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RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 7:33:21 PM

youngsubgeoff

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Again, I chose to get wasted, so I can chose not to. I am responsible for my actions. Thats another problem I have with 12 steppers, they seem to have no responsibility. "I didnt chose to be an alcaholic". Bullshit. Im betting nobody stood there and poured alcahol down your throat.

<edit> though I admit, there is a bigger chance to become an adict if a parent or relative is. Children live what they learn.

< Message edited by youngsubgeoff -- 5/17/2009 7:34:34 PM >

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Post #: 41

RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 7:48:15 PM

LadyPact

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That's kind of the thing, hon. You have to chose that every day.

As for not choosing to be or have an addictive personality, I hate to break this to you, but the AMA disagrees with you. Being powerless over an addiction doesn't relieve you of the responsibility. Ask anybody who's worked a ninth step.

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Post #: 42

RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 7:49:54 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Again, I chose to get wasted, so I can chose not to. I am responsible for my actions. Thats another problem I have with 12 steppers, they seem to have no responsibility. "I didnt chose to be an alcaholic". Bullshit. Im betting nobody stood there and poured alcahol down your throat.

<edit> though I admit, there is a bigger chance to become an adict if a parent or relative is. Children live what they learn.

Okay, Geoff, you drank and did drugs. Now you're saying that it is your responsibility to fix things.

You're 21. You're six years younger than Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin were when they died of drug overdoses, and 12 years younger than Belushi and Farley were.

You say you don't want to do a 12 step. What ARE you doing to change the dynamic that failed you before? And don't tell me that coming onto an Internet forum and asking for well wishes is an accomplishment.

We're interested. You owe it to us to ask for help when you need it, and use an outside agency. Give yourself every chance to succeed.

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Post #: 43

RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 7:57:07 PM

GreedyTop

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mail, Geoff

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Post #: 44

RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 8:00:09 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
You say you don't want to do a 12 step. What ARE you doing to change the dynamic that failed you before? And don't tell me that coming onto an Internet forum and asking for well wishes is an accomplishment.

We're interested. You owe it to us to ask for help when you need it, and use an outside agency. Give yourself every chance to succeed.

I understand your concern here, Steven, but insisting upon a 12-step program or outside agency isn't necessarily the best thing. I am a recovered addict who got off a hellacious IV coke habit without any help from any of those things. I wound up in jail for several months where I couldn't get it and used that time to decide I wanted better in my life. When I got out, I could've gone straight back to the needle. Believe me, the chances were there. No 12-step plan or outside counselor had to help me decide what I needed and wanted. It is possible to succeed without any of that if you're strong enough and so choose. As someone who has been as addicted as one can get, I can testify that it's possible. I'm over 7 years clean and Geoff can be too (with or without outside help) if he wants it badly enough...............luci

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Post #: 45

RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 8:18:23 PM

Aynne88

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For christ sake he's 21. I have so many friends at 21 that snorted, drank, smoked, injected whatever they could get there hands on, some of it myself included. I sold cars, made too much $$$ and partied like a rock star for the end of the 80's and a good part of the 90's. Was I a drug addict or an alcoholic? No. Suck it up, moderation, well, not so much the injectables, best leave that mess alone, but my point it I think Geoff likes this whole "bad boy rock star out of control" drama a tad bit much. Sorry, calling like I see it. Those friends of mine at 21? Successful, parents, community members, nary a train wreck junkie amongst them. Not saying it doesn't happen, but a lot of people partied their 20's away, and still worked, or in college, and came out just fine. And still manage to have a glass of wine or a what not on occasion without winding up in rehab or making an ass of themselves. Sometimes it is nothing more than situational abuse. 12 step programs are not always the answer. Nor are they always even helpful, for someone who is not an addict or an alcoholic.

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Post #: 46

RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 8:45:47 PM

Kalista07

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Aynne, with all due respect it sounds to me like we are comparing apples and grapefruits here. Let us not forget that there is a HUGE difference between someone who 'abuses' substance and someone who is 'dependent' on substances.... Once a person is 'dependent' on substances they can not uncross the line and go back to normal use...If a person only remains in the 'abuse' criteria they can return to 'normal using'....whatever that is...

Kali
Who checked herself into treatment 8 days after her 21st birthday.

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Post #: 47

RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 8:51:25 PM

youngsubgeoff

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Im not saying Im going full out no therapy of any kind. Im seeing a therapist on tuesday, and theyre probably going to reccomend weekly visits.

