Rudeness

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HarleyBeauty -> Rudeness (2/16/2006 4:51:36 PM)
so what is it that compels people to write nasty emails to a person when they don't like their profile. I changed mine recently because I was tired of the Wanna Bee Masters, and the bull. So I was very straight forward about what I think (hummm a sub with a mind too, what a concept) sorry tangent there, what I want and what i need. I keep getting emails in the bulk folder from Men (?) saying that I am a "bitch". When I try to email them back, they are blocked. Seems rightly chicken to me.

slavejali -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 5:03:29 PM)
Cause some people have negative minds and want to share that with others like a disease? Sorry your getting harsh emails.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 5:09:26 PM)
I just looked at your profile and while I agree whole-heartedly with what you say about the chickens, AND with what you are stating in your journal, I suspect that what is happening is that men are not reading down to the more positive part of your profile because that long list of Do Not Contact Me If...comes first. I can see how that might be off-putting. Now, the argument here is that you might be thinking: If they can't be bothered to read the whole thing then who needs them..., and that's valid. But it also might cause many nice people to misread your profile as being overly negative and move on without getting to know the real you. I'm not sure whether you wanted this unsolicited opinion so please forgive me if you didn't. I know how hard it can be to write these darn profiles, trust me! Cin

jimej6 -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 5:20:19 PM)
Negativity happens but it is largely due to self-esteem issues, unfortunately it’s an all to common thing. All I can say after looking at your profile is I'm unhappy your 3000 miles a way or Id ask you out for some coffee. You cant let it get you down, abuse and stupidity don’t sound like what you are looking for anyway, Good luck in your search. RP

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 5:30:10 PM)
I understand your frustration, and I don't believe you should be receiving unsolicited, nasty emails anyway. It just shows immaturity on the part of the sender. But, in all fairness, as a Domina, if you were a submissive boy, you would be labeled as "do me, do me". There has been a thread or two on these boards which claim that the boys are given a hard time, while the girls get lots of petting and understanding. It is not only that you have a big list of reasons for "do not contact me" at the beginning of your profile, but even as you move on, your profile sounds like it is dictating what the Domiant must be willing to provide for you. It just doesn't sound very submissive. I repeat, this doesn't justify the nasty emails. But it might justify a lack of interest in trying to get to know you in the first place. So maybe little to no email? Of course, I don't really know what else you get in your box. Seems I have heard that if you are female, on either side of the whip, the emails flood in. Profiles are hard to write, and it is not easy to come across the way you feel best represents you. Right now you sound angry. There are ways to be firm without sounding like you are ready to slug someone in the face. Hoping you don't feel like I am stepping on toes here...Good luck.

sweetnessforsir -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 5:33:13 PM)
well how do you expect them to practice humiliation play? and isolation? i find the evil mean emails more than a bit amusing . . . . particularly when i, a lowly sub, can elicit such a response from a <coughs> Dom.

SimplyV -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 5:33:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful I just looked at your profile and while I agree whole-heartedly with what you say about the chickens, AND with what you are stating in your journal, I suspect that what is happening is that men are not reading down to the more positive part of your profile because that long list of Do Not Contact Me If...comes first. I can see how that might be off-putting. Now, the argument here is that you might be thinking: If they can't be bothered to read the whole thing then who needs them..., and that's valid. But it also might cause many nice people to misread your profile as being overly negative and move on without getting to know the real you. I'm not sure whether you wanted this unsolicited opinion so please forgive me if you didn't. I know how hard it can be to write these darn profiles, trust me! Cin I concur. I read her profile and saw exactly what you were trying to say. There is a long list. I was tired of it by the third "do not contact me"... It would be best probably if she grouped it all together in a more concise statement with maybe a bit of humor.. for example: "Please .. Do not read further or waste my time by contacting me if: You're are married, wanting a playtoy, or looking for online wank material. Or if your picture of a perfect sub is dumb, no opinions, and a human pinyata." Or she could rephrase all her "do not contact me" into "Keep reading if" statements.. If you're single, keep reading. If you're looking for an intelligent sub adept at conversation, keep reading. The first part of her profile as it stands now .. sounds jaded and bitchy, which I don't think is what she was trying to express. I think she's just frustrated. As for the rude emails... I get those from time to time too. For no apparent reason. I got a lot more as a sub I think than I do now. I just trash em and move on.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 6:26:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarleyBeauty so what is it that compels people to write nasty emails to a person when they don't like their profile. I changed mine recently because I was tired of the Wanna Bee Masters, and the bull. So I was very straight forward about what I think (hummm a sub with a mind too, what a concept) sorry tangent there, what I want and what i need. I keep getting emails in the bulk folder from Men (?) saying that I am a "bitch". When I try to email them back, they are blocked. Seems rightly chicken to me. I have gotten the same thing.I agree its not a very mature way to deal with things.

Real0ne -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 6:54:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarleyBeauty so what is it that compels people to write nasty emails to a person when they don't like their profile. I changed mine recently because I was tired of the Wanna Bee Masters, and the bull. So I was very straight forward about what I think (hummm a sub with a mind too, what a concept) sorry tangent there, what I want and what i need. I keep getting emails in the bulk folder from Men (?) saying that I am a "bitch". When I try to email them back, they are blocked. Seems rightly chicken to me. i tried to cover the highlights of your profile and if i missed anything it should be pretty easy to stuff it in there somewhere. i was thinking it may be in the manner in which you present yourself so i took what you said and sort of edited for you. try it and see if this makes a difference. i am a huge rudeness opponent and have a zillion posts regarding it. good luck to you! r1 serious only please, and i am not interested in married men, cyber, couples, sadists, or those who only want a doormat or their main interest is in sex. i am seeking my one partner and companion over the age of 45, someone firm and strong willed with his own life under control, someone who is solvent, and who deires a 24/7 relationship. i am not a big tv fan, love to ride and listen to nonstop music all day, love politics, law and construction too! i am a sub with a full range personality and i can be bratty at times so a man with a strong constitution is ideal, and you can always count on my honesty and candor in all things. some things i hope my partner will also enjoy are: add the list on the bottom of your profile.

iamready -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 7:30:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetnessforsir i find the evil mean emails more than a bit amusing . . . . particularly when i, a lowly sub, can elicit such a response from a <coughs> Dom. LOL - well said.

