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RE: Sissy maids? - 6/3/2009 12:34:06 PM   
pinnipedster


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I think you can look at it this way: the ultra-feminized, frilly, subservient "sissy maid" is an exaggeration of feminine stereotypes, and yes, in a way, it is demeaning.    But I think the fact that a person so dressed wants to serve a Woman demonstrates that they don't think *all* women should play that role.  Often, in fact, I think it is seen as a bit of "payback" for the centuries of women being forced into the role of a decorative piece of chattel.  Of course, the male sub need not be feminized to play that role, but it's one way of approach.

I look at it this way: a "real woman" would probably find it somewhat humiliating to be dressed in all the frills and petticoats, forced to walk mincingly and curtsey every ten seconds, etc -- at least if made to do so in public.  So why wouldn't a male sub, even one who had a strong feminine side?

In my own idealized, cross-gendered, D/s relationship, I would play several roles to my Mistress.  Most of the time she would treat me the same way she would treat a real female sub -- with reasonable expectations for clothing and grooming (appropriate to the occasion, modified to her taste and what suits my body type).  Occasionally, though, we would do some role-playing that might put me into some rather stereotyped feminine parts -- the "damsel in distress" or captive princess, the slutty bimbo, the bawdy tavern wench, the innocent maiden ripe for ravishing, the Barbie doll, perhaps the sweet little girl (a non-sexual role), the puppy and/or ponygirl, the robot or living sex toy -- and yes, perhaps occasionally the sissy maid (though I have never liked the word "sissy").   It's certainly not because I think women should be like that, any more than the fact that I find pictures of women in bondage extremely appealing means that I think all women should be bound (or that they secretly want to be bound).  It just means that *I* like and covet that role.  Does that come partly from weirdly conditioned beliefs about appropriate gender roles?  Maybe; I don't really know.  All I can say is that my *conscious* belief is that everyone should have the opportunity to pursue the role and lifestyle and career they want, regardless of gender, race, creed, sexual preference, country of origin, hair color, height, weight, or shoe size -- provided they aren't depriving others of their own rights -- except, of course, those of us who willingly surrender certain rights to certain individuals. :)

Oh, and there should be lots of bondage.  I should be bound frequently, and sometimes gagged, blindfolded, and/or plugged.  That doesn't have anything to do with sissy maids, but it's true regardless. ;)

< Message edited by pinnipedster -- 6/3/2009 12:35:14 PM >

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/2/2009 7:43:31 PM   
Jaded2005


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To each, their own.

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 6:11:17 AM   
iwearpanties


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wow it seems that most and any talk of sissies , cds,  panty bois and   sissy maids . at Collar  me always seem to be so negative and looked down at .. there are mnay of us who dont seek to shame the any Mistress or female  and i bet more then most these type of  fetishes loves will be more respectful them most .

Yes i know mnay who dress and like too dress do GO Way Over Board on the heavy make up and overly sized boobs too . so i know that dose get little out-a- hand .....

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 7:05:21 AM   
ThoughtfulSwitch


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This is true. I believe on the one hand it sounds negative, because it's a popular method for humiliating men. So crossdressing maybe remains as some kind of ridiculous behaviour in our mind - or is simply not understood because we wouldn't do this. My girl i.e. doesn't really get the point of rubber fetish, because she's not into it. With cd it could be the same. People don't like it, because they don't need it themselves.

Another important fact could be that, honestly, most men look really "strange" i most clothes turning them on. I don't want to affront anybody with this. But the point is that we men indeed look ridiculous (including me in first place) in women's clothing. Arousal may hide this truth from a crossdresser, but people, who are not into this fetish, will unconsiously value it in a less positive way than it could be.

So most people sure don't mean it negative, but it wouldn't turn them on and so do they react.
I need to confess that I have my personal problems with the crossdressing-fetish (with exclusions of course), but it's mainly because of some people being not aware of how they look like and how they make the life of transgendered and intersexual people much more difficult. To me it is completeley different, if a transgendered person is crossdressing, because they have another attitude to it. So I conclude it's more a negative feeling based on personal experiences than on crossdressing itself.
By the way: If you like, we can discuss this out via private message; it could be a gain for both of us. But I don't want to fill this community with too much private stuff.

All in all I don't know how members without this background think about this unconsicous valuing negative, but I guess it's mainly because this topic is difficult to handle.

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 8:53:38 AM   
AlexandraLynch


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I've no problem with a transgendered submissive, even one who must present male to hold hir job down and only permits hirself to be female when in a "safe space". Because then it's dealing with another woman, not dealing with a sissy. I have a deep dislike of sissiness, and it seems that most men want that when they crossdress, so no. Not interested. 

