RE: Initiating contact with disrespect

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Initiating contact with disrespect

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect - 6/22/2009 10:32:10 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Men and women both seem to get this wrong. To me, it is a sign of personal insecurity. Ignoring them is the best tactic I've found. Calling them on it seems to just stir the shit pot.

Unless, of course, you are like me, and actually enjoy stirring the shitpot and watching them spin themselves into a frothy mouthed frenzy!

I keep telling you that we have more in common than you think. LOL.

quote:

I think if we ever meet, together we could have A LOT of fun......

Just thinking about the possibilities put a smile on my face.

Hey!! I want in on that!!!

And Daniel, I just read your profile and I think it's awesome. And no, I don't think it's a test, but if it is, then it isn't one that I'd be concerned about passing.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect - 6/22/2009 6:48:29 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: danielh

Hi, everyone. My first post here. I'm a little hesitant to ask, but I need to know this. I'm evolving and learning, protocol, etc.

I've been getting unsolicited contacts (usually good) from some Dommes here, giving me a bad time about my profile, don't like it, too long, too mental, etc.

Fuck 'em.

I understand my potential role, and why I'm here. I think I expressed what I mean. I'm relationship oriented so it seems right to reveal who I am and what I feel. I've been getting some really helpful, and well intended feedback, which I appreciate. When someone you don't know offers to help you get where you want to be, that's good energy. Some very awesome women here.

My question is... when a Domme initiates contact with critical words, nothing constructive or positive... is this a test? I'm not seeing anything in my profile that should annoy a stranger.

I'm not speaking of being challenged or a little pressure. I expect that, it's my opportunity to show who I am and what I'm made of. You're the Domme, I understand that. I can take it.

I should just disregard... but I don't. I respond, and not positively. Unsolicited rudeness... it's not working for me.

Comments?

Thank you for reading me.

daniel

(in reply to danielh)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect - 6/22/2009 9:04:01 PM

danielh

Posts: 22
Joined: 3/21/2008
Status: offline

Thanks to each of you for jumping in and offering me your views. I've been called or "titled" a few things by strangers, maybe makes me cringe a little, but that's power (and it's not mine), that's all good, keeps my attention focused, that's why I'm here.

I like to be there for a woman that appreciates me, it just feels good. (I read the "Loyalty" thread...I am going to be a good boy). The foot massage I have down, definitely. The rack... not yet.

Opening a message and reading "You're an idiot"... where did that come from? That was the basis of my question, and it's been well answered.

I'd like to start with coffee or dinner, not necessarily the rack. I'd join a community and go play if that was all I wanted. I'm not focusing on the D/s in my mind. It's the Domme. Sounds so normal to me... and I know some of you will think I'm full of shit. I understand that completely.

A kiss is the place that looks like the real challenge to reach... definitely. it won't be easy, I know I have to earn that... big time, but that's where I'm going ("a sub...who seeks... a kiss...??? You're an idiot!" Oh boy, here it comes...).

You could beat me, I'd know I was amusing you. A kiss... a whole new level (any young guys reading this? Think about it). That's pride.

Maybe I'm reaching for the moon here... but it's there. That's why I'm Asking a Mistress... and had some very awesome women respond... (and crack me up).

Thank you.

daniel

< Message edited by danielh -- 6/22/2009 9:15:43 PM >

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect - 6/23/2009 4:46:15 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Men and women both seem to get this wrong. To me, it is a sign of personal insecurity. Ignoring them is the best tactic I've found. Calling them on it seems to just stir the shit pot.

Unless, of course, you are like me, and actually enjoy stirring the shitpot and watching them spin themselves into a frothy mouthed frenzy!

I keep telling you that we have more in common than you think. LOL.

quote:

I think if we ever meet, together we could have A LOT of fun......

Just thinking about the possibilities put a smile on my face.

Hey!! I want in on that!!!

And Daniel, I just read your profile and I think it's awesome. And no, I don't think it's a test, but if it is, then it isn't one that I'd be concerned about passing.

