RE: Physical strength and D/s

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/30/2009 10:20:19 PM

DemonKia

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From: Chico, Nor-Cali
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& since I'm 90 miles north of Sac, & a coupla hundred miles northeast of SF, smack dab in the middle of Northern Cali, I'm speaking from the experience of living in the middle of all that -- still don't see people carrying guns around. Yeah, farmers & people living in the hills / mountains have guns in their homes. But they're not visibly carrying them around the streets of Redding or Gridley or Orland or Chico or Oroville or any of the other small towns & cities I've spent quite a bit of time in.

When I was a kid there was a lot more of that guns-in-the-gunrack-in-the-truck thing around here, but I don't see that anymore. & I do look for it, incidental to my day-to-day. I notice gun racks, I just don't ever see guns in them. Lots of trucks & SUVs in this part of the world. Lots fewer gun-racks, for that matter.

(Just for the context of it, my extended family have farmed here for over 50 years . . . . . I've grown up around gun-owners, & when my dad was in the military he took me target shooting with him a few times. It was a fun childhood memory . . . . . )

I just want to not 'have' to own a gun, & to not have it be implied that I'm 'asking for it' because I don't . . . . . Which is an implication derivable from some of what's been said in this thread on the subject.

&, hey, Anda, this isn't directed at you, it's part of the general convo, jus' to be clear . . .

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia
here in Cali guns are not so casually accepted,

I bet I can name some parts of california where guns are casually accepted.

I agree, in most of the rural parts of CA, people with livestock, or who go hunting, routinely have guns. I grew up and still live in the Bay Area, and I've gone shooting several times with my aunt (who is also a Bay Area native) and her husband, and with some friends who also grew up here. One of my housemates has several awards for target shooting - I still think it's a hoot that he's a Buddhist NRA member! Guns certainly aren't as much of the general culture as they are in some other parts of the country, but I haven't had the impression that they were that much of a rarity, either. If anything, I'd have thought they'd be more common up in the area surrounding Sacramento and the rest of the state east and north of there than they are closer to San Francisco.

I haven't personally felt the need to own one, and I don't feel I am experienced enough to have any point in owning one. If another friend or relative wanted me to go out target shooting with them, and I wasn't otherwise occupied, then sure, I'd go along, but it's not something I specifically feel driven to learn.

I *did* learn martial arts in part for self-defense, but I'm very much aware that I don't know enough to be likely to be able to hold off a truly determined attacker, especially if he or she had a weapon.

< Message edited by DemonKia -- 6/30/2009 10:21:20 PM >

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/1/2009 8:30:22 AM

Andalusite

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Huh? I didn't get that message from any of the posts. Nobody is saying that you need to buy a gun, and I agree with Panda that since you have depression, you and anyone you live with should not own one, just in case. I believe in CA it is illegal to carry a gun openly, unless you are a police officer. When we went shooting, the guns were in a locked case, unloaded, or we rented one from the shooting range while we were there. There are some bad parts of SF, but carrying a gun to them wouldn't be practical even if I had a cc permit and knew how to shoot well - going dancing carrying one seems a little awkward/asking for an accident, and I'm pretty sure that the local BDSM dungeons do not want anyone bringing one there.

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/1/2009 8:59:16 AM

alanswhore

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quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

when women enter into marriages (which they do willingly) and choose to have children (again, which they do willingly) they are making a choice that says the role of wife/mother is greater than that of occupational success. having to forfeit years of their life to family makes it impossible for most women to enter into and stay into certain fields that change quickly over time (the hard sciences, research, law) or achieve posts that take a long time to reach (female partners, executives) etc.

...I was unaware that the choice to marry and have children suddenly only involved women. Silly me, thinking that men get married and raise families, too!

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/1/2009 5:21:29 PM

Alanshoreisgod

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quote:

ORIGINAL: alanswhore

...I was unaware that the choice to marry and have children suddenly only involved women. Silly me, thinking that men get married and raise families, too!

Bitch, get back in the kitchen, and I better not find you READING.

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/1/2009 5:51:03 PM

alanswhore

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alanshoreisgod

quote:

ORIGINAL: alanswhore

...I was unaware that the choice to marry and have children suddenly only involved women. Silly me, thinking that men get married and raise families, too!

Bitch, get back in the kitchen, and I better not find you READING.

Aw, sir.... *scuffs foot, makes puppy-dog eyes*

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/1/2009 5:57:13 PM

Alanshoreisgod

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And that better be a bare foot too!

