persephonee
Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: oceanwinds In reading the thread 'sub drop' a word caught my eye from one of the posters. Naturally not wanting to derail the original post, I decided to start a thread. The word that caught my eye was invested. For some people they become invested quickly in a relationship, while others it takes time. In my case words said in the first 6 to 8 months are considered with a grain of salt. This is not a thread on the plus or minus of becoming invested right away in a relationship. We all have an opinion. What I like to know is those who do, would you want to change that part in you, providing you could? For those who don't get invested right away, would you want to change that part in you, providing you could? Has being or not being invested right away in a relationship been determental to you as a person? Finally for those who do become invested in a relationship, how easy is it for you to walk away, when things become at a stand still, or your Dom. or s-type needs space to work out a life situation? Do you find it difficult to be patient and give the person their space to grow, and/ or adapt to their 24/7 life situations? If you are the type that chooses to wait, are you still investing in the relationship, even though there might not be one visable? Do you work on your own growth and the 24/7 life situations that are occuring in your life? Is waiting even an option for you? Blessings, oceanwinds Great topic, ocean.... When i was with my ex, i had one of those experiences where i firmly believed with my entire being that we would grow old together. i wasnt even "over the moon" about it, instead, there was such quiet contentment and ease, that i decided that must mean that it was meant to be...turns out, she was only in my life for a season, and a reason....but not eternity. i think that we both invested in our relationship, especially in the beginning, and it was scarey and full of emotional ups and downs that today would simply turn my stomach. i dont get "too" invested in any relationship...beit friendship or relationship until such a time as i see a pretty significant investment on my partners end...Master got my investment when he came to my home and physically relocated me at his expense...and didnt gripe when he noticed that i hadnt significantly packed before his arrival....i honestly thought, "why should i pack when hes just going to call me and tell me some bullshit story about a sick aunt...and not come down to get me" Once he showed what he was made of, i started investing more and more into our relationship. i dont believe i will ever be as emotionally bankrupt as after Denise and i broke up...that was truly terrible...but i know that if/when Master and i part ways, it will definitely hurt the both of us. But i sincerely doubt that this break up would devastate me as much as the breakup of my marriage with Denise. Now the only relationship in my world that is fully vested is the one i have with my son....As it should be. As for walking away or staying, but on hold while a partner does some thinking or changing or whatever....im not really sure. im hyper sensitive to being taken advantage of emotionally and i am not certain that i would be able to wait thru a significant life change...again, would have to depend on the groundrules of the waiting...if i were with a married man and he needed some time to get separated...i suppose i would set a firm timeline and stick to it....so that if he couldnt get out of the other relationship within my timeframe, he would be told to look me up when he gets his head out of his ass and takes care of things.... Since Master and i are live in, i dont see either of us needing "time to change"...we will change as it occurs and have to adjust to eachother on the fly, like any live in relationship. Growth and change happens whether we work at it or not...ooops, i guess change happens without work, growth requires quite a bit of work...i think that in a live in situation, the changes are hopefully more in line with your partners than you would necessarily think...and hopefully that makes it easier to deal with.... perse
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You be the Captain; i'll be no one. And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers E*Whore, extraordinaire.... Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.
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