Aynne88:
Unfourtuneatly, this is not just a casual party thing. When I originally cleaned up 3 years ago, I decided to after waking up in an ambulance with an adrenaline needle in my chest. The doctors later told me I had been legally dead for about a minute. I have very little to no moderation when it comes to heroin, so I either full out stop or OD again and again, until I wind up dead. Considering Im not ready to die yet, Im chosing to stop full out.

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Post #: 48

RE: For Geoff - 5/17/2009 8:53:47 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Dude, I'll be real straight with you here. I don't care if you use NA, AA, therapy, yourself or any other damn thing. My purpose in this thread is that you get your shit together. Even if you being pissed of at Me helps to be a part of it.

Edited because the word is "or" not "of."

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 5/17/2009 8:57:07 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

Post #: 49

RE: For Geoff - 5/18/2009 7:54:25 AM

SassySarijane

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Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
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However you decide to do it, do it. I am a recovering IV drug user, clean over 10 years now. I went through hell getting off of the things I was on. I made a choice between the drugs and family more than once. Family finally won in my case. I had to decide what was more important to me and then show it. It is not a fast or easy thing to do, but if you are determined you will stick with it, come back from goof ups and keep fighting to be and stay clean.

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Post #: 50

RE: For Geoff - 5/18/2009 8:14:07 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

Again, I chose to get wasted, so I can chose not to. I am responsible for my actions. Thats another problem I have with 12 steppers, they seem to have no responsibility. "I didnt chose to be an alcaholic". Bullshit. Im betting nobody stood there and poured alcahol down your throat.

you are correct. No one forced you to drink. No one forced me to drink. Yet...you have an alcohol problem and i do not. Did you choose it to be that way? No...you did not. This is what that statement means, Geoff. You did not choose to have an addiction.

However...YOU CAN CHOSE NOT TO.

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Post #: 51

RE: For Geoff - 5/18/2009 8:32:31 AM

ShaktiSama

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I'm sorry to hear that you're having problems, handsome. I wish I knew how to wave my magic wand and make addiction go away; if I did, I'd save the marriage of two dear friends of mine. They just had a baby last year, and now the woman has a set of divorce papers on her desk and she's thrown her husband out of the house. He has one option: go to rehab, clean up and fly right, or lose his wife and child.

He told her when she kicked him out of their apartment that "he never believed she would really do it". Her response was simple: "Do I ever lie to you? I told you that the next time you were drunk or stoned around our kid, you were leaving." And then she said goodbye. If he doesn't succeed in the rehab and kicking the booze and the pills, she'll be signing those divorce papers. She has no choice; she has a child to protect and a future of her own to think about. No matter how much she loves him, she can't afford to let him drag her down because he's determined to drown rather than swim.

It would have been nice if he had found the strength of will and the love for her and his child to clean up his act while he still had a loving and supportive home to do it in. Instead, he thought her love for him was a license to abuse her trust and authority (she's domme as well). Now he's got to do it on his own or lose it all.

It looks to me like you're in a position now where people love and support you. It's probably not going to get any easier to do this when you have driven them all away. Maybe now is the time to do yourself a favor, and get 'er done before you have to do it the hard way, the way my friend does--because when you do it the hard way, it isn't only hard on you.

Either way, I've seen you change your life and your attitude dramatically before, so I know you can do whatever you set your mind to. This decision is about whether you want to live or not. If you've had a hard life up to this point, I can see why you might have some doubts on the subject. But as someone who made this choice same many years ago, in my own way, I have to tell you: living has a lot to recommend it.

The more years you put between you and the bad times, the better it gets.

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 5/18/2009 8:33:34 AM >

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Post #: 52

RE: For Geoff - 5/18/2009 7:33:28 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

It looks to me like you're in a position now where people love and support you. It's probably not going to get any easier to do this when you have driven them all away. Maybe now is the time to do yourself a favor, and get 'er done before you have to do it the hard way, the way my friend does--because when you do it the hard way, it isn't only hard on you.

These are the words to keep in mind, Geoff. How many have you not driven away?

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Post #: 53

RE: For Geoff - 5/19/2009 5:03:45 AM

Aynne88

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Kali did whatever program you entered make you unable to even know or discern what "normal" is or was that a dig that there is no such thing as "normal" using of any substance? It is so hard to get a feeling on these boards sometimes so I am going to assume you mean you don't think someone can use any substance in a normal way. Look at all of the clinically diagnosed depressed people whose Dr.s have them on everything under the sun, that is ok? But someone that wants to come home after work and smoke a joint isn't? I don't smoke by the way, that is rhetorical. I have just read soooooo many weepy subs on this board talking about all their meds, and scrips and what they take for this and that, that I don't see any difference between someone that wants to get fucked up now and then to someone that can't funtion without a xanax, prozac, or whatever else to get through the day on a daily basis. Is seems to go hand in hand with a lot of submissives. I don't know why, but I have clearly seen it.

