Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 12:44:55 PM   
Delphinus


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Can you imagine the people that desperately want to divorce each other and cannot due to the fiscal/financial aspects?


Honestly, that is an excuse or lack of knowledge of what is available.  The "fiscal/financial aspects" are only going to be a big deal when there is going to be a great deal of disagreement, and it will cost an arm and a leg.  If people are really "desperate" to divorce, then they will work out a reasonable settlement and get it done.


I think maybe when people stay together because of their financial situation, it has less to do with the cost of the divorce itself and more to do with the cost of living separately.  (My own divorce cost $150.)  My financial aspects were daunting, but I prefer to be broke and happy than unbroke and unhappy.  And believe me, I'm broke.  (And believe me I'm happy.)  But if I were any more broke?  I might have thought it a huge financial mistake. 


_____________________________

"Silly bitch."

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 12:55:39 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Delphinus

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Can you imagine the people that desperately want to divorce each other and cannot due to the fiscal/financial aspects?


Honestly, that is an excuse or lack of knowledge of what is available.  The "fiscal/financial aspects" are only going to be a big deal when there is going to be a great deal of disagreement, and it will cost an arm and a leg.  If people are really "desperate" to divorce, then they will work out a reasonable settlement and get it done.


I think maybe when people stay together because of their financial situation, it has less to do with the cost of the divorce itself and more to do with the cost of living separately.  (My own divorce cost $150.)  My financial aspects were daunting, but I prefer to be broke and happy than unbroke and unhappy.  And believe me, I'm broke.  (And believe me I'm happy.)  But if I were any more broke?  I might have thought it a huge financial mistake. 



If I had married someone with money things may be differentt. He cant support me and currently I am unemployed. Housing is not cheap in decent areas. So yes many dont get legally divorced. But I have been seperated for 4 years and I suppose I am lucky that we have seperate apartements. I suppose in the back of my mind when we bought this place with a kitchenette studio in the basement it was in the back of my mind.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Delphinus)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 12:58:16 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Mine went well and we never fought because we both wanted out so we could move on with our lives. We split everything up, he went his way and I went mine. Whats the since in arguing as it just causes more stress for everyone involved, particularly the children.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 1:08:08 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Delphinus,

I know how maintaining a residence on only one salary can be daunting.  As a single parent, I have to maintain a residence for TWO.  People who are less well off financially tend to think more like you do, be broke and alone, but happier.  It is the smarter way to go.

I don't think that was what winterlight was referring to.  As I mentioned before, I've worked in Family Law for a dozen or so years, and have often heard people talk about the "finacial devastation" that a divorce would cause.  When pressed for why they think that is the case, the answers are usually based on a lack of knowledge or that a bitter fight would occur.  The majority of attorneys are not looking to work a simple divorce for all the money they can get.  It isn't worth the work, honestly.  They can make more doing a bunch of "simple" divorces than they can with a median income couple battling over the dogs and china.

I'm not saying that attorneys like that don't exist, of course they do.  But people seem to not realize that the attorney works for them and they are in control.  It's like the other thread with the poor guy who is investigating amputating his arm.  He has gathered all the facts of his situation and made a decision that doesn't agree with what the doctor wants, but it is still a viable decision based on what he has learned. 

People need to look at their divorce attorneys in the same manner.  If they tell you something you can't do something or something won't work, and you don't understand why, then ask.  Sometimes they will tell you it is because of the costs involved in fighting for what you want, sometimes it is because they are worried about how the judge will view them in the future.  The former is good advice, the latter an ethics violation.  The key to the whole thing is realizing you aren't likely to get EVERYTHING you want and knowing what is important to have and what's not.  Prioritizing your wants makes things easier.

The financial worriers have either been given a lot of false information by others (typically the case) or they just make assumptions.  I have had people call me with questions worrying about things like abandonment when they separate and move out.  In NJ, while it is grounds FOR divorce, we are a no fault state.  That means you could walk in on your spouse having sex with 3 other people while a fourth films it and it doesn't change what you will get in the divorce financially.

Same thing with alimoney.  Alimoney is becoming a thing of the past, and it really should in most cases.  In NJ, alimoney is rarely even considered in marriages less than 7 years, and reconstructive alimony is typically ordered first.  But still men think they are going to get killed on alimony payments.  Mostly they complain about child support payments and it's sickening to watch.

