What do you wear to a first public meeting? (Full Version)

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kttqnp -> What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:25:50 AM)

This one has been bothering me for a long time.  Almost every prospective sub that I have met in public has made a comment to the effect that "you don't look like a dominant".  Most  of these meetings are for lunch.  I find that a lunch meeting is casual, quick, and no-pressure, as well as convenient for both parties.  Well, I work afternoons, and must usually leave directly afterwards, so I often just wear my work clothes.  That's jeans, a nice top, and work boots.  I'm clean but very casual.  And as I clearly state in my profile, that's the type of person and dominant that I am.  I'm not high-protocol, formal, or into lots of leather.

I guess I'm just puzzled about what these guys expect at 11:00 am at the local mall.  Should I be wearing a black mini-skirt, fishnets, stillettos and a low-cut top?  Is that what other dominant women wear to this type of first meeting?  Is there some type of uniform that I should have been issued, and I missed it? I know first impressions are important, but I also need to be true to myself.  I'd like to hear from other women how you usually dress in these circumstances and if you are getting similar reactions. 



immoral -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:32:10 AM)

any way you damn well please..after all  its up to you..( in my book  anyway)
clean  relaxed and friendly...am i  mad or is this meeting the peron  not an  image  of a person? i personally think its a very good  beginning,



GreedyTop -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:34:24 AM)

clean and comfy.  Those who say you dont look like a dominant are obviously wanting to meet the fantasy, not the person, IMO



MsDDom -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:37:14 AM)

quote:

clean and comfy


I agree...



colouredin -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:39:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

clean and comfy.


And ironed is always good too :)



DianeB269 -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:44:48 AM)

You're the Dominant, wear whatever you like...I wear something like I'm wearing  in my first profile photo...I only dress up in leather when doing a scene....

Diane



lusciouslips19 -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:45:42 AM)

A smile!!!!



kttqnp -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:53:04 AM)

I don't intend to change at all....I'm just wondering what others wear, and what kind of reactions you get.  Loving your responses so far, thank you everyone!



LaTigresse -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:56:46 AM)

Whatever I feel like wearing at the moment. 



GreedyTop -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 7:59:05 AM)

*ponders LaT in jodphurs, a jacket and a crop*

(oh yeah, and a top hat)



colouredin -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:00:49 AM)

To be honest I don't see what is wrong with what is in your photo, as someone has already said you turn up as you. I wouldnt want to meet someone who was putting on an act but then thats because I am not really keen on forming relationships with people who want to play roles, sure thats up to them but for me I form relationships with human beings, and thankfully have made some pretty ace ones. Some of the more dominant people I have met were in casual clothes, being themselves.

I cant remember what people wore generally unless ironically it was overly fet in a nilla environment (right pleb turned up at my house in black lace up jeans and boots, not that it was what he normally wore it was a special occasion apparently and caused more controversy than I wanted to deal with. Pointing out that I live with two sisters, two of my sisters friends, a younger brother who has a very young girlfriend and piles of young teenagers wandering around the house)

edit cos I say to be honest way too much



AlexandraLynch -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:01:54 AM)

Generally it is jeans, an appropriate shoe for the season, and a decent casual shirt appropriate to the climate. I'm a writer, I don't dress up.

(I suppose I could show up in full Victorian riding habit, but as I don't have anything but the crop and the boots at this point....)



MsDDom -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:04:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kttqnp

I don't intend to change at all....I'm just wondering what others wear, and what kind of reactions you get.  Loving your responses so far, thank you everyone!


one meeting (recent)...I wore something out my closet...I don't do fetish gear, so for me, it was a pair of heeled sandals, skirt, chamise, and jacket...  I was like a 6'2 Amazon! [:D]



PeonForHer -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:05:42 AM)

Just a passing thought: it might be best to avoid pink. 



kttqnp -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:08:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Just a passing thought: it might be best to avoid pink. 


If they can't deal with a mistress in pink, they are not for me, and it clearly means they have NOT read my profile.



LaTigresse -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:09:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Just a passing thought: it might be best to avoid pink. 


Why?!?!



DianeB269 -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:12:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Just a passing thought: it might be best to avoid pink. 


Why?????

Diane



LadyConstanze -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:19:32 AM)

Smart casual, if they expect me to wear fetish outfits, well, it's going to be a really short meeting.



MSGoodness -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:21:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDDom

quote:

clean and comfy


I agree...



Yes I agree with this too...Just be you!!!!



vield -> RE: What do you wear to a first public meeting? (6/1/2009 8:28:30 AM)

LOL, if you are going to a public group meeting with a dress up theme that might make a diference. For a personal meeting with someone who claims they wish to try to submit to you, it is YOUR option!

You also can suggest if it pleases you to have them wear anything specific that you feel will be appropriate for the place in which you are meeting.

Nobody has yet made any committments to dominate or submit with each other.

If the person has a deep fetish they would like you to fulfill such as "Please wear pink!", they certainly can ask. However you are the dominant meeting the potential sub, you can say No! as you wish.

My thought is the person has likely been spending too much time with their porn if the reality of a potential partner disappoints them. This really is insulting, too, so they have that obstacle to make up for before anything other than lunch can possibly take place.

My life needs honesty, mutual respect and deep trust in place before any sort of power exchange relationship beyond casual play can take place, no matter who is dominant or who is submissive.



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