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AAkasha -> RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. (6/23/2009 3:50:11 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian
An astute post, and one not without a handful of truth, though I would caution against running with the these men paradigm too much regarding the familiar dissent of males. There is a lot of predation and wagon jumping going on, particularly online. "Fake" is sometimes a perfectly valid assessment to make when we all know some individuals get in on the scene only as a front for justifying their shallowness and greed, with no intent of ever making the illusion a reality. But that door does swing both ways, indeed.
Ok, I give you that - fake does sometimes simply mean "fake."
But I think the further thought process on this thread, and the women that post here and other places frequently, are that there is a fantasy of "what a female dominant is" and it is perpetuated by men and male fantasy and is driven by a male market, and some men are very, very focused on these fantasy objects, and an entire industry is supported by it. So the cycle continues.
Putting that thought aside ENTIRELY, you have another reality: There are women that enjoy dominating men, including the fetishes, including S&M, and do it for themselves, and are compelled to do it - and it has nothing to do with being expected to behave this way by men, being asked to do it by a boyfriend or being paid to do it. I am just as compelled to dominate a man, often in the nasty and degrading ways that these men dream of, and it's all authentic and organic: I do exist. I know others exist. But there is NO definition of who we are, what we like, and how we are motivated that can be defined at all by femdom pornography or anything created by men, consumed by men or driven by men. Sure, there may be some overlap, but I think mostly we (femdoms) are a "species" that is totally misunderstood by submissive men. The way we act and how we process our urges is never represented in mainstream or fetish bdsm porn.
We don't fit into the categories that they want/expect us to, and we are not motivated in the ways that they are. Most importantly, we did not "learn" dominance and how dominant women behave from the BDSM pornography; yet, submissive men have learned how to behave an identify as submissive men, mostly, from these pornographic images. Hence the major, major disconnect.
And at the end of the day, when the "true" submissive (meaning he honestly, truly has deep, organic fetishes and drives for power exchange) sees what the "true" femdom is, she is about as far away from his fantasy than he can imagine; he's better off with a reluctant vanilla girlfriend who may dress up and call him names because she loves him.
Akasha
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