Education BEFORE you go to a lawyer is the best thing to do.  Obviously, you didn't even use an attorney if you only paid $150 and it worked for you.  The information needed about divorce in every state is available on line.  If a doctor tells you that you have a chronic disease you research and learn, before you buy a car, you look up information on it.  I don't understand why people don't do that and rely solely on what an attorney says.  If you don't like the first, consult with another.  It's really not that difficult.

(in reply to Delphinus)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 1:19:33 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

If I had married someone with money things may be differentt. He cant support me and currently I am unemployed. Housing is not cheap in decent areas. So yes many dont get legally divorced. But I have been seperated for 4 years and I suppose I am lucky that we have seperate apartements. I suppose in the back of my mind when we bought this place with a kitchenette studio in the basement it was in the back of my mind.


I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert in the laws of your state.  I'm not.  But I will tell you this...you are currently unemployed which means you worked during the marriage.  So the court wouldn't require him to support you, nor should you expect it.  With the internet, you could get all the information for a divorce and create the paperwork yourself.  Being separated for 4 years, it is a reasonable assumption that the marital property has been divided already, simplifying the divorce.  If there are children, every state has formulas and guidelines for child support.  Stick to the guidelines makes things easy because the court will only deviate from those in extreme cases.

Honestly, people rarely refuse to get divorced because they can't afford housing on their own in a decent area.  It may be the reason they state, but it's never the real reason, whether the person wants to admit it or not.  I'm sorry if you don't agree, but I'm not basing my statements or opinions on just MY divorce or my friends.  I'm basing it on having worked in the field for a significant period of time and what I have seen in hundreds of cases.  Some have been horror stories and the battle was necessary, but most times the battles were the result of unresolved anger.  When the people thought it was "unaffordable", but then got the proper information, they found that really wasn't an issue.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 1:30:02 PM   
Delphinus


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


Education BEFORE you go to a lawyer is the best thing to do.  Obviously, you didn't even use an attorney if you only paid $150 and it worked for you.  The information needed about divorce in every state is available on line.  If a doctor tells you that you have a chronic disease you research and learn, before you buy a car, you look up information on it.  I don't understand why people don't do that and rely solely on what an attorney says.  If you don't like the first, consult with another.  It's really not that difficult.


True - we had very little assets outside of the house.  If we actually had something to debate possession of, I'm sure at the very least the mediator would have had to work a little harder and possibly there would have been an attorney, if for no other reason than to just be sure we were doing everything "right." 

Whether or not it was what Winterlight was referring to, and with a nod to you for your experience, that indeed is not what I was referring to.  There are many, I'm sure, that anticipate a long and expensive divorce proceeding when it really may not be the case.  What I am referring to, though, is in fact those people for whom post-divorces finances are scary.  I think we're just talking about two different sets of worries. 


_____________________________

"Silly bitch."

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 1:34:47 PM   
Delphinus


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

If I had married someone with money things may be differentt. He cant support me and currently I am unemployed. Housing is not cheap in decent areas. So yes many dont get legally divorced. But I have been seperated for 4 years and I suppose I am lucky that we have seperate apartements. I suppose in the back of my mind when we bought this place with a kitchenette studio in the basement it was in the back of my mind.


I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert in the laws of your state.  I'm not.  But I will tell you this...you are currently unemployed which means you worked during the marriage.  So the court wouldn't require him to support you, nor should you expect it.  With the internet, you could get all the information for a divorce and create the paperwork yourself.  Being separated for 4 years, it is a reasonable assumption that the marital property has been divided already, simplifying the divorce.  If there are children, every state has formulas and guidelines for child support.  Stick to the guidelines makes things easy because the court will only deviate from those in extreme cases.

Honestly, people rarely refuse to get divorced because they can't afford housing on their own in a decent area.  It may be the reason they state, but it's never the real reason, whether the person wants to admit it or not.  I'm sorry if you don't agree, but I'm not basing my statements or opinions on just MY divorce or my friends.  I'm basing it on having worked in the field for a significant period of time and what I have seen in hundreds of cases.  Some have been horror stories and the battle was necessary, but most times the battles were the result of unresolved anger.  When the people thought it was "unaffordable", but then got the proper information, they found that really wasn't an issue.


