What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (Full Version)

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bootlckr57 -> What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 8:34:07 PM)

What are you ladies turned on, turned off by ? I know this sounds kind of newbie, but what kind of relationship do you need ?

""The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?" - Sigmund Freud



bootlckr57 -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 8:46:08 PM)

What's with the ice cream cone ? I am not vanilla ! I adore strong women.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 8:53:09 PM)

It's all about how many posts you have made.  When I hit ten thousand posts, I will be "Insane".  :)



DarkSteven -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 8:59:46 PM)

Fella, you're not going to believe this but the fact that you even THINK about something like this puts you ahead of most of the guys who contact Dommes with "Mistress, I will <insert four random fetishes here> for you," and they have no connection with the woman's interests.

That said, it's no one size fits all.  Read the profiles of the ladies who post here and see what they like.  Ask yourself if that's something you would want to provide to make them happy.  If there are enough, contact them and offer those services they say they want.

And the idea that this is a RELATIONSHIP instead of a series of physical acts... you've got a good chance of connecting with a Domme.



WyldHrt -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 9:09:18 PM)

Try approaching the ones that interest you as people first (think vanilla dating strategy). I'm not a Domme, but a guy that comments on something specific in my profile gets bonus points; extra bonus points if he makes a witty comment that makes me laugh. 



Lockit -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 9:19:45 PM)

I think I state what I am looking for very well in my profile.  To try to put it here is a bit difficult.  I think your best bet is to read profiles.



GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 9:27:30 PM)

Honesty ,intelligence and politeness are attractive as well as strength of character..built by learning from life experiences..and looking at one's own process..

very attractive..[:)]
GQ



stella41b -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 9:29:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's all about how many posts you have made.  When I hit ten thousand posts, I will be "Insane".  :)


This is what I keep telling myself, despite what the people who know me in real time say.

But moving on to the subject of the thread, each and every domme is a woman, which is a good start, but they're also like the rest of us individuals in their own right.

Finding out from them themselves is probably your safest bet. Reading what is written in profiles is usually a good place to start.



littlesarbonn -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 9:34:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Try approaching the ones that interest you as people first (think vanilla dating strategy). I'm not a Domme, but a guy that comments on something specific in my profile gets bonus points; extra bonus points if he makes a witty comment that makes me laugh. 


(tries to get bonus points)

Um, I saw you mentioned that you have a degree in ecology and systematic biology. I, um, saw both of those listed in the academic catalog when I was looking for a major of my own, choosing Architecture because it was listed first. And I, too, have been accused of hugging trees. Although my situation is a bit different as the state now has that restraining order out on me now about the whole tree hugging thing. Stupid park rangers and their dislike of naked campers!



Tantriqu -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 9:34:42 PM)

Yup, start with vanilla: brains, social graces, physical grace, sense of humour, volunteers, common interests, interesting conversation, mentally healthy.
Then add the need to touch and be touched, the need to please, the desire to learn about Me, and the ability to ear-breathe: voil`a!



bootlckr57 -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 10:14:29 PM)

To everyone;
Thank you for your replies. I’m not trying to “put myself ahead” of anyone. I know everyone is different. I’m just trying to understand. I love women, strong ones especially. I’m not some frat boy trying to get some jollies by posting here. I’m seriously looking for a life partner. . I’ve been trying for my whole life to find someone special. I apologize if it didn’t come off sounding right.



bootlckr57 -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 10:26:40 PM)

By the way, I think Freud was wrong about a lot of things. I’ve never met a women who envied my body. The women I’ve had relationships with loved and pampered their bodies far more than a man would ever do. I’m trying to be G rated about it, but you know what I mean.



StoneFox -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/9/2009 10:33:54 PM)

I guess that depends on what you want. I see you're looking for a Domme who will also become your mate. That's a good goal.

