RE: Talking of fishy stuff (Full Version)

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MasterKarly -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 10:12:23 AM)

I think it is all too easy for people to misinterpret things on the internet, its always the same and its hard to get a balance which seems to say what you want it to say and doesn't get lost in translation.
Meeting people in real life is the only real answer.
As for what I expect from someone I always expect nothing and am sometimes happily surprised.



leadership527 -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 10:58:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly
I am alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she conciders 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?

Well, I don't know if you're alone or not, but I disgree with you. I see nothing wrong with someone drawing careful boundaries, both before and during a relationship (unless, of course, the relationship is intended to be TPE-ish). However, when I read profiles like that, my immediate thought is, "Gosh, if you hate doms so much, why are you looking for one?" I have no interest in dealing with someone else's emotional scars and baggage. I pass them right by, not on account of "lack of submissiveness", but on account of "lack of maturity".



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 11:32:53 AM)

I'm not sure what Aileen meant by "no limits" but I'm thinking it means it's standard procedure to send s-types "on your knees bitch" letters & the you're gonna do this or that for me type letters, etc. and s-types are supposed to think it's okay.  hahaha  It's not worth getting upset about.....the last time Someone asked me what my bra cup size was, I just made a joke of it & wrote back, "I think I'll field that question to Sir.  He knows the answer to that one" and the  D answered "Fair enough."  hahaha  Why just the other day, I was told "Your karma stinks and you're a true wannabe" by some Dude who didn't get full submission after His initial letter.....that's funny, I had to be on this site for 7 1/2 months before I reached wannabe status.  hahahaha  I just laughed my ass off.



lovingpet -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 12:02:06 PM)

I decided to be lazy and not read responses this time.  Not my normal above and beyond subly self, but what can I say?

Manners are handy in any walk of life.  I don't like profiles that are full of venom.  I will read through journals if they are available to see if there is a reason for it.  Generally, though I don't find what they are going through that unusual or that unexpected and find it a turn off.

I keep a polite profile.  I expect the same in kind from those who respond.  I have not been rude.  The dominant need not be rude either.  It is not an attractive quality no matter who displays it.  Basic common courtesy from complete strangers is not too much to ask or even demand.  Getting it is another issue altogether.

lovingpet



agirl -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 12:19:02 PM)

 It's not a difficult step to see how nutty it'd be to type .. * I reply to all rude messages and demand no respect for my wishes*.

Now THAT would be submissive. Or not?

agirl






MasterKarly -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 12:38:33 PM)

I am sorry if you have had rude messages from people in the past, maybe the idea of a real subby to play with gets them all excited and they forget they are dealing with real people.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 12:46:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
you're a true wannabe

Is it just me, or is that insult phenomenally hilarious?  On the other hand, I once posted that I used to be a real man until I got in touch with my inner fake... and I feel much better now.[;)]



Rhembein -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 1:35:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

Some subs are only submissive with those who bring it out in them, the rest of the time, we are just people.



[sm=applause.gif] Exactly!

And having been unowned until very recently, I can say that the sheer number of ridiculous emails are incredibly frustrating. Sometimes, we are bombarded with so many repulsive and offensive emails that it just gets to be too much and the frustration ends up on our profile. As if the ignorant ones would read anyway... it's probably just a waste of breath. But at the same time, we're entitled to vent.

Example emails.
"Get on your knees bitch."
"Daddy like."
"I would fuck you until you bleed like the whore you are."

Just because I am submissive doesn't give you the right to talk to me like that... unless we decide you're my Master and then you can say anything you want. Treat CM as you would a normal vanilla dating site... message the sub and TALK to her like a normal human being.

If you are interested in a sub whose profile has these 'demands' in it, just try to look past that part and message her respectfully. She will probably respond out of appreciation as well as interest. Good luck to you!



Lockit -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 1:57:41 PM)

Getting emails from the domly dom's insisting you kneel bitch, you pig your pictures made me sick and I had to take a shit... come eat piggy...  I think all is fair in love and war and online bdsm sites.

If a profile is filled with anger or frustration... I'd pass... but the occasional... please don't do this or don't do that because I will block you, not like you or won't respond is a different thing.  No sense getting bruised over someone simply wanting respect and to stop the shitty emails.  I would think a man who was understanding about it all would be impressive.



agirl -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 2:04:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

I am sorry if you have had rude messages from people in the past, maybe the idea of a real subby to play with gets them all excited and they forget they are dealing with real people.


If that was in reply to me ...I ought to assure you that I haven't. I've had incredibly FEW rude messages or mails from anyone at all...ever.

agirl



DesFIP -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 3:21:22 PM)

I think it is perfectly submissive to say she is incompatible with anyone who is rude and disrespectful. Unless and until she gets into a relationship where humiliation and degradation have been negotiated, I would suggest she immediately block anyone who is rude and disrespectful.

I am submissive, he also respects me. Nothing paradoxical there. We care about each other and show it in how we act towards each other.



