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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/9/2009 8:22:24 PM   
herbcaroll


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/3/2008
Status: offline 		A 15 year old bottle of McCallan might go for $70. Knock off one a week, and there is your $250-300 but you get that pleasure for most of the month....not an hour or two. A bag of hydro might for for $100 for 7 grams. Once again, if that is market rate, some will pay it and others won't. None of these things are necessary, but it doesn't mean you don't want them. Scotch is a little different because if the price gets too high, you can always switch to a Single Barrel bourbon like Maker's Mark for less. Other products or services don't have a substitute. As a sub, I really have no viable alternative to a good whipping but whether I choose to pay the price for it is up to me. I can live without it, and at this price, I will. Milton Freedman is smiling in his grave.
To be perfectly clear, I am not complaining or whining about the prices charged for the services. I am simply not choosing to engage in said services at the going rate. I'm in the process of working other angles in terms of bartering services I can provide for those that others can provide. Time will tell if this will work or not.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/9/2009 8:24:55 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Some Subs (like me) had friends (Dommes) who wouldn't charge a thing. What it was is, she and I ( & her husband) all had FUN ! I would never pay for anything for sessions, since I and the Domme should both be having FUN, or why bother doing it in the first place.

Now I do understand the pro Dommes too. It took a lot of time for MADAM, planing and doing things, when most of the time, she did all the work (Tying, Gagging, Rider Cropping, Nipple Torture), while I mostly laid and took it all. With the Pro Dommes, they have more than 1 sub trying to get to them, so that is a load of time taken up. They do have to pay for that time some how, since they aren't getting FUN from it, like I did.

Payless Sub BalletBob

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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/9/2009 8:43:40 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: herbcaroll

A 15 year old bottle of McCallan might go for $70. Knock off one a week, and there is your $250-300 but you get that pleasure for most of the month....not an hour or two. A bag of hydro might for for $100 for 7 grams. Once again, if that is market rate, some will pay it and others won't. None of these things are necessary, but it doesn't mean you don't want them. Scotch is a little different because if the price gets too high, you can always switch to a Single Barrel bourbon like Maker's Mark for less. Other products or services don't have a substitute. As a sub, I really have no viable alternative to a good whipping but whether I choose to pay the price for it is up to me. I can live without it, and at this price, I will. Milton Freedman is smiling in his grave.
To be perfectly clear, I am not complaining or whining about the prices charged for the services. I am simply not choosing to engage in said services at the going rate. I'm in the process of working other angles in terms of bartering services I can provide for those that others can provide. Time will tell if this will work or not.

Thank you for the information.  As I said, I honestly didn't know.

I do have to say that your estimate is probably too low.  I don't think you're taking into account things such as dungeon rental/play space or supplies.  Even if you were providing the space, you're not thinking at all of travel expenses.  At seventy dollars, you are probably asking the Domme to incur expense.


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(in reply to herbcaroll)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/9/2009 8:59:44 PM   
herbcaroll


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/3/2008
Status: offline 		Hopefully, I can find someone who just likes me and I like them and I'll supply the gear doesn't have to be a prison basement with a wooden sawhorse and a prison matron outfit to do the job. But this may be like the echoes in the canyons of the disappearing dreams of yesterday. I don't expect a full blown pro to do it for $70. I am aware that is too low. But for me, $300 is too high. Oh well. The pros can easily live without me, and I can live without them. I wish them no ill; in Dick Cheney's Amerikkka get what ever you can how ever you can get it. But I can't party and pay a Pro so I guess we live with our decisions. I'm fine with mine.
To any pros who read my posts, I never meant any disrespect. This was simply the subject of the original topic, so I felt compelled to add to it and I tried to do so in an articulate, respectful manner. I don't have college playmates anymore, so I've looked into the pro market for the first time and have drawn my conclusions.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/9/2009 9:06:56 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Again as I stated in my first post, I am niether for or against Pro Dommes. I was simply doing a simple math exercise based on what the average US worker makes. Math is math, it does not lie.

And you are right about planning. If you want something put a plan together to get it. I have been in the lifestlye for 15+ years. My fetish in latex. Actually I think latex is even more expensive than going to a Pro Domme on a regular basis! But as a result of planning and hard work I have a Dungeon and wardrobe that Demask and Cocoon would be impressed with.

