Basic Mistress Etiquette

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Basic Mistress Etiquette

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Basic Mistress Etiquette

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 8:47:25 PM

lockandtease

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/13/2009
Status: offline

Hey, I was wondering if any one could either explain to me or point me to a resource for the proper manner in which to address a Mistress and what basic limits are and such. Basically a guide to the etiquette or submission, particular in a communication manner, how to address them, when its ok to ask for things etc.

Post #: 1

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 8:59:40 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Sadly, there is no handbook for such things. Every person is different. POLITENESS is the name of the game, no matter what. Be courteous, and if you want to know how that lady wants to be addressed, ask her.

Until you have a relationship with a dominant, she is not YOUR dominant, she is a human being on the same level as you. Do what you would normally do to make a good impression.

edited for clarity

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 5/15/2009 9:00:57 PM >

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to lockandtease)

Post #: 2

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 9:28:29 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Pleasing a Mistress can be similar to pleasing a Woman sexually; a man must remember that each Woman is different. However, yes there are certain basic standards which most Mistresses appreciate. Such as:

1. Be polite.
2. you can begin by addressing Her as "Mistress" until She corrects you with another name or title She prefers.
3. Rather than to list out what you like or want, instead ask how you can serve HER.
4. If emailing Her, do not attach a picture until She requests one.
5. Ask what She would like to know about you, then go from there.

Hope this is helpful.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 3

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 9:30:26 PM

kttqnp

Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline

I personally hate messages that begin with "Hey".

(in reply to lockandtease)

Post #: 4

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 9:30:48 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Pleasing a Mistress can be similar to pleasing a Woman sexually; a man must remember that each Woman is different. However, yes there are certain basic standards which most Mistresses appreciate. Such as:

1. Be polite.
2. you can begin by addressing Her as "Mistress" until She corrects you with another name or title She prefers.
3. Rather than to list out what you like or want, instead ask how you can serve HER.
4. If emailing Her, do not attach a picture until She requests one.
5. Ask what She would like to know about you, then go from there.

Hope this is helpful.

#2 is horrible advice. Never address a woman you do not know as "Mistress."

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

Post #: 5

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 9:31:49 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Pleasing a Mistress can be similar to pleasing a Woman sexually; a man must remember that each Woman is different. However, yes there are certain basic standards which most Mistresses appreciate. Such as:

1. Be polite.
2. you can begin by addressing Her as "Mistress" until She corrects you with another name or title She prefers.
3. Rather than to list out what you like or want, instead ask how you can serve HER.
4. If emailing Her, do not attach a picture until She requests one.
5. Ask what She would like to know about you, then go from there.

Hope this is helpful.

#2 is horrible advice. Never address a woman you do not know as "Mistress."

Akasha

I agree! For many of us, MISTRESS or the like are titles to be earned.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 6

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 9:37:48 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kttqnp

I personally hate messages that begin with "Hey".

It's better than those that close with 'holla back' so at least there is that.

Seriously, OP, this is the advice that I tend to give people who ask this question. Before any person is looking at the lifestyle etiquette, they are looking at good, old fashioned, every day manners first. Kind of like you have to walk before you can run.

ETA, I also agree that #2 in a prior response is absolutely incorrect. Addressing someone as "Mistress" is improper unless you are in service to or wearing that person's collar. Not only did I earn My title, the one who uses it has to earn that privilege as well.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 5/15/2009 9:40:22 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to kttqnp)

Post #: 7

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 9:38:52 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Oh gosh, some guy wrote me and said, "What's good?" I had to ask one of my friends what he even MEANT.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 8

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 10:04:17 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

I can't stand being referred to as "G-ddess".. Ugh..
and, I think AcademyforSlaves (sorry!) was off the mark in saying, "Don't send a picture until requested".

A tasteful full length shot is required. For fucks sake, NO COCK SHOTS (unless you are told to of course).

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 9

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 10:28:13 PM

kttqnp

Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline

What Bossy Shoe Bitch said, definitely.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 10

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/15/2009 10:51:08 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

I'm jealous!
No one's ever asked me to holla back, lol.

My favorite direct to block button introdution is " would you like to do this to me?" M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 3:24:59 AM

masmiss

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

I absolutely hate getting a message that has a long list of the sub's favorite kinks then ends with the sentence: "If you're into any of this get back to me".

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to lockandtease)

Post #: 12

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 3:48:52 AM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

The only good advice I have really, is this

1.Talk to her like she is a person.
2.Be polite.
3.Don't assume anything.
4. DON'T script anything ever. We do NOT want a 35 page missive on what you think a perfect scene is, in your first email.
5. Address her by her Screen name.

_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat

(in reply to masmiss)

Post #: 13

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 3:51:46 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Yes, I think ordinary good manners. This shows you can control your kinks and talk to her as a balanced, decent man, at first.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to lockandtease)

Post #: 14

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 4:27:16 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

To me it's down to three things (1) manners and basic courtesy (2) effective communication and (3) personal integrity.

A Mistress isn't a Mistress until that time when she introduces herself to you as such or directs you to address her as such, otherwise she is a woman, a person, a human. She needs acceptance and understanding very much in the same way you do as well as being considerate of her and her needs, wants, etc. This goes into effective communication, listening, reading, taking in things about her, being receptive to what she thinks and how she feels, giving her ample opportunity to express herself and also you being honest, open and sincere, meaning what you say and saying what you mean. This comes into having a word, and you do indeed have a word, and an important part of this is keeping your word.

With all that, and with the right lady, it is, as they say Bob's your uncle.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to lockandtease)

Post #: 15

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 5:36:34 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Also, don't start a message with things like "Hey Baby". Words like "baby" and "girl" are dimunitives, and I've found that dommiekins tend not to like them.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to lockandtease)

Post #: 16

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 5:58:32 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Words like "baby" and "girl" are dimunitives, and I've found that dommiekins tend not to like them.

What if they`re not very tall.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 17

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 6:25:01 AM

YoursMistress

Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Oh gosh, some guy wrote me and said, "What's good?" I had to ask one of my friends what he even MEANT.

Miss LH, Now I'm dying to know what's good!

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

A tasteful full length shot is required. For fucks sake, NO COCK SHOTS (unless you are told to of course).

Miss BSB, That is one of my favorite expressions/exclamations! Sadly, I can no longer use it in the work place except under the most dire of situations for fear of an appearance of harassment. Thank you!

yours

_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 6:53:22 AM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

The only good advice I have really, is this

1.Talk to her like she is a person.
2.Be polite.
3.Don't assume anything.
4. DON'T script anything ever. We do NOT want a 35 page missive on what you think a perfect scene is, in your first email.
5. Address her by her Screen name.

I concure the only thing I would add to #5 is unless her profile states a specific form of address.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 19

RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette - 5/16/2009 7:13:15 AM

GYPZYQUEEN

Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline

She is not your Mistress........this is a man and woman talking...

so you could begin with a nice
**"Good morning..may I speak with you?"
and what ever she has asked for in her profile..
experience?..how you would enhance her life..?

then

"How shall I address you?"

** a nice smiling regular pic is nice..( no dics or shirtless etc)PLS!!!!!!!!!!
*"Do you have time to talk today?"

POLITE = POLITE and that goes both ways

GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 5/16/2009 7:15:28 AM >

(in reply to LovingMistress45)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Basic Mistress Etiquette

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094