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RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 7/18/2009 3:59:23 PM   
Arpig


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fast reply~
She's full of shit. However if she decides to persue it, you're in deep shit. Either way a really shitty situation

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RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 7/18/2009 4:41:52 PM   
QuixoticOtaku


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eclipticsubwitch

AMEN SISTER....no one has to tell you've been raped. But if I were you Sir I would put everything in writing from now on..."What are your hard limits" list or something to that effect


Yeah, I definitely will require a signed checklist of consensual activities if I ever get involved with someone else.  After all this weirdness and getting burned, I think I'm better off alone for a while.

(in reply to eclipticsubwitch)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 7/18/2009 7:19:19 PM   
JEB


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Joined: 2/4/2006
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Oh yes, this happened to me!  Not months after the fact, though.  I had had a girl contact me here, saying that she was interested in serving me, and wanted to meet.  I questioned her listing herself as "straight", as I already had a slave at the time....in response, I got a story about how she just recently had an experience that she enjoyed with another girl, and she changed her orientation to "bisexual".  She refused to meet in a public place, and refused to attend the local group's munch, saying that she was somehow afraid of exposure at her job.  Over the next week, she drove about 2 hours every day to come and visit myself and my slave.  There was play, there was sexual activity, all done with my slave present and participating as well.  She told me that she had some sort of issue where she would attempt to leave, and asked me to physically prevent her from doing so.....I did not do this, as I had no intention of trying to keep someone around who did not want to be there.....at one point, she actually did get up and leave, and of course I didn't make any attempt to stop her.....she left and was back knocking on my door only a few minutes later.  All this took place with my slave present.  She even brought me gifts, such as a fan, a scented candle, and a dog brush.  However, she eventually asked to visit at a time when my slave would be at work, and I agreed to let her come, which she did.  She spent the day playing, and doing some light housework.  I had some writing to do, and she spent that time in the next room, supposedly doing some writing of her own, but I found out later that what she was really doing was text messaging people on her cellphone.  I took a break from my writing for a nice watersports session.....as she came out of the room, I noticed that she slipped her cellphone into her pocket and thus took it into the bathroom with her....she obediently undressed and got into the bathtub, and took it like a good girl....afterwards I told her to take a shower, and went back to my writing.  Some amount of time later, there was a knock at the door, which I ignored, as I wasn't expecting anyone.  The knocking continued, and whoever it was wasn't going away.....when they started sounded like they were pounding hard enough to break the door down, I decided to find out what the hell was going on.  Without opening the door, I asked who was there.....to my extreme surprise, the response was "police".  I asked what they were doing there, and they refused to tell me, only stating that "they had a call" and demanding entry.  Now, as the police in the area I was living in at that time (a socially conservative midwestern state, adjacent to the one she lives in) are highly corrupt and totally disregard their Constitutional limitations, I told them to hold on a second, and immediately got my video camera.  Camera in hand and rolling, I again went to the door and asked them why they were there.....again, I got the same response.  I repeatedly asked if they had a warrant, and was told that they did not.  Since I was therefore under no legal obligation to allow them entry, I didn't.....after threatening to shoot my dog, they kicked the door in, pointed their guns at me, threw me to the ground, and stomped on my back, producing some nice bruises and a hairline rib fracture.  I was told that I was being arrested for "interference with official acts, to start with" (because I exercised my 4th amendment rights, and didn't just let them in), and handcuffed.  The girl was questioned, and when she stated she had been coming over all week, the cop questioning her called out to the others, "she came back".  I was taken off to jail, and in my absence, an illegal search of my residence was performed.  At some point before leaving, I don't know exactly what they did (I suspect kicked), but my dog suddenly let out a cry of pain.  All this is on tape.  I was forced to spend the night in jail.  The police report stated that upon further interviewing of the girl, she admitted that she was not raped, and that she had been freely coming and going from my residence all week.  In addition, the police report stated that she was obviously not being held captive in any way, as she had claimed.  Now, if I was going to hold someone captive, would I have allowed them to keep their cellphone with them?  DUH.  The next development in this unfortunate story was receiving a summons to a court in the next state, where this girl was from....since this girl couldn't get the local police to buy her rape story, she attempted to have me indicted in another state!  This forced me to hire a lawyer (as I couldn't get a public defender in this circumstance) for $1300, to prove that this court didn't have jurisdiction.  After being subjected to the police brutality, as mentioned, I went to the hospital after getting out of jail, so there went another $600 to find out that I did indeed suffer a cracked rib.  Of course, since the charge was completely bogus, the cop never showed up in court and the case against me was dismissed.  And of course, I couldn't find a lawyer to sue either the cops or the girl.....I was told that there "wasn't enough money in the case".  As for the "physical evidence" of rape that the girl claimed to have.....if someone has been participating in play sessions and sex for an entire week, "evidence" of such would only be expected, would it not?  One funny thing about this whole episode is that according to the police report, the girl claimed that being tied up, paddled, peed on, cummed on, dildoed, fucked, and nipple-clamped was all SO abusive......yet according to her profile here, she moved in with a sadist shortly afterwards, and continues to be happy in her relationship with him (and oh yes, she also changed her sexual orientation back to "straight").  To this day, she continues to come back and give me (and my slave as well) a full profile view once in a while.....I do not know her motive for this, and I don't care enough to ask.  But from one of her messages to me here on CM (which I did print out, as evidence of her motive), she stated that she was jealous of my slave.....this appears to be the motive for her false accusations.  Even a couple years later, in spite of the evidence proving her accusations false, this "slave" still continues to slander me here on CM.  The damage has been done as far as my own self is concerned.....but how can others learn from this, and protect themselves from this sort of thing?  Unfortunately, the so-called "justice system" in this country is no protection at all, and is biased towards females.....even though the girl admitted that her accusation was false (documented in both the police report and on my videotape), she was not charged with making a false report....and police are all too eager to arrest someone, simply on the say-so of a female.  If you want to keep this from ever happening to yourself, there are really only two things I can recommend.  The first is to never let a girl into your residence without signing some sort of written consent, and even better, back this up with an audio / video recording of a statement of consent.  The second is to never allow someone new into your residence without a witness present, such as another slave....this is obviously impractical if you are not poly (good thing I have two such witnesses now, heh).  Beware of any signs that the person is not who or what they claim to be (such as them suddenly discovering their bisexuality upon learning that you already have a slave), or a refusal to meet in public place that is over an hour from their home.  Listen to others' gut feelings about the person (my slave had stated from the very beginning that she had a bad feeling about this girl and her motives, which I dismissed as irrational).  Leonidas' advice above is certainly good, but sometimes a person can be good at hiding their mental problems until they decide to unleash them on you.  It would be interesting to see anyone who is a lawyer comment on this thread. 

