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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 1:52:42 AM   
ChasingOblivion


Posts: 125
Joined: 5/19/2009
Status: offline 		It means he's a sick fuck that could do with a visit from Lorena Bobbitt.
Don't look for a deeper meaning because there isn't one. Some people are just evil. 

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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 8:07:00 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
He essentially didn't give a rat's ass about you and forced himself on you even though you said "No."  Did you use a safeword?  Sometimes the actual word "No" isn't taken seriously in bdsm, & it's possible that He thought you didn't really mean it when you said it.  It's not that I think what He did was okay.  It WASN'T okay, but I'm just trying to see all sides, and a safeword might've made the "No" clearer in His mind.

Yeah, there are some really caring, wonderful men and women here who *do* love hearing screaming, whimpering, squealing, and even "No" and pleading to stop. However, if they are going to do that, they need to give you a clear safeword, and/or pay attention to your body language. My last Dominant frequently enjoyed having me beg him to stop, and even meaning it a bit (usually doing something else I didn't like at the same time, to make it more fervent/realistic). However, if I were genuinely in trouble, he usually caught it before I genuinely safeworded/wimped out, and if there were something else wrong, like my wrist falling asleep or getting a cramp, I could just tell him so.

Obezyanka, I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience! From your OP, though *I'm* not clear whether it was consensual, though painful and difficult for you, but you willingly suffered for him only to be used and discarded, or whether you were attempting to safe out and were disregarded. I know sometimes in the moment, it's hard to safeword, or even get enough breath to say *anything* coherent! It's just that the mood of the OP almost feels to me like you're more upset about no longer being with him than you are with what he did to you. Either way, be good to yourself, and be very careful getting involved again. I'm certainly not trying to *blame* you if you weren't clear/didn't safeword. I'm very much aware of how on the edge many BDSM activities can be, that line between "it actually hurts, but I'll suffer for you, because you want me to and it turns you on" and "this is just over the line and I truly can't take more."

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 9:01:55 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChasingOblivion

It means he's a sick fuck that could do with a visit from Lorena Bobbitt.
Don't look for a deeper meaning because there isn't one. Some people are just evil. 

You might want to read the post by Andalusite right below yours.  This isn't a black-and-white area, much as you might like to think in those terms.

Is it possible to be raped within the context of a consensual D/s relationship?  Yes.  Is it possible to provide a clear definition of what "rape" means in that context, all the time?  I really doubt it.


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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 9:09:11 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka

So the other night my dom/boyfriend (ex) forced me to have anal sex even when I said no and told him to stop.
He kept going.  The next day he turned to me and said "I love hearing your sequals and screams."  I didnt get a chance to ask  him what he ment as on Sunday he implied he didn't want to see me again.

What did he mean?


Sadly lass I believe he was just sadistically using you and enjoying your discomfort and pain as a final gesture of how much he didn't care about you. Unless of course you were screaming: "Yes! yes! Please! Please don't stop! Oh God yessssssssss!" and your squeals were squeals of delight having discovered a new form of sex. Somehow from the information given I just don't think this was the case.

Perhaps you are way bette3r off without him and hopefully can move on to find a person more suited to you.


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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 9:45:12 AM   
maia09


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka

So the other night my dom/boyfriend (ex) forced me to have anal sex even when I said no and told him to stop.
He kept going.  The next day he turned to me and said "I love hearing your sequals and screams."  I didnt get a chance to ask  him what he ment as on Sunday he implied he didn't want to see me again.

What did he mean?


What did he mean? You have to ask? What did he mean to you? Submission is not something that is forced - it's consensual. Also, you aren't required to submit to anything you don't want to submit to - if you don't get anything else, get that.


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(in reply to Obezyanka)
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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 10:09:38 AM   
sluut4Busty


Posts: 18
Joined: 2/8/2009
Status: offline 		Most people don't hang out until the NEXT DAY with their rapist on their own accord.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but the chances of  winning a case like this if it were to ever go to court are slim and none and slim just left town.

I kinda get the sense from her that she actually liked it. Like a couple of others mentioned why does she care so much about what this guy had to say.

Verdict: Little bitch that wants attention and would sleep with this guy again tonight if he called her slut azz.

Case Dismissed

(in reply to NihilusZero)
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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 10:11:16 AM   
sirsholly


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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 10:11:23 AM   
Danibelle


Posts: 94
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Dunno about rape or not.  On more than on occasion Ive told her to shut the fuck up and take the pain.  Some may call tht rape ...some may call it she is owned by me and will do what the fuck she is told when I tell her to do it.   Nuff said

BadOne



I've been told to bite the pillow ;-)

But I really don't think that's what this is about.


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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 10:12:53 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		in an abusive relationship, the victim will often stay with the abuser.  This is well documented.  So her staying there after he essentially raped her is not uncommon, or even unexpected.