LOL - and now I'm going to sound like I'm contradicting myself, but I'm not.  (I don't think.)  I agree with you.  I think most people, who believe that living separately will be impossible for them, actually can do it.  It's a matter of figuring out how to do it and what sacrifices might need to be made. 

But regardless of whether you or I see it that way, they don't, and so to them, it is a daunting thing.  They will hopefully get to that place in time.  (I know two women going through this - I have even offered to one to declare bankruptcy and come live with me to get on her feet - and she still said no.  So yes - I see how finances can be used as a "reason" to stay when maybe, it's just fear in general.)


_____________________________

"Silly bitch."

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 1:35:27 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		I think you are right there.  It comes down to fearing the beast you know and the beast you don't.  I have seen many cases where one person just couldn't handle the idea of being on their own.  To me that is sadder than the divorce.  There was one case where a couple was actually fighting over a bottle of Sambuca (swear it's a true story).  This wasn't a case I worked on thank God.  I wouldn't have been able to resist buying another bottle and telling them both to get a freaking grip.  But common sense tells you they weren't really fighting over a bottle of booze.

Fear of being alone is a big thing for a lot of people.  I was dating someone on and off for about 13 years.  I finally got tired of all the times he just couldn't be there for me (once I was stranded in the ER, and instead of coming to get me he fell asleep).  Yet when I told a friend I finally ended it, she thought we should get back together because having him there "some of the time, was better than being alone all of the time."  My answer to that was "no it really isn't."  But I see people do that all the time.

ETA:  That is exactly it, it's the fear that makes people suffer from inertia.  People will come with all kinds of reasons why they can't.  Some of the people who have done this like knowing that they are still married, because it "protects" them from being able to commit to another relationship (yea, they are real prizes).  I personally know someone who has been separated from her husband for more about 10 years, and they never even TALK about filing for divorce.  There's no bitterness, they won't be getting back together, all marital property is split and the kids are grown and on their own.  It just isn't something she really feels a need to do.  I have suggested that it is important for estate purposes (her spouse even though they are separated will get 1/3 of her estate, regardless of what she puts in her will), debt purposes (although I think they finally did the necessary things to separate that).  The funny thing is that in NJ there is no such thing as legal separation, so while they are "separated", it means nothing.  But at the same time you can file papers agreeing that you will be living separated and each be responsible for all debts and such moving forward, effectively legally separating.  It's one of the most bizarre things for matrimonial law in NJ in my opinion because it doesn't exist and it does exist.

< Message edited by LafayetteLady -- 5/31/2009 1:42:08 PM >

(in reply to Delphinus)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 1:56:00 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

If I had married someone with money things may be differentt. He cant support me and currently I am unemployed. Housing is not cheap in decent areas. So yes many dont get legally divorced. But I have been seperated for 4 years and I suppose I am lucky that we have seperate apartements. I suppose in the back of my mind when we bought this place with a kitchenette studio in the basement it was in the back of my mind.


I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert in the laws of your state.  I'm not.  But I will tell you this...you are currently unemployed which means you worked during the marriage.  So the court wouldn't require him to support you, nor should you expect it.  With the internet, you could get all the information for a divorce and create the paperwork yourself.  Being separated for 4 years, it is a reasonable assumption that the marital property has been divided already, simplifying the divorce.  If there are children, every state has formulas and guidelines for child support.  Stick to the guidelines makes things easy because the court will only deviate from those in extreme cases.

Honestly, people rarely refuse to get divorced because they can't afford housing on their own in a decent area.  It may be the reason they state, but it's never the real reason, whether the person wants to admit it or not.  I'm sorry if you don't agree, but I'm not basing my statements or opinions on just MY divorce or my friends.  I'm basing it on having worked in the field for a significant period of time and what I have seen in hundreds of cases.  Some have been horror stories and the battle was necessary, but most times the battles were the result of unresolved anger.  When the people thought it was "unaffordable", but then got the proper information, they found that really wasn't an issue.

First you say I would not get support although I am unemployed and then you say inability to afford housing is not the reason?
Well if you can explain to me how to live outside of this free studio, go for it.

I suppose because I am sperated and have my own space it isnt as bad as it would be for others. I suppose we can also get a divorce and still remain in this building but then we would have to deal with all of the debt and leins on the property. Status quo sounds better, so I suppose you are right there.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 2:36:13 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

First you say I would not get support although I am unemployed and then you say inability to afford housing is not the reason?
Well if you can explain to me how to live outside of this free studio, go for it.