(in reply to Leonidas)
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RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 7/18/2009 8:24:57 PM   
HeadmasterDavid


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/12/2009
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It does happen more often that people realize. You never know when a subbie is gonna turn psycho on ya. And it happens "retroactively", as in, "I decided today, a full day later, that you raped me, because I just didn't like the way it all went down"

And she gets to hide behind the "rape shield law" which protects her name while yours gets dragged through the mud. While all the police officers and court clerks get to snicker and laugh at the paraphernalia they found in YOUR house that the news film crews really want to get their hands on, and will somehow be leaked out to them. And NOW and other women's rights groups will show up at the hearings to make sure the poor little darling gets her fair day in court, and to speak with the news media about how men are getting away with rape these days. And some psychologist will go on Dr. Phil and show them the journal you made her write where she described going to the bathroom and her diets and all the other deviant stuff you did to her.

And even though you paid the best attorney in the city $25,000 out of your child's college fund, he basically tells you that the judges have absolutely no qualms about sending another pervert to prison for 20 years, and he's got a reelection campaign coming up and wants to look like he's "tough on crime" right now, and even though it's gonna be totally he-said-she-said, you might be actually looking at some jail time. And if you do somehow manage to pleabargain your way out of it, the Internet databases might "make a mistake" and leave your record sitting there will a felony accusation even though the whole thing was dropped.

Yeah. I've seen it before in this city. That's why I have written contracts signed before I play at all any more in private.



(in reply to flamingpuppets)
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RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 7/19/2009 3:52:20 AM   
QuixoticOtaku


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JEB
Leonidas' advice above is certainly good, but sometimes a person can be good at hiding their mental problems until they decide to unleash them on you. 