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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 10:22:54 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Aye that has been my experience with clients I have counselled in this area too.. 

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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 10:59:50 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Dunno about rape or not.  On more than on occasion Ive told her to shut the fuck up and take the pain.  Some may call tht rape ...some may call it she is owned by me and will do what the fuck she is told when I tell her to do it.   Nuff said

BadOne



Yummy...

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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 6/30/2009 6:33:31 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		Did you in fact...Have a safe word or not?  And if you did had you used it in the past and he stoped..or not?  Was this his normal behavior towards you? Either way, their right..stay clear of this guy cause frankly, he is a accident waiting to send you to the hospital.

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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 7/1/2009 12:08:18 AM   
Rhembein


Posts: 136
Joined: 6/8/2009
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		This is a tricky situation. It sounds on the surface as if you were raped. He likes your screams because he's sadistic.

If you didn't have a safe word, then No should mean No. If you have a safe word and didn't call it, then he probably saw nothing wrong. In my situation, No would mean nothing except that I'm being bratty and need some 'punishment'. Safe word however, is a definite stop.


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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 7/1/2009 6:03:49 AM   
MasterKarly


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/1/2009
Status: offline 		I don't this is as cut and dried as some are making out, if you have a history of violent consentual sex then where does the master/slave relationship end?For example someone comes on here and says 'Oh i want a man to abuse me, and as many people do she then says 'I have no limits' then where does the wrong lie?
I don't deny that a wrong has been done but someone somewhere failled to communicate.  

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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 7/1/2009 6:17:41 AM   
NYLass


Posts: 409
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		You were raped.  Furthermore, no safeword in the world would have stopped the bastard anyway.  (This is why I don't believe in safewords, anyway, but that's another rant.)  Even if you don't report it and him, get counseling.  Find a kink friendly therapist.  Hopefully you won't get yourself into another relationship like this one.

Let us know how it goes.  No one should be treated like that.  (Hmmm mebbe the Lorena Bobbit thought isn't so bad....)


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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 7/1/2009 6:51:05 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

No means no......In certain situations.

Some mean NOOOOOOOOOOO, some mean *nooooo*.

Only the two people involved KNOW what *no* means and even THEN..... ONE might mean NO, while the other is interpretting that as *no*. It depends on their history together. It depends on what they have/had.... what went before...... it depends on what the truth is.

MY NOOOO, doesn't mean I'm raped........

If i was writing to a forum, wondering about his assertions regarding my squeals and screams.......being *raped* obviously wouldn't be my first thought. And if needed to be told I'd been raped...maybe I shouldn't be available for either HIM..or sex.

agirl



(in reply to Obezyanka)
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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 7/1/2009 8:43:11 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		NYLass, safewords aren't always respected, but in this case, it sounds like there was some possibility/probability of miscommunication. I *have* been told that he loves my screams and squeals, and I think it's pretty standard here and anywhere that BDSM is involved for sadists to like that kind of reaction from people who are with them *consensually*. However, if you're going to do verbal resistance play, you need a clear way to indicate when something is *not* working. You'd hope that the guy would have better skills than that at reading body language, and I won't play at that level alone with someone until I trust him to be able tell whether moans and whimpers are good or bad.

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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 7/1/2009 10:59:56 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
It's true that safewords aren't always respected but, unless I'm missing something, the OP hasn't said whether she used one or not.  She said she told Him to stop, but He kept on going.  Of course, it doesn't really matter if she used one, I guess, but am I the only one that's curious?  I've had my safeword ignored by a former Dom and had to yell "Stop it you sonofabitch!" before He stopped.

~edited for wording~

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 7/1/2009 11:01:22 AM >

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RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 7/1/2009 1:25:18 PM   
Rhembein


Posts: 136
Joined: 6/8/2009
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		That's no good SS1957, what's the point of a safe word if he's going to ignore it? At least he did stop though.

_____________________________

This one is bound to love, serve, and obey.

Holding on and letting go, she just keeps giving in. No matter what He needs, her answer is always yes. He only has to dream and she does the rest.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What does it mean when he says he likes my screams? - 7/1/2009 2:18:49 PM   
TEMPERANCE


Posts: 126
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka

So the other night my dom/boyfriend (ex) forced me to have anal sex even when I said no and told him to stop.
He kept going.  The next day he turned to me and said "I love hearing your sequals and screams."  I didnt get a chance to ask  him what he ment as on Sunday he implied he didn't want to see me again.

What did he mean?


Let me see if i have this right.... he anally raped you, the non-consensual kind or rape too..... ... then dumped you and you're asking what he meant by saying he enjoys your screams?

I think when he said he "loved hearing your screams", he actually  meant he loved hearing you scream.... and if he sexually got off on it, which it sounds like he did... but then again that could have been down to the rape, it would mean he's a sadist.... and they kinda get off on the suffering of others..... 



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