JuliaGreenleaf -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 3:30:41 PM)

We have a right not to submit to people we don't want to . It's better for everyone that way - things won't last if we don't want to surrender in a particular case.
I just politely reply with one or two lines, or ignore - best way of dealing with.



tazzygirl -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 3:36:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: bislaveboy84

Just to make sure: women aren't the only ones getting 'rude' and unwanted/not serious messages. I personally don't like putting up a message like "i will not reply to message-type" just because I'm fine filtering the bad things out myself. I don't think it reflects on 'how submissive' someone is. Though I guess it can reflect on how that person reacts to certain things, which you may or may not like. Personally when I see such a line on a profile i won't send out a message, just because I feel like my message may just be ignored for some arbitrary reason, while I do put effort in when contacting someone (which i rarely do anyway even on profiles without such a line). This doesn't mean that I don't understand that messages like "Go on yahoo for inspection slut random.person.you.never.met[at]yahoo[dot]com" can get very annoying very quickly. I guess these lines are a necessity at times (though I'm sure that most who send out these messages don't read profiles anyway)


~blinks all innocent like

what cam?



tazzygirl -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 3:39:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

I am sorry if you have had rude messages from people in the past, maybe the idea of a real subby to play with gets them all excited and they forget they are dealing with real people.


If that was in reply to me ...I ought to assure you that I haven't. I've had incredibly FEW rude messages or mails from anyone at all...ever.

agirl




same here. the most recent batch have been from local men who obviously have not read my profile. a simple.. "thank you but my profile states clearly that i am in a relationship, but i do thank you for your interest..." has been enough. no rude comments back. maybe im just lucky



alanswhore -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 5:48:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

I am alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she conciders 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?

You are not alone...but you are wrong.

She is a submissive, but certainly not your submissive. Just because you slap a Dom label on your ass does not give you the right to be rude.

And as far as her "demanding" respect for her wishes...hell yes!!! If you do not honor the wishes/limits of the submissive you are going to be as alone as you deserve to be.



Got it in one. The thread pretty much could have ended here. :)



Esinn -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/1/2009 9:05:29 PM)

quote:

I am alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she conciders 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?


I do not know if you are alone.  I do not think you really ment it; probably a knee jerk reaction.  In fact if I had any submissive friends here I'd request they beat someone's ass who believed such crap.  I looked at your profile you do not seem like a douchebag.

No shit though brother if you just want a doll check craigslist before all those options are gone.  It is cheaper and less taxing.

Possibly I am alone in thinking I want the person.  I do not want a back talking bitch.  I also don't want the girl that is going to meet you in motel 6 after your second SiBer. To me it is more satisfying to know I demonstrated my right to control/own her.  If she does not like breast bondage, chineese food or drinking Wed morning and this is what  I want to do tough.  I find it unattractive knowing or believing she has done this 100 times before because a dude labeled himself a DOM.

If I want her to be with everyone else or if I do not she is mine.  She has the strength to know she is mine not yours - thats hot.  I know what is best for the relationship, her needs and myself because I took the time to know her. Even if she thinks it is rude or pushes a limit she will because she understands I took the time and this is what is best; isn't that power?  That said I do not want to fight my way to the top but I will earn it.



vasha -> no, not really (7/2/2009 1:04:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

If you are rude to someone then you deserve to be treated rudely, if you are condesending then you deserve to be condesended upon.


cant say i agree. there's always mutiple ways to deal with any situation, or person.  IE: being respectful, polite,  but still not takeing garbadge from someone.  
such as- if some dom... Any dom, wanted to attempt to give me a dressing down,  for some percieved slight,  ild applogise and direct the dom to my Owner for appropiate action. no one has the right to do to you, unless you let them.  Submission to One, not all.

but remember -an eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth makes people blind, and toothless. -





sweetsub1957 -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/2/2009 9:24:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
you're a true wannabe

Is it just me, or is that insult phenomenally hilarious?  On the other hand, I once posted that I used to be a real man until I got in touch with my inner fake... and I feel much better now.[;)]



Oh, that is TOO funny!!!



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/2/2009 9:51:42 AM)

No one has any right to demand any thing until a meeting and the two has decided to walk the path until both decide that you click and then its a whole new ball game... as an old country boy my family taught me manners..Shes a person treat her like you would like to be treated.....bounty



porcelaine -> RE: Talking of fishy stuff (7/2/2009 6:38:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKarly

I am alone in thinking that a potential sub who writes on her profile that she doesn't respond to what she conciders 'rude' messages and that she 'demands' respect for her wishes is hardly very submissive?



i don't think the statement has anything to do with her submissiveness, although i don't know why it is necessary to write it. if the other party is rude she's well within her right not to respond or the use other methods she feels are appropriate. i don't think it is necessary to verbalize this, but that's just me. different strokes and all.

i do feel that it is very common for people to question someone's dominance/submission based upon the things they observe both on and offline. we must remember while their behavior may be uncomfortable or a literal turn off for you, it may have a different effect on someone else. as it has been stated earlier, she's not your submissive so it really isn't your problem.

porcelaine



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