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RE: Self pity? - 2/11/2006 9:35:25 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

There is not much of a local scene here.


You're in Ohio. There are kinky people coming out of the woodwork in Ohio. Local doesn't have to be right in your back yard, yanno.



_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to plzblisterme)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Self pity? - 2/11/2006 9:42:49 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I beat the shit outta the accident because I could see the enemy!!! I cannot see this one.......................


Look in the mirror, because the "enemy" is YOU!

The attitude you're displaying here is extremely unattractive, and you're shooting yourself in the foot by continuing to complain about your situation. Since there ARE literally hundreds of male "submissives" for every female dominant, you need to learn to do something that will make you stand out in the crowd. What you're doing right here is making you stand out, to be sure, but not in the way you'd like it to.

It took me over three years (and several incompatible dominants) to find my Master. I went to munches. I had personal ads up. No one spoke to me, and if I got one response a month from my personals, I considered myself lucky. But the RIGHT one DID respond, and we've been together going on six years, now. Your two months is a mere drop in the bucket in terms of finding a truly compatible partner.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to plzblisterme)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 12:12:52 AM   
slave4Darby3d


Posts: 106
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Even as a submissive confidence is a very attractive quality. So, is perserverence.

What you seek is out there...not easily found. But the last person you want in the way of you finding that is yourself.

Relax - you've gotten a lot of good advice. Get out. Drive to some munches. Take a weekend trip to someplace with a scene and play. Those little vacations from your local area can be quite rewarding.

And, for heaven's sake, get off the pity pot. Don't know of anyone seeking a partner for that...

(in reply to plzblisterme)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 5:31:01 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

Thank you true. Will I get my dom card revoked for letting it out of the bag that sometimes the domly ones can actually miss the little subbies and slaves, lol.


Balls

I make no secret of the fact that I simply couldn't be master to someone I didn't care for. It is part of why I want them to be mine. Why I will accept her submission.

When I find her (And I am a little hopefull this evening) then she will be MY precious jewel, a rare find and I don't much care who knows that when she can't be with me I'll sure as hell miss her.


Raven

"Smiles", It was a joke my friend. She not only kneels before me but is my partner, has become my best friend, and the absolute love of my life. We are truly a couple in every way you can imagine.

I see people like the OP and they are impatient and look at everyone with a checklist. Nope you didn't fit all the checks so I am off to look at the next. Stop lookng at everyone as your next dom or sub and just be yourself make friends, before you know it and when you are least expecting something will sneak up and surprise you.

K

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 2/12/2006 5:33:27 AM >

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 5:51:30 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne
"Smiles", It was a joke my friend. She not only kneels before me but is my partner, has become my best friend, and the absolute love of my life. We are truly a couple in every way you can imagine.

I see people like the OP and they are impatient and look at everyone with a checklist. Nope you didn't fit all the checks so I am off to look at the next. Stop lookng at everyone as your next dom or sub and just be yourself make friends, before you know it and when you are least expecting something will sneak up and surprise you.


It is always a pleasure to see someone who has found with their partner what I am looking for myself.

As for my own experience on these boards, I've made far more friends here than I've found people who I considered there being enough of a potential spark to contact. As I asked the OP did he expect it to be easy? I certainly didn't. When I joined I came straight to the forums and started to read, it was a few days before I even looked at the other side. Because I am in no rush, I don't expect anything to happen overnight.

Whilst CM is one of the places I am looking, it could happen today, tomorrow or in a year or two's time. In the meanwhile I'll enjoy the conversations on the forums and chatting to the many friends I am making.

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 6:09:15 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plzblisterme

Maybe. However, I have started to think that even though I have dreamed, and had, my fetish since I was a small boy, that nothing will ever come of it. I have been on this site, along with numerous others, and I am amazed the things that people will cut you off for: not living close enough (as if the person with their particular fetish was in their backyard)


I too am a life long spank enthusiast and didn't venture out until I got online, as I had no idea others felt as I did. Adult books stores weren't my style back then. After being online for just a few months, I also found many more interests as well.

(I viewed your profile) As for your own backyard, I too am in an large city, and have found men as close as directly across the street (okay...and several houses down), to nine city blocks away. I have many scene friends within a mile of my own home.

Unfortunately, the ones that seem to gravitate, to my profile online, are those that are NOT in my backyard, and I have to wonder why their search goes so far? Why don't they seek someone near them..the red flag for distance travelers, for me, is that they are mostly married men, seeking a session they don't want to pay for. I'm not a pro, but am approached as one, 9 out of 10 times, from those outside my own area. Maybe check your approach to those you contact.

