RE: I don't Want To Be a Needy Domme

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RE: I don't Want To Be a Needy Domme - 6/8/2009 9:56:23 PM

MeaganBlake

Posts: 56
Joined: 1/8/2009
From: Central Ohio
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You need to communicate your expectations to him. Your boy is not a mind-reader. If you act like you don't care when he calls back, then he will think that you don't care when he calls back.

I learned this with my Josephine. One night I hung up the phone pouting because for the second night in a row, I had flirted with him, but he had not "taken the bait" and initiated phone sex with me. I had to re-think the situation, and realized that *I* am in charge, and if I want something, I have to take it. The next night, I came right out and told him I wanted sex, and we were both very happy that night.

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RE: I don't Want To Be a Needy Domme - 6/9/2009 3:59:33 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

For me, this is not an unreasonable request. I don't know your partner or his schedule so... Texting someone a 'I'm kind of busy. Let's talk later.' takes about five seconds. So for me it would be two separate issues...your insecurity and why I'm not returning your phone calls in a timely manner.

If I'm dominating someone, I want them to pick up the phone when I call. Of course, I don't call constantly. I'm not insecure. Just high maintenance. But I give the information out in the beginning so they know what they have signed up for. ;)

Yes it can and texting someone at work can get you fired in under 5 seconds if you have the right boss. If my Mistress can't understand that I am working and can't always call her right back, then there is a problem.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

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RE: I don't Want To Be a Needy Domme - 6/9/2009 5:08:38 AM

WarKirby

Posts: 71
Joined: 11/22/2008
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While this is certainly true, it's also worth noting that the relationship in question here seems to be a mummy/boy dynamic. So perhaps domineering is what works best here.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

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RE: I don't Want To Be a Needy Domme - 6/10/2009 5:09:39 AM

serverbob

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/5/2009
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My perspective on this is a little different than that of others I have seen here. I offer it not as advice, but simply as the answer that would work for me. The dynamic of submission that "trips my trigger" is that of existing in a world that is defined by the woman I adore. It is all about following rules that she sets out for me, and making her the number one priority in my life. I thrive on opportunities to show my absolute obedience to her rules, above all other things.

The rules that she sets are not designed to be "fair" or to "make sense" to me, but to serve as opportunities for me to show my unfettered obedience to her. In this case, the answer is that it isn't about her being "understanding" about my inability to conform to her rules, but about my failure (whether my fault or not) to adhere. If you want your submissive to answer the phone when you call, there is no reason that you should be "understanding" about the fact that he does not. I would expect some sort of "correction" for non-compliance. Hopefully, that "correction" will not be overly severe, given that when I do not answer the telephone it is probably not willful disobedience, but circumstances that prohibit my compliance.

The result is that where possible, I answer the call. Where not possible (meeting, actively engaged in a project, etc.), I return the call as soon as I can and recognize that there will be consequences for my failure to act according to her wishes. Those consequences will assure that where possible, I will comply. In that way, her authority is confirmed and my submission to her is kept intact. The world she creates for me is kept whole.

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