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RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:07:38 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
And I have to say, it often seems to me that such people think there some kind of trick to this, or that it's unsafe to be honest and straight-up.  You're a lot more likely to make your fantasies become reality if you act real.



I have to agree with Red here.  I realize that Red, Merc, and I are all men and the risks we face are less than for a woman.  HOWEVER, all of us have met a LOT of women (well Merc is a bit shy) and we met most of them rather quickly.  Most of those women had met other men as well and, gasp, SURVIVED!

That said, I don't blame Domme's for testing guys a bit, BSB and I used to share passwords when we were together.  For a male dom, I get a hell of a lot of mail but the amount of mail she got was stunning!  Having a cut and paste screening email could work although I would rather just put it in my profile as many Dommes do.



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:11:02 PM   
LaughingFemDom


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		I do love Monty Python, so my husband has teased me that those should be my questions, LOL.

But no, my questions are related to the BDSM world in general.  One has to do with a famous Mistress, and the other asks for BDSM references in a particular Shakespearean play.

I discussed my questions with another Femdom Circle friend of mine and she confirmed my questions are fun and non-threatening.  The fact is that I had over 50 guys approach me in less than 24 hours of being on this site, and I really needed a way to sort the ones who'd play along with me from the ones who just want to be - honestly this is a direct quote - "why can't I just be bitch slapped around.'

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:13:22 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

I had a very simple test for any person I considered. One question: "What time and where do you want to meet?" You have two weeks to complete the task. It was an "open book" test. My "book" was open. I disclosed my full name, address, personal and business phone numbers and provided a website to my business where they could see a picture of the same person. I also instructed them to not call my extension directly but instead call the main switchboard through the 800 number and ask for me by the last name.

Will you mentor me oh great one!
First, as an applicant, you must wait three days outside the gate without food, shelter. or encouragement. You may then enter and begin your training.

Bring with you the following:


  • 2 black shirts
  • 2 pair of black pants
  • 1 pair black boots
  • 2 pair of Black socks
  • 1 black jacket
  • $500 for personal burial money


No wait - that was another Club!

Oh never mind - it will work for this too!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 7/10/2009 4:17:08 PM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:13:44 PM   
vasha


Posts: 99
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I'm not going to devote my limited time on subs who refuse to do what I say from Day 1. 

for many, submission comes after trust is established... wich doesnt happen usually from "day 1". with all due respect,  you may be haveing unrealistic expectations.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:18:18 PM   
LaughingFemDom


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		FWIW, CatdeMedici is a brilliant handle....love it!

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:35:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The only test that I ever intentionally put up for clip was the very same thing that I put up to any married male who wanted to play.  I have to be able to talk to your wife, tell her in detail what I am going to do to you, and with that knowledge, she has to approve of your participation.  To date, he (and she) have been the singular to pass that test.

Other that than, I don't specifically create tests.  There are enough challenges in life which allow Me to assess an individual by the way they respond.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaughingFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:43:27 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

I had a very simple test for any person I considered. One question: "What time and where do you want to meet?" You have two weeks to complete the task. It was an "open book" test. My "book" was open. I disclosed my full name, address, personal and business phone numbers and provided a website to my business where they could see a picture of the same person. I also instructed them to not call my extension directly but instead call the main switchboard through the 800 number and ask for me by the last name.

Will you mentor me oh great one!
First, as an applicant, you must wait three days outside the gate without food, shelter. or encouragement. You may then enter and begin your training.

Bring with you the following:
  • 2 black shirts
  • 2 pair of black pants
  • 1 pair black boots
  • 2 pair of Black socks
  • 1 black jacket
  • $500 for personal burial money


No wait - that was another Club!

Oh never mind - it will work for this too!


Can they be any size or do they have to fit me?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:45:14 PM   
LaughingFemDom


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		Responding to SteelofUtah here: 

I don't think that expecting an original answer to my three questions is the same thing as demanding immediate and complete control from Day 1. But yes, I am testing right from the first email and my process tells me plenty. It tells me if the sub is willing to play along with my rules or is he just a brat that just wants to be disciplined and not asked to think. It also tells me the sub is capable of following my directions and willing to do a (slight) amount of work and maybe learn something new. Also, is he willing to write an original email on a topic of my choice or is he sending me the same form letter that he has probably sent to a dozen other Doms. Honestly I got an email from a guy who addressed me by another Dom's handle because he couldn't be bothered to change his form letter. Who needs that? Not me, no way. 