Cleveland has a few BSDM groups, as well as a spanking specific group. If you have not found a partner, or friends, than it must be from your lack of seeking in a manner conducive to meeting people. Looking for love (a spanko) in all the wrong places? They're there...really they are!

quote:

ORIGINAL: plzblisterme
There comes a time, and maybe we all have faced it, where you say to yourself "maybe, just maybe, this is no longer worth the aggravation, and heartache, that this fetish causes."
Opinions, please?


I don't define my own interest in spanko as a fetish, per se. But realize that your interest in it won't just happen, and you have to take responsibility for your own enjoyment. Don't expect a lady to fall in your lap.....er, the other way around.

Put some effort into meeting others, and don't hold yourself to finding Ms. Right. She doesn't exist! And, if she does exist...she's already with Mr. Right.

Find some patience, and try to learn from others (well...at least those that offer good advice, versus the duct tape approach ).

Enjoy your journey.
K

(in reply to plzblisterme)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 6:17:04 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Raven,

good luck to you and please don't feel like any of those comments were meant in your direction.

I was "set straight" by more than one submissive who clearly stated she was not looking for friends but a Master. I was always only looking for friends, but always open if the right person came along. I see people, especially female subs, who open a profile, 3 days later claim to have found their Master, a week after they are back saying that didn't work out so lets try again.

I feel for them and for the OP who unfortunately was looking for pity and flew the coup when he received sugestions instead. Had he opened his mind instead of sticking his head in the sand he might have realized he was given good advice form several posters


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 6:45:02 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne
good luck to you and please don't feel like any of those comments were meant in your direction.

I was "set straight" by more than one submissive who clearly stated she was not looking for friends but a Master.


I didn't think they where in my direction.

As for being set straight. If any slave thinks that friendly doesn't mean firm then they are in for a surprise at some point I've always been the same. In one job where I actualy had employed a friend of mine. He broke one of the rules I had made quite clear I expected everyone to stick to (In retail loosing your temper with a customer is simply not acceptable, regardless of how much they may deserve it) I fired him on the spot and dealt with the customer myself. Didn't stop me enjoying his company as a friend later that evening when a few of us had planned to go out.

You don't have to be a sourpuss to be firm.

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 7:05:59 AM   
sweetnessforsir


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plzblisterme

There is not much of a local scene here.

quote:

There is not much of a local scene here.


uhm . . . yes, there is. do a google search for dungeons. i used to be in that neck of the woods and there is a signficant lifestyle community there. once you get to know a few people, it will grow to include non formal members of the community.

keep looking. i found cleveland to be more active than sw florida.

s.

(in reply to plzblisterme)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 9:35:54 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Good points, and I laughed over your three bears analogy (though there are far more in internet-land). Quality creatures are worth the wait, but once you find them, snatch them up quickly before they are further corrupted by the collective circus.

The internet is a fairly good tool, but should be combined with real-world searches as well. If you must, go to 'fetish scenes' and 'munches', I guess.

(in reply to plzblisterme)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Self pity? - 2/12/2006 12:23:50 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: krikket
There's a lovely poem called "Deserata" that touches a special part of me when i'm down, when i need a lift... You might want to give it a read..it's absolutely beautiful, and says a great deal.


http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm

Desiderata is indeed a lovely piece of wisdom. It has stood by me in many a rough time, as well.

Cin

< Message edited by Vancouver_cinful -- 2/12/2006 12:25:05 PM >

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to krikket)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 4:47:02 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plzblisterme

All the more reason to pack it in!!! It's hard enough to find a partner in the vanilla world when women outnumber the men...........but, when the men are more than 100 to 1???????????????????????????????






I have a physical disability-therefore Im not "conventionally" attractive, I know this because a disability charity did some research into employing disabled people and found that companies were nervous about it because they thought that the buying public wouldnt like being served by someone with a disability.

A few years ago I read in a local paper that a little girl with a disability had been ejected from a swimming bath because she was "upsetting" other swimmers.

Ive spent a long time in BDSM chatrooms, and have joined a few on-line communities, a lot of people Ive met over the years online have vanished as soon as I mentioned having a disability, others dont want anything to do with Me, others still have said its not a problem then vanished anyway in a very short time.

