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Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 12:28:25 PM

oceanwinds

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Entering into BDSM at a later age, many things confused me but one did not, perhaps because i lived that way anyways. As a submissive, i am like a representative to my Dom. My way of expressing myself reflects on him. Maybe a lot of people dont see it this way, but i do and works for me. Sir mentioned early to me in our relationship that a s-type reflect how well the Dom taught them.

Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom, and why or why not?

oceanwynds

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I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 12:32:16 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Yes. I have even changed my opinion of a dominant based upon the s-type. For the better and the worse.

The reasons why are varied.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to oceanwinds)

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 12:35:03 PM

Fitznicely

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Yes, absolutely. That's the philosophy I subscribe to. Interesting to see the replies to this one. I've not seen much evidence of this in the small circle I move in.

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 12:35:46 PM

Lockit

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I can only say... sometimes. It depends on many things.

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 12:39:11 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom, and why or why not?

oceanwynds

Yes, I do, in the same way that I see the behaviors of any subordinate individual in any way of life as being reflective of the culture in which xhe works or is under management. If a subordinate individual is -not- a reflection of the dominant force in hir life, then what is xhe suborning hirself too?

If someone claims to be yielding to me, I would expect that hir actions would reflect my expectations of hir, both in and out of my presence.

I also have to clarify that, for me, this question is the fundamental difference of bottom vs. servant. A bottom is hir own person, and hir actions have no reflection on the tops that xhe interacts with. Xhe keeps hir own life, and retains autonomy aside from the period of a scene. A -servant-, to me, moves into that realm where, to a greater or lesser extent, xhe becomes a reflection of hir status as a 'kept individual'. The fact that xhe was chosen to be kept, and the rituals and expressions that mark hir as having been claimed by hir keeper present the picture of someone who willingly subsumes hir own spot as the 'sun' in hir own universe to a place where xhe becomes a 'moon', reflecting the image of the house or keeper whom xhe serves.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 5/26/2009 1:00:17 PM >

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(in reply to oceanwinds)

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 12:51:05 PM

junecleaver

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It doesn't have much to do with D/s and more to do with that whole...birds of a feather thing. It might change my perception slightly, but not that much unless I was interested in some sort of relationship.

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(in reply to oceanwinds)

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 12:53:22 PM

agirl

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No.......I'm the person he chose to own ..The fact that we're together, happy and compatable after years and years says that we share a pretty similar outlook. We BOTH *reflect* the obvious fact that we are content with each other and how each of us behave. It's a two way thing.

agirl

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 1:05:40 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
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From: St George Utah
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I do.... wether society does or not.

Anything andi does is a reflection of the house I choose to keep.

Because of this, it is important to me that andi never get involved in hen pecking or shallow judgemental conversations such as who is sleeping with who and who looks like a whore and who they were seen with last. I have zero tolerance for that and will make it clear that I don't tolerate it by removing myself and my ward from the activities.

However that being said my slave is free to speak her mind as long as remaining respectful of her tone and demeanor, if you do not like something my slave has said in about 100% of the cases it is your problem and could care less what you think about how she should carry herself. However when she does something that is whimsical and it happens at the wrong time it is inveriably my fault and I treat it as such informing her of the issue and helping her to understand why it was a mis-step.

Prime example I have a LARGE vocabulary (Regardless of if I know how to spell all the words I still know them) and has a smaller vocabulary and at times uses the wrong word, to which she sometimes gets laughed at. This is my job and requirement to keep this from happeneing again we will discuss later and away from everyone what the word means and how it is used. And why adding "ly" or "ing" to words is not always correct and becomes a made up word...... andi is fond of made up words.

I took responsibility for my girl, because of this it is my responsibility to teach her how I expect her to carry herself in public. If she mis-steps it is not a punishable issue it just means I need to work on that part of her education as it pertains to how I wish her to behave.

Steel

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(in reply to agirl)

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 1:12:09 PM

leadership527

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I think that pretty much everything around me is a reflection of me... my clothes, my house, my car, my job, my friends, and yes, my wife. How could it be any other way? These things, collectively, are the life I have built for better or worse. That being said, I don't know that an s-type is any more or less of a reflection than any other equally intimate partner.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 1:21:32 PM

lovingpet

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I should hope to be reflecting something greater than myself. I also tend to not like to make a negative display of myself because I respect myself more than that. It becomes a difficulty when I am faced with a difficult or ackward situation and the only thing I can manage to do is talk too much, laugh incessantly, and behave childishly. I realize I look like an ass and yet don't really know what else to do as my nerves take over and I seem driven by the wrong set of forces. Fortunately, I have those who know how to reign it all back in when the time suits them and does not hold my nerves against me. I just hate how I act prior to this and we are still working on how to deal with those times so as not to embarrass myself and them.

I am very cautious of tongue and action in most of my life, regardless of who I might be representing at the time. I represent myself ALL the time and plan to do so well. I believe I represent my partners ALL the time as well, so I would hope the care I take in my own affairs would speak highly of them as well. I also believe this to be true in other aspects of my life as well. I think if you are doing your best to be who and what you are honestly and as considerately as possible, there should be little issue with a dominant being disappointed in that, provided you have a good match.

lovingpet

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 1:52:42 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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In so far as the dom chooses who he doms, yes, the sub is a reflection of the dom - as is the dom a reflection of the sub.

