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RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 3:04:22 PM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know what to make of this. You tried to hurt yourself and then you reconnected with some old flame, then you want to be part of your husband's new adventure, but then he went off for a week to be with a person who supposedly doesn't know anything about him and is now nowhere to be found and are you an idiot? Maybe I am the idiot for spending any time thinking about this. It doesn't make sense, any of it. Particularly the part where you act as if you are unfamiliar with BDSM, D/s, etc. but identify as a "Switch".

Good luck with figuring out this mess, anyone.

vv

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 3:07:50 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

littlewonder...
stop sounding so pathetic.

After seeing littlewonder and her not only hawt and yummy, but obviously loving Master in action, i can tell you....she is far from pathetic. Usually, i don't get involved in this sort of thing but i read this and just thought, "Take it back!!!" LOL

i don't think you meant it in the nastiest way possible, but it just seems uncalled for.



< Message edited by lronitulstahp -- 6/16/2009 3:08:59 PM >

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to sweetgirlserves)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 4:02:25 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

i assumed this forum would be appropriate for this situation because it does involve BDSM, D/s, and alternate lifestyles.


No, you're not an idiot, you did what you had to do to keep the family in one piece. Had you come here when this began happening I'd have told you your marriage was over, then, and you'd have tried anyway.

Pull up your vanilla socks, make nice to hubby, gather evidence for court, find a lawyer, make a clean break. If you need to, find a support group and make some friends there.

And please: this has nothing to do with BDSM, D/s, and alternate lifestyles. Nada. Your husband has gone and found hisself another woman, happens every day. Forget the labels. You're young enough, build yourself a new future. NOW!! GO!! (Since you're vanilla I can't say "go, bitch!", but you get the idea  )

(in reply to VanillaWife666)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 4:34:10 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanillaWife666
who by the way has no knowledge that he's married and has two kids.
D/s relationships are based on trust. So, he's started the relationship with her off with a lie.

On some level, she's probably aware that something isn't right.

For you: You need to sit down and figure out what you need, what you want and what you can tolerate. You need to be logical about illogical things. Then you need to communicate that with him. Yes, you allowed him to do this, but that doesn't mean that there shouldn't be ground rules. I'd start with, "You need to tell her that you're married with two kids."

You didn't sign up for this marriage to be miserable. If you're not getting what you need and he's not meeting your requests, I would suggest taking a good hard look at moving on to someone that will.


< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/16/2009 4:36:03 PM >

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(in reply to VanillaWife666)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 5:03:18 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanillaWife666

My husband and i have been married for 13 years and have two children. Over the last 6-7 years, we've stopped having anything to talk about and just got stuck into a rut. About 8 months ago, my husband came to me and asked if he could start a BDSM relationship online with a woman. At the time, I thought that it wouldn't hurt to have him explore the lifestyle and make new friends. However, he and the woman got very close and he started having feelings for her even though he assures me that he could never love her the way he loves me and he would never want to leave me for anyone. The first time he left to go and meet her at a half-way point in between our two cities for a weekend in April, i didn't take it to well. i got severely depressed and cried the entire time and even tried to hurt myself. When he got back and continued talking with her online and on the phone, i started seeing the man that i fell in love with 13 years ago and realized that i missed him immensly. so i sat him down and said that i wanted to be a part of his new lifestyle and find ways to not only save our marriage but to build something new. it's been extremely difficult for me still because he still chats, texts, and calls her daily but he is making attempts to spend more time with me.
He left yesterday to spend a week with her and now i haven't heard a word from him, nothing to say that he arrived alright or anything. i'm also having a lot of thoughts about the two of them together and it has destroyed my heart in ways that i don't know if it can be repaired. he asked me months ago if i wanted him to dump the other woman, who by the way has no knowledge that he's married and has two kids. i told him that she is the reason for making him feel alive again, that she is the innocent party in this situation and it would not be fair to her at all. so i told him that i wouldn't give him an ultimatum because i allowed all of this in the first place.
My question is "am i a complete and utter idiot for letting it get this far or what should i do?"  please help me, i assumed this forum would be appropriate for this situation because it does involve BDSM, D/s, and alternate lifestyles.