Jewel

Both of you do know that I'm driving through in just a few weeks, right?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect - 6/23/2009 6:32:16 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

daniel, your last post told me more than the first.

I haven't yet had a woman complain about ANY man that he was too romance-oriented and that he deemphasized the interlocking of naughty bits.

I'm with Kia. Those contacts were from men. Any genuine Domme looking for simple play and no romance is too damn busy right now to waste time writing you and namecalling.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect - 6/23/2009 8:47:34 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

OK so I joined the queue and perved the profile. (Am I just getting too cynical to wonder if this was a clever way of getting Dommes to perv the profile? In which case, it was more creative than most!).

It's rather wordy ... I mean, I like writing and reading ... but this is a bit excessive, mainly because it's repetitive. However, I do understand where you're coming from daniel, you're clearly trying to get it straight in your mind and this is pretty much stream-of-consciousness stuff. Could probably do with a tidy up to take out the similar statements, pick the one that says it best and leave the rest. Look a bit more carefully at the flow, group topics into paragraphs etc. I think it could be drawn together into an excellent profile. However, something to think about adding would be what you think you would bring to the relationship ... what skills, attributes might be useful and attractive to a Domme?

What I did like was that you are clearly not a "do me" type (and how refreshing is that!) and you're seeking a relationship rather than a session. Awesome! Now can you just move to Australia?? I could understand Dommes writing with constructive criticism (as I have just done I hope), but anyone opening with "you're an idiot" isn't likely to BE a Domme ... or if She is, you wouldn't want to meet Her anyway as She's clearly not for you!

Good luck and KEEP THINKING! It's a turn on for a lot of Us!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to danielh)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect - 6/23/2009 11:16:51 AM

danielh

Posts: 22
Joined: 3/21/2008
Status: offline

Thanks for the time here. I asked, and I'm absorbing your responses. To MaamJay, and all that have spoken, yes, it was a thought that you, or whomever would certainly check me out before you replied, if it was worth your time. I would have just asked you all to look and comment. Feels (for me) a bit ego driven... and opening the pot (I'm reading all of you). If you chose to respond to my question, I knew I'd get some feed back... but it's my job to express myself to you, it's who I am. If I wanted a room of dominant women to review my profile... than I should be cutting you all a check... and, it would be all about me. Kind of self oriented. That you may offer, that's awesome. But I shouldn't be asking... not your job.

Yes, maybe stream of (sub)concienceness. I did a quick look, typos and idiot statements, when I wrote. I thought for a while and wrote. That's me.

What I didn't do is try and carefully construct (or contrive) a sub persona... I don't know what my deep sub nature is, and it's being revealed. As I updated, I journal my old profile, that's my progression.

If a dominant wonan reads it... feels better to have you read me and reject me, than not read at all. Even my flaws... I am flawed. It's ok if you see that, there's more where that came from... (I'm a man).

I'm not sure if I'm ready for a re-write yet. I may just be responding to certain suggestions and forming something that sounds more attractive, but more in someone's image of who I could be. I'm pretty raw here, and it's ok for now.

The women here hold the power... and are taking the risk, in my eyes. Better that you get a feel for me and pass, than begin down a path only to find I'm not there or who I sound like (not a very good idea for a sub!).

By the way... I need to say this. I read all of your profiles. Some of you (you'll probably know who you are) are already filling my head space... it's not all psychology for me... some of you would have me at "hello". It's not me...it's you.

But that's not why I'm here now, I really appreciate your time spent. I just felt the need to ackowledge you all (I am the sub).

I don't mean to string this thread along, I've gotten great consideration and advice already, more than I asked for or expected.

Thank you all. I mean that.

daniel

(in reply to MaamJay)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Initiating contact with disrespect - 6/23/2009 1:41:30 PM

LadyHexx

Posts: 48
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline

I know that when I see little to nothing on the profile, I just click on someone else.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Profile

Post #: 28