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 5:49:24 PM   
penitentialarts


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I see nothing disrespectful in it at all.  In fact, I think the "disrespectful to women" phrase is thrown about far too lightly, watering down the impact of those things that actually ARE disrespectful.

Some people like to pretend to be teachers in play.  Some like to pretend to be cops.  It's just fantasy, and usually those fantasies are caricatures of the realities of those jobs.  I am a librarian, and I still have "naughty librarian" fantasies, even though they don't match up with the realities of the job.

When it comes to the gender issue, I hardly see how it is disrespectful at all.  The "sissy" approach to gender play is just another fantasy, and harmless. 

To be honest, I tend to be attracted to people who have the experience of living as one gender but who feel as if they are another.  Ultimately, though, the whole "sissy maid" thing is just a fantasy (and a fun one), and may not even indicate transsexuality.

I have never dominated a "sissy xxxxx," but I am currently in negotations with a "sissy slut," and am thoroughly enjoying it.

- Jesse

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 5:59:05 PM   
islandgyrl


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Let's just call it what it is; discrimination. My fetish is better than your fetish. I don't understand your fetish so it must be wrong,etc.
It surprises me that even within an alternative communtiy that many are closed-minded. I guess some things will never change.
 
Aloha,
Island
 
 

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 6:59:06 PM   
Reigna


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quote:

ORIGINAL: islandgyrl
Let's just call it what it is; discrimination. My fetish is better than your fetish. I don't understand your fetish so it must be wrong,etc.
It surprises me that even within an alternative communtiy that many are closed-minded. I guess some things will never change.


The idea that YKINOK has been around forever and is here to stay, unfortunately. I've been around long enough so that I expect it, and--gulp--I recognize it in myself from time to time. Of course, my kinks really are OK, and yours really are not.

Beyond that, though, the yuck factor about feminization is largely due to the way people are brought up. Female persons who display a touch of boyishness are kind of cute. But male persons had damned well better be manly--and god forbid they should be women!

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 7:59:49 PM   
PeonForHer


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Female persons who display a touch of boyishness are kind of cute. But male persons had damned well better be manly--and god forbid they should be women!

. . . . And they want males to be manly from a very young age, apparently.  I read once about an experiment done with mothers of male and female toddlers.  The mothers were happy to dress the girls in boyish ways, but not to dress the boys in girlish ways.  Toy bricks, tools and even guns (for some) were fine for the girls, but no mother wanted her boy to play with dolls.  This was quite a recent experiment, too . . . .

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 8:04:36 PM   
AlexandraLynch


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Though I will say that from experience...

when my um's, both male, were given dolls, they pointed the feet at their brother and said "BANG!"

So, um....yeah. They didn't want dolls. They wanted things that were weapons or made noise. I'm all for equality, and non-gendered parenting, but...


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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 8:15:08 PM   
PeonForHer


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when my um's, both male, were given dolls, they pointed the feet at their brother and said "BANG!"
 
Superb. *Cackle*. 

Likewise, a friend of mine ruthlessly kept her young son away from toy guns from birth onwards.  At age four, his uncle gave him a gun on his birthday before my friend could cross the floor to stop him.  She said he knew exactly what to do with it on sight.  Uncanny . . .

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 8:16:10 PM   
porcelaine


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i don't know a lot about this as it was something that has zero appeal to me in the past. however, i find that i've changed my mind about it and have begun speaking to people that are seeking/discovering/revealing their inner woman and i feel that's good! i liken it to the same process of discovery we all undergo when our fetishes come to the surface.

i can understand the discomfort/disgust some might feel about the over the top antics but i think that has more to do with the person and less to do with the fact they're dressed in drag. however, it may also serve as an opportunity to let their head down. a sense of freedom that may be lacking elsewhere that can only be expressed when they dress up. there's another thing to keep in mind, we all have things that we jump into with eagerness and we're excited. you'll see the same things playing out for fetishes, careers, etc. people are generally excited when they find something they enjoy and will demonstrate it in a variety of ways.

porcelaine


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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 9:27:32 PM   
Reigna


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer...
I read once about an experiment done with mothers of male and female toddlers.  The mothers were happy to dress the girls in boyish ways, but not to dress the boys in girlish ways.  Toy bricks, tools and even guns (for some) were fine for the girls, but no mother wanted her boy to play with dolls.  This was quite a recent experiment, too . . .


Plus ca change.

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 9:32:16 PM   
LotusSong


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I realize some here are into this, but I'm not, and I have a question for everyone.

Whenever I see a man dressed in drag, especially something really outrageous, while he proclaims in his profile that he is a 'sissy maid', it gets my back up. Am I the only one who finds it disrespectful to women? To me, these men are saying that they think women act like this, dress like this, and act completely air-headish like this (no offense to the smart boys). Not only can I not take them seriously when they're showing off their new nightie with their hairy beast legs sticking out from under the lace, but as a woman who has cleaned houses for a living and enjoys cleaning my own house from time to time, I feel like they're portraying women as brainless twits. (and don't get me started on the ones who want to prance around in hose and nothing else while they push dirt around and ask "Will you punish me while I dust?")

