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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 11:45:53 AM   
Arpig


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From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

Do they react any differently to you when you are on or off your meds?
Not that I have noticed, but to be honest I never really paid any attention to that...I will have to do so now that I am going back on my meds again, should be interesting to see.

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 11:49:11 AM   
Arpig


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quote:

For me.. well.. i am curious.. do the sounds come..actually from within your head... or do they sound like people standing around in the room WITH you?
It depends (with schizo there is never an easy answer). The individual voices are definately inside my head, as are the majority of the general voices, but sometimes they can sound like they are outside my head and that gets a bit weird, when you hear somebody behind you say something like "Wouldn't you just love to rape that little girl?" you turn around to confront the sicko....and there is nobody around but you.

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Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 11:51:04 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		LOL
Thanks ST. The pills kicked in with a vengeance last night, all of a sudden i was about to pass out, I barely managed to get to my bed and into my PJs before I passed out...very effective as a sedative they are!

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:02:14 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I thought this bit might be of interest. The Spirit voices explain the general voices as being caused by the Gods and Demons, not being the voices of them, but being caused by them. They could not explain how they caused them, they couldn't explain many things actually...I guess I hadn't made that bit up yet ).
Also, despite the names Gods, Spirits, Demons, they are not defined by their goodness. From the perspective of the Spirits they are of course all evil. The Gods live in a part of their world along the coast where there are many cities and such. Each city is ruled over by its own group of Gods. The Demons live in a vast deserty area and they live in caves and such. They have some sort of hierarchy, but I don't understand it at all. Each major demon controls its own power block and they constantly scheme amongst themselves to gain more power. the Spirits live in a sort of pleasant temperate wilderness between the two.

The best way to explain them is that the Gods are the forces of civilisation and order, they tend to take away one's freedoms and so on. If a God is god of something in particular, then he controls that thing. The Demons are the purely destructive forces, they exist solely to destroy. And finally the Spirits, they represent the forces that inspire, each spirit is actually the spirit of something: Histael, for example, is the spirit of military leadership: He is the force that inspires a general to be a great general. Night is the spirit of murderous rage: she inspires people to commit murders. While she has what one might consider an evil portfolio, she was not herself evil.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:06:14 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you Arpig for posting this. My ex mother-in-law is  a paranoid schizophrenic who has gone untreated for many years. Her entire family watched her change from a fairly happy (or at least seemed to be)woman, to a hermit who hears voices from demons and angels telling her that everyone is out to get her. Her family refuses to get her treatment because their religious beliefs teach them that these are the voices of demons and not a mental illness. They drag her from preacher to preacher, revival to revival in the hopes that the "demons" will be gone. The voices never leave, they just get worse and more violent.

I always wondered what it must be like to hear voices and have no one to help, like in the case of my ex mother-in-law. I think in a way it is a private hell to which no one can really understand unless they experience it themselves. Thank goodness you have gotten help.

~Lashra

< Message edited by Lashra -- 6/15/2009 12:07:04 PM >

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:08:44 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		A few comments.

I told my Psy Dr I was bringing myself down on meds.  He went off the deep end.  He cut off all meds simply because I reduced the effexxor.

I also have black outs.  No voices tho.  

I still want off of all meds- but frankly- my body chemistry is not so enthralled with the fricken meds that- it might be impossible.

I also have not been able to replace my P-dr.   I messed up by being honest with him.

Whatever.

In my case- I believe I should be able to wean off.  But- the Dr has a god complex.  

You should have seen him banging his computer when I told him my reasons!

(Depression/ ADHD)  

Be careful.     That is my advice.  A person has the right to the least effective dose. In my case- the DR messed up.    I hate that this happened.  But I insist on if not deleting all meds- at least coming down in doseage.

I am not a DR- but in so far as my body is concerned- I insist to know WHY- every step of the way.

Over 10 years on the crap- I figure it will take me 3 years to get off of it.  It was nice to have treatment- but my lawsuits are over and injuries are stable for the most part.

I view the AMA is just another pill pusher organization.  Junk science.

Of course-  the meds run over $1200 a month.    That is outragious.    They over do it.  and 10 years was enough time for me to get over the hard ordeals I faced.  

