RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 3:22:05 PM)

quote:

i have to wonder why others are so emotionally invested in a short note sent to someone they don't know.


Ditto. I will never understand all of the whining about pm's. It's just a message, you can delete it. It's cyber, it's not real. Reality check. Thank you.



Real0ne -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 4:08:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

i have to wonder why others are so emotionally invested in a short note sent to someone they don't know.


Ditto. I will never understand all of the whining about pm's. It's just a message, you can delete it. It's cyber, it's not real. Reality check. Thank you.


Well if it does not violate the tos, i dont htink it does, i would have to check, that can be remedied really easily!

i will be happy to give you all my info, password, and pick out the people i want to write and you can write to them, hows that?

The rules are put it all into you own words, customize it to each profile, and i generally make it a full 8x11 page in length.

Nothing like a little first hand experience, it wont take to long for you to understand then :)

If its so insignificant i expect i will see thousands of women on here jumping at the chance to show me how wrong i am!!!! any takers :)

rgds,
r1



Real0ne -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 4:17:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorThree

Sometimes I wonder if the reason emails are tossed is because a great majority of our members do at least read the forums.

1) Get the email
2) Look up profile to determine if worth opening
3) Click on forum posts
4) Delete email

Something to think about.

Mod3


ditto. as others have said, this gives a much better idea of who this person contacting is. if you only read the email you may respond because they seemed level-headed and otherwise appealing but have totally missed them being rude and/or childish on the boards. better to not waste my own time speaking to someone who is hateful and hiding it.

additionally, i did not know that one could filter like that with the mail controls here; i never messed with them. knowing this now, though, i'm not currently planning on using them to do so but fully agree with the mods on keeping the filters private.

*generic "you"s ahead*

we get thread after thread here about "people aren't reading the mail i sent!!" & "people are reading the mail i sent but not replying!!". if someone doesn't read or respond to you, it simply means they're not interested... it's not confusing or difficult, it's a turn-down. no big deal at all. i've had a number of emails not returned, that means they didn't want to return it. it's that simple.

i have to wonder why others are so emotionally invested in a short note sent to someone they don't know.

also, for a polite 2-3 paragraph introductory note it takes about 3-5 minutes *tops* to type it, depending on how much thought is put into the wording. i can appreciate that if you cannot type it may take a bit longer, but still. if that little time is that valuable to you, then i find it hard to believe the time spent complaining about it on the boards is any less so.... and yet that extra time is spent doing so, showing that -in fact- the person has plenty of time and effort to spend on the internet. either that or they don't have the time, but do have time-management problems which is another thing no one else's fault but their own.

in short, take responsibility for your own actions. we each choose to take the risk of trying to contact someone, online or in the real world. sometimes they bite, sometimes they don't. -but whether and how we take that risk is 100% on us and they are not to blame for our disappointment at their not being interested, which is all they are saying when online they filter, delete or do not respond to us.


i apologize if post number 77 was not showing when you posted.

preferences would be the argument and case in point to beat at this stage of the debate.

so you need to make some kind of a case against me, that demonstrates that the (items in the mail controls are "not" preferences) as described in post #77, for a valid rebuttal if you wish to invalidate the case in point i have demonstrated.

So far i have demonstrated that the attached label "privacy" is not legitimate in first place.

Since so many seem to be missing this point i hope this helps clarify it.

So i have made and presented a valid case in point that they are nothing more or less than any other preferences. your turn.

~sigh, this would be so easy in a courtroom

rgds
r1



MasterWoodworker -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 5:46:44 PM)

Count your blessing, for heavens sake, an email is just an email. if some here are such prudes they don't have time to be polite in reponse to a simple "hello", all the while projecting a very closed mind and personal conceit by trashing said "hello", I wouldn't want to hear back from them anyway.

I've never admired anyone in my entire lifetime who was that full of themself. I'll damn sure not start now with some snotty stuckup online stranger.

Fuggedaboutit!



IrishMist -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 5:49:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWoodworker

Count your blessing, for heavens sake, an email is just an email. if some here are such prudes they don't have time to be polite in reponse to a simple "hello", all the while projecting a very closed mind and personal conceit by trashing said "hello", I wouldn't want to hear back from them anyway.

I've never admired anyone in my entire lifetime who was that full of themself. I'll damn sure not start now with some snotty stuckup online stranger.

Fuggedaboutit!



/ponders the possibilities that have just opened up before her



MasterWoodworker -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 7:19:56 PM)

never hold back, angel..it's not healthy and I'd never risk your health :)



IrishMist -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 7:40:29 PM)

I can see RealOne's point that he is trying to make.

BUT

I can also see the other side of the argument.

