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Loyalty - 6/16/2009 12:16:13 PM

sonnyb40

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How much loyalty is expected out of a sub? Is it rude to see multiple Dommes?

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 12:20:01 PM

CatdeMedici

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sonnyb40

How much loyalty is expected out of a sub? Is it rude to see multiple Dommes?

Its probably not the smartest thing to do.

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 12:20:28 PM

LadyHibiscus

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If you are in a committed relationship, you are expected to be loyal to your commitment. If you are playing, be HONEST that you are just playing, and enjoy yourself.

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 12:25:34 PM

Venatrix

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I don't allow my subs to play with others, nor do I play with multiple partners. If a sub isn't sure that he wants to see me exclusively, he needs to go away until he is sure. I have no problem with that, as long as he understands that chances of my still being interested in him once he does come back are probably pretty slim.

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 12:27:03 PM

slutslave4u

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I agree, IF you are in a committed relationship loyalty is to be expected....unless given free reign to do so if was an agreement by both parties going into the relationship. If wishing to seek out other Dommes, have you discussed it with the one you are serving? Seems the communication should be with Her do you not think? Communicate Communicate Communicate, without that you will most certainly be lost!

Some may not have any problems if you are seeking something to experience and perhaps they are not into it, or perhaps to feel or experience anothers scening or play......simply for the experiences it may give, and then again as already stated, some are simply against it from the start. So communicate!

< Message edited by slutslave4u -- 6/16/2009 12:30:12 PM >

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 1:06:27 PM

OttersSwim

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sonnyb40

How much loyalty is expected out of a sub? Is it rude to see multiple Dommes?

What have you negotiated in your relationship?

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 1:11:35 PM

Lockit

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If I am or talking about playing with someone and it is sexual and/or we are making plans.. I have asked if they were playing with others or seeking other's out. If they say no, I expect their actions to agree with their words and that if anything changes, they tell me before we play again. If I have any d/s dynamic's with them, I don't want them if they are playing or are serious with others in d/s dynamic's. It may be too soon to define what is to happen, but it isn't too soon to be completely open and honest at all times.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 6/16/2009 1:12:11 PM >

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 1:43:16 PM

TEMPERANCE

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I think it depends on the agreement you have with the dominant, my sub is allowed to play with others but it has to be with my permission, and it has to be the Mistress that asks.....

If it hasnt been agreed before hand i would be cautious and be as loyal as possible until you know for sure.... dominants like a submissive who is honest and loyal....

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 2:28:59 PM

Highlandsub

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What did you two agree on when you started the relationship?

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 3:50:43 PM

MsStarlett

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You found more than one that will see you? Feel lucky and don't push it.

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 5:21:28 PM

LovingMistress45

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Every relationship is different. I expect complete and total loyalty if the sub/slave is mine or under consideration. I do have casual play (not sex) partners and I don't have a lot of expectations other than honesty. It all depends on what you have agreed to. If I feel a sub has potential and I don't him/her seeing/playing with others I let them know and see if they agree.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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RE: Loyalty - 6/16/2009 5:34:51 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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If both were part of House Bladewing, there would be no problem having a servant seeing multiple free within the House. However, outside dominant individuals would be off-limits without supervision from a House free person.

While I wouldn't completely dismiss the possibility of co-dominating with someone outside the House, we would have to spend a great deal of time discussing things, to make sure that the disciplines that we require of a servant would not be undone in the 2nd circumstance. For most people, sorting out two sets of requirements is just way too much work.

Dame Calla

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RE: Loyalty - 6/17/2009 8:54:03 AM

LadyLou

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Depends on her really. Though, I am not sure “rude” is the correct term for what you describe, perhaps hurtful or deceitful is a more apt term.

The fact you ask this question shows you have not discussed this with either of them. Lets say for a second we all validated your desire to date two dommes, do you really think, when confronted by said dommes, that a justification of 'well, on a poll I conducted on a kink orientated forum, 9 out of 10 kinksters response was date those dommes' – do you really think it will fly? Does the fact that they identify as dommes automatically suggest to you that they would be more open to male philandering?

Ask those involved what their expectations are. If you are unsure and don't want to ask, perhaps walking on the side of caution is best.

(in reply to sonnyb40)

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RE: Loyalty - 6/17/2009 6:14:20 PM

Saint

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Loyalty is no longer rewarded, valued or recognized in relationships both personal and professional and so it is cheap and worthless anymore. That being said, seeing multiple Dommes only increases your chances of finding someone to be with. Further, the question now begs to be asked: "Why did you not simply let them know up front that you were seeing multiple people in order to facilitate the right relationship?" After all, in the dating world it is not wrong to date multiple people until you find someone who is the most compatible. At that point, you simply focus solely on them.

< Message edited by Saint -- 6/17/2009 6:30:33 PM >

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RE: Loyalty - 6/17/2009 6:32:51 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sonnyb40

How much loyalty is expected out of a sub? Is it rude to see multiple Dommes?

That's actually an excellent question.

Come on ladies....give it up....how come it's always ok for a woman to have multiple suitors....but if a man does it....he's thrown to the curb?

Hmmmmmm?

(in reply to sonnyb40)

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RE: Loyalty - 6/17/2009 6:36:25 PM

Lockit

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Cause we wear the caps... and tell you lower caser's what to do!

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RE: Loyalty - 6/17/2009 6:42:21 PM

Venatrix

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For me, there's a difference between dating and submission. So, yes, dating multiple partners is fine. Dominating someone who was also being dominated by someone else wouldn't hold any interest for me. By the time I get to the stage of wanting to dominate someone, there has to be a significant connection. So, when it comes to domination and playtime, he either submits to me exclusively or not at all.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

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RE: Loyalty - 6/17/2009 6:43:39 PM

CatdeMedici

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: sonnyb40

How much loyalty is expected out of a sub? Is it rude to see multiple Dommes?

That's actually an excellent question.

Come on ladies....give it up....how come it's always ok for a woman to have multiple suitors....but if a man does it....he's thrown to the curb?

Hmmmmmm?

Its what We do with them that makes the difference, do we need to go back to the long red fingernail being dragged across your naked torso again?

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"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

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RE: Loyalty - 6/17/2009 6:52:46 PM

LyraLaLaurie