IronBear
Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
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I lifted this from a private site of mine in MSN Groups. It is part of a short address I wrote for a conference for psychologists and counsellors some time ago. It may have some value here as much of the problems we seek to help with are communication based.
Grumblings & Grizzlings
from
The Hibernation Cave
Communications
It seems that society generally is filled with talkers rather than listeners. Many are very opinionated and thus biased against any who are not of their beliefs. Many more can’t wait to give their opinion, which is good if done at the appropriate time and not in an overbearing way. I’ve sit at restaurants and in other places and listened to some ex military men making very loud, rude and derogatory comments about Asians and especially Vietnamese. It is both embarrassing to those around and distressing. Sadly these people teach by example another generation who may follow in these footsteps without thinking for themselves.
Why do we communicate? To pass on information which may have asked for or that the communicator believes is important. To express our feelings and to elicit information. Sometimes we talk just to hear our own voice. (Better to talk to your self than to a fool).
The commencement of good communications is listening. Those who excel in communicating also excel in listening. This is taught to Counsellors, and I know that over 75% of counselling sessions I have with clients are me listening even to the silence. This way we can understand what our talker is really saying and by asking a couple of questions we can gain a greater understanding of what the person is really trying to say. Remember there are three segments of what is being said: What the person thinks they are saying. What the person actually says. What you understand them to have said. One screw up in any one of these areas can result in an almighty “Cluster F…k”.
These are just my views but I think they may be of some value to some.. I’d like to leave you with my favourite poem….
quote:
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on; nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
(The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam)
I’d hope that some of you remember when you are about to get on the soapbox and “Have my say”, that your opinions are sacrosanct and are valuable to you. Yet their value to others is only as much value as others place on them. Over stated opinions may destroy any chance of people taking them seriously. They may cause great distress and hurt or generate anger if uttered without thought. Speak your mind by all means but do so in a manner, which is not threatening, or offensive and pick your time to state them.
(That bloody Grizzly is writing a book again)
~ Ambles off to catch salmon and allow others talk ~
"It's all in the game and how you play it........................"
_____________________________
Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
http://www.bruincottage.org
Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
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