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RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/26/2009 7:45:59 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Ok I'm a little cofused here, as to what you are putting forth--I mean phone sex operators and Phone Dominants have known this trick for years.
 
quote:

she must somehow hear that i am offering her an oasis, a portal to the submissive gardens she seeks to serve in.. a path to pleasure and symbiotic mutual enlightenment..



what kind of oasis would that be?
 
quote:

i had to quickly establish a dominant role in order to act as an effective advocate and to reach a state of understanding and common purpose. i found that the natural rich tones of my baritone could be modulated to calm and reassure them of my competence, confidence and strength.


ok so role playing, but what can you bring to the table on a phone part time basis, I mean how supportive can you really be? I'm sure the Mrs doesn't want some crying sub calling at 3 in the morning for counselling.
 
quote:

and yes, my voice leads as all dominants must.
Leads to what?



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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to bearly2001)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/26/2009 8:00:34 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Wow, that was fascinating to me if only because of the vast focus you seem to place on this. For me, it is really a lot simpler. My control over my wife is predicated on the fact that I'm being a good leader for her. That's pretty much the end of the story. You mentioned it when you said "start with honesty and integriy". Still though, it was fascinating to read the just plain enjoyment that you have in the word. Speech must be a rich landscape to you.


Jeff, he isn't the only one.  Don't tell me you have never lowered your voice as a ploy to get people to have to lean in and listen, or used it in some other way to show something more or to emphasis what was in your words.

It sure as hell works for me, I am VERY aware of my tone of voice and the effect it has on someone.  I can't say I have ever made someone cum with my voice alone but I have probably made their knees weak but lowering it and slowing it down just an octave.  Its no different than using my hand, I can use it to be hard and rough or as soft as a butterfly. 

There are other things you can do with your voice that I don't even want to talk about there but if I had to choose between using my voice to seduce someone or my hands, it would be a touch choice. 

It is SO sad I cancelled that Sadist Hawkins party, I think you would have gotten a lot of out watching me and a few others play. 

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/26/2009 8:20:11 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		With people, offspring and animals.......the voice is a powerful tool.

I think it is easiest with grown people. A dog in hot pursuit of a rabbit, heading for a busy street, more difficult but doable. A thousand pound, somewhat frightened horse, less so. Yet many of us do it all the time. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to bearly2001)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/26/2009 8:33:10 AM   
bearly2001


Posts: 28
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		@exsteelagain

your assumptions are actually incorrect and could be seen as pretty snarky, lol! but, since we dont know each other, i will address your comments with civility and assume that your condescending tone is a genuine attempt to portray your belief that that i have used my voice for self aggrandizement and/or to supplement a supposed lack of actual authority. i grant that your dismissive tone and less than welcoming sarcasm are your prerogative, but to me, seem to bespeak a propensity to make brash assumptions, not reasoned opinion. but, i again acknowledge that i don't know you or fully understand your motivations.

i will attempt to address your curiosity. my choice to be an online-only dom arose out of my circumstances and ethical views, not any inability to effectively interact face to face. i began on my quest for meaningful online d/s relationships as an adjunct to my married life, not as some ego driven need to compensate for r/w timidity, lol, or for surreptitious forays into tawdry online affairs.

i have been happily married to my beloved wife for 37 years, thanks in part to our mutual ability and commitment to communication. as a result, i expressed to my very vanilla lover, that i wished to embark on this cyber journey with her full knowledge and acceptance. i am not going to pretend she fully understands, or that she is too crazy about my online liaisons. she has expressed her views and concerns, but she ultimately respects the fact that i am a man whose word is unquestioned. i told her that i would never go outside of our marriage into the r/w. i can also state that i have never, nor would i ever go behind her back or attempt to deceive her about my activities here, or in the r/w. she knows my love for her is unquestioned and that my commitment to her is unwavering. so unlike your stated assumption, i don't HAVE to do what i do with the spoken and written word, i CHOOSE to.

your further commentary regarding the nature of my work as an advocate is also flawed by false assumptions. i represented the chronically ill and disabled both in legal matters and the concomitant social and psychological issues that arise with chronic illness. among many other activities as an advocate, i successfully represented well over a 1000 claimants in their battles with social security disability and supplemental security income benefits. while you are right, i am not an attorney, BUT i was the legal representative for my clients. i filed an SSA 1696, appointment of representative, for each client and was legally responsible as their official legal representative. as legal representative, i dwas also entitled to fees for my representation identical to that of an attorny, however our program was a free program and we waived all fees. i was proud to be a part of a nationally recognized and virtually unique program for the disabled. i did not possess an illusion of authority, i had the legally recognized and sanctioned authority of our government and legal system.

finally, i must just smile and shake my head at your insinuation that the purpose of my initial post was merely to entice curious women to call me. i do not seek your or others' approbation of my online activities or motivation , just a honest attempt at understanding. i hope you will read my words with the same view.



please note that any capitalization was not for shouting, but for emphasis only

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/26/2009 8:55:38 AM   
bearly2001


Posts: 28
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		@catdemedici

hopefully i can clear up your confusion, lol. i will just make a few comments regarding each line of your text.