Disclaimer - this is my own opinion, and I'm asking the question to find out if I'm the only one bothered by this. If you're into it, I don't really care, and if you're on the forum, you're most likely not one of those men who prance around in hose and generally act stupid.


My feelings exactly.


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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/3/2009 10:40:08 PM   
DaintyDemure


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In our relationship, the word sissy is not used as it has a humiliating ring to it and my owners don't like that. I am expected to portray myself as soft, sweet, pretty, and feminine at all times and I am praised for acting this way. It is about removing any masculine traits in me because that is their desire. Master Monica says males feel powerful because they are 1. male  2. adult and 3. human. So all three of these are controlled in me by making me wear dresses and other girls clothes during the day when serving and cleaning and by ensuring I can only crawl in the evenings and at night (fist mitts and tack booties) like a dog or baby. I also wear diapers at times and use baby bottles. They really enjoy the psychological aspect of controlling me and at times its pretty intense. And it works. 

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/25/2009 1:09:30 PM   
MandyMopp


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i am sorry to see that there are no "sissy" maids standing up for our kind.

i have lived with a Lady for almost two years (some 25 years ago) who was delighted to find i am a submissive, a transvestite and a reasonable cook/housekeeper. She had me move in, when i left the military on condition i obeyed. It was that simple.

Obviously we had had a relationship before this happened and she was happy for me to be her part time gurl friday but when i accepted her offer she renamed me with a feminine name and had me dress as if i were a woman in order to work for her. There was no sissy maid uniform, just an overall and pinny for daily work and for formally serving her table a simple black skirt and blouse, regular clothing befitting a girl of my age is what i wore when off duty.

There was no hint of disrespect for Her or Her gender, and i feel in general no demeaning of me, my gender or my desires to dress as a woman.

Of course role play occurred, humiliations, outings etc. but i believe that that was part of the D/s relationship as it suited both my Mistress and of course myself.

i detest the e-term "sissy" as it applies to transvestites of any bent. i prefer to think of myself as a submissive transvestite who enjoys serving accepting Ladies. Disrespect for those i adore is the farthest thing from my mind and i am horrified, though not closed to the possibility, to think that my simple pleasures may cause others to think that i may be motivated by disrespect or indeed anything sinister.

Comments above likening "sissy" maiding to rubberism or indeed any other "perversion" are pertinent because in condemning an activity because one has no interest in or understanding of it is (in my opinion) as narrow minded as our Victorian antecedents in outlawing homosexuality. A bit harsh perhaps but i am sure the intelligent among you will see my logic, you may not aggree with it but at least you will recognise it.

If you have no interest in "sissy" maids per se then by all means take no interest in us, but please, as we do for you, allow us our "perversion" to enjoy with those who do have an interest in us.

mandy mopp
Lady's maid

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/26/2009 2:49:28 AM   
slavemick63


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I am a sissygurl and I love housework.But I am very submissive to all Women.I believe in a female led society and to me Women our Goddesses to be served and worshipped.

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/27/2009 12:05:09 PM   
sissydoris


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I am a sissy, my Mistress ensures I dress as she requires, when she requires.

One thing that people havent said, is that ladies in general are more thoughtful and better than males.
When a man is asked a question, he thinks of the answer and uses his brain, if he has one. When a lady answers, she uses her heart.
I do not look female, those who want to look female can be transvestites, I am a cross dresser and my Mistress enjoys me looking like a cock in a frock.
I enjoy serving ladies, at times I think I would like to have a cunt, but I dont want to be one.


My fetish is to serve with no reserve. I have had over 40 years learning this and I am still learning.

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/28/2009 3:05:38 AM   
Gennaka


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I feel as though they are just being themselves as we all should be ,and their  intent is not to make fun of women .My perception of it has been quite the opposite ,I feel as though they admire women so much that they not only want to dress like us ,but wish to serve us as well .
With that said, I do respect your opnion ,and maybe this may have been the case with your particular experiences ,however I think if this is ever the case it is the extreme minority.Your post was very entertaining.

< Message edited by Gennaka -- 7/28/2009 3:19:23 AM >

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RE: Sissy maids? - 7/28/2009 7:57:00 AM   
SolangeRichards


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gennaka

I feel as though they are just being themselves as we all should be ,and their  intent is not to make fun of women .My perception of it has been quite the opposite ,I feel as though they admire women so much that they not only want to dress like us ,but wish to serve us as well .




What a lovely way to see it....

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