There's a lot here and I'm going to try to be helpful without missing anything.  I'm going to cover a lot, so if I'm not quite clear, please feel free to message Me on the other side. 

Just a quick bit about Me so you know that I'm not just throwing out hypotheticals, I'm a married Domme who happens to own a married submissive.  I've spent a lot of time and effort in this poly situation so that we would not have any party going through exactly the burden that you are experiencing right now.  I've been on both sides of this.  First, as the woman who wanted to get back to a BDSM lifestyle after marrying a vanilla partner (i.e., the part where someone 'feels alive again'), introducing a vanilla spouse to all of this, and dealing with the other vanilla spouse who has no interest.

I happen to think you were very gracious in allowing your other half to start exploring online.  For many, that can be a safe way to bring up those yearnings that they aren't yet prepared to deal with concerning their spouse.  It can be a gateway for what the two of you would like to explore together, if you should so chose.  Where the mistake was made was that you should have been included, in some form, of what was turning your husband's crank about all this.  From what you've written here, you had no involvement or information about what he was doing.  That kept you in the dark, even though you were seeing some of the benefits.

This goes for the Dominant that your husband became involved with as well.  If she doesn't know about you, your family, and your boundaries, she isn't fully aware, either.  Without that knowledge, she doesn't really have the ability to consent.  I would say that it is more than past time that she have that choice. 

OK.  So how do you fix this?  My first recommendation is for you to do a little research.  I highly suggest the book "When Someone You Love Is Kinky."  I don't know what your interest is in this lifestyle on your own, but this book can help you to understand why your husband is interested in all of this.  It will also give you a common ground in terminology so you can discuss these things openly and honestly with him on the same level.  It will allow you to speak the same language.  Unlike your post, I honestly believe that you have quite a bit to talk about, and it's time you started.

Next, come to some decisions of your own of whether or not you would be interested in doing these things with your husband.  Would you be willing to Dominate your husband if that is what he feels he needs?  Are you willing to try?  Is there any interest on your behalf?  These are all questions that only you can answer.  How I would attempt to help you would depend on these things and many other factors.

One thing that is very important.  The thoughts of hurting yourself.....  Stop that right now!  Such things are a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  One you can fix, no matter what the outcome.  You have children in the home and they have to come first.  Many people will be willing to help you, but only if you get your priorities straight.  None of this is worth more than the little people in your home. 

Your feelings are valid.  I know it can seem like an impossible task to talk with your husband about all of them, but I know you can do it.  The fact that you came here looking for help speaks volumes. 




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VanillaWife666)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 5:11:00 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

You tried to hurt yourself and then you reconnected with some old flame

Uh, VV? The part where she says "I started seeing the man I fell in love with 13 years ago" is referring to her husband, not some old flame.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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(in reply to velvetvixen)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 5:20:56 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		a very slippery slope here..on one hand your allowing him to explore, to fulfill his needs..on the other hand..its either time to join him in the play..or be prepared to lose him ....only you can chose if your life[and love with him] is worth a change....

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 5:39:12 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetgirlserves


Well... he's not a lying, cheating... etc.   He was honest and upfront with you.   And honestly, i know others may disagree.. but this might all end up being a very healthy, good thing for your relationship with him in the long run, but it could make some major changes as to what that relationship entails. 

He went looking for something he needed that he wasn't getting from the marriage.  That might sound harsh, but it is true...  he has some base needs that the marriage wasn't fulfilling.  He didn't sneak behind your back and have an affair.  He was honest about those needs and he is seeking out a way of fulfilling them.   He has already confirmed to you how important you are to him and that he is not looking to replace you.    You fulfill an important role in his life.   

Personally, no, i don't think you are an idiot to let it go this far... but there is a lot you can both learn about yourselves and each other, and ways you can grow individually and as a couple if you are willing to be more open minded than the confines of a traditional vanilla marriage frame of mind might allow you to.

If you are willing to open your mind and be flexible, and work through things... you may both end up much happier together... because it doesn't sound like your marriage was heading in any positive direction prior to this. 