Do Pro Dommes deserve to make $300/hour? Simple answer comes from capitalist America. If a person is willing to pay that amount than yes. If you are charging $300/hour and have clients and answer is yes. If you are advertising for $300/hour and have no clients then the answer is now. Basic laws of supply and demand. It would be interesting to see if over the last 10 years if the average price/hour of a Pro Domme has dropped due to the Internet making it much simpler for Dommes to start a Pro Domme business? Things tha make you go hmmm!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Yep, some people cannot afford it. But guess what? It is a luxury and not a right. I work in a job that pays me fairly well but I pay for my own stuff if I need it, pray that I never need a doctor for anything because I don't have insurance.
I have not had a vacation in 5 yrs. Vacations are not a right they are a result of planning, time, a money. It is a luxury and not a right. I don't moan and complain about it.
I never get why all these people who complain think their life is so difficult because it costs too much to get their jollies.
Whack it yourself. I do.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Minimum wage in Ohio is $7:00/hour and $8:00/ hour in California. If you go to the govement census page for 2000 - 2001, the average worker in the US made $16:23/hour. Again if you do the math, that person cannot afford a Pro Domme on a regular basis.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I know it's different for every one, but Daddy makes close to 600 dollars a pay check, and at his other job location* same job just new location* he was making almost 700 to 800 *and even with the percentage the 401k takes how he's still bringing home about 556 dollars a pay check. And yes he works about 40 hours a week. And I think his minimum wage is like 9.50 an hour, but I can't be sure.


quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Well, lets do a little math to see how feasible it is for an average person to afford a Pro Domme

Lets take an average person, oh making $12/hour. For a 40 hour work week they gross $480. Okay lets take out taxes, insurance etc. $480 x 0.68 = $326






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(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/9/2009 9:33:47 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

You mean male?  I doubt there is much of a demand but I once bemoaned to someone with whom I'd had a D/s relationship that it could be nice (If I could wrap my brain around sacrificing some/lots of what's sacred to me about D/s) and find a hot, male pro-top to take care of the not overtly sexual ideation I was having.  He was disturbed (And likely jealous) of my even voicing the contemplation but who knows, perhaps there are a bunch of hetero tops out there (Again, I'm assuming you mean male) and I just have never heard of one. 
Davan


yes, I'm asking about males. I never thought a heterosexual dom could go pro.

a) too many people giving it away for free
b) I don't know too many submissives/slaves who would have the money to spend on it.



Yes, but there's the matter of quality over quantity: relationship material's in the lower percentages, imo. 
As to the idea of a female s-type not being able to afford the services of a male D-type, are you women would be able to afford pro males less-so then males affording pro-females? 
I'm by no means wealthy but I've always figured out ways to budget for things that interest me, so, at least in my case, were it a service I was willing to pursue, I would be able to provide the funds. 
  Davan

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(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/9/2009 11:10:03 PM   
MistressIlliana


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/15/2009
Status: offline 		[color=#ff0000 size=4]I put it on my profile that im a pro domme those who dont agree with it can pass up my profile...

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/10/2009 1:54:56 AM   
nevergrowdup


Posts: 86
Joined: 12/1/2007
Status: offline 		Last year I went to a local kink picnic where there were a few sub women talking about how they should charge their Dom's "Owners Association Fees" to cover their expenses for their upkeep and maintenance ... wardrobe, hair, manicures, etc.  It was a clever take on Home Owners Association fees.

Point is, there are expenses for both Dom(me)s and subs, though typically the Dom(me)s carry most of the financial burden.

Unfortunately for my male friends, there seems to be a supply and demand issue that doesn't work in their favor, at least if we're talking quality.  That's true for Doms, but is especially true for male subs.  Couple that with the fact that, for many men, they don't need the emotional bond ... or they may be unskilled at the emotional care and feeding of a woman.  It's understandable why men would be willing to pay for Pro-Dommes or "Owners Association" fees to subs.  It's money well spent to keep them blissfully kinked.

I have empathy to all parties involved, really.  Not only to men, but to Pro-Dommes as well as those subs who don't have disposible income and feel they need to charge "Owners Association Fees."

I'm a submissive who is financially comfortable.  Sure, I could be doing better.  (Can't we all?)  But I'm able to pay my bills and have put money aside for a rainy day.  And right now I'm in one of those rainy day situations ... with one kid in college and the ex out of work.  But I'm still able to make the mortgage, occasionally splurge for a night out, get my hair cut.  With this in mind ... WARNING ... my next thoughts might sound judgmental.

For me, I find it distasteful for money to enter into a D/s relationship.  (When there's a committed M/s situation, that's totally different.)  If I go out with a Dom, I'll offer to pay my share or take turns.  If a Dom wants to be chivalrous about paying the bill, I'm OK with that, but will then make it up in different ways.  I might make him dinner ... or bring over carry out once in a while.  The point is, if there's a financial imbalance, it doesn't feel right.  I want the Dom to know that I'm not doing this because I'm out for a free dinner, gifts, or spending money.  It's my expectation that he won't treat me merely as property, but rather as a person with emotional needs as well as a pulse.  My motivation for keeping an even financial playing field is very simple:  I want him to know that I have a submissive heart.  It's my nature to serve, and I do so willingly.

