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RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 12:41:46 AM

Loki45

Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: scifi1133
You know I'm glad I hear about all this now AFTER you drove me around.

You'd probably never want to ride with me, then. I'm known for 'reminding' other drivers that they shouldn't pull out in front of me going half my speed.....often waiting until the last possible second to swerve around them, tires squealing....otherwise they won't learn nothin'. One time though....ONE time....I almost lost it. I didn't think a front-wheel drive car could fish tail....but if anyone could find a way.....

_____________________________

"'Till the roof comes off, 'till the lights go out
'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

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Post #: 161

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 12:45:26 AM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

Oh I'm rather prone to road rage as anyone who has been on the phone with me while I'm driving can attest to.

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to Loki45)

Post #: 162

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 12:46:49 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: scifi1133

You know I'm glad I hear about all this now AFTER you drove me around.

bite me. you drive like a cop ;)

I'd NEVER actually do it. Certainly not with someone in the vehicle with me...

fascist :)

(loves ya baby)

btw, Gracious is on my lap. She sends her best lizar... erm, wishes...

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 6/19/2009 12:48:02 AM >

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 163

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 12:55:20 AM

Loki45

Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: scifi1133

Oh I'm rather prone to road rage as anyone who has been on the phone with me while I'm driving can attest to.

See I don't call what I do road rage. Not that I've never had that, but when I do what I do, it's really really well planned. Take my lil swerving maneuver. I look beforehand. If there's anyone to my sides, I don't do it. I am very aware when I drive. It takes a LOT of coordination and planning to make it *look* like I'm driving like a raging idiot.

Sometimes the squeal of tires and a near-miss is what it takes for some of those idiots to start to pay attention.

_____________________________

"'Till the roof comes off, 'till the lights go out
'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

(in reply to scifi1133)

Post #: 164

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 12:58:28 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

yeah.. when I look at the bridges, I check shit out to make sure that there's no innocent bystander....

there's a separate voice in my head that is being clinical about it all. "if you're doing about 70 when ya hit it, the car will become an accordian. Make sure there are no other vehicles or pedestrians in the area. It'll be quick."

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Loki45)

Post #: 165

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 1:03:48 AM

Loki45

Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

yeah.. when I look at the bridges, I check shit out to make sure that there's no innocent bystander....

there's a separate voice in my head that is being clinical about it all. "if you're doing about 70 when ya hit it, the car will become an accordian. Make sure there are no other vehicles or pedestrians in the area. It'll be quick."

Eh, I prefer to wait for the chance to die a hero. That's two birds with one stone (according to 'those thoughts' anyway). Firstly....I'm a hero. Heroes are never forgotten, especially by those they save. Secondly, well...I'd be dead. So....yeah. Goin' out a hero.....far worse ways to go. Plus, if I get "doomed to repeat my death" for eternity.....it oughtta be a cool one, right?

_____________________________

"'Till the roof comes off, 'till the lights go out
'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 166

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 1:07:34 AM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

Okay you two are starting to scare me a little lmao.

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to Loki45)

Post #: 167

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 1:08:52 AM

Loki45

Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: scifi1133

Okay you two are starting to scare me a little lmao.

Boo.

If you think what I SHOW is scary.....imagine what I don't. Takin' a peek in my head is like looking into a funhouse mirror and suddenly seeing something behind you.

< Message edited by Loki45 -- 6/19/2009 1:14:13 AM >

_____________________________

"'Till the roof comes off, 'till the lights go out
'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

(in reply to scifi1133)

Post #: 168

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 1:19:28 AM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

Oh good I like funhouses lmao.

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to Loki45)

Post #: 169

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 1:28:19 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

the things that have always kept me from acting are the thoughts that I love my Mom..I couldnt do that to her... and also.. the cats. Seriously. I dont want my cats ( whichever are there at the time) to get shuttled off to a shelter. Sad? maybe. But it keeps me from letting that voice convince me.

NOW.. I have a husband to think about\. I refuse to make him a widower because of whatever fucked up shit is going on inside my head.

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to scifi1133)

Post #: 170

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 8:36:08 AM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

yeah.. when I look at the bridges, I check shit out to make sure that there's no innocent bystander....

there's a separate voice in my head that is being clinical about it all. "if you're doing about 70 when ya hit it, the car will become an accordian. Make sure there are no other vehicles or pedestrians in the area. It'll be quick."