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 4:52:33 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Wait a minute.  You're serious.  Your profile states you will only answer emails if someone suggests a brand-new BDSM game to play, and if a guy writes you and says, "How about needleplay cribbage?  Draw the board on a sub with crayon or wax, and move the pegs around by inserting them into the sub's skin.  Winner gets to orchestrate the scene for the night."  ... and you still would require a filter to be able to decide if the person is interesting, or willing to follow your direction?

Don't make your life harder than it needs to be.  Despite the size of your inbox, good subs are a lot harder to find than you might think.  If you think I'm wrong, post a question on the Ask A Mistress board, and see what kind of responses you get.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LaughingFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 5:08:56 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingFemDom

Have any of you submissives been tested before being allowed to begin training or serving a dom?  If so, how?

I am a FemDom who asks the same 3 email questions to all my prospective submissives before I'll spend time chatting with them any further. I test subbies this way because:
1. I'm not going to devote my limited time on subs who refuse to do what I say from Day 1.  If a sub won't even answer a question, how can I have confidence he'll open up in other ways?
2. Assuming the sub doesn't know the answer already, he'll have to research it. I figure that if a guy is not curious enough to learn something new, I'm not the right Dom for him anyway.

Thoughts?


As a Pro (male) Sub I too have a series of questions.  Depending on their response....I allow them to approach:

1)  How do you look naked?

2)  Assuming your average living room...how would you look naked in my living room?

3)  How would you look naked....in my living room....smothering me with kisses.....incredibly naked....in my living room.....with a whole bunch of nakedness....lot's of kissing naturally....(repeat as needed)?

4)  Can you cook?

For those that pass the above test:

5)  How do you look, naked, cooking, near my living room, kissing me a lot, nakedness everywhere (you....not me)....with kissing all the time and an incredible amount of (your) nakedness?

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 7/10/2009 5:09:54 PM >

(in reply to LaughingFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 5:16:59 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

"How about needleplay cribbage?  Draw the board on a sub with crayon or wax, and move the pegs around by inserting them into the sub's skin.  Winner gets to orchestrate the scene for the night."


<Said with a most evil glint in the eye>

Hey Red......  Wanna play?


(Sorry, Dude.  The joke was too good to resist.)


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 5:17:44 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I converse with them like a human being that is interested in getting to know another human being.


THIS is why LaT rocks!!!

OP~ when you put it like this... "How some Doms test subs" it sounds like a game.


girly (off to play leap frog)

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 5:19:23 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Lady Pact,

Sure!  Clip can be the board.  You and I play.  Winner gets to decide who tops.  Serious answer.

Yours in Vegetarianism,

RedMagic1


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 5:35:40 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Dear Lady Pact,

Sure!  Clip can be the board.  You and I play.  Winner gets to decide who tops.  Serious answer.

Yours in Vegetarianism,

RedMagic1


You do know he'd love the hell out of that?  I'd probably get a pretty big kick out of it, Myself.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 7:52:55 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		All I can say is I usually flunk tests big time.   

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 8:54:19 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingFemDom

Responding to SteelofUtah here: 

I don't think that expecting an original answer to my three questions is the same thing as demanding immediate and complete control from Day 1. But yes, I am testing right from the first email and my process tells me plenty. It tells me if the sub is willing to play along with my rules or is he just a brat that just wants to be disciplined and not asked to think. It also tells me the sub is capable of following my directions and willing to do a (slight) amount of work and maybe learn something new. Also, is he willing to write an original email on a topic of my choice or is he sending me the same form letter that he has probably sent to a dozen other Doms. Honestly I got an email from a guy who addressed me by another Dom's handle because he couldn't be bothered to change his form letter. Who needs that? Not me, no way. 