Being unemployed is not grounds for support.  Unemployment is considered a temporary condition.  Spousal support is not for temporary conditions.  Now if you didn't work through your whole marriage, but instead were raising the children and taking care of the house and such, that is grounds for support.  Even then, depending on the length of the marriage and your age, reconstruction support would be the first thing looked at.  In that case, you would receive support while you learned a skill that would make you employable.  Unemployement doesn't last forever.  Why would you think that your husband should be supporting you during this time (as you are separated or if you were divorced)?  He isn't responsible for your loss of employment.  If you are disabled, and that is the reason for your not working, then you aren't unemployed, you are disabled.  Even then, if you were not disabled before this "separation" he isn't responsible for supporting you.

You say the studio is "free", but also mention that there is debt and leins on the property.  So I will just have to assume that he is currently paying those debts because you are unemployed.  Keep in mind that if at some time in the future, a divorce is sought, he could get credit for the payments of the marital debt that you have not contributed to when distribution of property comes into the mix.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
I suppose because I am sperated and have my own space it isnt as bad as it would be for others. I suppose we can also get a divorce and still remain in this building but then we would have to deal with all of the debt and leins on the property. Status quo sounds better, so I suppose you are right there.


As mentioned above, the debts on the property still exist now.  The leins would come out of a sale of the property unless they were somehow paid before.  I really don't mean to insult you, but not taking care of the debts and leins really have nothing to do with getting a divorce.  At some point, those issues will have to be dealt with regardless of whether or not you remain legally married.   It sounds as though the two of you don't have a completely destroyed relationship (in the sense of living under the same roof, albeit different "homes"), so logically the two of you should talk about how you can resolve the debt and leins for the benefit of both your futures. 

You say "we bought" so by law the debt and leins are as much your responsibility as his.  Certainly, I have no idea how the debt and leins came to be, and they could be all yours or all his fault.  But unless one of you proves that, it will be considered "marital debt" and you will be held responsible together.  If your state is a community property state, you will be held equally responsible.  If your state is an "equitable distribution" state, then the responsibility will be divided in whatever way the court deems "equitable and just."  That is a very broad definition, but typically it comes down to the earning capacity of each during the course of the marriage, the contributions each made to the marriage and various other things.  The issue of who will retain custody of the children (which doesn't sound to be relevant in your situation) will play into that decision as well.

The point is where you are living isn't "free."  The debt will increase or he is paying it.  If it increasing, some time down the road, you both will suffer the consequences of the debt and leins whether it be through death, divorce or foreclosure.  If he is paying it, this "free" apartment of yours will likely need to be "paid" for by you down the road in the case of a divorce.

I realize that when we are unemployed, we have to think in the "now" not the future.  But there are no "free rides" in life, and your saying your apartment is "free" is likely to bite you in the butt down the road.  Yes, I am a woman and I do not think that spousal support should apply in 95% of the cases.  Women are the ones typically seeking spousal support and I don't see a reason why they shouldn't learn to be self supporting.  Spousal support is awarded less and less.  Women sought equal rights and got many of them.  Thinking that being married to someone means they should support you when the marriage ends as opposed to working like the rest of the world is taking two steps back.


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 3:25:20 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		No, I am not seeking spousal support. i understand it is not free. Some bills are getting paid and some from a failed business (that his name is also on though he never participated) is in mine. The mortgage is in his name. I realize that debt will increase and bankruptsy and foreclosure is a future posibility. I worked part time through out our marraige while raising a child. So the law allows for me to get the difference in what i paid historically. Living sperately would create a great hardship and since I have my own apartment it is doable. Especially for the well being of the um

I have never expected a free ride nor has he been able to ever support me on his salary, so you definately misunderstand where i am coming from. But where we are now is a heck of alot better than rasing my kid in a 500 to 600 hundred dollar studio that i could afford myself. We have 3 apartments here with one renter one the top floor. We have a front and backyard and a vegetable garden. I have my own place but acess to upstairs where my son is and a great upstairs neighbor.I alsohave the best of all worlds as I can be living a love life and social life as I do not have an every other week set up. So we are all flexible for each other and live in a building of cooperativeness. I even take care of my renters pets when she is gone. I also am able to be in a neighborhood with great schools for my son. I think the trade off is understandable. Now if I was not in my own space, i would be the first to get my own place but the legalities of the final divorce mean little to me because the mental and emotional break ended so long ago. We will always put our son first though.

