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Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 5/31/2009 8:35:32 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Just a question id like feedback on.  Have You ever met subs from outside Collarme? And secondly if You have, how did they tell that You were Dominant?  i suppose what im really asking is when You go out on socials, do You dress in a manner to make it clear that Your Dominant or do you just dress casually to make it unclear. Do You like being mysterious at times or Are You the plain clear obvious Domme that no sub or man would have any doubt whatsoever about Your orientation
kevin
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 5/31/2009 8:19:00 PM   
flowerchicknz


Posts: 53
Joined: 4/23/2009
Status: offline 		I like to appear vanilla around strangers. And I switch, so I'm not to sure if I'm your demographic. I definitely like to keep both lifestyles separate with a air of mystery. I do like to dress up in fetishwear, but only with people I trust. And a lot of clothes are dual purpose, the only difference between a Dommes corset and subbies one is which end of the leash is pointing towards it.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 5/31/2009 11:15:15 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		yes, I've meet lots of people outside of collarme.com. Normally, I know because I'm told when introduced... or I figure it out from conversation, or I ask if I really want to know.

from my experience, there is no difference in how I treat someone based on being Dom/sub/switch (or however else they choose to label them selves). Just be respectful.

(in reply to flowerchicknz)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 5/31/2009 11:59:35 PM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

You dress in a manner to make it clear that Your Dominant or do you just dress casually to make it unclear.


***Dressing casually does NOT make it unclear.. and dressing HOW.....??to make it clear..?/
The fem DOM movie thing??..assumptions from dress are not always correct...

IF you mean at BDSM gatherings...it is again mannerisms and demeanor that tells most of it........
 
A DOMME friend of mine is always in camo...I am always ethnic..
another I know is in business suits..and another looks like a PTA mom...with red ponytails..

I have met subs outside of CM..yes...
One is a cafe last month a man who worked there...said
"Hay I bet you're DOM...
I said "Why?"
HE said
"cause when you come in here you take over and I remember one day you solved the problem about NO pumpkin pie and made a guy go to the store to get some"

adn I met 2 on a dating site.PLENTY of FISH by having little clues in my interests...

and a few times...at gatherings( not BDSM) I have said
"Maybe you need a good spanking"
and was called later or asked about it


It is usually fairly clear when a take charge woman is around..
watch her..listen...

GQ
 

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 6/1/2009 12:02:29 AM >

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 1:34:30 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I love wearing the fetish wear, but it's not the clothes.

It's something people just sense about Me.  It's especially true if I'm in top space, like I'm in now.  It draws males in for some reason.  It's just something that happens.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 6:27:17 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Just a question id like feedback on.  Have You ever met subs from outside Collarme? And secondly if You have, how did they tell that You were Dominant?  i suppose what im really asking is when You go out on socials, do You dress in a manner to make it clear that Your Dominant or do you just dress casually to make it unclear. Do You like being mysterious at times or Are You the plain clear obvious Domme that no sub or man would have any doubt whatsoever about Your orientation
kevin



I've met -most of the people that I've entered into authority-transfer relationships with outside of CM. I've met a couple of people from here, but most of our companions have been nurtured from offline encounters.

When I go to social events, including munches, I dress in what is normal/natural for me. I don't think that there is a specific way of dressing that says "dominant" unless you're looking for the leather bustier, stilettos, and a whip hanging off the hip -- but then again, that could just be -Catwoman-. I make sure that I am tidy and clean, and that my clothing is attractive and discrete. Aside from that, I don't make any special forays into appearing a certain way. I allow conversation and time to present the person that I am. I -am-, however, wearing a lot more Steampunk-oriented items -- which has only a little to do with my "orientation", as I am gravitating towards a Victorian-style life, and much more to do with the fact that I have two adult offspring who now create Steampunk accessories and Victoriandustrial clothing.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 6/1/2009 6:28:30 AM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 6:44:35 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I dress however I want, as it fits the activity, climate and location. Not in a costume. I was told I was a kinky dominant woman, before I knew what that meant. Aside from the fact that I have always been a kinky dominant woman!

It is my personality. Some people are drawn to it, others are annoyed or put off. It is who we are, not a costume.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 6:48:21 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		most of the dominant women I know could be wearing ratty track suits, covered in paint or oil splotches, and STILL project their dominant personalities because it is an innate part of the person they are.

Clothing has NOTHING to do with it.


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 6:51:58 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

most of the dominant women I know could be wearing ratty track suits, covered in paint or oil splotches, and STILL project their dominant personalities because it is an innate part of the person they are.

Clothing has NOTHING to do with it.




*nods*

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 6:55:32 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I met more people not form CM than from CM and if they were submissive, they could tell.

At munches I am not dressed in fetish wear as they tend to be in vanilla environments and I would consider it a bit strange to show up dressed the same way as I would be for a fetish party. At fetish parties I usually wear leather, I don't have a scarlet D on my clothing or my forehead, I also don't give a "secret domme handshake", anybody I encounter I usually talk to in the same way I would talk to others, just chat and be generally friendly, because somebody might be submissive doesn't mean he's "my" submissive and I would consider it rather rude to order the submissive of another dominant around.

