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RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/5/2009 8:05:54 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuardianOfWeak

I tend to be a very analytical thinker and apply that in many ways. One thing I've noticed amongst subs is four general categories that seem to define the root of their interests:

1) Feeling Dirty
2) Humiliation
3) Servitude
4) Helplessness

What do other people think?



I think I'll just say "welcome to the forums," since it is beginning to appear unlikely anyone else will say it. Enjoy your time here, and try not to take the inevitable disagreements and criticisms personally.

Take care.


_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/5/2009 8:10:34 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuardianOfWeak

I tend to be a very analytical thinker and apply that in many ways. One thing I've noticed amongst subs is four general categories that seem to define the root of their interests:

1) Feeling Dirty
2) Humiliation
3) Servitude
4) Helplessness

What do other people think?



You're basing this on what? Your vast experience at age 21? Your background in psychology?

You're perpetuating the myth that D/s BDSM is based on psychological damage.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/5/2009 8:32:30 PM   
cowgirlrider


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline 		I know subs are an intelligent group, Yes they allow themselves to dominated, used for pleasure, domisitic work and as partners, Because of the inner most feeling to serve, to be told of the good they do, to be loved, and kissed at times, But mistreat them and puff they are gone, then you are a Dom over nothing, Give them truth and respect, and they will please you for life

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/5/2009 8:34:05 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cowgirlrider

Because of the inner most feeling to serve

Yeah, that's not why I submit. I love generalizations and stereotypes.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to cowgirlrider)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/5/2009 9:13:59 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I've done some looking into this myself.  I have identified several reasons why some women identify as submissive.  In no particular order:

1. They enjoy pleasing another
2. They carry too much responsibility during the day and want to give it up at home
3. They enjoy the feeling of trust that they get when they hand over power
4. They like the attention they get when they bottom
5. They simply get hot on the physical sensations of being spanked, nipples clamped, etc.

I make no claims that the above list is comprehensive.  Or non-controversial.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/5/2009 9:17:39 PM   
caelestis


Posts: 195
Joined: 9/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuardianOfWeak


What do other people think?



I think every submissive would have a different answer, as every submissive is different.

_____________________________

"We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. Beautiful in the concept, if we're lucky, but frequently tedious or regrettable as we flesh ourselves out."
— Gregory Maguire



(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 3:23:49 AM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		DarkSteven, I like your list far better than the OP's . . . .

I'd add to it that state of desiring / loving / wanting so intensely that urges to own or be owned enter into the picture . . . .

That, & that individual data points vary widely, as per usual . . . . . .

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I've done some looking into this myself.  I have identified several reasons why some women identify as submissive.  In no particular order:

1. They enjoy pleasing another
2. They carry too much responsibility during the day and want to give it up at home
3. They enjoy the feeling of trust that they get when they hand over power
4. They like the attention they get when they bottom
5. They simply get hot on the physical sensations of being spanked, nipples clamped, etc.

I make no claims that the above list is comprehensive.  Or non-controversial.




_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 4:10:26 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuardianOfWeak

I tend to be a very analytical thinker and apply that in many ways. One thing I've noticed amongst subs is four general categories that seem to define the root of their interests:

1) Feeling Dirty
2) Humiliation
3) Servitude
4) Helplessness

What do other people think?


After reading your profile, I think this fits you very well. As long as you don't try to push this as a 'be all, end all' you're fine. I can think of at least one thing you're missing, but I wouldn't want to take away your thrill of discovery. ::grins:: Welcome to the boards.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 4:11:07 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuardianOfWeak

I tend to be a very analytical thinker and apply that in many ways. One thing I've noticed amongst subs is four general categories that seem to define the root of their interests:

1) Feeling Dirty
2) Humiliation
3) Servitude
4) Helplessness

What do other people think?



as a starting point its fine.  but youre list made me squirm a bit.

you need to push youre analytical thinking into deeper waters is all.  but perhaps you have and these are simply titles to a deeper appreciation of what these things mean to people.

never forget that you are talking about people, often complicated people and their requirement for fulfillment is just as meaningful to them as it is to you.

what made me squirm a little here was youre apparent mentality that subs are simplistic creatures who can be pushed under a title of need and neatly filed away.

there are plenty who just dont fit those titles.  i dont like to be made to feel dirty as a general rule, but sometimes its fun under certain situations with someone specific.  i hate humiliation of any kind, but i accept it as part of the package and often its the fact that i hate it that turns my partner on, then its ok.  servitude is possibly more my thing, but i have to really care about that person before i start to really think about what they want and need effectively, it doesnt just happen, they have to engender this feeling in me.  helplessnes, yes, ok ill give you that one. lol. but even so i can be helpless and enjoy myself or i can be helpless and hate it and no amount of pleasing my partner alters the fact that im hating it.  but its part of the deal so ill square it up with the rest of the stuff i do like/enjoy/want because in the end im there to please and that, actually, is the main criteria for many s types, but again, not all of them.

the point is, nothing and noone is that tidy or straight forward.

edited to add: ive just noticed youre handle - GuardianoftheWeak.  you might be in for a bit of a shock - never ever assume that s types are weak, very very dodgy premis.  an s type is youre equal in many ways, she just chooses to allow the power exchange to alter when she's ready to trust.

wishing you well and above all, fun. x

< Message edited by lally2 -- 7/6/2009 4:25:37 AM >

(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 4:29:07 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, i have to say i very much like your list and i most definitely like all four points you mention...
I like to serve, i like to be put in my place, i like to feel helpless and to get turned on by the whole D/s thing and feel extremely dirty about things is just brilliant...