Normal is what you make it. For me, if it's Saturday night and I want to go out and hit a few bars, enjoy a nice bottle of Pinot Noir with dinner or do some shots of Patron at a dive bar, I am. No big deal. I don't need to numb myself daily because my life sucks so bad I need a dozen Rx's to function. I am not directing that at you, I am just saying that just because Dr. Feelgood prescribes it doesn't make it any "better".

I think a lot of people get "hooked" on treatment just as much as the drug that brought them there in the 1st place.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Aynne, with all due respect it sounds to me like we are comparing apples and grapefruits here. Let us not forget that there is a HUGE difference between someone who 'abuses' substance and someone who is 'dependent' on substances.... Once a person is 'dependent' on substances they can not uncross the line and go back to normal use...If a person only remains in the 'abuse' criteria they can return to 'normal using'....whatever that is...

Kali
Who checked herself into treatment 8 days after her 21st birthday.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

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Post #: 54

RE: For Geoff - 5/19/2009 5:38:37 AM

Kalista07

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Aynne...Oh goodness that was in no way intended to be a dig towards anyone...The reality is for me i have no freaking clue what normal is. i stared drinking daily at such an early age (elementary school) that i have had to forfeit my right to a chemical peace of mind. i can not even fathom drinking for just....say.... well hell honestly cognitively i can not even comprehend drinking unless it is to get drunk.
i understand where you are coming from exactly.... i tend to not differentiate between people who abuse marijuana to 'relax' and people who abuse xanax to relax. Incidently, there are increasing numbers of people who are reporting being dependent on prescribed opiates... On many levels it breaks my heart. i will never forget this little 'old man who entered treatment where i worked.... He was in his late 60's and had started taking opiates as prescribed by his physican for hte first 5 years...Then he began abusing them...then he began forging scripts to get them....
i think anything taken to extreme is unhealthy for most of us.... Which is why i personally strive for balance in my personal life.
At the end of the day though, i'm convinced that i'm a full time job for me and my higher power.....So, what everyone else does is truly none of my business....
Kali

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Post #: 55

RE: For Geoff - 5/19/2009 5:58:39 PM

doll

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From: Middle Georgia
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Doll asked me to come online because she can't get online herself so this is from both of us.

Geoff,
If you are responsible for your own actions, then get your act together. YOU are the only person who can fix you. If going through therapy is what you are going to do, then I hope that you get help for more than just your addictions. You havea lot of issues that you need to deal with and overcome and I wish you the best of luck.

MoGa: I love you sis..your a bigger person than I am because you have so many issues of your own that you are dealing with..and yet you still take the time to deal with this for Geoff. IMO, I don't think that you should have to indulge Geoff everytime he feels down on himself, you know as well as I do that it will never be enough for Geoff but as your friend you know I always got your back in whatever you do.

From Marsha: Geoff...grow the hell up dude..I don't know you but omg you talk about being responsible for you and your actions then start acting like it and stop begging help from online people and someone who is dealing with a full plate already. You should be ashamed of yourself coming on here asking for help yet your not willing to go to NA AA or any 12 step program that may help you..NOONE online can fix you. MoGa is a very important person to me and instead of you whining about you and your problems you should be thinking of her rather than being selfish and only thinking of you and your problems that YOU created..noone but you drank that alcohol..NOONE but you did the drugs so grow a spine..grow the hell up...and be a MAN for once in your life and stand on your own 2 feet and stop relying on other people to fix your screw ups.

MoGa: I love you girl but I am not going to be nice about all this. I do hope he gets help but to me IMO this is a selfish attempt to gain attention for himself cause the attention was all on you. Noone can help him but him but you are a great person to try repeatedly. If he TRULY wanted help he would go to a 12 step program or a rehab regardless of how he may view some of these programs which are proven to help people kick addictions. If he wants to kick it on his own then he needs to be serious about it and to be a man and do it on his own without begging your help knowing what you are already going through. I am truly sorry that he is going through this I do know how it is to struggle with things but the things I struggle with are out of my control. He can fix this but he has to want to fix it not just say he does to get all this atention.

Geoff: I don't care if this pisses you off or not I only care about MoGa but out of respect for her I will leave the past out of this. Doll won't let me say what I truly want to say to you so you can thank her and MoGa for me being nice cause honestly I don't give a shit about you or your addictions.

< Message edited by doll -- 5/19/2009 6:04:51 PM >

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Post #: 56

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