Iam trying to get back on my feet in this ecomomy. It will happen eventually but is slower than I epected.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 5/31/2009 3:26:07 PM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 3:36:18 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		One more thing to add LadyLafyette. I have lived in a way that works out way better for him then me living with my son elsewhere. So i have been more than generous and he knows it. I was always an eqaul partner in everything espcially since he could barely wipe his hiney by himself and i stil have to deal with all things legal. He hasnt even paid his taxes in 4 years because i stopped doing his portion and he hasnt  put a stamp on a bill since he was 30. So the picture you have of me is inaccurate. But I do not wish to create a hardship for him and the child support and my share to leave our property would do that.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 4:59:08 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

One more thing to add LadyLafyette. I have lived in a way that works out way better for him then me living with my son elsewhere. So i have been more than generous and he knows it. I was always an eqaul partner in everything espcially since he could barely wipe his hiney by himself and i stil have to deal with all things legal. He hasnt even paid his taxes in 4 years because i stopped doing his portion and he hasnt  put a stamp on a bill since he was 30. So the picture you have of me is inaccurate. But I do not wish to create a hardship for him and the child support and my share to leave our property would do that.


luscious, you have misunderstood what I'm saying entirely.  You made a choice that is working for you and that is great.  I'm not saying that what you are doing is wrong in the least.  Hell, my ex husband (divorced more than 12 years ago) recently suggested that we share a place together to make life more affordable.  If he was willing to move to my area, I would have given it serious consideration.  He thought we should move to his area though and that will not happen (by the way, he could have transferred within his current job to this area).  I believe that when people are able to get along and do what's right for their kids, that is the best thing.

Yes, this economy sucks.  Work is difficult to find and those wonderful people who suggest that you (general "you") go work at a supermarket or Walmart until something better comes along are out of touch.  I tried that at one time, and they didn't want to hire me because they knew based on my education and job history that I would be gone the second a better offer came in.  If your kids are young, you don't make enough to pay the day care while working the crappy job.  I know it's tough. 

My point was that it isn't the financial aspects of the divorce and splitting the marital stuff that is causing you difficulties.  Once you are back on a job, I'm willing to bet that you will start thinking about moving forward not long after.  Everyone does what is best for them, but most have this idea about the cost of the divorce that just isn't based on fact.  As I have said, I know plenty of people who have been separated for years and don't even think about divorce.  With you, as with them, I suggest that in the meantime they do the necessary things to legally sever financial obligations so there are less problems later.  Some listen, some don't.  Some get lucky and don't have the problems later, others, well....

You are lucky that you are able to have the situation you do and that it is working.  I have been referring to those who are miserable but don't do anything and say it is because of the financial nightmare when they really don't have anything.  I have a friend who was married for just over a year (young and made really bad choice), and was worried about alimony, adultery and her taking half of his stuff.  Why?  Because people told him that it could happen.  These people were completely clueless but scared the hell out of him.  Honestly, all of the things he was worried about are totally impossible in his case.  But that is where people get their information.  Typically from another who had a bad experience and so they think it will be the same for everyone.

I wish you all the best.  I hope you are able to find a job soon.  I have a friend who has made a lucrative part time career by dumpster diving and selling the stuff on Craig's List.  Another who has made extra money selling her old stuff at flea markets.  Personally I recently sold some of my old gold for a tidy sum.  None of these things are a career of course, but they can make you a little extra cash to help you get by.  Good luck and stay hopeful on that career front.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 7:00:47 PM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		My divorce was a joyous occassion celebrated in at least two states.  My ex and I still communicate on a regular basis and consider each other friends.  It took four years of seperation for us to be able to afford the fees to get divorced but thats because we were both having some serious financial issues at the time that were unrelated.  If I ended up in divorce this time, it would be neither happy nor cause for celebration.  I might even get my horse taken away.

_____________________________

What man is a man who does not make his world better?


Soldiers died for your right to be ungrateful.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? - 5/31/2009 10:11:25 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Aileen,

Some people can be mature about divorce and you seem to have the right attitude to the process. I wish you, the soon to be ex, your Sir and the small ones an easy transition and adjustment.

Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 55
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Is It Possible to Have a Happy Divorce? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141