HarleyBeauty -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 9:16:14 PM)
Thank you all for your responses, all of them have been read and no one "stepped on toes". My point in my profile is simple. I am tired of the jerks. I know we all have to deal with them and they are everywhere, and admittedly I was pretty pissed off when I wrote it, and expresed exactly what I was thinking without abandin. I especially appreciate the "rewrite" by SimplyV. I could soften it up. On the positive side I have met a couple of men, who are extremely intellegent, and have possibilities. Both of which have stated that, they were impresses with the honesty and straight fowardness of my profile and saw the humor in it where it actually was. So for now, I will keep deleting the little boys and consider revision in the future. Again, thank you all for your comments. I appreciate your time and opinions.

cravinspankin -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 9:29:01 PM)
At least they're reading your profile. Almost every message I've gotten in the last month from men who say they're interested are from people who clearly didn't read my profile.. as they're all long distance.

amayos -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 10:27:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetnessforsir well how do you expect them to practice humiliation play? and isolation? i find the evil mean emails more than a bit amusing . . . . particularly when i, a lowly sub, can elicit such a response from a <coughs> Dom. Well spake.

IronBear -> RE: Rudeness (2/16/2006 11:15:43 PM)
There are some, unfortinately, who enjoy destroying the peace, beauty and harmony of others. thet are sick, sad and sorry individuals who have no joy or beauty in their own lives and hate it when they see others who have such treasures...

MysticalPhoenix -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 4:35:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear There are some, unfortinately, who enjoy destroying the peace, beauty and harmony of others. thet are sick, sad and sorry individuals who have no joy or beauty in their own lives and hate it when they see others who have such treasures... what he said...and he said it beautifully No matter what online dating service you use, you are going to get those kind of emails. Just hit delete and ignore them (unless they are particularly good, then you can always forward them to your friends with appropriate editorial comments). Phoenix

ItsTimeBendOver -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 5:07:34 AM)
A question most wortly of an answer. May I politely offer my perspective ... Let us start here: "OK. Here we go Let's offend some people" & "Wow...my first day on the site and I recieved 138 mail messages"!! (The last two quotes came from a group of 30 submissive profiles). First, am I as a "REAL DOM" supposed to be impressed that she got 138 mail messages? I am offended with the second submissives profile and have not read past the first sentence. So little respect for anyone. No common courtsey. Just because its a D/s site does not mean courtsey and respect for others does not count. Do these submissives interact with everyone in their vanilla world with the same "Arrogance"? I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut that if they did they would be called a "BITCH". For some reason it occurs to me that because this is an environment of power exchange that its ok to be "RUDE" with what they write. Sorry YES! I do find profiles that tell me all things they do not want, will not do, and demands they make "RUDE". If you cannot get away with that kind of behavior in the vanilla world, what makes ok in this one? Unfortunately, these kind of profiles are not isolated. I know, just blame this kind of behavior on DOM wannabes, its an easy way to justify "RUDE" behavior. Perhaps one would be better suited to constructing a profile that is positive, reinforcing, & inviting and then sort out the jerks. Wait, that may take time and effort! Personally I do not see real submissives as door mats at all they are my compliment, my love, my soul .... BUT THEY ARE SUBMISSIVE!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 5:52:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ItsTimeBendOver BUT THEY ARE SUBMISSIVE! And what does that mean?

ItsTimeBendOver -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 6:39:57 AM)
Clever Girl! The question you ask demands an answer based on perspectives. I could skirt around the issue by citing how the Webster's dictionary defines submissive, or look it up the the Funk & Wagnall's, but that would hardly be right. So ... perhaps I can answer first with what a submissive is not. First, "SHE IS NOT IN CHARGE". "SHE DOES NOT DOMINATE WITH HER LANGUAGE AND ACTIONS". "SHE DOES NOT TELL A DOMINANT THE WAY ITS GOING TO BE". "SHE IS NOT A DOORMAT". Now what she is ...... A most precious gift. She is love. She is the beginning and end of a Dominants soul. She is a woman, a person, a being. She is to be loved, cherished, and respected. She has freely given the most valued of her possessions ... "HERSELF" As with all things submissives come in a variety of packages. It is when a woman holds herself out as a submissive, and uses her beauty as a snare that corrupts. She knows that she will get hundreds of letters from guys, so its of little consequence to her what she writes, to her it simply does not matter. It is never right to build ones own ego at the expense of another. If a submissive seeks that kind of power she is not a "SUBMISSIVE" ... I can never be a true Dominant without a true Submissive and therein lies the key.

KatyLied -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 6:41:35 AM)
quote: A most precious gift. oh god, not that gift thing. Again.

thetammyjo -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 6:47:20 AM)
I don't know the answer to this and it quite similar to a question I asked about a month ago. Some suggestions people gave me was 1) the person is just mean or 2) the person is attempting to get some reaction from you. I'd put them on "block" and report the email to mod (who may or may not do anything) but I wouldn't reply to the negative email at all.

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