And I'm very glad that I have the resoures to live by my principles.


(in reply to MistressIlliana)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/10/2009 8:51:22 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think anyone considers that a pro dom would be charging for a relationship.  It is business plain and simple and where there is a need to be met and disposable cash availble to make it happen.  I really would not paying a pro IF there was a male dom out there who charged and who knew his stuff.  Yes men do give it away for free but there are always strings.  BJ BJ BJ, anal, ect., are more often the required payment demanded for services rendered.  And heck.. if I really needed to vent my maso urge I could always go to a rough rowdy bar and start trouble.  lol. 
Within a relationship I find money irrelevant.  But I do have the cash for service that does not require the tip (above), if there were male pro's.  I just don't see that as something a person can find.
Kyst

(in reply to nevergrowdup)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/10/2009 8:55:34 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Pro doms do not often have relationships with their clients.   We might be more sociable with some, having dinner with them, perhaps, but our private lives are  separate. 

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(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/10/2009 9:06:23 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I don't think anyone considers that a pro dom would be charging for a relationship.  It is business plain and simple and where there is a need to be met and disposable cash availble to make it happen.  I really would not paying a pro IF there was a male dom out there who charged and who knew his stuff.  Yes men do give it away for free but there are always strings.  BJ BJ BJ, anal, ect., are more often the required payment demanded for services rendered.  And heck.. if I really needed to vent my maso urge I could always go to a rough rowdy bar and start trouble.  lol. 
Within a relationship I find money irrelevant.  But I do have the cash for service that does not require the tip (above), if there were male pro's.  I just don't see that as something a person can find.
Kyst


I see a couple of clear benefits that come from a pay-for-play relationship:

1) No emotional entanglements, no strings attached
2) No guess work - you get what you pay for, or negotiate for.
3) A fully equipped dungeon and great gear
4) Anonymity and instant gratification

As a femdom with heavy topping urges, if there was even a fraction of the "market" for pro male subs as there are for pro femdoms, I'd be in heaven. Meaning, if I could browse the Web and see countless sites from men of all shapes, sizes, beauty in fully equipped dungeons or houses where I could literally walk in and pick any of 5 or 6 men that I could bind, torture and humiliate in a fully geared dungeon - and then walk away and never see him again -- HOT!  Why?  Because it's fast, easy and convenient.  No drama.  Eye candy only.  It's physical, selfish, and shallow - and if I am paying for it, who cares?   And there's no risk of emotional or romantic complications, no uncomfortable conversations about "feelings I didn't think I would have," and no worrying about him constantly calling or emailing me when I want to call it quits. It's a nice ideas as a SUPPLEMENT to an already good, romantic, adoring relationship that is kinky.  In other words, I don't see it as a replacement for a loving kinky relationship, I see it as spice.

I've long had this fantasy and acted on it twice. Once with a male escort and one with a pro-male-sub in a dungeon co-topping with a pro switch. Both were well worth the money. I just wish there were a TON of variety out there - and yes, my email box gets full of guys saying "You can top me for free honey" - but I want a fully equipped dungeon, with a guy who looks like Johnny Depp and can take pain like no tomorrow - or has more bondage gear than even I do. With a nice body and who has to actually work very hard to keep his apperance (all that stuff the pro femdoms have to do - the outfits, the perfect nails, the hair - I want a man as well mainained as that! After all,I am paying for it!).  Mostly though, I long for the variety.  Do I want a blonde?  A goth?  A jock?  Someone in a business suit today, someone else in lingerie next week? 

The market does not exist so it will never happen.  But as far as expenses go and disposable income, for me, it's like choosing between getting glass seats in a very high end hockey market for a great game and a few hours of hot pleasure anonymously with a sexy boytoy; I might be willing to give up those great seats now and then for the convenience.

Akasha


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(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/10/2009 2:02:36 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I'm half-pro...semi-pro? Something like that?

I'll do real-time IM stuff with cams and such.....but I require something for the time I'm using. Normally I multitask; carry on three conversations at once, have bread rising or stock cooling or something in the oven, and am quite possibly hanging out in jeans and an old sweater while at the computer. For me to get dressed up and made up for cam and give someone my entire attention? He gets an orgasm, and what do I get? I get.... nothing, unless I say, "I want something off my Amazon list." I think it is a fair trade of my time and attention and creativity.

Of course, if someone's local and wants a realtime relationship, while I appreciate books, I don't require them. But that's because in real-time before I beat his ass, he scrubbed my kitchen floor. (Isn't that an appealing view? Yes, indeed....) and so I got something besides the vague satisfaction of having done things well out of it.

But I don't get an orgasm out of beating someone, and don't necessarily want to have sex with everyone willing to submit to me, so I have to get my satisfactions in another way.