That's exactly the problem.  A dominant can try to be understanding and accommodate a submissive's hang-ups then get screwed over for being nice later.  For example, this person you described said she didn't want to meet in public b/c of time and not wanting to be "out" about her sexual preferences.  In my case, I was my ex's first lover and "real" relationship so she said she had trouble communicating what she wanted.  And also... it's even true in vanilla relationships... sometimes you don't know how fucked up someone is until down the line.  Like a frog who is set in water then it's put on the stove and he winds up boiled alive, sometimes one winds up in too deep before she figures out that it's a dangerous situation.  A lot of time there aren't obvious "red flags" at the beginning and sometimes it's lack of experience with a particular kind of crazy so one doesn't know something's wrong until it's too late.

The problem was that I was too nice and trusting.  She needed a place to stay and wasn't working so why not have her move in for TPE since she said she wanted to be my slave?  I asked her so many times if she wanted to be my slave and described what that meant to me.  She was really good at telling me what I wanted to hear I guess.  So many manipulative, needy, fucked-up people are then turn around and stab you in the back.

I'm so sorry that happened to you, Jeb.  It sounds like you did your best to protect yourself in that situation.  I'm not sure if I could have coped with that craziness.  Even so, sounds like it was a nightmare for you anyway.

(in reply to JEB)
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RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 7/19/2009 9:37:26 AM   
Missokyst


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Joined: 9/9/2006
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Rape charges can be brought up many years after the fact.  But as you continued to have a relationship with her after said incident, chances are likely that will be the determining factor in a rape case.  That is IF charges are brought up.  What is the likelihood that your former partner will want his/her case exposed?  This is the sort of thing that makes the news section to feed the publics desire for hot gossip.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticOtaku
To clarify my original post... I am a bi female (XX chromosomes).  The sub/current girlfriend is a transfemale, i.e., has XY chormosomes but identifies and is transitioning to female.


(in reply to QuixoticOtaku)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 7/19/2009 6:55:20 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
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This entire scenario terrifies me - especially the social fallout after the fact, as illustrated by JEB here. I've seen men's lives ruined by false accusations of rape. I've seen women's lives ruined by men who raped them and then made them look like psychotic liars. There's nothing you can really do to make either situation less likely; some people just have the right tricks, and know how to use them.

(in reply to Aylee)
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RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 7/19/2009 9:33:44 PM   
DrkJourney


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Sorry if I am repeating or you have responded to the issues that I bring up, I've only read your op and a couple of post on the first page:

no kidding around...if you are still with her, get the hell out.  Be careful what you say and do, and for a while make sure you have people around you to verify what you are doing and where you are.  Who's to say she won't come up with "more past times" or new times that you "attacked" her.  I she has to do is get you to "make love" to her and then she can cry rape and have your DNA to back her up.

I've had at least two friends in your spot, it was obvious in both cases that it wasn't rape, the law clearly saw it in one, but it took her on the witness stand breaking down finally admitting she lied to get the other friend out of his troubles.

My husband wakes me up like that all the time, and I him....it's clearly not rape, and honestly it has nothing to do with D/s, just our love for each other.

providing that your side of the story is correct, as others have said, sounds like a drama queen that either wants attention, and/or money.  

For goodness sake get out of that living arrangement, if you are still there.   It cost a lot less to give up a place and move your stuff some where else that to spend the money on attorney's and court cost.

< Message edited by DrkJourney -- 7/19/2009 9:39:09 PM >


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(in reply to QuixoticOtaku)
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RE: Ever have a sub cry "rape" months later? - 8/16/2009 4:44:00 AM   
wvjeeper


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ok i will say right here i didnt read all four pages of responses far to much reading at the moment. I do have something diff to add to this than anything i did read, if it was brought up in the pages i missed, my bad. my ex accused me of the same exact thing months after it happend,(i will add we had discussed sex while she was sleeping and it was not a limit) we were spooning she is asleep i have insomnia so i slide her panties down and had anal sex with her while we spooned and she slept, it was aswome, she woke up at the end and was only upset at being woken up, not the sex. months later she tried to say i raped her that night. well this girl had considerable mental health issues, bi polar disorder, manic depressive type 2, borderline personality disorder, etc etc. and I know it was her mental instability that caused her to accuse me of rape. we acted out a rape fantasy once a year or so later with an agreed upon and heavily discussed safeword, she never used said word so i didnt stop when she cried out etc as far as i was concerned unless the safe word was used it was role play, she accused me of raping her immediatly afterwards, then continues to come back at later dates to play and have sex, now i know she accused me out of guilt the second time, we had split up and she was engaged to the definition of vanilla man, and i guess she felt bad playing with me still. I dont know just thought i would throw the mental health issue out there.

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 69
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