Termyn8or -> RE: Fasting (9/3/2011 2:38:46 AM)
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"I'm not afraid of dying, and actually welcome the idea as a healthy transformation away from the material world." Same here, and I am actually curious. But my family doesn't see it that way. I can't go before my Mother, that would be VERY wrong, and then I have one sister, and as much as I did call her my sinister and how we are about certain things, once Ma goes, if I ain't there she will literally fall apart. I only live for the living. and only two of them. Myself, I am not afraid, nor even skeptical, I want to KNOW FOR SURE what happens next. And if it is nothing, so be it. My life, my gamble. I could just say fuck them anytime, like many many others have done to me, whether willing or not. You see, by the time I was 35 I knew more dead people than alive, and still do. My really best friends are dead, and most of them have been dead for over ten years. I lost ALOT of people a long time ago, way before it was my time to do so. It changed me. I make no pretense about meeting them in some afterlife or anything like that, but there has been a void in the world for decades for me. Not eating, not seeking medical attention, not doing things for my own safety, it is all part of the same thing. I do not care if I live or die. What's left of my family can accept my death I think, as long as it's not by my own hand. Something else, for a time I used to wake up around ten, go to work until five and get home at about six thirty, and during that whole time I had not drank one molecule of water or any other beverage at all. Liquid is harder to stop than solid. But I did without. I did it just because, and I am glad I did. Most people don't understand what self deprivation can do for a person, and probably never will. T^T ETA, the list of names would take some time to read, but then what about some short bios ? Days. These people had lives. They belonged alive, run over, fell off roofs, shit like this. MY PEOPLE. How many does it take ? Of course I am fucking nuts, what did you expect ? T^T
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