Appreciated. However I am refering to your first post when you say and I quote:

quote:

1. I'm not going to devote my limited time on subs who refuse to do what I say from Day 1.  If a sub won't even answer a question, how can I have confidence he'll open up in other ways?


To me this is something that I don't understand. I find Obedience to be something that is based on Trust. Now for anyone who has followed my posts will know I have a strange philosophy when it comes to Trust. I believe it is Impossible to EARN and I also believe it is Impossible to Get Back Once Lost.

That being said I also do not believe that Trust can be given from day one. It has to be cultivated, it has to me nurtured and maintained. It has to be shown that with Obedience comes the reward of what one is obedient for. This could cause a SHITSTORM of people trying to Misinterperet what I just said so let me be more exact. A submissive or slave surrenders because in return they get Order, but not just any order, they get the type of order they no longer wish to maintain all on their own. The Surrender payoff can come in many forms but most often I find it comes in the form of relief and the desire to continue whatever action that gave them that release.

**Please note I am aware that not every submissive is the same and I will not begin to speak on what is and what isn't submissive I can only speak from my experience, if you can relate then you are the source I am most aware of, if you cannot relate then obviously you aren't**

Now when you take all this into account there comes this idea that I know what I want and it may not be what you want. I want to know what you want so that I can present an enviornment in which I can get what I want without you struggleing againt the bit. Now in the beginning all my wants might make someone knew to me anxious, perhaps even scared, and rightfully so. You see I want to HURT the person I am with, I want to do things to them sexually they may have NEVER done before, I want them to WANT to do these things for me and WANT more than anything for me to want to do it with and in many cases TO them.

If I bring this expectation from Day 1 I would expect to find myself alone a LOT. You see for as much as I am a nice sweet "Jovial" guy I am also a very demanding and hedonistic guy as well. Because of this I find that it is most important to show the person who will be my outlet to my own desires that I am someone who cares about their well being. It may take time before I bring out the heavy guns, before the darker of my sexual desires is released, and this is because I want them to have time to determine that they actually WANT to give me everything my heart desires.

LaughingFemDom, As a woman, not as a Dom, ask yourself this question. Day 1, would you be willing to let me tie you up blindfold you, drip hot wax on your nipples and then whip it off? Now even though we use these activities in the lifestyle you be surprised how offten those who we consider Vanilla express this as a Fantasy or even something they tried. All I want you to do is ask yourself if you would be willing to let me do this to you on Day 1?

For that matter knowing the kind of person I am from the above explanations I have given on Day 1 would you even be willing to come to my home?

I get the idea that you want them to give some sort of sign that they are dedicated to the IDEA of what you are looking for before wasting any of your Valuable time but I would believe more often than not you end up with people who are excited by the idea of mantal masturbation and ability to articulate a Fantasy rather than someone who is really instantly willing to bend to your will.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to LaughingFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/10/2009 9:33:01 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		lol

FR, after read thru

I have a test for anybody approaching me online: read thru my profile & journal entries. Still interested? Let's talk . ... . lol

Thins the crowd out nicely & saves everybody lots of time . ... .

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to LaughingFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/11/2009 3:11:49 AM   
KateyCaine


Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline 		He tests me every day - He tests my limits, how well i learn and remember protocols He has laid out for me, how much i have opened up and shown Him the true me, with every day....

k.


_____________________________

Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge)

i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me.

His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.

(in reply to LaughingFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/11/2009 3:50:46 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Nope, never. We just got to know each other and took it from there.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to LaughingFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/11/2009 6:53:41 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

It depends on what sort of test. Test as in demanding a picture where the person you are going to play with holds a note with your name on it to prove it is them in the picture fine. But just a bunch of questions in a third degree interrogation, that is annoying. I remember talking with a Dom and let on what my favorite TV series was and he started drilling me about the details of the series to see if I really had it as a favorite. Needless to say I did not talk much more with this gentleman after this. That someone demands some sort of proof that I am who I say I am, fine, but if I say my favorite TV show is Charmed they should be able to take that on face value. I mean come on, why would I lie about that?

I wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to LaughingFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 40
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