Personally, though, I can't see why you are getting so bent out of shape over the fact that some emails go unanswered. Yes, I understand that you are taking the time to write a perfectly nice introduction, that you are here to meet someone, and that you feel you are wasting time writing to people who have no interest in you because of age, location, etc. Obviously your time is very precious to you, and you feel offended that your well written words are going unnoticed. ( And, contrary to my usuall bitchy self, that was not meant as an insult ) It can be frustrating, that much I know.

But RealOne, is it really worth getting so bent out of shape for? So your email went into bulk mail. Or got deleted without being read. And all because you wrote to someone who felt that you were too old, too young, too far away...and did not bother to put it in their profile. What makes you think that IF something like this was to be used as you suggested, and you instead wrote to one who fit within the parameters that you have requested...what makes you think that your mail will be read then? Who knows, the fact that you hair color is not what they are looking for may be a determining factor in them not reading your mail. There are thousands of reasons why mail ends up in bulk, or deleted...the ones that you have listed here are just a few of them.

I never read my email without first looking at the profile. If there is something in the profile that I don't like, it gets deleted. Why? Because I have that right. Just as any other person who receives email does. They have the right to NOT read or respond to ANY mail that they choose. Adding these extra features that you feel are so important will not change the fact that THEY STILL HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUT THAT MAIL IN BULK OR DELETE without ever opening it.

You don't have to like the fact that they have that right. But, there it is. A persons right to answer who they choose to answer, to read what they choose to read.

That is the point, I believe, that everyone has been trying to get across with you. It all comes down to OUR OWN personal preferences.



KatyLied -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 8:31:20 PM)

Here we go....again. Just because you receive a message from someone, it does not obligate you to answer. It's yours to respond or not to respond to. It doesn't mean you are rude. Do you answer every piece of snail mail? Do you welcome every stranger who knocks on your front door?



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 8:36:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I can see RealOne's point that he is trying to make.

BUT

I can also see the other side of the argument.
<snipped>


You did that very nicely, Irish.



MasterWoodworker -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 9:47:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Here we go....again. Just because you receive a message from someone, it does not obligate you to answer. It's yours to respond or not to respond to. It doesn't mean you are rude. Do you answer every piece of snail mail? Do you welcome every stranger who knocks on your front door?


We'll have to agree to disagree, katy. I reply to every email (not spam of course), and tho likely not as many as a female here would recieve, there's always time to at least speed read it and give a short reply even if only to cut n paste "I'm not available" or something.

I consider a personal email "flirt" much like a smile and eye contact with a stranger on the street. I didn't ask them to smile at me. But my natural instinct is to nod in a friendly manner in return. Just seems rude to turn your head and spit on the curb to people who maybe are feeling happy that day or just normally friendly.

I digress, to each their own I guess

ps: I wanna know who's knockin' on my door, so yes, I answer that, too.



Real0ne -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 10:54:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Here we go....again. Just because you receive a message from someone, it does not obligate you to answer. It's yours to respond or not to respond to. It doesn't mean you are rude. Do you answer every piece of snail mail? Do you welcome every stranger who knocks on your front door?

Yes read below please:

It does not seem like muttling thru this again is really going to get anywhere but i will take this point by point and try again to clear things up for those who still do not understand this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
I can see RealOne's point that he is trying to make.
BUT
I can also see the other side of the argument.

But RealOne, is it really worth getting so bent out of shape for?


First i am not bent out of shape, this is a debate i presented my case and i expect someone will counter it with a legitimate rebuttal at some point and if they cant well then my version stands.

quote:

So your email went into bulk mail.

Yes mail is going into bulk.

quote:

Or got deleted without being read.

ok here is where you and others are going astray.

"or getting deleted" is not included in this debate and is entirely different subject than mail controls.

quote:

And all because you wrote to someone who felt that you were too old, too young, too far away...and did not bother to put it in their profile.


i do not write to people who think i am too old, young, or far away, that is my point!

The only way i can know to "NOT" to write to them is if it is diplayed on the profile, that is also correct.

If it is displayed i do not write to them and if i do not fit "anything" they are asking for i do "NOT" write to them!. That is also correct.

quote:

What makes you think that IF something like this was to be used as you suggested, and you instead wrote to one who fit within the parameters that you have requested...what makes you think that your mail will be read then?


That is not the point.

All i think is that a legitimate email should "NOT" go to the garbage, it should go to the mailbox.

What they do with it after that is entirely up to them.

They can delete it not read it whatever turns them on or off as that is not the point.

The point again is the typically improperly used mail controls. as an example, look how many people come on here in this post alone and admitted they have no clu how they work.

What do we have here a .001% sample viewing this at best maybe.

quote:

Who knows, the fact that you hair color is not what they are looking for may be a determining factor in them not reading your mail. There are thousands of reasons why mail ends up in bulk, or deleted...the ones that you have listed here are just a few of them.