1. first, i rarely use the phone. i also must bow to your knowledge of the skills of phone sex operators and phone dominants, lol. i have no experience, real or virtual with thoes folks, nor do i know what "trick" you refer to.

2. he oasis i refer to is that mental place i hope to lead my submissives, that place of sustenance and succor, where thirsts are slaked.

3. your quote from my post about my use of my voice in my dominant role as an advocate does not refer to any type of role playing. like you, i now am confused, lol. i was mentioning how i developed my understanding of the dom voice through my profession. i don't offer advocacy services to any submissives. as to 3am phone calls from crying subs, see #1. and as to how supportive i can be, contact me and i can give you references.

4. i am surprised you express confusion as to my belief that all dominants must lead. you ask: "leads to what?" i answer: hopefully to understanding and enlightenment, and to the places we all seek to go within the minds and hearts of our submissives

cat.. i hope i have lessened your confusion

(in reply to bearly2001)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/26/2009 9:21:03 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		LOL, I might not call him .....but what he says makes a lot of sense.

It's not the be all and end all to be flesh on flesh: Not everyone wants or needs that.

People derive a lot of genuine help and support from *online friends/doms/ whatever*... and many other things that we often hear about in this forum.

agirl

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/26/2009 1:56:27 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Bearly2001, I didn’t mean to get you into such a lengthy rebuttal and I don’t have time to address each of your concerns.

I did point out that you were not a lawyer as you said, yet you used your voice and phone skills to help your disabled clients. That part seemed to bother you to the point where you noted you could have gotten fees for some of the work you did. Not a problem for me if you did.

However, you obviously learned that phone skills in the lack of real authority were important exactly as you implied in your original post…yes?

I, also, asked the normal question about you being a phone only Dom and the lack of actually meeting the submissive.

Lastly, if this post was not an attempt to get women to call you, my bad. I understand that you are happy with your 37 year marriage and now understand you and hope women don’t mistake your posts as a request to call you.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to bearly2001)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/30/2009 1:19:15 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I first discovered the power of the voice when I developed My "teacher voice" fairly early on in My career. I became used to it working in the classroom, but one time I was on a bus full of adults. The driver was exhorting people standing to "move down the back" with absolutely no success, though there were more people trying to board. Without thinking, I said "Move down the bus please" in My teacher voice ... and everyone obediently shuffled down! What was even funnier was the looks that dawned on some faces "Why did I just obey that chit of a girl??" The driver was very grateful! Suffice to say, it's a very useful Dominant voice too ... but i have to be so careful not to use it on Master!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/30/2009 5:52:58 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		What drives me absolutely batshit crazy are the people that think LOUDER makes them more dominant. That somehow people will give their words more creedence. All I want to do is get as far away from them as fast as possible. If that isn't doable, then I want to hurt them........A LOT!!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/30/2009 6:03:04 AM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		The TDHO doesn't really have a special "Dom voice". It's pretty much, He speaks: (not loudly mind you, He's not a shouter) i "do". His unaffected voice has the ability to instill whatever He desires, because in the end, it's more about the actual words, and the motives behind them, than His voice.


i have had some in the past with the Dom voice, and it worked...but in my old age, i am much less wont to need anything "extra" to motivate me.





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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/30/2009 7:49:53 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I've been thinking more about this topic since it was first posted.  A sub/slave may use their voice in many ways.  There is the "business" voice - reporting back on a task they have completed, or perhaps listing the things they need to finish it.  There is the pure submissive voice of the "Yes, Sir" or "Is there anything you need?".  There may be times for the lusty voice, a time for the humorous voice, and perhaps times when a soothing voice is needed.  If anything, I would say that it is trickier for the slave to make sure that they use the correct voice at the appropriate times.  Showing frustration from the bottom tends to come across very differently than from the top.  Perhaps the trickiest of all is learning when it is best to use no voice at all.


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/30/2009 8:58:02 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		 
This is useful in all aspects of life, not just BDSM. 
 
The authoritative voice can be utilized when appropriate whether one is dominant or submissive, or not involved in BDSM at all! 
I use it well and often outside my relationships, and there have been a few times I felt it was necessary to use it with both R. and S,;, particularly for their health or safety. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to bearly2001)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/30/2009 9:13:41 PM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline
quote:

To me, words are magic
wrote chamberqueen

and

leadership527 wrote:

Speech must be a rich landscape to you. "

Both quotes together are working for me beautifully. Coming from a family where language and speech skills are tools of the trade and all family members are absolutely crazy about wonderful composed sentences (which is great, as long as you are not 5 years old, do not like to have or hear conversation early in the morning and sitting with them at the breakfast table), i am the same.