For myself, things I find attractive in a sub tend to be more relaxed because I'm only seeking someone casually. But I can rattle off some of the top things I look for in a sub...
-They need to be between 25 and 35 ideally. Nobody old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my kid brother. Hard limit there.
-He should be asking himself what he can do for ME, not how can I fulfill his kinks.
-Enjoy pain and be a good sport.
-He needs to be willing and able to obey. Not flakey or difficult or coming with a whole laundry list of what he won't do. No brats, illmannered or otherwise please.
-A little bit of experience is a bonus. I don't have a ton of free time but when I do, it would be nice not to have to spend most of it on training.
-....and I guess last but not least, he needs to at least be reasonably attractive.

Hope that helps!



babyfaced -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/10/2009 2:09:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

Honesty ,intelligence and politeness are attractive as well as strength of character..built by learning from life experiences..and looking at one's own process..

very attractive..[:)]
GQ


So introspection and the desire to keep on growing are amongst the desirable traits in a guy?

I mean, isn't introspection and self-reflection the real difference between a mature adult and an overgrown teenager?

The most irksome people I have known were also the most self-ignorant.

EDITED TO ADD:

Unless an individual is aware of their flaws, how can they begin to resolve them?



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/10/2009 3:12:38 AM)

For myself, it's being treated simply as a lady, with as much gentleman energy as you can muster, and with information indicating you have read my profile, and find that our kinks/relationship desires largely overlap...
And, the man contacting me should consider himself submissive, and is enthusiastic/unapologetic about it.    M



VelvetCruelty -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/10/2009 3:20:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Fella, you're not going to believe this but the fact that you even THINK about something like this puts you ahead of most of the guys who contact Dommes with "Mistress, I will <insert four random fetishes here> for you," and they have no connection with the woman's interests.

That said, it's no one size fits all.  Read the profiles of the ladies who post here and see what they like.  Ask yourself if that's something you would want to provide to make them happy.  If there are enough, contact them and offer those services they say they want.

And the idea that this is a RELATIONSHIP instead of a series of physical acts... you've got a good chance of connecting with a Domme.




Well put DS! [sm=agree.gif]



LadyNTrainer -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/10/2009 1:44:16 PM)

Well, technically I am a pro, though what I do is more "serious personal training and fitness/nutrition coaching with a kinky twist".  Mainly I got tired of working with snotty youngsters and bored housewives, and decided to work solely with lifestylers to make things more fun.  [:D]  No idea if you could really call that pro domming in the classical sense, but it's perfectly fine with me if you do call it that since kinky discipline can be involved and it is a professional service.

What I look for in a personal play partner or life partner is intelligence, compatibility, honesty and a genuine interest in me as a person rather than as an object to fulfill his fetishes.  A lot of "submissives" make the mistake of thinking much more about themselves than their potential partners, and lead off every email with kinky sexual suggestions rather than a friendly hello.  I'm sorry, but I'm really not a drive-through McDommes where total strangers can pick off a fetish menu.  If you want that, you do need a pro, and even most pros are going to look askance at overly forward approaches.

Most "submissives" don't read a lady's profile to actually see what she wants, and instead just mail a form letter or a rude proposition that is all about themselves and their sexual fantasies.  That will definitely not go over well as it shows a total lack of caring and interest in what the lady wants.  The person you want to be asking this question is the individual dominant lady herself, when you first approach her.  It's hard to go wrong that way as long as you're polite and careful to read her profile first.



CatdeMedici -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/10/2009 2:55:58 PM)

It isn't about what turns Me on or off, it simply is the way My world has to operate--it isn't kink, sexual. erotic driven--it simply is---
 
I'm in charge end of story.



TEMPERANCE -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/11/2009 7:21:12 AM)

Well technically Im a switch, but Im a very strong dominant woman..... and what turns me on?  An even stronger dominant man..... [:D]



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: What do non-pro Dommes find attactive ? (6/11/2009 7:26:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE
and what turns me on?  An even stronger dominant man..... [:D]
Oh hell no!...
I've so been there and done that.     M



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