No there are only 5 reasons or 5 preferences that a mail would end end up in the garbage, otherwise known as bulk mail. To see my hair color or know anything about me they have to open the email to see the pic so scratch that one.

quote:

I never read my email without first looking at the profile. If there is something in the profile that I don't like, it gets deleted. Why? Because I have that right. Just as any other person who receives email does. They have the right to NOT read or respond to ANY mail that they choose. Adding these extra features that you feel are so important will not change the fact that THEY STILL HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUT THAT MAIL IN BULK OR DELETE without ever opening it.


Well that is your "RIGHT" of course.

Now for someone like me, my profile and pics all come in that first letter and i am sure there are many others that do the same.

If you like some others feel that you can tell what makes a person without first seeing what they have to say in the email, well then the government has some very hi paying jobs for you as a psychic.

Then again if you are not a psychic maybe you are in the end screwing yourself as mister wonderful may have been in one of those letters you deleted. :) it is your "RIGHT" however to do what you wish ok.

Oh dont get me wrong, i make a point here but it is your "RIGHT" to do whatever you please once a legitimate email is in your "mail box". Make no mistake. NOTE: i said "MAIL BOX" NOT "GARBAGE BOX, IE: BULK MAIL"

quote:

You don't have to like the fact that they have that right. But, there it is. A persons right to answer who they choose to answer, to read what they choose to read.


That is very tru as i have just said you have to right to do whatever it is you please with that mail once it is in your "MAILBOX". NOTE: mail box is not the same as garbage bulk mail.

quote:

That is the point, I believe, that everyone has been trying to get across with you. It all comes down to OUR OWN personal preferences.


Well there you go. i agree it is all about preferences and i am sure this was intended to refute me even tho you just supported me. "oops"

Again the problem is the bulk mail box settings not being displyed on with the rest of the "PREFERENCES" as you just agreed that they are.


This debate is not about removing mail controls or chinging their function.

This debate is not about email that does not get read.
This debate is not about email that gets deleted.
This debate is not about email that gets ignored.


This debate is about "ALL" the preferences being displayed on the profile.

ty,
rgds,
r1





Real0ne -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/14/2006 10:56:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWoodworker
ps: I wanna know who's knockin' on my door, so yes, I answer that, too.


yeh me too, i always answer my door, phone and email regardless who is there or who calls. unless it is obvious that is is spam of course.



IrishMist -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/15/2006 5:28:16 AM)

quote:

First i am not bent out of shape, this is a debate i presented my case and i expect someone will counter it with a legitimate rebuttal at some point and if they cant well then my version stands.


Hmm a debate? NO, you are not trying to debate a valid issue here, you are trying to force others to see your side, while at the same time, ignoring what others are saying in response.

You want to see...on every profile...the fact that a person is only looking for people in a certain age range, location, etc. Correct? I understand your reasons for wanting to see this. It would cut down on mail that you send to people that are obviously not looking for someone who might be your age, or in your location, etc etc. I get that. Really. Totally. And it's a valid complaint.

But, let's look at this for a minute. Let's say, for arguments sake, that your suggestion is taken into account and made a fact. Ok. Now, here we have a profile of so and so domina/dom, who is looking for so and so, age 20-30, HWP, within 50 miles of this location.

You fit the preferances perfectly. Upon further reading, you find that you have many of the same interests. So, you write so and so a very nice introductory letter. A VERY NICE ONE. You sit back and wait for a response. One month goes by. Then two. Then three. So, you follow it up with a second letter, again, a very nice introductory letter, along with a small comment letting so and so know that this is the second time that you have contacted them. Once again. No response.

So and so saw your letter in their mailbox, read your profile, and for reasons OF THEIR OWN, decided that you were not compatible. So, they either deleted, or moved your name to the bulk mail bin, without ever reading it.

Now what you do? You are right back at square one. Faced with the fact that for reasons of their own, people do not read some mail, but they do read others.

No matter how many preferences you put into the mail controls, and no matter how many of those are made into public viewing...you are still faced with the block that people make their own choices on whether or not they are going to do something. Like read your mail. Or answer your mail after it has been read.

The argument that I am presenting is this

Everyone makes a conscious choice to either read mail, answer mail, delete mail, or move it to another folder. It has nothing to do with whether or not a person is within our perferred age range, location, or physical requirements. It all comes down to US making our own decision to read, answer, delete or ignore.



Real0ne -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/15/2006 7:36:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

you are not trying to debate a valid issue here

I get that. Really. Totally. And it's a valid complaint.



please read my response to arpig in post 77 and also my last response to you in post 92 taking note of what this debate is "not" about. i have already addressed all the points you have mentioned in this post. i also added one more statement below about what this debate is not in case it is not obvious.

