Talking of fishy stuff (Full Version)

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MasterKarly -> Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 5:38:53 AM)

I am alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she conciders 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?



sirsholly -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 5:45:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

I am alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she conciders 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?

You are not alone...but you are wrong.

She is a submissive, but certainly not your submissive. Just because you slap a Dom label on your ass does not give you the right to be rude.

And as far as her "demanding" respect for her wishes...hell yes!!! If you do not honor the wishes/limits of the submissive you are going to be as alone as you deserve to be.



MasterKarly -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 5:47:36 AM)

Limits I can understand, I always work within limits but demands sound so.....demanding.



DarkSteven -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 5:53:21 AM)

Sometimes I'm with you, MK, and sometimes not.  I agree that while I may agree with WHAT she says, HOW she says it is something I take note of.  Generally, I consider excessive vehemence to indicate that she would be trouble in a relationship.

OTOH, sometimes I feel like she's probably just read several dozen "Duz U cam gud" messages and is fed up, and make allowances.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 5:58:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

OTOH, sometimes I feel like she's probably just read several dozen "Duz U cam gud" messages and is fed up, and make allowances.



That's probably more accurate. Women get a lot of rude, demanding emails on a regular basis expecting full submission with no limits.
OP...if someone's caught your attention, show her you're not an idiot and treat her like a person, not an object. See how that goes.



sirsholly -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:02:21 AM)

quote:

"Duz U cam gud"
duz u...what? Damnit Steven, speak english [>:]


never mind....i figured it out.
Rudely grumbles about Doms who make me think before my 7th cup of coffee



sirsholly -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:04:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

Limits I can understand, I always work within limits but demands sound so.....demanding.
i see your point...but as Steven and Aileen said, the attitude is probably from a lot of rude mail.



DarkSteven -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:09:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

That's probably more accurate. Women get a lot of rude, demanding emails on a regular basis expecting full submission with no limits.



Aileen, what do you mean by "no limits"?  Do they specifically demand that you have no limits, or do they simply ignore the ones you list?





MasterKarly -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:12:59 AM)

I think if you get a situation where a Dom ever tries to ignore any limits then you have a case for having them charged with assult. getting kinky in an agreed manner is one thing, anything else can lead to all kinds of nasty stuff like charges of rape.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:14:09 AM)

Well...according to trolls, subs are to have no limits ever. Otherwise they aren't twue.



MasterKarly -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:21:05 AM)

Such cynicsm, its shocking [8D]



angelikaJ -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:21:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Well...according to trolls, subs are to have no limits ever. Otherwise they aren't twue.


[:(]
i am not twue.
*sobs*

To the OP, for some women they need to build trust with someone before they are able to submit.

She might have difficulty understanding the irony of her own words... I know I can be unknowingly paradoxical at times.

OR
She might not be someone who is compatible with you.




SteelofUtah -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:24:49 AM)

Dom,sub,master,slave,slut,whore,cock socket,etc,etc...

These are all PEOPLE, when we dehumanize someone due to the lable they have chosen to fashion, it is offten at a disservice to the person in question.

Some people assume that because someone identifies as a sub or slave that this means they should be treated a certain way. If that was is subhuman then it tends to become threatening or at very least irritation to the psyche.

If you are rude to someone then you deserve to be treated rudely, if you are condesending then you deserve to be condesended upon.

Demands are also individual aspects, demanding something is a aspect of Trade Off, "you will get what you want when I get what I want" in a situation with a submissive when all she is asking for is respect in order to get the opportunity to receive surrender I think that is a small thing to demand... in the end it is always up to you if she is worth having you will have to decide if you will give in to her demands.

In the end this is an issue of initial contact. I think she is just making it clear that if you come at her with ignorance and rudeness then you will receive nothing you desire from her.

I call it Boundires and in the beginning of a realionship of ANY KIND one should tread lightly on peoples boundries.

