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what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 5:58:48 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline

I need your advice, I know I written about this before but now I have talked to the Dom, and heres his answers,
hes telling me...
youre a slave and youre owned, and its without limits, you cant make any demands. You dont own your Dom.
if I have any deseases you might get you have to accept it. if I have countless others you have to accept it.
faithfulness for a slave is to be obedient and sincere.faithfulness for a Dom is to still be Master for his slave and to be serious about his role.
yes he sees once in a while others and so it will be in the future as well.(what the --does he mean by that?)
hes got no deseases since hes got tested since last time,but hey cant we all just say.
there is more but this is the replies I got. what do you think.
I mean, he has forbidden me to have others,but we have never talked about it,and now hes telling me hes seeing others once in a while. have to ask what that means. but as you read at first, he mean I have to accept as many he is doing,sort of. That would be fine,if we had talked about it,but we have not!
so,what is your suggestions to how I handle this?
and dont mock me,this is a serious problem now.

Post #: 1

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:01:29 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

It's actually very simple. You have raised your issues and he heard them. He then told you that he is unwilling to change.

So you now have two choices - you can accept things the way he wants them, or you can leave.

I know which course I would take. (Hint: there are other Doms out there.)

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 2

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:05:59 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline

He has never told me this before now,I asked, Im just wondering what that seeing others once in a while means. it could have several meanings,and not the "worst" one.
I hook myself more in that he didnt told me before I ask, because I want to make a descision on full information not half.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 3

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:07:29 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

.... which was a polite way to say my response

*snorts iced coffee then falls on the floor laughing*

And no monaslave. I am not mocking you. I'm mocking him. For you, I agree with DarkSteven's advice. You have a choice to make. I encourage you to choose wisely.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 4

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:08:29 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline

one thing more,i wouldnt accepted he played around with others-or that mayyybe,just maybe,depending on attachments- but definitely not me beeing slave in a harem.
so that I will have to find out. but it might be a tricky one,its not sure he will tell me that straight out,so how do I twist the question right?
I mean,he told me hes seeing, but he doesnt tell me what that means. you see?

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 5

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:09:15 PM

PeterJay

Posts: 1220
Joined: 9/24/2006
Status: offline

I agree with Steven. You have no limits and can not make any demands, but he's willing to put your health at risk? Is your life worth more than that? Seems to me like he's not putting your safety first.

_____________________________

People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. J. Morrison

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 6

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:10:14 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

You either stay and suck it up or you leave. Simple really.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 7

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:10:49 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I know you asked not to be mocked, but come on now. You are 35 years old and you can't possibly say that this is a "real" problem. If you don't want to contact diseases (and that is the spelling for the word btw) then don't put yourself at risk. It's really that simple. You need to start asking yourself what the "real" questions are, such as why do you think that someone who isn't in your daily physical life can make these things so complex for you.

Would you honestly be asking these same questions if the person involved was a boyfriend, rather than a Dom?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 8

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:12:02 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline

for those of you,that are spiritually interested it might be interesting last time we were together he wanted me to paint a mark on my leg with crayons,I did,the mark came and went,and when he contacted me again,it blossom,but looked like a burn instead,and its no way I can get that mark off my leg! yes,it looks like a burn. he says its because its meant to be. the guy even wants to do a bonding ritual, that would permanently bind us! for eternity! it might sound strange to some,but for those spiritual minded we know it works. so,he says its a sign,that its meant to be,and he also talks all time how fond and happy he is about me. it is me thats taken it slow,asked him too,as well,just because I dont know the guy properly yet. but this is bad.

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 9

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:12:57 PM

Drakontos

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

In MY relationship; if I choose to see others, that is my perogative. I do not need zaphira's consent, agreement, or permission to do so.
On her side; she is not allowed to be with, talk with, or interact with others unless I say it is ok.
She's property; I own her. Nothing more, and nothing less.
This is MY relationship though; and zaphira knew the conditions that would be placed on my ownership of her long before I ever collared her. She had the choice before that of staying or leaving.

As I said though; this is my relationship, and this is how I do things. It is not how everyone does things, and it is not how everyone would like their relationships to be. You need to find a relationship that works for you, one that you are comfortable in.

If you are not comfortable, or are doubting what he is telling you; then you are in the wrong relationship.

_____________________________

Drakontos
zaphira

Live with honor; serve with grace and beauty

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 10

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:13:09 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline

we are not talking about boyfriends,were talking about a different dynamic I dont think it can be compared

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 11

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:16:40 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave
the guy even wants to do a bonding ritual, that would permanently bind us! for eternity!

Mona, if you have studied the spiritual, you must know what happens if you cast a binding spell on someone innocent, who does not want to be bound. Do good things happen to the person who casts that spell, or bad things?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 12

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:18:40 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

so that I will have to find out. but it might be a tricky one,its not sure he will tell me that straight out,so how do I twist the question right?
I mean,he told me hes seeing, but he doesnt tell me what that means. you see?

mona, I tried to be coy before, but this post really bugs me. He obviously knows EXACTLY what your concern is. It is HIS responsibility as a Dom to explain exactly what the situation will be.

You're wondering how to phrase it so he cannot wiggle out.