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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/10/2009 2:47:47 PM   
LyraLaLaurie


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexandraLynch

I'm half-pro...semi-pro? Something like that?

I'll do real-time IM stuff with cams and such.....but I require something for the time I'm using. Normally I multitask; carry on three conversations at once, have bread rising or stock cooling or something in the oven, and am quite possibly hanging out in jeans and an old sweater while at the computer. For me to get dressed up and made up for cam and give someone my entire attention? He gets an orgasm, and what do I get? I get.... nothing, unless I say, "I want something off my Amazon list." I think it is a fair trade of my time and attention and creativity.



This is something I wonder about...I don't like asking for gifts but by the time I get online to chat, I'm usually tired out from my day, doing homework or busy.  I don't get much out of it.  But I guess that sounds pretty logical...

(in reply to AlexandraLynch)
Profile   Post #: 93
Too poor? I don't think that's it. - 7/11/2009 12:40:06 PM   
angeldmort


Posts: 54
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		I don't think for the general masses, it has anything to do with price. I think it's the idea of "I'm not going to PAY for it." Heaven forbid.... They want to show up, be given what they want, have a full session with someone else paying for everything, have someone create a lovely safe space with everything ready, have someone spend the time planning a personally tailored session, and do the physical work of carrying it out, after which they can go home to their regular life with no obligations. Just like they go to a restaurant and have someone else cook, wash up, keep things clean, wait on them, etc. I don't see anyone insisting that a professional chef doesn't enjoy cooking because he refuses to do it for everyone for nothing.   As has been said here - if they were willing to do much in return, they wouldn't need a pro. On the upside, there are lots of good ideas here for how to arrange some compensation, and lots of good reasons not to feel bad for expecting something equal  in return. I haven't even started down this road yet, and I'm already fed up with men wanting freebies. ::repeating 500 times to self:: I am not a mean person for not wanting to give away my time, money and energy without getting something back. I am NOT a greedy, selfish, mean person for not wanting to give away my time money and energy without getting something back. I am not a mean, grasping selfish person....

(in reply to LyraLaLaurie)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Too poor? I don't think that's it. - 7/11/2009 12:59:47 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angeldmort
I am not a mean person for not wanting to give away my time, money and energy without getting something back.

No, you're not.  You're a sane person.  If you're not getting something out of it, you will be sucked dry.  It's ok to invest in someone; I've certainly done it.  But make sure you're getting paid back in some way -- preferably emotionally or spiritually, not (just?) financially.  Otherwise, you will burn out.


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(in reply to angeldmort)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/11/2009 2:31:54 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: funnyegg

I read on some boards the moanings of some subs who complain that Pro-Dommes charge too much per hour and that they cannot afford to session with one. They're being greedy and all that mush.

Given sufficient cost-cutting and saving up, sooner or later the money for a single session can be found.

This got me wondering, is it a lack of ready cash or a lack of nerve the real reason that some first time subbies won't session with a Pro-Domme?




The same people probably winge and whine about going to a Doctor, Dentist or even a Lawyer and heaven forbid paying the right price for a Tradesman to do a good job. Mean bastards they are no more and no less.... Scrooges .... I do a lot of work either at cost or even pro bono for those who are financially challenged and yet with corporate clients they pay my full price of $150 an hour so it balances out the rich subsidise the poor even if I actuially don't see much in personal income for my services..


< Message edited by IronBear -- 7/11/2009 2:34:33 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/11/2009 4:46:15 PM   
TheLadyLolaNJ


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/24/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BalletBob

Some Subs (like me) had friends (Dommes) who wouldn't charge a thing. What it was is, she and I ( & her husband) all had FUN ! I would never pay for anything for sessions, since I and the Domme should both be having FUN, or why bother doing it in the first place.

Now I do understand the pro Dommes too. It took a lot of time for MADAM, planing and doing things, when most of the time, she did all the work (Tying, Gagging, Rider Cropping, Nipple Torture), while I mostly laid and took it all. With the Pro Dommes, they have more than 1 sub trying to get to them, so that is a load of time taken up. They do have to pay for that time some how, since they aren't getting FUN from it, like I did.

Payless Sub BalletBob



I don't understand why people think that because I'm paid for my Dommeing time, that it means it's not fun for me. Is it because they hate thier own jobs so much they don't understand that I LOVE mine, and take great joy in it? Is it so hard to believe that I take great pleasure in what I do, and do it with interest, joy, sensuality, and enthusiasm? Aren't we all looking to love our work, to get up in the morning smiling and looking forward to the fulfillment it brings us?
I have that as a Pro Switch. And if you don't love your work, I'm sorry to hear that, but that doesn't mean I don't have a ridiculous amount of "FUN" at mine.

(in reply to BalletBob)
Profile   Post #: 97
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