RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (Full Version)

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NeedToUseYou -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/12/2006 5:51:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou

I've had rape fantasies, and they got me off. But the essential ingredient in those fantasies, is the woman started not wanting it and then couldn't help but get off and enjoyed it.



Ah yes, and my little girl fantasies were about being kidnapped to be raped because I was just so darn beautiful, but then (insert cool movie actor's name here) found he couldn't hurt me because he had fallen in love with me. Ah, innocence.

Then in real life I had the opposite, a guy who raped me because he said he loved me so much he just couldn't help himself.

It didn't make it "better."


I agree, that's why it's a fantasy, the whole point of my post. you neglected to quote the part of my post that said as much.

Here's the part of my sliced up post where I said that already
quote:


Whereas, I doubt real rape ever turns out that way. Because in fantasy land I already know the ending before it even starts. If reality was that way, well it wouldn't be bad either.

That why fantasy is good, because it always ends how you'd want it to end. It's real life that is more difficult to make work.



NeedToUseYou -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/12/2006 11:04:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

My post wasn't meant as a slam, NeedToUseYou. It was only to show how a female's "rape" fantasy could be the obverse of the male's. Your "making it all better" was that she enjoyed it. Mine "making it all better" was love. I had those fantasies, nightly, when I was fourteen. I couldn't have that fantasy with a straight face anymore.

** edited to remove an inappropriate lol


Hmmm, why since you were fourteen, is that because a rape fantasy that turns out well is a immature fantasy for a person to have, or is that when you had the bad experience?



Driver1961 -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/13/2006 4:36:08 AM)

Simply erotic literature on rape is generally sickening to me.

The depiction of rapes (generally)and violent behaviour by American Film-makers include eroticism. I can only think of two films otherwise, (Jane Fonda? in Patch of Blue? about indigenous american massacres and a film of 15 yrs ago with Jodie Foster? raped in a bar- supposed true story) that showed some of the emotional disgust that rape deserves. On the other hand, try European cinema- Rape is rape, disgusting, brutal and not erotic. This display of eroticism only disempowers victims of rape, confuses jurors, neighbours and generally desensitizes the general community to- "It's not as bad as they say!" Like Hello!!!

Both my Precious Ones are turned on fully with a 'fantasy rape' (Which I will enact) but it is consentual and undertaken with a loving Dominant's (Thankyou John Warren) awareness of their self growth and further exploration of the dynamic between U/us.

I am a literature Major and disagree that i see any joy in an author's eroticism of rape. A spade is a spade, why should we applaud others for their sorry manipulation of our minds to 'normalize' their contorted thoughts?

Dips lid to all,with a big smile................



Prunesquallor -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/13/2006 4:59:46 AM)

mist,

Just reading your account was traumatic - I just can't imagine what it would be really like to go through that. :(



mistoferin -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/13/2006 5:52:03 AM)

quote:

This display of eroticism only disempowers victims of rape, confuses jurors, neighbours and generally desensitizes the general community to- "It's not as bad as they say!" Like Hello!!!


Thank you for bringing up this fantastic and valid point. It not only detracts from the intensity and severity of rape, it also leads to victim blaming on the part of those whose only concept of the subject is the one they have derived from such literature and hinders the ability of victims to get good sound convictions and in many cases, even be taken seriously.



mistoferin -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/13/2006 6:09:21 AM)

quote:

Just reading your account was traumatic - I just can't imagine what it would be really like to go through that. :(


Well that was my point exactly, it does add a less erotic spin to the subject, does it not? I'm not looking to traumatize anyone with my words but I refuse to sugar coat them so they may be easier for some to assimilate either. That is the harsh reality of rape and it just amazes me that victims still have such an uphill battle today because of the misconceptions that some have of the subject...or because maybe the truth is just a bit too ugly and most don't really want to see that part of it. If THAT was the picture that people carried of rape then maybe we wouldn't still have COPS asking vicitms if they enjoyed it....and YES they DID ask!!! We wouldn't have jury members justifying letting offenders go because the victim was out late at night...or wearing a low cut shirt...or had been in a bar earlier...or... We wouldn't have husbands leave their wives after an attack because they couldn't deal with the fact that their wife had an "erotic" encounter with another man (as a counselor I saw this play out in real life numerous times).

I am not saying that I think that all fantasy rape erotica should be banned...what I am saying is that we should never confuse it with reality. One other thing that I would like to add...if you ask convicted rapists how and when they began fantasizing about raping....a very high number of them will tell you that the concept first came to them in the form of erotica....be it in written word or on film. Coincidence??? Personally I think not, but each person will have to decide that for themself.



phoenix1 -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/13/2006 6:45:32 AM)

hey bear... it used to be a favorite fantasy of mine until it really happened to me in real life. After that, I would never fantasy about it again. When it's actually happening to you, it's extraordinarily damaging in ways that a fantasy can't contain.

I guess it's "feeling" the damage happening to you and not just imagining it, that makes the difference.

I bet if you imagined your house burning to the ground, how that would feel and what you would do afterwards is not the same as if you are really standing there watching your house burn to the ground and afterwards, you are left standing in a huge pile of black ashes. And that's all there is. You and a huge pile of black ashes.



ModeratorOne -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/13/2006 11:15:59 AM)

Posts by MissToYou pulled by request.



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