If not now- then WHEN????  (for me)

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:15:08 PM   
Arpig


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From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

Of course-  the meds run over $1200 a month. 
Taht is unreal. Thank God I live in Canada, my meds cost me $2 for each prescription. So it used to cost me $6 a month, but the new regimine will only cost me $4 a month. (or for 2 months if that's how many the doc prescribes them for)

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:15:53 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


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Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Arpig,

See, for most of my life, I've had 'friends' in my head... many of them are characters from the books I write, but they have a life of their own. They -have- to... or the characters one writes become flat and uninteresting, and people just can't relate to them. Now I have to ask myself (especially after having to re-write over 100 pages of a novel when the main character woke me out of a sound sleep and informed me that she WAS NOT going to do "that", and there was NO WAY in -anyone's- right mind that she'd EVER do "that", and I had better get off my lazy, short-cutting, philosophically barren ass and re-write the damned section.) whether there is more to my characters than simply a very strong imagination.

Some of my characters do bad things in their own lives... but none of them has ever compelled -me- to do something bad. Is that where one draws the line between a powerful imaginatory world and illness?

Thank you for sharing this, even though the questions that it brings up for someone who gets paid to have an expansive imagination and an ever-expanding cast of characters in her head are... uncomfortable.

Dame Calla


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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:19:19 PM   
pahunkboy


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From: Central Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Of course-  the meds run over $1200 a month. 
Taht is unreal. Thank God I live in Canada, my meds cost me $2 for each prescription. So it used to cost me $6 a month, but the new regimine will only cost me $4 a month. (or for 2 months if that's how many the doc prescribes them for)


I have insurance.   For now.  Until Pennsylvania goes bankrupt.          So the co-pays are there, not too bad.  But that is the thing.   One med is over $600 and I recall it in the 80s costing $12.   But controlled- now.   Well more controlled.   Time released something like that.

Yeah- I am very lucky to be covered.  But I suspect that budget cuts are coming and PA will get crappy like the other states....

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:26:57 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Sorry to have troubled your waters Calla. I have no idea how one differentiates between the two, except that voices are not the only symptom of schizo disorders. If they are all you have, and they have never advocated you do anything bad, then I'd say go for it. I wish my voices were the only issue I had.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:45:43 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I tried to post this now 5 x.

Let me just say- HUGS my friend. 

Peace and Joy to all.

:-)




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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 12:48:58 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Thanks hunk

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 2:12:43 PM   
ShaharThorne


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Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Arpig, I went to my pdoc today and we discuss my treatment, how to avoid alcohol (been sober 3 years now) and why I try to hurt myself (to feel more alive). She ensures me that I should be feeling better (which I am compared to just over 3 months ago) and wants the nice bloodpanel work done since I did express concern over my weight gain (Depakote is known for weight gain). She is also doing a TSH screen just in case my wiehgt gain is a combination of the drugs and my thyroid.

I am so glad that you are doing okay on your end. The mental health people pay for my meds because I am dangerous to myself if I am off of them, so no pay for me...LOL!

*huggles*

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 2:25:08 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		They tried me on remorand. (sP)  man- I got up out of a deep sleep and ate and ate. I said not this pill.  It was rather perplexing that it had that effect. 

That class of drugs was not an option for me.  I made that clear.   Just what I need- massive weight gain with bad disks.   argh. 

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 4:25:21 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Well I am back. Had to leave work early though. Way to fucking spiny, and my vision is sort of going all pixelatted at times(best way I can describe it).

Anyway, thanks to all who CMailed me. glad you liked the thread. One person was confused by the Histael/Fabio thing, well I will clarify, just in case there are others. His name is Histael and he looks (at least in my mind's eye) like the romance novel cover model Fabio (http://www.fabioifc.com/page3.html) with wings.

I hope nobody minded my ramblings about the voices. I could go on and on, but I suspect that wouldn't be of much interest to others, so I won't. Unless you all want me to, in which case just say so, either on here or in cmail.


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 4:27:38 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
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From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

I always wondered what it must be like to hear voices and have no one to help, like in the case of my ex mother-in-law. I think in a way it is a private hell to which no one can really understand unless they experience it themselves. Thank goodness you have gotten help.

Yeah, it is sort of a private hell. Oddly enough, the aspect I found most difficult to deal with was that the voices tend to be more active when I am trying to sleep, it is hard to get to sleep with peopl yakking away in your head.