Op i think your thinking is sound personally...carry on

(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 5:20:46 AM   
xiam


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
1. They enjoy pleasing another
2. They carry too much responsibility during the day and want to give it up at home
3. They enjoy the feeling of trust that they get when they hand over power
4. They like the attention they get when they bottom
5. They simply get hot on the physical sensations of being spanked, nipples clamped, etc.


This is a really good list, actually.  If we're talking about "root desires" (aside from deeper psychological patterns), i think this comes pretty close for a lot of people, including me. The OP's list is more the physical manifestation of such desires.  Maybe?

Food for thought, anyway!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 6:52:52 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

edited to add: ive just noticed youre handle - GuardianoftheWeak.  you might be in for a bit of a shock - never ever assume that s types are weak, very very dodgy premise.  an s type is youre equal in many ways, she just chooses to allow the power exchange to alter when she's ready to trust.

wishing you well and above all, fun. x


lally - THANK YOU !! I was thinking the exact same thing but felt it would be more meaningful coming from 'an s type'. Whew - your timing is perfect. I was starting to feel the strain LOL




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"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 10:06:00 AM   
vasha


Posts: 99
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline 		feeling diry?  no thankyou. 
humiliation?  defaintly not for me. that's a very good method to push me far far away, fast.
i like to serve.  to make Her happy.  take care of Her wants and needs.  other then that,  there's just something about a strong Woman that is ... Mmmmmm . soo enjoyable.  ;)

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 10:57:54 AM   
janiebelle


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xiam

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
1. They enjoy pleasing another
2. They carry too much responsibility during the day and want to give it up at home
3. They enjoy the feeling of trust that they get when they hand over power
4. They like the attention they get when they bottom
5. They simply get hot on the physical sensations of being spanked, nipples clamped, etc.


This is a really good list, actually.  If we're talking about "root desires" (aside from deeper psychological patterns), i think this comes pretty close for a lot of people, including me. The OP's list is more the physical manifestation of such desires.  Maybe?

Food for thought, anyway!



That might be an accurate description, that of the physical manifestation.
If you add to DarkSteven's list the aspects of:
devotion to a deserving dominant
the intrinsic "balance" of personalities in a power exchange
the sense of "completion" found in a suitable dominant
the idea becomes fleshed out even more.
I'm sure I've left a lot out, and standard YMMV disclaimer applies, but I think you are on the right track.  What drives us, and what might be seen by others, are often very different.
j

(in reply to xiam)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 12:08:52 PM   
Born2BMasochist


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/19/2009
Status: offline 		Op, I believe these may be qualities you are looking for in a sub and not to say you will not find it. There is someone for everyone IMO. But respectfully , you can not generalize the qualities to all subs, Bout the only one I am into is servatude. Dark Steven I do like your more in depth approach, and you are correct to add your disclaimer, Because your llist too are qualities that make a good sub. But I believe ultimately the qualities I pocess as a sub are between my Dom and myself. And if there is a minor quality that He may ask me to change, I will do so willingly, knowing that only he has my best intersest at heart. Also dont stop there OP cause this is how you are figuring out what you do want. But IMO you want someone strong that is not weak and relies on you. That will be a lot to handle.

(in reply to janiebelle)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 1:58:49 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

What do other people think?
 
you forgot:
 
5) Loneliness
6) Boredom
7) Hearty Sexual Appetite
8) Spiritual Calling

(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 3:50:25 PM   
oceanwinds


Posts: 530
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuardianOfWeak

I tend to be a very analytical thinker and apply that in many ways. One thing I've noticed amongst subs is four general categories that seem to define the root of their interests:

1) Feeling Dirty
2) Humiliation
3) Servitude
4) Helplessness

What do other people think?



1.) feeling dirty does not describe me. I get great pleaure in being me...whore

2.) humiliation- not my cup of tea

3.) servitude- work in the counseling fields, so yes i have serving mentality. I do also enjoy serving Sir.

4.) Helplessness---oh heck no. Nothing helpless about me, and I not looking nor need a knight. Now I might like to ride their horse though.. Yes, i will take the horse and let them save them self.

Analyzing anything takes a lot of time, and making errors with your projected view. It is not uncommon to have to scratch your first ideas and start with a clean slate.

Welcome to the boards.

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 4:52:08 PM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuardianOfWeak

I tend to be a very analytical thinker and apply that in many ways. One thing I've noticed amongst subs is four general categories that seem to define the root of their interests:

1) Feeling Dirty
2) Humiliation
3) Servitude
4) Helplessness

What do other people think?



Doesn't really apply to me. Number three is perhaps the closest to a motivation, but only if it has a purpose ... the pleasure isn't in the service itself, it's the sense of purpose it gives me and pleasure it brings my dom.

When I think of words that define what I get out of it... security, stability, emotional satisfaction, direction, stress relief, comfort, and a heightened sense of intimacy and closeness all come to mind.




(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 5:01:14 PM   
justme1980


Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuardianOfWeak

I tend to be a very analytical thinker and apply that in many ways. One thing I've noticed amongst subs is four general categories that seem to define the root of their interests:

1) Feeling Dirty
2) Humiliation
3) Servitude
4) Helplessness

What do other people think?



Wondering how many subs you actually spoke to to draw these conclusions

(in reply to GuardianOfWeak)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Analyzing D/s - 7/6/2009 5:44:32 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Oh Darlin.....lemme give you my list:

1) Strength
2)Character
3) Belief in herself
4) Capable
5) Courageous

One word that you will NEVER find on this list is stupid...And it would take a high level of stupidity to accept a dom with a list such as yours.





_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 40
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