~sgs




Between this and the incredible wisdom that LP has shared all I'm going to add is that I completely agree. Opening yourself up, and your marriage, is difficult on the best days. Communicate... a lot. And then communicate more. Be honest and open with your husband. He says you are the most important to him, don't you think it's possible that he means it?

Yeah, it's a shiny new toy, of course he's gonna play with it all he can, but hon, there's nothing wrong with being old faithful, yanno? My marriage is open (in a round-about sort of way). My husband has an incredible sex drive and I have none. So to me, it's only fair that he be able to find "satisfaction" elsewhere. That doesn't mean that our marriage is doomed, in fact, it's unbreakable. Your husband, if he has any sense at all, will kiss the ground you walk on for being a big enough, and secure enough, woman to allow him this "distraction". And in the mean time, explore what it is that he needs or wants, who knows, it may be a good fit for you as well!!

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to sweetgirlserves)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 6:00:46 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, I'm having a very hard time getting a fix on you.

First you agreed to let him open the relationship.  It sounds almost as though you didn't even care about the marriage at the time.

Then when you saw how much time he spent with the other woman, you got upset.  Evidently you felt it was your responsibility to keep your emotions from him.  The fact that you tried to hurt yourself backs that up - in my experience, self-injurers internalize bad feelings and hurt themselves rather than open up.

So what do you do?

Therapy's the obvious answer.  But he might well not go for it.  He's got a wife and a shiny new woman on the side - he may be happy as a clam and see no reason to muck it up.

Speak to him.  Ask if there's anything you can do to make him feel happier at home.  Try to schedule some activities with him - go out to eat, go for walks.  Try to reinject the old magic.

Spend time with your kids.  They are terrified that Daddy has lost all interest in them and Mommy can't cope.  Let them know that you'll spend time with them, and happy time, not just crying jag time.  See if your husband will spend family time with them and you, too.

Good luck.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 6:10:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Honestly, I'd go talk to a divorce lawyer about your options and I'd tell him that when/if he returns. Not calling, giving you no way to contact him in case of an emergency is a really shitty thing to do. What if one of the kids had to be hospitalized? His selfishness is showing.

I find it fascinating that as long as he was interested in you, you weren't interested in him. It's only when he's become emotionally distant and a selfish pig that you get interested. That coupled with the self harm shows you need therapy. Not for the marriage, but for yourself.

Now some people can remain friendly in a marriage while not engaging sexually with each other. If you think that's an option, then start looking for a friend for yourself. And make it clear to him that you aren't going to be stuck with all the boring life details while he's chatting/fucking others. He gets to stay home and take out the garbage while you get to go out and date, etc.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 6:44:30 PM   
oceanwinds


Posts: 530
Status: offline 		Hello VanillaWife
By what you wrote both you and your husband have discussed his entrance into BDSM.  Neither of you considered the girl he became involved with. This in itself speaks of a selfishness on both of your part and lack of concern for another getting hurt in this whole mess. Just taking this part, this whole BDSM relationship he has is built on a lie that will break any trust, when it is discovered by her. Trust and truth are essential attributes in this lifestyle. He does not seem to care about that, so I do not even consider him a good Dom.

Now, I didnt check your profile, but if you are in the states, why isn't he home with Father's day coming around the corner. Even if he comes home in time, this is a special week for the children. He is a father and his s-type isnt even aware of that.

I cannot suggest how to fix your relationship, since it is not my place. Seems to be a lot of lying going on with everyone. You are lying about your emotions, both of you are lying that this is causing a hamper in your marriage and the s-type is being lied too and backed by you.

What do you want is the question? Can you live with these lies that you are contributing too? Nothing seems valid here and trust and faith are only an illusion.  Sometimes when we are living an illusion it is hard to walk away. But everything has been shattered already, and nothing is holding the structure together of your marriage or his BDSM relationship. Figured out what you want and go from there. Even if you decide to keep going on as is, remember you are not an innocent party and someone is being hurt by all this.