Though there were a couple of funny or not so funny incidents at fetish parties, guys who assumed that because I was wearing boots they could take the liberty of kneeling down and worshipping my boots without the courtesy of asking first, or male dominants who tried to ask my partner for permission to play with me, assuming that "all females are submissive" - one of them pushed it a bit too far and tried to physically drag me off, I was forced to grab his thumb and twist it in the wrong direction to make him understand the error of his ways, by that time I was so freaking angry with his presumption and rudeness, that I tickled him under the chin while he was on his knees and said "My, don't you look cute kneeling?"




_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 6:57:26 AM   
kttqnp


Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline 		I do actual physical work for a living, with mostly men, and wear steel-toed work boots and jeans.  I'm in charge and I don't take any crap.  Maybe that's why they keep asking me to spank them.  

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 7:28:47 AM   
TwoNYCDommes


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
Have You ever met subs from outside Collarme?

Of course.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
And secondly if You have, how did they tell that You were Dominant? 

The only way to be sure is to have an actual conversation about it.  What "clues" might be exchanged to lead to such conversations vary. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
i suppose what im really asking is when You go out on socials, do You dress in a manner to make it clear that Your Dominant or do you just dress casually to make it unclear.

I'm not sure how one's manner of dress would indicate such.  What one perceives as dominant or submissive attire seems to vary quite a bit from person to person.  One sub male friend of mine had a habit of declaring from time to time that random women he saw were dominant, and when we looked into his reasons for this, we determined that it actually meant simply that he found them attractive, and thus wanted them to be dommes.  What another sub male friend considers to be the ultimate in dominant attire is basically what most secretaries are required to wear to work.  Your post suggests that you don't see casual attire as dominant, but I know others who feel the opposite--some who feel particularly submissive when required to dress in some certain way while the dominant expresses her freedom by wearing whatever she wants.  It varies too much for there to be any guidelines.
Out of curiosity, do you attempt to dress as submissive when you go out socially?  If so, what clothing do you choose for that purpose?

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
Do You like being mysterious at times or Are You the plain clear obvious Domme that no sub or man would have any doubt whatsoever about Your orientation

It's not about being deliberately mysterious or obvious.  The clues that might make one person think someone is dominant might mean something completely different in fact, and might be interpreted in yet another way by a third party.  For example, I recall someone describing how he used to always be drawn to bitchy vanilla women, because the way they acted made him suspect they might be dominant, but unfortunately did not really indicate that at all.

[edited to correct typos]

< Message edited by TwoNYCDommes -- 6/1/2009 7:33:18 AM >

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 7:42:45 AM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline 		I am myself...a Dominant Woman. I don't dress a specific way as to set me apart from  the crowd. More often than none, when I speak, that is when submissive men pick up on the "Me I am".  With that said, I am not dropping hints or whispering "BDSM" as I speak.  I merely socially interacting...

In private conversation is when I am asked...


_____________________________

...:: MsDDom ::...
... live Life honestly ...

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 8:33:58 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I'd be really offended if my co-workers were asking me to spank them, or otherwise hitting on me. Don't encourage lobodomslave to go that route - he was fired from his last job for behaving and talking inappropriately already.

I have met past boyfriends and dates in vanilla circumstances. Usually I don't dress in a way that indicates anything about my BDSM inclinations, but I brought it up around the third date. Some had already been interested, but hadn't had a chance to get into a kinky relationship, others were kinky already, others were vanilla but openminded. Since I'm a switch, they've been from the entire spectrum of BDSM-oriented roles (Top, bottom, switch, Dominant, and submissive). I haven't had anyone freak out over it or refuse to date me due to it.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 6/1/2009 8:37:30 AM >

(in reply to MsDDom)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 8:46:39 AM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

I'd be really offended if my co-workers were asking me to spank them, or otherwise hitting on me. Don't encourage lobodomslave to go that route - he was fired from his last job for behaving and talking inappropriately already.



...as you should be offended. If you are living the lifestyle 24/7, functioning in corporate america or in vanilla society is still a no "no brainer", IMO.  One should not feel they have to walk around w/ a badge stating "Into BDSM"...I still believe that there are subtle nuances for others to recognize.  A sub told me that is how he analyzes Dominant Women out in vanilla...he has his subtle acts that he hopes will catch the eye of a Dominant Woman.

No one is encouraging someone to do anything that will compromise common sense...at least I would hope they would not.


_____________________________

...:: MsDDom ::...
... live Life honestly ...

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 8:55:35 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		no i dont dress particularly submissively unless slacks and a shirt is submissive.  im liking this debate its fiery and passionate. i like heated debate
kevin

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 8:58:53 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I'm sorry MsD, I meant to direct that to kttqnp, who said that her co-workers ask her to spank them, since she wears work boots and acts tough.

(in reply to MsDDom)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 9:19:59 AM   
kttqnp


Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

I'm sorry MsD, I meant to direct that to kttqnp, who said that her co-workers ask her to spank them, since she wears work boots and acts tough.


My co-workers do not offend me at all; we get along just fine and everyone understands the spirit in which their remarks are intended.  We have a great deal of fun and that is how the "spanking" comments are offered.....

(in reply to Andalusite)
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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 9:24:28 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Fun is great for those of us who know where the boundaries are... Kevin has some issues in that regard.

I dress according to the occasion.  My clothing does not make me dominant.  If it did, wouldn't I stop being dominant when I was naked? 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme - 6/1/2009 9:37:15 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*ponders Francine nekkid*


:: THUD::


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 20
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