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Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 12:57:24 PM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

All too often in the "Ask a Mistress" threads I see something that rarely occures in the other threads and that is an extremely negative attitude toward the male sub population in general, often caused by a very few individuals. In recent history I have come to almost totally shun the "Ask a Mistress" threads because of all the negativity. One thread that I saw today made me sit down and write a two page diatribe about what I have seen recently, but after getting it out of my system through writing I decided to try a more "you can catch more flies with sugar than vinager" approach.

This thread is NOT for rants. It is NOT for negativity. What I would like to see here are some of the positive actions and attributes that you see and have seen from the CollarMe sub/males. If you want all of us to be better then tell us the good that you have seen in others. No negativity please.

Post #: 1

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:00:12 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

There are a lot of great guys (from where I sit) on here. It's just not the gender I am interested in.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 2

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:07:26 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

I've recently started corresponding with someone who has been tremendously helpful, and all we've done is swap a few e-mails. I had asked his advice on returning to the UK to live, as he was likely to be in a position to know what my options were, he did some research, and got back to me in short order with information that is likely to change my life. Is that the kind of service I'm looking for? In the words of one of the US's most articulate politicians, you betcha!

Such a wonderful change from the quid pro quo subs, and definitely puts me in mind to give him consideration instead of the barbarians at the gate.

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 3

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:13:40 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

I actually have met some very nice submissive and masochistic-bottom men AND women on Collarme and elsewhere, including my current partner. In all honesty, I get crazy sexual emails on virtually any website where I put up a profile and look for models, so I'm fairly used to it. I think the only reason it stands out on CM with submissive males is because the irony index is higher.

In the realm of "emails/phone calls from people I have not met in person", I had some nice conversations with a very cool submissive male who lived on the West Coast last year, by email and phone. He remains one of my favorite posters when he is around to post, which is very infrequent--gasp, could he be too busy?!?

I've also run into a number of submissive male models and photographers, some of whom are extremely gifted, and all of whom were extremely positive people. One of them made me a photoshop portrait of myself with a tiny naked man perched on the slope of my breast, which I thought was pretty adorable.

I'm not going to address the negativity about the forum in your own post--again, like abusive emails and treatment from sub males, it only stands out because of the extra irony.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 4

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:19:52 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I have had a lot of positive experiences from men at CM. Those who have read my profile or journal and have shared some common experience with me and we have formed friendships. There are some great men out there, they just may not be in the same area so that one can have more experiences with you. Since a lot of what is shared is personal, I don't go around speaking about it. But even on the boards we have a number of wonderful men and it is clear to see that they are wonderful! More than a few of us exchange email with them and enjoy them very much. And we tell them what we think of them!

igor, you kind of ball gag us by your requirements of what you want on this thread and I am not going to go against that too far... except for one thing. It isn't just a few men who are ruining it for the majority. The femdom expereince around here is something some just cannot understand unless they are in our mail boxes so to speak. The submissive women get it because they are getting it too.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 5

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:22:04 PM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Thank you for the posts so far.

Shaktisama, would you mind if I ask you a couple of questions via cmail?

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 6

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:25:55 PM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

In what way do you feel ball gagged? There are a hunderd threads out there where many women can and do feel the need to let the world know what is "wrong" with all the sub males. I'm just asking for one thread where you can tell us what is right with them.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 7

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:33:02 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

Thank you for the posts so far.

Shaktisama, would you mind if I ask you a couple of questions via cmail?

No problemo. I don't have any blocks on my email or forum reading unless someone has been abusive.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 8

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:33:08 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Then you might start your positive thread without the negative about how negative we domina's are based on only few men messing it up for the majority which isn't what most of us see in our mailbox. By your avoiding the mistress board I think you do miss the good things we say to the wonderful submissive men on the board and our in person connections.

There is nothing wrong in wanting to hear some good! Yes.. I know you didn't like my thread... but that isn't a whole and complete picture of anything or anyone.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 9

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:37:34 PM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Without expressing the negativity I have seen to open this thread it would not have made as much sense to even start this thread would it?

It certainly did not take long for you to bring negativity into this thread as well. Good going!