The bottom line is that you feel that you cannot trust him. Walk.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 13

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:18:55 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

My question to the OP:

Is this the kind of Master/owner you really want?

You can un-choose and when you are ready, spend time getting to know someone before choosing again, so that you know you are with someone who matches your needs.

Being owned does not have to mean being with someone who is not going to care about you and care for you.

You don't have to give up having a relationship with someone who will have your best interests at heart.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 14

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:19:59 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline

well I understand how you mean, Drakontos, he never told me that was the conditions. I am sure you did with your slave. I have to ask,to get to know,and thats bad,technically speaking,because it is his responsibility to tell me. no matter what it is,what he demands of his slave. all I know he told me I was not to have others.
Then nothing. and we have talked so many things it was simply not time for me to catch my breath. otherwise I would had ask him much earlier, but thats not the point,its his responsibility telling me what his terms are. so,he might not even wanted to tell me. how do I know. now he doesnt tell me what he means with seeing others.it could mean everything,from casual play,old flames to vanila girlfriends to a harem! i just dont know. so i have to figure out. but still, he didnt tell me and does it technically again.

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 15

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:23:59 PM

Drakontos

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

I am sure you did with your slave.

On the contrary. What was discussed between us before she was collared was that she had no rights to dictate how my life would be. She had no rights to demand, expect, or assume that I would do or not do anything.

But that's neither here nor there. What's important is that zaphira was comfortable with this.
It's obvious that you are not comfortable with your relationship; therefore, changes need to be made.

_____________________________

Drakontos
zaphira

Live with honor; serve with grace and beauty

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 16

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:28:54 PM

naughtysubK

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/2/2004
Status: offline

at what point did you consent to be the slave of this man you have never actually met ? And you did not discuss these things before you consented to be his slave?

< Message edited by naughtysubK -- 6/21/2009 6:29:16 PM >

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 17

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:29:27 PM

LadySweetOrSour

Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline

I don't know the background of this story. You entered into a relationship without setting out the boundaries first? Is that right? If so, then you need to rethink what you are investing in. If this guy can take a slave so easily, he can easily and without morals, pass on a disease to you. Well and good if you have a death wish, or a fetish for severe medical problems, but otherwise, NO.

As for crayon marks turning into seemingly burnlike marks, have you heard of the word psychosomatic? If not, look it up.

My suggestion is walk away from this for a little while and think out the whole thing. You agreed to something, you did not agree to being bound for life to someone who has zero interest in your health and/or safety, mental and physical.

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 18

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:31:12 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

for those of you,that are spiritually interested it might be interesting last time we were together he wanted me to paint a mark on my leg with crayons,I did,the mark came and went,and when he contacted me again,it blossom,but looked like a burn instead,and its no way I can get that mark off my leg! yes,it looks like a burn.
Maybe its just an allergic reaction to the "crayon" you used. Why are you so bent on reading into this?

he says its because its meant to be. the guy even wants to do a bonding ritual, that would permanently bind us! for eternity!
Are you sure you're ready to bind yourself to someone you don't know? Why?

it might sound strange to some,but for those spiritual minded we know it works. so,he says its a sign,that its meant to be,and he also talks all time how fond and happy he is about me. it is me thats taken it slow,asked him too,as well,just because I dont know the guy properly yet. but this is bad.
I'm a spiritual-minded person and and this isn't something I'd take as a sign. Instead, I see this as someone who is pushing for something where nothing exists. You said yourself, you don't "know the guy properly"...why are you in such a tizzy and in such a rush with someone YOU DON'T KNOW?

Also...."yes he sees once in a while others and so it will be in the future as well.(what the --does he mean by that?)"
He means that he is and will continue to be involved with others...plain and simple. He's setting his ground rules.

I'm not mocking you, instead I'm asking the question you need to ask yourself....Why are you willing to submit to him?

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 19

RE: what shall I do with this? - 6/21/2009 6:36:33 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline

well I know that if you do magick etc with bad intent or intend to bind a person to you, I know that rule ´what you do comes back to you three times doubled´
(well some say only worse or get back and some say three times),and, that it will backfire on to you and it can also backfire all you associates. I wouldnt dare play with it like that. And I dont know if he has, but the man mix spirituality and bdsm. I dont know,how the mark got there, he says it surprised him as well.
anywayz, he didnt tell me his conditions, and he push me for a descision,not telling me also.

Drakontos, may I ask you, lets say,you hadnt told your slave about the conditions about you seeing others, what would you had react like,if later she would want to negotitate it? I ask you hypotetichally since you have the same outlook as this Dom of mine here. I am consious you are honorable enough not to act like he did,but lets just say hypotethically.

red magic, do you concider the bad comes to this Dom of mine now for not beeing upfront and honest?

Dark Steven, I know,its not,I just have to be sure what the hell he means with seeing others,since it can mean everything.

I have not experienced him like non caring..actually opposite,he asks me all time how I feel,how Im doing,how my life is,listening,talking..so he is caring. Hes just not told me the whole story.
I have not expected a relationship since Im thinking logically that you cant expect such thing happens right away, and especially if youve not talked about it. but I simply refuse be one slave in a harem,I can take some playdates or others, that I can take,but a harem,that is not what I seek thats for sure.

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 20

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