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 6:49:03 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanillaWife666

My husband and i have been married for 13 years and have two children. Over the last 6-7 years, we've stopped having anything to talk about and just got stuck into a rut. About 8 months ago, my husband came to me and asked if he could start a BDSM relationship online with a woman. At the time, I thought that it wouldn't hurt to have him explore the lifestyle and make new friends. However, he and the woman got very close and he started having feelings for her even though he assures me that he could never love her the way he loves me and he would never want to leave me for anyone. The first time he left to go and meet her at a half-way point in between our two cities for a weekend in April, i didn't take it to well. i got severely depressed and cried the entire time and even tried to hurt myself. When he got back and continued talking with her online and on the phone, i started seeing the man that i fell in love with 13 years ago and realized that i missed him immensly. so i sat him down and said that i wanted to be a part of his new lifestyle and find ways to not only save our marriage but to build something new. it's been extremely difficult for me still because he still chats, texts, and calls her daily but he is making attempts to spend more time with me.
He left yesterday to spend a week with her and now i haven't heard a word from him, nothing to say that he arrived alright or anything. i'm also having a lot of thoughts about the two of them together and it has destroyed my heart in ways that i don't know if it can be repaired. he asked me months ago if i wanted him to dump the other woman, who by the way has no knowledge that he's married and has two kids. i told him that she is the reason for making him feel alive again, that she is the innocent party in this situation and it would not be fair to her at all. so i told him that i wouldn't give him an ultimatum because i allowed all of this in the first place.
My question is "am i a complete and utter idiot for letting it get this far or what should i do?"  please help me, i assumed this forum would be appropriate for this situation because it does involve BDSM, D/s, and alternate lifestyles.



IMO, that's your husband and your relationship is far more important than any "other" relationship he could forge with another woman. I dont think you are changing the script on him, therefore you shouldn't feel guilty to ask what you feel you need to nurture your relationship or even for your own well being.  How come she doesn't know he's married? Thats a cause for disaster, I think.  I think it's great that you would atleast like to try/incorporate his 'lifestyle' needs into your relationship.
If you are still indifferent then I guess there's no harm but if its anything else, talk to him and fix your relationship.  If he has to put the "innocent" party on hold or let her go, he should be responsible about the way he goes about it, but you shouldn't carry any guilt over that.
Wish you luck

_____________________________

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

(in reply to VanillaWife666)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 7:22:48 PM   
scarlethiney


Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

littlewonder...
stop sounding so pathetic.


sweetgirlserves, might want to re-read that Mother Teresa quote on your profile and have someone explain to you what loving kindness means.

Op, you have all the answers you could ever need in these posts. Ultimately, you have to listen to  your own heart. I think you already have and just needed confirmation for what your feeling.



< Message edited by scarlethiney -- 6/16/2009 7:35:25 PM >

_____________________________

"The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you." - A.L. Kitselman.


see my profile masterkspet

(in reply to sweetgirlserves)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 7:42:02 PM   
VanillaWife666


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/16/2009
Status: offline 		He's the Dominant, she's the submissive and I'm trying to be His submissive. We have tried BDSM before, with me being the Domme and He being the sub, but neither of us were comfortable in those roles. I've been a submissive before but to a very bad and abusive Dom (not Him) and i'm finding what my limits are.
He kept me apprised of everything that was going on with the two of them, let me read the emails, the texts, and i would sit next to Him as he talked with her on the phone.
But now that He and i are beginning to get close again, i'm extremely jealous of their relationship. He says He loves her but not the same way that He loves me, He says that He doesn't want to leave me ever and that He has no intention of marrying her or anyone else.

(in reply to scarlethiney)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 8:00:17 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

Were you here before under a different ID? Profile says you're a switch, but your moniker states you're vanilla and seeing that it's your first day here, just trying to figure out how you thought to come here and post in the first place.  Were you once into BDSM, or active, but taking a break? If you were once and aren't anymore, do you feel any responsibility to the "innocent party", considering she is being misled???? 

Please forgive me if i sound as if i think you're here under false pretenses...there are just alot of "first day on CM first time posters" that disappear quite quickly after starting threads....mysteriously, never to be heard from again.  It's like the BDSM Triangle.


tulip, I'm shocked that not everything at CM is at it seems! Shocked, I say!

