RE: 24 / 7 : Fact and Fiction

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RE: 24 / 7 : Fact and Fiction - 6/25/2009 9:43:55 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

Here is what I feel is the crux of the issue: you can have any kind of relationship that you want to have.

You, whether sub or dom or switch, can create whatever kind of relationship you want to create.

You don't have to find a ready made model and plug yourself into it.

(...tho of course, the more you deviate from the standards, the trickier it may be to communicate your vision and find someone who shares it. I don't think it's actually so tricky , tho - it just requires a thing called patience...and fortitude.)

That said, I think your experience with the "doctor" was probably a bit of horrendous bad luck - - - as long as you're not limiting your selection "pool" to the e-doms who spam you whenever you join a site like this.

AND as long as you're not susceptible to the lines of bullshit that these guys send you.

_____________________________

...YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE MY PORK CHOPS!
- - - - - - -
"....(somewhere) therein lies the truthiness..."
~*~*~*~*
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(in reply to aLittleKitten)

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RE: 24 / 7 : Fact and Fiction - 6/25/2009 2:25:06 PM

ishyB

Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aLittleKitten

The idea of 24/7 gives me the kneejerk reaction of hiding behind BDSM when you're in reality someone who doesn't see your partner as an equal, or someone with the ability to make their own decisions.

Greetings LittleKiten,

while I don't really consider myself to be involved in BDSM per say (Master is Gorean, and from that philosophy the motives for keeping slaves are very different from the motives of the general BDSM community) I am kept in a type of relationship like the one you mention so I'd still like to offer you my perspective.

Master does not see me as an equal at all. His pet, in a quite literal sense would be a much better description of how he views me.
But I'm not his equal/partner/lover/team mate/friend AT ALL. Not even close. He doesn't respect me either, nor does he love me, though he has said that he is quite fond of me.
And you know what? I don't want all that either, because *I* don't consider myself to be his equal/partner/lover/team mate/friend at all not do I seek his respect.

Further, he does consider me not to be capable to make my own decisions -at least to some degree.
The way I'm kept he still think that I should be capable picking out my own color of nail polish, or what I'm going to wear that day. But big decisions or long term plans? Nope, he doesn't consider me qualified to make decisions like that. He doesn't even thinks he needs my imput on them, though at times he will still ask stuff to know how I feel about things.
And again: I happen to agree with him, which is why I sought this type of relationship in the first place.

Other than that I'd like to mention that we do not use safewords, don't practice SSC, nor do be practice RACK. He pretty much can do whatever he wants with me, and should I not agree with something he's doing, basically my only option is packing my bags and leaving.

Now I understand that something like that is hard to understand for somebody with the perspective of just keeping it in a play environment with an equal partnership as a basis of that play. Just keep in mind that with the people in these type of relationships it is BOTH parties wanting it, and not the Dominant forcing the slave into 24/7 when they don't want to (no usually at least.)

For me, if I was single and somebody would contact me with the offer of a partnership based relationship, with safewords and mutual respect in place, then I would just not be interested at all....

I wish you well,

ishy

< Message edited by ishyB -- 6/25/2009 2:29:55 PM >

_____________________________

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I wanted to move on
So I'm already gone

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Post #: 62