The whole concept of communication is fascinating for me. As a musican the sound of everything is of very great importance. I am sure, i never had sex with somebody whose voice were not enticing and i even have no friends who talk in a wrong (meaning bad air mangement) way. That sound maybe elitist, but it is not, i can not help me.

About the men and women i loved and/or found sexually attractive i could write books, Certain timbres really drive me crazy. I know i can do very interesting things with my voice and i love it.

In s/m i can not imagine really having fun without speaking or hearing somebody speaking, especially when things are going edgy. But the times of silence are also great, because the concentration is thrown back onto yourself.

< Message edited by ZenDragoness -- 5/30/2009 9:14:07 PM >

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aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/30/2009 10:29:30 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		ZenDragoness, I often equate words well chosen with music.  I feel the same way when I sit down to play a piece written hundreds of years ago and yet the beauty still speaks to all who listen.  I feel that too many take communication for granted.  Getting your true meaning across can be much more difficult than one might think.  (Since I often need to write for those with English as a second language I have had to learn to be even more careful with my words.  What one culture may easily understand may come across quite differently to another.)

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/31/2009 9:01:52 AM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline 		Oh chamberqueen,

your post is so chord striking for me, that i am lost for words. Too many take communication for granted and even more take bad communication as status quo. And do you feel like me, that there is a lot of music that can be used as an universal communication tool?

Universal meaning worldwide,,,ok maybe..but that would be another topic.

That very little cultural differences are most interesting, you should assume that the East and West Germans, who speak the same language and once were one country could easily understand each other. To the contrary, because even 20 years after the wall broke down, there are misunderstandings. And i noticed the same in the s/m lifestyle, the codes for behaviour and language in Berlin are really not the same than say in a very catholic part of Germany.

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/31/2009 10:03:15 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I read once that each relationship (and they were speaking mostly of families) develops a certain language of their own.  There are key words and phrases that they know and accept as part of their own vocabulary that outsiders don't get the meaning of.  I have also found that in companies or organizations, and it is as true here as anywhere else.  However, words as simple as "gurl" can be confusing - to a Master it can mean "my precious baby girl" while to an outsider it can mean "transvestite".  Every few months someone posts here asking the difference between a sub and a slave, or what poly means, because the words have their own meanings within a relationship.

The posters which are most misunderstood are those who believe that they have made themselves clear but have not.  I know it is aggravating when you feel like no one understands you, but sometimes I wish I could sit down with the OPs, hold their hands and tell them to catch their breath, and have them start again.  It is understandable that people feel the need to hold some details back in order to protect the privacy of others involved, but it would be nice if they could lay a clear and concise foundation when asking for help.

As a Domme I felt that my words held much more power over my subs than my leather strap ever did.  I was reaching inside of them and getting them to reveal truths to themselves that they had never dared to before.  It was like casting a spell over them.  When I chose to explore my submissive side I waited for the man who could do the same to me.  If I would not have felt that "magic" - the combination of caring enough to look under the surface and then using the right words to draw me out - I could never have become a slave.

< Message edited by chamberqueen -- 5/31/2009 10:04:12 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/31/2009 11:08:20 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I have a domly voice that I use very well in person or text and it has nothing to do with being a male... but yeah... I get it... and it is wonderful! 


Hi Lockit.  i wondered who the first Domme would be to catch that reference to maleness & Dom voices.  ~smiles~ 

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/31/2009 11:12:38 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
Normally Sir is calm and quiet, and sometimes very funny.  But if it becomes necessary for some reason, or if i am in trouble, He gets a noticeably firmer voice which is accompanied by that look straight into my eyes.  i call that His Domly voice.  When He uses it, i just want to melt.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/31/2009 11:27:10 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I have a domly voice that I use very well in person or text and it has nothing to do with being a male... but yeah... I get it... and it is wonderful! 


Hi Lockit.  i wondered who the first Domme would be to catch that reference to maleness & Dom voices.  ~smiles~ 


LOL... everyone has a voice.  It is very romantic to think of a dominant and their amazing voice and it is true, many have a wonderful voice... but so do submissive's.  As parents, spouses, employer's, employee's... there is always a place for the magic one can create with a voice!  It's a tool with emotion that can rock someones world or ease them into something or cause lightening to flow through them... and so much more!

But it can also be so bad you just want somebody to shut up... so with that in mind... I will stop... have a great day! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: the dom "voice" and its use - 5/31/2009 11:52:57 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		lmao  You are so cool.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 40
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