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 4:58:14 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		My first thought on all this was, "this is crazy!" Then I thought, oh no, I better not say that. lol

But wow. Really this is something. I know my daughter suffered from seizures. And I recall thinking how long ago, that would have meant in some cultures that she was gifted. And then there's you!

My first thought on the voices was, gee, if we chained him up, we could just listen to him forever! He's got so much of interest to say!

I seriously don't know how I would handle all that! I think like you, sooner or later I'd be like, Ok guys! Time to shut up now! Im tired! Go to sleep! But it seems like the people in your head just go on and on, with little concern for your well being. That might be my tip off to try and shut them up. It's like, if they dont gve you a break, they must not care that deeply about your well being.

Im still thinking tho, that it must be so hard to not turn away from everything else in order to listen to this stuff 24/7. I mean, I would. Truly. I cant help but think, (and I have no otherwordly thoughts in my head, altho I do have thoughts that just dont seem to want to shut the fuck up) that there are otherworldy things that happen in the world that we can not explain.

This has got to be a very difficult life to lead for you. And certainly, I admire you for your ability to be at least on here, a thoughtful insightful individual. I've always read your posts with the understanding that you and I, are on a sort of same-place-plain. At least age wise and insight wise. You come across as a level headed person. And you've always made me think, then  laugh. So now its your turn to laugh, knowing yourself as you do.

Seriously though. And this will sound like I am now the craziest person on here, ...that perhaps you were given this,.. whatever we should call it....gift, cross to bear, insight,..because you are the best person for it. I mean that with the utmost of respect.

I look forward to once again reading your completely sane postings in reply to the real crazy people out there who post, like Lavinia. lololol Next glass of wine I have, there will be a toast to Arpig.

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 5:21:44 PM   
Vampz


Posts: 44
Joined: 7/27/2007
Status: offline 		Arpig, I'd suggest you write it down. I like what the author-poster was saying. Maybe, if you have the energy... Start writing and (excuse me?) make $. You are a compelling writer.

My question/comment~ Are you maybe also describing multi-personality disorder?

Whatever it takes I wish for you peace and happiness. Thanks so very much for telling us about this. I hear/feel things but as far as I can tell it is an Irish thing. Just hits and I 'know' what ever it is that I have no way of knowing. Last time it came on hard was when a friend died.

Glad you are on a different cycle of meds and I hope they help for a long time. Blessed be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm thinking of how with real people in real life, sometimes when you know someone really well for a period of several years... something happens in the relationship where all of a sudden, you see them in a whole new light, and suddenly it dawns on you that maybe they really aren't as good a person as you always thought they were. You know what i mean? Does anything like this ever happen with any of your "internal people?"
This is why I almost always take my time w/ people. Looking at everything thur rose coloured glasses.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

PAHunk, sorry to hear. You have to wean yourself off the meds. In order to do so you gradually, reduce the meds ... such as 3/4 pill for 2 weeks, 1/2 pill 3 weeks... I'd suggest keeping journal as you do this and how you feel. You are welcome to contact me. Me too, depression from the disc/back pains. I've tried a few anti-depressents and nope, made me sicker... so I decided try natural herbs- I am taking StJohns Wort, Flax seed, Vit E... Yeah, the Dr didn't like it but I couldn't stand the meds., it was get off them or...   And after blacking out, seeing stars, etc--- I googled, well coming off cold turkey from the meds (certain ones I assume) is very like shock treatment after-effects.

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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 5:21:49 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		It is hard not to just let go and lose yourself in their world. I find myself wondering if I will tell my shrink if the new meds don't stop the voices, but keep the other aspects in check. And at times I have wondered if the meds stop the voices by perhaps interfereing with whatever it is in my mind that allows me to communicate with them, sort of hoping that perhaps they are real after all. At times I almost hope that is the case, mostly because I hate to think of them as merely imaginary, that the lives and loves they decribed are not real.

Interestingly enough, when they came back when I went off my meds, their lives had progressed in the time when I was on meds. They did not go into limbo, but their lives had carried on (for example: Histael's love has died in the time I was on meds and the voices had stopped).

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The voices in my head. - 6/15/2009 5:25:08 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

My question/comment~ Are you maybe also describing multi-personality disorder?


I would have thought so to, but in the case of multi-personality, my understanding is that they do notinteract with eachother, one cannot talk to them. At least that is my understanding, based on very little actual knowledge of course.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 60
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