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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 6/30/2009 1:57:00 PM

subtlebutterfly

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 6/30/2009 1:57:40 PM

oceanwinds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

i think when they say very quickly i think they mean sweept of your feet lol

I do understand and have experience being swept off my feet, but even then I have enough control over me to pull in the reigns and slow down.

Perhaps it is the case of one can be swept off their feet (emotionally and not literally) if they are ready or have positioned themselves where the sweeping can be effected.

IronBear, this afternoon I thought on what you said. It seem profound to me, so wanted to give it consideration. Yes the swiftness of deciding to explore BDSM with Sir was well positioned for me and it was very effected. Nothing like having the Goddess I follow swiftly interact on this. I also do believe in the timing factor, usually not my timing, that can make me move very swiftly in the particular area that has developed.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Blessed Be
oceanwinds

< Message edited by oceanwinds -- 6/30/2009 1:59:17 PM >

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 6/30/2009 7:42:03 PM

wittybunny

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What does this mean, "investing?" Heart? Emotion? Time? All time is precious, and we aren't guaranteed our next breath-which is why we should give it all away,as quickly as we can, NOW... I fall fast and hard.-over and over-.love addict--That's why we are put here-.to give as much as we can. Treasure everything and be willing, even anxious, for love to slip through your hand like the swift bird it is-- I had 25 years with someone who wouldn't or couldn't "invest." Now he is dead and I am astonished and grateful to be here, every morning, with the chance to break my heart again. .

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 7/1/2009 1:50:32 AM

aldompdx

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An investment is a bargain, for which a return on investment is expected.
Love arises in the only place it is ever felt, one's very own heart.
Love cannot be given or taken, only shared.
Learn to share love unconditionally, without a bargain of giving to get.
Then, love will grow in your own heart.

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 7/1/2009 6:07:39 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wittybunny

NOW... I fall fast and hard.-over and over-.love addict--That's why we are put here-.to give as much as we can. Treasure everything and be willing, even anxious, for love to slip through your hand like the swift bird it is--I am astonished and grateful to be here, every morning, with the chance to break my heart again. .

The problem with being a 'love addict' is that you are going to scare everyone off who is the sort of person you want to be with. The swept off your feet emotion does not last, that's commonly referred to as new relationship energy and if that's what you are addicted to, then you'll be causing dramatic breakups every few months in order to feel it again with someone new.

But if you've decided on a first date when you will marry the poor bastard, where you're going on your honeymoon etc and he's just trying to decide if he likes you enough to have a second date, then he'll probably decide no and you'll be wasting your friends time yet again complaining that all guys are creeps.

Remember in all your relationships the common element is you. If your relationships are always full of drama, always end the same, always unfulfilling for you - it means you are choosing this and seeking partners who you can manipulate to get this from.

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 7/1/2009 8:37:58 AM

Andalusite

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I've tended to fall pretty quickly once I do, if I'm ever going to, but I've been in a couple of relationships with men who were a bit commitment phobic, or who weren't willing to say how they felt, for months after we first got involved. I've hung in there for months while we dated, without having any firm commitment in place, or knowing for sure how they felt about me. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, and dumped them, at which point both of them said they wanted another chance/did want to be with me. I don't want to deal with that again.

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 7/1/2009 9:01:48 AM

oceanwinds

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Andalusite

One factor that I am constantly aware of is do their words match their actions. Words to me are useless, if actions are not following suit. I am not relationship phobic, however living is very important to me. That is why I will pace myself when exploring a new relationship.

Waiting only comes from me, after period of time, beyond the first 6 months or so, and if trust has been built. When the rose color glasses are taken off, and viewing them in their real behaviors will i know the trust built will stand through anything. Sometimes people go seperate ways, but at that point my trust and respect is still in tact with them. Also being more prone to Men who live in 'caves' it is a natural thing for me to understand their need to have space. The positive part of that, they understand that aspect in me.

Thank you for responding to my questions.
Blessings
oceanwinds

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 7/1/2009 9:04:50 AM

oceanwinds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

An investment is a bargain, for which a return on investment is expected.
Love arises in the only place it is ever felt, one's very own heart.
Love cannot be given or taken, only shared.
Learn to share love unconditionally, without a bargain of giving to get.
Then, love will grow in your own heart.

Hi aldompdx
Perhaps I am weird, but i do not invest in expection of another. I invest in what is good for me. I do not expect a return, if i choose to invest my being with another. Sometimes people will walk beside you for awhile and then go on another road. This is part of life. In the end, I have to say did this relationship teach me anything? If I had invest in it, yes it did. That is my payment.

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 7/1/2009 9:12:14 AM

oceanwinds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wittybunny

What does this mean, "investing?" Heart? Emotion? Time? All time is precious, and we aren't guaranteed our next breath-which is why we should give it all away,as quickly as we can, NOW... I fall fast and hard.-over and over-.love addict--That's why we are put here-.to give as much as we can. Treasure everything and be willing, even anxious, for love to slip through your hand like the swift bird it is-- I had 25 years with someone who wouldn't or couldn't "invest." Now he is dead and I am astonished and grateful to be here, every morning, with the chance to break my heart again. .

If this works for you then fine. Yes, I too have lost through death, and have known this scenerio early in my life. But not everyone lives the same way, nor should we. It would become a very boring state of affaris.

I have taken what my late hubby and i had and payed it forward. It would do me no good to be addicted to love. It is not a healthy investment for me. I though am free to love and am grateful it is in my very being to love. If there is someone I can share fine, if not then i will share it through my work, my writings, art, dance or whatever expression i am choosing. To have just anyone in my life, so i can express personal love to them, imo would be of diservice too us both. If someone connects great, if someone doesnt my life is still complete.

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RE: Re: investing in a relationship - 7/1/2009 11:40:31 AM

porcelaine

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good question!

i have done both and whenever i rushed i have regretted it tremendously. i believe people are like flowers and they bloom on different intervals. i have learned the value of patience with myself and others and exercise this methodology whenever possible. when i engage with someone that off and running and is in a hurry to get there now i'm often left wondering what's the rush? i prefer to take my time and become more acquainted with someone. i don't enjoy pseudo relating and have a sincere need to understand who and what i'm yielding to. it is important for me to grasp the why behind my behavior rather than say i do something merely because the other party has requested it.

i have a personal investment in self betterment and routinely make adjustments in my beliefs, mindset, and overall person on a regular basis. i'm very growth oriented and find i'm attracted to those that have a similar commitment. while i'm patient and willing to invest time and effort in a situation, the other party must reciprocate and have a sincere desire to do the same. this doesn't imply our actions will always be equal or identical, but in essence we must want the relationship and be willing to wrestle with it when required.

in the end my greatest responsibility is to myself and my well being. if i sincerely felt that i was not in a situation that showed promise or a desire from the other person to move ahead, i would have no qualms parting ways. i would rather walk alone than remain in a situation that compromised my evolution or happiness.

porcelaine

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