I hate to tell you this, but it may not be as quick as you think. I hit a tree head-on at a little over 50 a couple of years ago, and walked away (literally, hopped out and walked away) because the tree hit the passenger side of the truck instead of the driver's side. The glove compartment was pushed up against the headrest on the passenger seat. The driver's compartment was completely undamaged. If the tree had been just a foot to the left, it would have sheared off my right leg and pretty much mangled most of the right side of my body, but there would have been enough left of me to suffer for quite some time.

70 mph? Yeah, that's usually a quick one. In most cases, you'd be absolutely correct, but there's always the wild card. Every now and then, it really doesn't go quite the way you might have expected it. Just sayin'.

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In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
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(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 171

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 10:57:17 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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That's one of the things that has always prevented me from following through with the suicidal urges, the fact that it might go wrong. I can see me hanging myself and not breaking my neck, and having to slowly strangle, or throwing myself in front of a bus only to end up in a wheelchair rather than dead. I find I can consider the pros and cons of suicide dispassionately (and from some of these posts it seems I am not alone in that). I have always wondered why it didn't evoke revulsion in me, but it doesn't, rather a sort of clinical fascination, where a voice will advocate some method of suicide, and I will very calmly and rationally (or at least it seems rational at the time) point out what the flaws in the plan are. Unlike GT's looking out for other people, to my voices, the more mayhem and pain I cause on my way out the better.

As another aside, most of the time, the voices do not advocate killing myself as an end in and of itself, but usually it is presented as a method to achieve something else. Most often it is presented as some sort of method of getting back at my ex (though just why that would be they have never said). Another example is hanging myself in the park, the reason for that would be how much fun the voice thinks it would be to freak out the kids and parents coming to the park in the morning, to find me hanging from the swing set. In fact most of the things they advocate are done so on the assumption that it would be fun, or funny to do. Like I said before, the general voices are nasty buggers.

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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Post #: 172

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 2:22:39 PM

terrislut

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Joined: 6/19/2009
Status: offline

WOW!!!! That's all I can say about this thread. I am amazed at all of you who have opened up about your various issues. I really didn't expect to see a thread like this on a BDSM forum.
What I want to know, from Arpig, is this: Were all your characters Dominant?

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 173

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 2:32:12 PM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

guess im escaping reality and I really want to kill people from a distance.

The bravery of being out of range

lmao but of course lmao

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 174

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 3:25:17 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

What I want to know, from Arpig, is this: Were all your characters Dominant?

Not really. They all had a sadistic streak in them, but I couldn't go so far as to say they were dominant or submissive in the sense that people on CM mean it. They were all dominant in as much as they considered themselves to be a superior form of being, and thought of themselves as natural rulers, or at least that's how they came across.

They had very little understanding about the limitations that society places on us. For example, I had an upstairs neighbour who was real Hell, and the individual voices' solution to the problem was simply to kill the offending person, and thereby solve the whole problem. They could not understand why I would consider myself in any way bound by the laws etc. of this world, to them I wasn't of this world, and was one of them, so I had no effective limits on what I could or couldn't do.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to terrislut)

Post #: 175

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 3:52:16 PM

Vendaval

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Dayum, this is better than anything on TV in a long time!

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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Post #: 176

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 4:00:50 PM

LookieNoNookie

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Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Do you dream Arpig? Or do the meds supress those as well?
I dream. I rarely remember them, but the meds do not seem to have any effect on my dreams

By the way....just a quick note....

It is the CIA that's after you.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 177

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 4:32:00 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

By the way....just a quick note....

It is the CIA that's after you.

No Lookie, haven't you been keeping up, the CIA is to busy chasing after other crazies, its the Vatican that's after me, damndable Papists!!

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 178

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 5:47:31 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

Dayum, this is better than anything on TV in a long time!

I know that was meant to be a compliment Vendaval, but given the quality of what's on TV these days, its not much of one.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 179

RE: The voices in my head. - 6/19/2009 5:58:32 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

By the way....just a quick note....

It is the CIA that's after you.

No Lookie, haven't you been keeping up, the CIA is to busy chasing after other crazies, its the Vatican that's after me, damndable Papists!!

(Fuckers!)

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 180

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