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/1/2009 6:02:24 PM

alanswhore

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alanshoreisgod

And that better be a bare foot too!

....just so long as I don't have to be pregnant. :-p

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/2/2009 2:44:47 AM

variation30

Posts: 1190
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From: Alabama
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quote:

ORIGINAL: alanswhore

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

when women enter into marriages (which they do willingly) and choose to have children (again, which they do willingly) they are making a choice that says the role of wife/mother is greater than that of occupational success. having to forfeit years of their life to family makes it impossible for most women to enter into and stay into certain fields that change quickly over time (the hard sciences, research, law) or achieve posts that take a long time to reach (female partners, executives) etc.

...I was unaware that the choice to marry and have children suddenly only involved women. Silly me, thinking that men get married and raise families, too!

you'd be correct, men are involved as well. however, I think we will find in practice that women will take on most of the housework (there are, obviously, exceptions to this statement). as much as some people might not to admit it, biology makes egalitarianism a revolt against nature. men cannot birth children. if a woman decides to have a child, at the very least she is going to have to take off from work for that. and we also have to look at the fact that most women willingly choose to do the majority of the traditionally female roles in child rearing. perhaps this is because if a woman wants to have multiple children (even if she only takes off time for the latter months of the pregnancies), this could hamper her career if she were in a highly competitive field and dynamic field - and those are the fields that tend to pay more.

I'm reminded of an interview that delves into this a bit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EK6Y1X_xa4&feature=fvste2

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/2/2009 7:59:35 AM

LadyNTrainer

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Physical strength is personally important to me; that is why I am a powerlifter. I can lift more than most untrained men, though of course men who are much physically larger than me (I'm fairly small) and trained can significantly outlift me.

It can be a component of D/s for me, and I do enjoy brutal physical dominance, rough body play, etc. But responsible leadership in a relationship as well as sexual dominance is not based on brute force, but on ability and desire. Brute force alone cannot achieve responsible leadership. It may be a buttress to it, or an initial aid, but it won't keep the position if you can't otherwise do a genuinely good job as a leader. If nothing else, you gotta sleep sometime.

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/2/2009 12:59:58 PM

DesFIP

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I'm still trying to figure out how you play golf at night. Do they make glow in the dark balls?

Beyond that, I don't need a gun. If a bear tries to break in, I'm going to call my local forest ranger who only lives ten minutes away and he can get out of bed to come shoot it. Me? I'm gonna drive away screaming my fool head off.

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/2/2009 7:01:26 PM

Andalusite

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During the summer, it doesn't get dark until quite late, although they might close before then. I've played miniature golf in the dark a couple of times, since they have lights up for it. I guess you can throw golf balls at the bear?

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 7/2/2009 7:02:08 PM >

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/9/2009 4:24:30 PM

herbcaroll

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I've never been beaten by a woman physically stronger than I am. It would be cool, but that isn't what it is about.

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/20/2009 8:55:15 PM

strokesoncam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

In the "Dominant woman" thread over in P&RS, the poster argued that women should be submissive because men are stronger. I've seen some similar stuff over in the Gorean thread.

I'm not looking now, but when I was, I *did* want a man who was strong enough to be able to spot me in my gymnastics practice, playfight/wrestle with, etc., whether he was dominant, submissive, top, or bottom. I'm really strong relative to my size and gender, so I do have to be a bit careful sometimes, but all of the guys I've dated loved that, and didn't feel it made me less feminine. Anyway, there are plenty of men who are far stronger than I am, but who I don't react to on a D/s basis at all. One of my former friends picked me up, sitting in the palm of his hand, straight over my head, and threw me about 10 feet across the swimming pool. Sure, he could "make me" do something, if he were so inclined, but that has nothing to do with consensual D/s.

Anyway, how important is physical strength in your relationships?

Part of what turns me on about being dominated is being controlled by a "weak" woman. For the purposes of this discussion I will say that I am active in powerlifting and am quite strong, in fact at one point I went as far as to lift my ex up with one hand (guess where it was) which she loved, but even being capable of that nothing turned me on more than she, a petite 5'4" former ballerina, ordered me to strip naked and present my balls to her for discipline.

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 7/21/2009 11:47:06 AM

Audaciter

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I prefer submitting to women that are remarkably smaller and weaker than myself (not hard considering I am 6' 3" and lift regularly) I feel a greater sense of devotion. A good portion of my submission is a desire to be a protector. I like knowing that i can and will protect the woman i submit to should the need arise...the fact that she commands me even though i could snap her in two is an extremely large turn on for me.

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