In a vanilla setting, what the sub does reflects less on the dom, and more on the sub his/herself ,as in , deportment and conversation

In a bdsm setting i am much more likely to look to my Sir for cues for appropriate behaviour - he is more experienced in that field than i. However, i am not a dummy - i learn fast what is appropriate, and what to be careful of. Of course, i would never show my butt (metaphorically speaking ) in public. If Sir said or did something i thought was beyond the pale, i would wait until we were alone before intiating a discussion. Just common courtesy.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:10:51 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

Just stopping in inbetween thunderstorms to read other's opinions on this. I find it very interesting how different perspectives are seen on this topic.

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:12:25 PM

BoiJen

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Joined: 3/7/2007
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I don't subscribe to this philosophy in a strict sense. MsKitty didn't raise this boi. And as with any healthy relationship, the D-type didn't raise their s-type. Teaching within the relationship means nothing if the individual doesn't have a firm foundation. And given that we've all had at least one failed relationship for one reason or another, we should all know that sometimes people aren't who they present themselves to be.

As for my sometimes poor behavior and assholishness....I'd rather be honest about who I am to everyone around me than to lie, get caught in it, and disgrace MsKitty in that manner. MsKitty knew up front that I'm abrasive and not afraid to wrong....more importantly, I'm not afraid to be right even if politics dictate otherwise. (aka Fuck being politically correct). I decided at an early age that I an who I am and I will not be shamed of that nor will I lie about that to anyone. These decisions have nothing at all to do with the Owner. Not one thing. Nor do these decisions reflect why She's choosen me to be Her boi. She gets parts of me that no one else gets and that's what makes my relationship with Her different from my relationship with other people. And honestly, if the outside world can't understand that....there's something wrong with them...not me.

I do acknowledge that if someone is consistently mean or nasty to others without showing an ability to discern between who they should have an attitude with, that's indicative of a bigger problem. AND, before anybody's who has had their feelings hurt by me says something, those who actually know me happen to know me to be a person of intergrity, honesty, and honor. Where I come from, that counts for a lot more than kissing ass and making people feel better.

Just sayin....

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
and trying to figure out why my spell check failed

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:13:58 PM

BoiJen

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Joined: 3/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

Just stopping in inbetween thunderstorms to read other's opinions on this. I find it very interesting how different perspectives are seen on this topic.

This fuckin rain sucks...I know we need it but geez! I had to replace the computer the other day because my hard drive was fried. I hate driving in this mess. Be safe.

boi
back to the regularly scheduled reading

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

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Post #: 14

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:14:27 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

Prime example I have a LARGE vocabulary (Regardless of if I know how to spell all the words I still know them) and has a smaller vocabulary and at times uses the wrong word, to which she sometimes gets laughed at. This is my job and requirement to keep this from happeneing again we will discuss later and away from everyone what the word means and how it is used. And why adding "ly" or "ing" to words is not always correct and becomes a made up word...... andi is fond of made up words.

I bet she does appreciate that. Because of some physical problems as a child I had a few learning disabilites. Late hubby helped me with my vocabulary and Sir has been helping me as well. Especially when i get nervous, my mind goes blank and words just dont form right. With late hubby's help i was eventually able to travel and lecture.

< Message edited by oceanwinds -- 5/26/2009 2:15:20 PM >

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:16:45 PM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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Those things that we hold closest to us are a reflection of us. A partner: of course.
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 5/26/2009 2:49:23 PM >

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(in reply to oceanwinds)

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:18:12 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Not at all. The fact is you could be the greastest submisive around and he could be the worst Dominant in town. All kinds of combinations there.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to oceanwinds)

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:19:28 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

I should hope to be reflecting something greater than myself. I also tend to not like to make a negative display of myself because I respect myself more than that. It becomes a difficulty when I am faced with a difficult or ackward situation and the only thing I can manage to do is talk too much, laugh incessantly, and behave childishly. I realize I look like an ass and yet don't really know what else to do as my nerves take over and I seem driven by the wrong set of forces. Fortunately, I have those who know how to reign it all back in when the time suits them and does not hold my nerves against me. I just hate how I act prior to this and we are still working on how to deal with those times so as not to embarrass myself and them

The part i highlighted in red is how i feel about myself. There is always something greater then myself, and i try to walk an honorable path with that.

The rest i been known to do and never been punished but been helped to learn how to control that part of me. Still there, but i do keep it in check for myself more then not.

Thanks for sharing lovingpet:)

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:22:25 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

Just stopping in inbetween thunderstorms to read other's opinions on this. I find it very interesting how different perspectives are seen on this topic.

This fuckin rain sucks...I know we need it but geez! I had to replace the computer the other day because my hard drive was fried. I hate driving in this mess. Be safe.

boi
back to the regularly scheduled reading

OMG, i went through that a year ago. It destroyed my motherboard. But hey i love thunder so i'm not complaining, plus i love my new laptop:)

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:25:17 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

BoiJen, yes i am pretty much who i am on this board and off. way before i met Sir i lived by a code for myself, which was a plus in my marriage. Sir likes this code so i guess it suits him too.:)

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 20

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