I got quite friendly with someone on another site late last year only to have to tell her I use a wheelchair because she asked if Id like to meet with her, then she pulled away-email not answered or even cheched for,evasive over messenger invites-"I didnt recognise your e-mail addy so I blocked you", dispite her being the one who sent Me the invite in the first place, then she says "I must still have you blocked, Ill unblock you in a minute". That was last year.

I live in a small town which didnt have a local munch until about 2 years ago. I was only able to start going late last year because the venue they used to use wasnt wheelchair accessable.Im the only one there with an obvious disability and I feel -very- awkward-I dont look like they do.

On top of that travelling to other muches/clubs is tricky because:I feel out of place because of how I look and I know what at least -some- people think of disability because of that charity research on employment, and I know how people talk to Me all the time-Im there, afterall.

Access is hard more or less all the time-the munch I go to had to be moved partly because I showed an interest. There are dress codes which I may have trouble with cos Im not a normal size/shape.And then there's parking-I need a disabled parking space because of My wheelchair,but what if there arent any? or arent any at a reasonalbe distance from the venuse, some disabilities make walking very hard indeed.What if the spaces are in a "pay and display" area? The local hospital has these and only some are reachable from My wheelchair.

I dont know what ohio is like, but acording to another poster,there's plenty of BDSM action.

Go and get yourself some fetish gear and get yourself out a pose like mad. And while youre there have a few Southern Comforts for Me.


HalloweenWhite.

(in reply to plzblisterme)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 4:56:59 AM   
delectablepink


Posts: 94
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Ok...someone please stop me before I actually post what is on the tip of my tongue

/looks around for some duct tape

IrishMist


~duct tapes IM's feet together~ We are gonna have fun with you on St. Paddy's Day, he he.

delectable pink

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 5:08:43 AM   
delectablepink


Posts: 94
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Dayum Miss Hathor

/shields eyes

I saw that all the way over here

/tapes true's mouth shut also


~steals duct tape and binds true's feet as well~

delectable pink

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 5:21:45 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Stop looking and just be involved for the sake of being involved. Often things tend to move forward once you let go of your agenda.

Most dominant women I know dont care to be approached by men with an agenda, it leaves us feeling secondary to the fetish. Let go of the agenda and start playing 'getting to know you' with your locals. You'll wake up one morning and discover that you're in demand and didn't even see it coming.



_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to plzblisterme)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 5:33:48 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: delectablepink
~duct tapes IM's feet together~ We are gonna have fun with you on St. Paddy's Day, he he.


But are you going to hang them from the ceiling and turn them into pinatas?

(in reply to delectablepink)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 6:27:49 AM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		I first saw the Mistress I was hoping to get to notice me at a Group Munch. She had plenty of attention, male and female. I watched and when Her drink needed freshening I ask Her politely if I may do it for Her. Afterdo so I went back to my seat and did NOT bother Her. When She would do a demonstration at a Group and asked for a volunteer I always had my hand in the air first.

I went to Play parties where I hoped She would be there and always was there to assist Her in any way She needed. I helped Her carry Her toy bag, helped clean up after scenes... it is amazing how many "submissives" do NOT bother to ask the Mistress if She would like them to clean up and put Her toys away...I guess they got what they wanted so "See ya".

In a remarkably short while She and I were FRIENDS and it took a while but She and I have been playing for 12 years and even though I am a Dom now I still ask Her to Play anytime I am in Her area.

ALL the Best Mistresses have and will be taken! YOU have to impress them that you are not just a "do ME" bottom. Mistresses will be Pleased if you show interest, do little things for them...do NOT just lurk and stalk them but let them know in little ways that YOU are actually a real person and that you realize they are real people . Ask if you may fetch them a drink, carry items,SMILE. It takes time but Mistresses are WORTH every second you put into it.

On second thought if you do quit there is less competition for the ones who actually are realistic in their approach and treat Her like a LADY not a piece of meat.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 8:04:22 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		if i can't pity myself, who CAN i pity...nobody else will let me pity them...LOL

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 8:12:44 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: krikket



There's a lovely poem called "Deserata" that touches a special part of me when i'm down, when i need a lift... You might want to give it a read..it's absolutely beautiful, and says a great deal.




It's one of my favorites. i think i posted it in a different thread but will also do so here, for anyone who is interested:

http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm

(in reply to krikket)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Self pity? - 2/20/2006 8:53:57 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I have made a commitment (to myself) to read the Desiderata once a day. Someone reminded me about that poem in another thread last week.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 80
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