< Message edited by igor2003 -- 5/18/2009 1:41:49 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 10

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:47:21 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

You asked me how I felt about the ball gag statement... I answered.

I am very sorry that you feel the negative... That isn't all there is in my world or in many I see here. But it isn't always a dominant starting the threads around here and many threads are a fine example of why we may appear to be as you see us.

Basing your negative view of the mistress board and us in general... by feeling a few ruin it for the majority is what I found a ball gag thing because you were not allowing free speach on your thread... just the happy. I get just the happy... love it... but when a positive is the goal, don't start it on a negative.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 11

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:49:50 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

FR - Don't two negatives make a positive?

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 12

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:50:09 PM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

So you are saying that you can not say positive things about the CollarMe sub males without adding negative thoughts as well?

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 13

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:51:46 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

My only negative comment was about what you said...

I have plenty to say about CM men... and much of it good.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 14

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 1:55:17 PM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I want to thank the ladies that have at least tired to keep the thread true to it's course. As you can see, it didn't take long for just one lady to ruin the whole idea. Kind of proves my point about what I have seen in "Ask a Mistress" recently. Good luck to you all and thanks for your good, but short participation. I really don't see much need in trying to pursue it further.

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 15

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 2:03:25 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Actually, I think if you read this board more often, you'd see the positives. Without calling direct attention to anyone in particular, I'm sure many of the male subs who frequent here can tell you we are not constantly negative to them. In this past week or so alone, there have been at least four of them who have written wonderful posts regarding submission and have been highly praised for doing so. I wouldn't think of forgetting about those who make us laugh, and are often appreciated for that ability. The times they get our minds going with great ideas about play and other aspects involved in wiitwd.

Now, are we just going to roll over and say every male that slaps a submissive title in relation to himself is going to receive that kind of response? Sorry, but no. If all someone talks about is being fisted or how he wants to cheat on his wife or how he wants life support for a whip, they aren't going to get the same response. Unfortunately, it isn't the few that ruin it for the many. Often, it is the many that mess it up for the positive few.

If you want to consider that negative, please be My guest. Just remember where it really stems from.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 16

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 2:03:53 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

I want to thank the ladies that have at least tired to keep the thread true to it's course. As you can see, it didn't take long for just one lady to ruin the whole idea. Kind of proves my point about what I have seen in "Ask a Mistress" recently. Good luck to you all and thanks for your good, but short participation. I really don't see much need in trying to pursue it further.

Lol! Oh, the Irony Index increases.

In less than one page, you had a positive-to-negative ratio of 3 to 1, despite pre-loading your thread with your own negativity. But you turn your tail and quit and think it's pointless because one bad egg spoils the lot?

Wow. You'd never make it as a femdom, igor. Over on the other side, our positive-to-negative ratio is 1-24 at best. Sometimes worse. If we weren't willing to grit our teeth and keep at it, we'd all leave on the first day. I guess it just goes to show you who's serious about what they want, eh?

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 17

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 2:20:32 PM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

Life is a negative experience. All that work just to die? Might as well go around kicking cats while we can!

Anyway, I've had a few positive experiences here. I've met my mate, I've made a few friends, and I've had a great time drooling over some of the prime quality sub males here and there.

It's very exciting to get an email from an individual who has a brain and knows how to use it. It's rare that I get those, but when I do it makes that small part of my day much brighter.

And on a more personal note, I am a cynical person. I grew up that way, I'll always be that way, and it's saved my ass more times than it's hurt. If my negative attitude towards negative people offends some people, tough bird poop.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 18

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 2:44:59 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

I speak My mind, if someone is a phucktard, I'm going to say so--if someone is a gem, I'm going to say so--that goes for here or out there.

What's good about male submissives? That they are male and submissive.

What's bad about the good ones? They are taken or don't live in My area or can't relo to My area or are married.

As for the rest, well...

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 19

RE: Looking to the positive - 5/18/2009 3:18:05 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am glad for the lovely male submissives I have gotten to know here. I won't actually mention them by NAME, of course, because they will get all self-important.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 20

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