Steel



peppermint -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:32:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

I am alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she conciders 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?



You have choice.  You are not required to respond to a profile from a submissive who does not appeal to you. 

On the other hand, she also has choice.  She does not have to respond to Dominants who demand her yahoo ID, who demand her nude picture, and who demand a description of all her fantasies.  Yes, she can even demand respect from a stranger when she has not agreed to any power exchange with that stranger. 



agirl -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:37:08 AM)

I wouldn't write that on my profile because it's something that needn't be said ...It'll show. I'm unlikely to NOT demand respect, afterall. I can't think of anyone that wouldn't want it .... it seems a bit pointless to SAY it.

You can want, hope for, demand, wish for and need respect .......but writing it won't alter whether you'll get it or not.

agirl



CarrieO -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 6:38:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

I am alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she conciders 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?



OP,  I notice that you joined CM today, welcome.  I also notice that your profile has things that, for me, are questionable.  This is the way it is online...not every profile will be to your liking.

You may learn over time that there are many on here who claim to be doms, experts in various areas (if not all) of bdsm and demand submission from anyone who chooses to label themselves sub.  Reality is a funny thing.  What I consider good sub behavior could be quite different from what you consider to be good behavior, such is life.

If everyone approached prospective partners( yes, partner...not sub/slave or any other label) in a mature and considerate fashion, this woman wouldn't feel the need to have such a "demand"...until that time...respecting a person's "demand" of  not approaching in a rude manner shouldn't be that difficult for an adult.



tolovetolaugh -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 7:11:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

Am I alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she considers 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?



But... it scares away the self rightous and Doms who wouldn't be able to handle me anyways.
Some subs are only submissive with those who bring it out in them, the rest of the time, we are just people.



bislaveboy84 -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 7:27:05 AM)

Just to make sure: women aren't the only ones getting 'rude' and unwanted/not serious messages. I personally don't like putting up a message like "i will not reply to message-type" just because I'm fine filtering the bad things out myself. I don't think it reflects on 'how submissive' someone is. Though I guess it can reflect on how that person reacts to certain things, which you may or may not like. Personally when I see such a line on a profile i won't send out a message, just because I feel like my message may just be ignored for some arbitrary reason, while I do put effort in when contacting someone (which i rarely do anyway even on profiles without such a line). This doesn't mean that I don't understand that messages like "Go on yahoo for inspection slut random.person.you.never.met[at]yahoo[dot]com" can get very annoying very quickly. I guess these lines are a necessity at times (though I'm sure that most who send out these messages don't read profiles anyway)



OsideGirl -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 7:35:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


OTOH, sometimes I feel like she's probably just read several dozen "Duz U cam gud" messages and is fed up, and make allowances.

When I was single there were days when keeping the negativity out of my profile was a struggle.

I said that I wanted: single, within 10 years of my age, nonsmoking, and local to me. The guys just ignored that. Some were even rude about it. Some wrote to me telling me who/what/how I should be. Some had an opening line of "How big are your tits?"

There were days when I wanted to start my profile with "Dear Fucktards, please read!"

What kept me from doing it is that I think a profile full of negatives is a turn off. I hold that view whether the profile is for "D" or "s".



Mercnbeth -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 10:09:04 AM)

quote:

...Some subs are only submissive with those who bring it out in them, the rest of the time, we are just people....


BINGO!!!!!  and something that should be shouted from the rooftops so everybody has a chance to hear it...especially the SOME part.

To the OP:
 
too many folks are under the impression that ALL submissives submit in all ways...always.  there are precious few who do.
it is unfortunate for those that don't, that this is often what folks who are approaching them think.
 
for example:  someone who puts value in a submissive being inspired to submit to them, and otherwise just a person who doesn't identify with the qualifier of submissive outside of that inspirational pull with that specific person, isn't going to find this slave's expression of submission attractive at all.  it has been this slave's experience that few truly do.



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