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 8:00:18 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		How can you love someone and lie to them... setting them up for pain?  What a mess! 

_____________________________

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(in reply to VanillaWife666)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 8:09:46 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		He is lying to his wife, he is lying to the other woman... what a charmer. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 8:31:03 PM   
scarlethiney


Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanillaWife666

He's the Dominant, she's the submissive and I'm trying to be His submissive. We have tried BDSM before, with me being the Domme and He being the sub, but neither of us were comfortable in those roles. I've been a submissive before but to a very bad and abusive Dom (not Him) and i'm finding what my limits are.
He kept me apprised of everything that was going on with the two of them, let me read the emails, the texts, and i would sit next to Him as he talked with her on the phone.
But now that He and i are beginning to get close again, i'm extremely jealous of their relationship. He says He loves her but not the same way that He loves me, He says that He doesn't want to leave me ever and that He has no intention of marrying her or anyone else.




I am having a hard time understanding why you would willingly be party to a deception involving someone else? Karma is a real thing. 
Have you not thought of how devastated this young woman will be when she finds out that not only is the man she is involved with married,  but married with children and not only is he being deceptive, but his wife has full knowledge, consent, and is participating in this deception along with him? 
If you were having problems in your marriage before this, bringing another person into this situation is not going to fix your marriage. Neither is it going to fix the two of you. You have taken a bad situation between you and  your husband and compounded it by adding another person who can only because of both of  your deceptions and selfishness be hurt.
You both need some serious counseling, some growing up and some humility. You want every one to tell you what to do???.................Do the right thing, stop participating in the lie.



_____________________________

"The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you." - A.L. Kitselman.


see my profile masterkspet

(in reply to VanillaWife666)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 8:47:56 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		He's not lying to his wife. She knows all about what is going on (Obviously, since she's told us all about it, including the fact that she and him discuss everything about it). Granted, the other woman doesn't, and I think she should. But, the main issue here is that nillawife has found a new and exciting interest in a long time partner that had lost it's spark a long time ago and she doesn't know how to deal with the emotions that come along with that. It's tough nillawife, it really is, what you are feeling is a burst of insecurity and that's something that you need to talk to him about, nothing we say is gonna fix that issue. He may not have done anything to cause these emotions to stir, or he may have caused it inadvertently and doesn't realize the hell you are going through right now. Share that with him, in a calm manner. You could even explain that what you are going through could be the "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" thing, not that he's gone, but in your eyes he's damn close to it.

It sounds like you two have good communication but in this instance, partially because of the negative emotions you are feeling, you don't seem to want to be the one to rain on his parade, so to speak. But ask yourself a few questions... Would he be unhappy if he knew that you were terribly upset and didn't share it with him? Is it fair to him (or you) for you to think the depressing things you've been thinking and not seek out your life partner for aid? You really need to get past the fear of bringing these issues up with him. It sounds like he's the type of person that would be open to talking about it with you and helping you to resolve the problems.

But, honestly... if this type of relationship is going to continue I believe the other woman needs to be told the whole truth... Put yourself in her shoes. You meet someone you love spending time with, they come over and spend the occasional weekend and even the occasional week, they call and talk to you from home.. All the things a woman looks for when trying to decide if he is married and cheating are not there so in her eyes he's fair game. How would you feel if you were to find out that the man you've been seeing and have deep feelings for is married and totally unavailable? Surprisingly enough, a lot of females don't mind the married man so long as it isn't a cheating married man, but they do want to know up front. No one likes to be lied to, not even a lie of omission.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Have a situation that I don't know what to do with - 6/16/2009 8:56:50 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		He has her, who do you have? Could you live with an open marriage where you BOTH have another person in your lives? If not then perhaps you may want to consider parting ways and finding someone who wants to be with you and only you. It sounds to me like things have crumbled away to nothing. Your hanging onto a past that you may not be able to resurrect.

Take care of yourself.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to VanillaWife666)
Profile   Post #: 40
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