This debate is not about restricting your freedom to choose.

respectfully,
r1





IrishMist -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/15/2006 3:44:05 PM)

No, it's not about restriction. But you are missing the one single point that EVERYONE has tried to impose upon you here.

EVEN IF your suggestions are taken into practice, it is not going to matter at all, for the SAME REASON ALREADY STATED.

So, since doing such a thing would not change the outcome, why should they waste their time putting in certain preference parameters as you are suggesting? It will NOT CHANGE anything because the person that you are writing to may still do nothing more with your email then delete or move it to a bin unopened.

You can not just think of what you want out of this, but you have to see the big picture and weigh all possibilities that may occur. And that, you are NOT doing.



Real0ne -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/15/2006 6:59:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
But you are missing the one single point that EVERYONE has tried to impose upon you here.
EVEN IF your suggestions are taken into practice, it is not going to matter at all


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
So and so saw your letter in their mailbox, read your profile, and for reasons OF THEIR OWN, decided that you were not compatible. So, they either deleted, or moved your name to the bulk mail bin, without ever reading it.

You are right back at square one. Faced with the fact that for reasons of their own, people do not read some mail, but they do read others.


Ok lets start here. Is this the focus of what you feel everyone is trying to impose on me?



Arpig -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/15/2006 7:10:15 PM)

Sorry RealOne, but despite your refusal to see it, your arguement has been rebutted, repeatedly.
Many of us have a PREFERENCE to not reveal our mail filter settings.
I am under no obligation to check off anything in the questionaires, or to enter anything in the descriptive part of the profile, or to check off any of the "actively seeking" checkboxes, so why should I be obligated to tell you how I filter MY mail.
The rebuttal to your whole point IS that it is my business, and mine alone, how I set my email filters.
That's all there is to it....it really doesn't matter how inconvenient it may make things for you, me, or anybody else.



kc692 -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/15/2006 8:02:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

you are not trying to debate a valid issue here

I get that. Really. Totally. And it's a valid complaint.



please read my response to arpig in post 77 and also my last response to you in post 92 taking note of what this debate is "not" about. i have already addressed all the points you have mentioned in this post. i also added one more statement below about what this debate is not in case it is not obvious.

This debate is not about restricting your freedom to choose.

respectfully,
r1






Yes it is.....it's a debate about restricting our freedom to choose what we share openly about our email filter and what we don't.....because that is our choice and our freedom also, which you would have restricted....



Real0ne -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/15/2006 9:50:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692


quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

you are not trying to debate a valid issue here

I get that. Really. Totally. And it's a valid complaint.



please read my response to arpig in post 77 and also my last response to you in post 92 taking note of what this debate is "not" about. i have already addressed all the points you have mentioned in this post. i also added one more statement below about what this debate is not in case it is not obvious.

This debate is not about restricting your freedom to choose.

respectfully,
r1






Yes it is.....it's a debate about restricting our freedom to choose what we share openly about our email filter and what we don't.....because that is our choice and our freedom also, which you would have restricted....


Ok good point, let me clarify it.


This debate is not about restricting your freedom to choose how you set your mail controls.



BitaTruble -> RE: Many Emails Never Get Read!!!! Here is why! (2/15/2006 10:04:36 PM)

quote:

This debate is about "ALL" the preferences being displayed on the profile.



Hypotheticals because I don't set my mail to send to bulk.

Today, I want to weed out anyone who's over 50. All those emails go to my bulk mail and no one knows it and I'm not telling them, because tomorrow I may think 50 looks pretty damn good, so I skip over to my bulk and start reading those emails. Rather than discourage them by telling them to just go away in my profile, I want to keep the options open for myself. If I took to long and they've been snatched up, my bad. I took the risk and paid the price for my delay.

Today I want to weed out anyone not local to my area, but I don't want them to know because there's a rumor going on that my company may be moving pretty soon and I want to keep my options open. Sure enough, my company moves, I'm transferred to a new state and voila, I have bulk mail to skip over to and see if there's anyone writing from the new area. If I took to long and they've been snatched up, my bad. I took the risk and paid the price for my delay.

Today I want to weed out men, but I don't want them to know because I'm just starting to explore my bisexual side with woman and it may turn out that it's not for me. Sure enough, women pretty much suck, I'm going back to guys. Skip over.. yadda, yadda.

The debate is 'all' about preferences. Your contention is that you didn't get any valid arguments as to 'why' they shouldn't be displayed.

Well, there's one for you. It's about someone keeping their options open and you want to take that away so lifes a bit easier on you. R1, speaking only for myself as a sadist, I'd just as soon make it hurt as much as possible. :)

Carry on. ::skips back to watch the rerun of Project Runway::

Celeste














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