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RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/11/2009 12:09:20 PM

MMagic

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rayne221

stardancer, thank you and i know i really to a large degree did to Him precisely what He has turned around and done to me.
I did not see it as a test at the time for him. To me it was meant in the spirit of play and teasing. But.. as a stern Dominant and one who has not yet come to know me and my personality and sensibilities.. nor i His, he would not have necesssarily picked up on it and may well at worst felt i was being disrespectful.
I have always said ... my personality in this whole thing... tends to lend itself to 'pushing', and i need someone who, when i push will push back twice as hard. I really must be careful what i wish for LOL

I am tested frequently and I TEST Sir frequently because I'm getting to know him and him me. He's a little stern and I'm like you, so I understand your dynamic. I would say my Sir does try to take into account that I like to tease him and mouth off a bit so I do get warnings instead of immediate punishment and I'm always told that I'm getting off light but if I don't learn to stop when he says stop, I won't be able to sit for a week. But this wasn't IMMEDIATELY after we met. This was after we decided to be together. I think you're a better woman than I, because I'd most likely not be speaking to said Dom ever again-and this is because I'm relatively new and wouldn't, up until recently, have understood WHY he was doing that, just would have thought him mean. I understand NOW what he's doing though and applaud both of you, AND I can't wait to see how it turns out. Please do keep us updated. This looks like it's gonna be GOOOOOOd.

< Message edited by MMagic -- 7/11/2009 12:10:29 PM >

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RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/11/2009 12:16:55 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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No way would I agree to start obeying someone I had never met, never talked to, etc. In fact, someone doing that to me in the first email would be failing my test.

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Post #: 42

RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/11/2009 12:42:59 PM

whis31

Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2007
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My Master has tested my three times. The first time was to see if i was sub material, lol guess i passed that one! The second time was as we moves from a D/s relationship to a M/s relationship and yes they are different, and the last test was when we went TPE. Master would had rejected me if i had failed the first test, to have failed the other two would have ment i wasn't ready for the next level and things would not have changed.

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Post #: 43

RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/11/2009 12:47:47 PM

MstrPBK

Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
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The greatest test I give slaves is patience. IF the slave can not be patient with me then they ought not be a slave. It is one thing to ask questions of a Master' it is quite another to let the Master set the pace.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

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Post #: 44

RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/13/2009 2:12:38 AM

rayne221

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/27/2005
Status: offline

stardancer you had said you would find it interesting to find out and learn what the outcome was to the 'three day freeze'.
Well.. He never does cease to amaze me this guy.
On the third day...i wrote a very brief email to him. "It is the third day.... Again, I'm sorry Sir, it won't happen again. Look forward to chatting with you a bit later".
I received on response whatever until the following day... His reply was simply> I do not think this is going to go anywhere. Don't lose faith, I haven't, God Bless.

I really gave my head a shake....i sat back and said WTF????? Why not say that... three days ago? What was this 'three day freeze out ' to achieve? Damn...did i fail the 'test' by complying?

I am not a newbie... i did go against everything inside of me when he did put me on this three day freeze from him, without knowing one another well. But.. it was at a weak moment when, i liked him.. i wanted to get to know him more. and i fully believed..if i did not comply -- he would be gone believing i was a fake and wannabe. So.. i complied and he's gone anyway.

So...i have been left feeling.... well... like a first class ass.

live and learn.

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I submit, I really do... I just don't always obey.... is this going to be a problem? LOL

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Post #: 45

RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/13/2009 2:21:18 AM

rayne221

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/27/2005
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MMagic No hon..it's not good. It's never ever good to give your submission so freely, to One you do not know nor have met nor have verbally spoken to; to One who has not to even a small degree, earned your trust. To One who has not shown They are trustworthy.
I do hope that if any newbies to the lifestyle have read this story ... they have taken note.
I am not new ...i have 12 years experience. I knew in my gut this was wrong... but did it anyway. I felt i was in a corner. To not comply with his wishes... would have offended him further. To comply would be to sacrifice my own submission, to a Man i did not know nor trust. I went with the forner... and was burned. and i felt, personally humiliated. Naaa... i'm not to be applauded in the least MMagic hon but thanks for the thought .

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I submit, I really do... I just don't always obey.... is this going to be a problem? LOL

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Post #: 46

RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/13/2009 7:58:35 AM

maia09

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingFemDom

Have any of you submissives been tested before being allowed to begin training or serving a dom? If so, how?

I am a FemDom who asks the same 3 email questions to all my prospective submissives before I'll spend time chatting with them any further. I test subbies this way because:
1. I'm not going to devote my limited time on subs who refuse to do what I say from Day 1. If a sub won't even answer a question, how can I have confidence he'll open up in other ways?
2. Assuming the sub doesn't know the answer already, he'll have to research it. I figure that if a guy is not curious enough to learn something new, I'm not the right Dom for him anyway.

Thoughts?

Interesting. i don't experience deep submission with anyone unless i do. Sorry - as lame as that may sound, the fact is, submission isn't something i can manufacture if it isn't naturally there. i can be open, respectful, and expressive of a desire to please. i can accept tests and do my best to respond sincerely. But i don't think there are any guarantees or there's a format that will assure a Dominant that a particular sub is right for them. It's a process. Sometimes we find out quickly, sometimes it takes time to know if we're a match with another or not. For me, surrender goes beyond "normal" logic and reasoning. It's a soul thing, i don't control it anymore than i control my need for sleep, food etc. As a matter of fact, i've found that logic and reasoning actually interfere with deep surrender. But that's me. i'm not saying how it is for anyone else.

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"I will always be the virgin-prositute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman." - Anais Nin

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RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/13/2009 8:35:33 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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I am only available for cyber here...if the Dom does not have a test or task for me... well...twiddle twiddle what shall we do then?...

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RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/13/2009 2:46:38 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Master and i never tested each other. we talked and got to know each other. I always hated tests in college so i would hate the though of the man i wanted to submit to was giving me one. There was no need in our case we had both been around the block a few times and knew what we wanted from our relationship. So testing just woud not have worked. What we did worked for us over 3 years and going strong.

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 49

RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/14/2009 7:13:10 AM

pixidustpet

Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rayne221

stardancer you had said you would find it interesting to find out and learn what the outcome was to the 'three day freeze'.
Well.. He never does cease to amaze me this guy.
On the third day...i wrote a very brief email to him. "It is the third day.... Again, I'm sorry Sir, it won't happen again. Look forward to chatting with you a bit later".
I received on response whatever until the following day... His reply was simply> I do not think this is going to go anywhere. Don't lose faith, I haven't, God Bless.

I really gave my head a shake....i sat back and said WTF????? Why not say that... three days ago? What was this 'three day freeze out ' to achieve? Damn...did i fail the 'test' by complying?

I am not a newbie... i did go against everything inside of me when he did put me on this three day freeze from him, without knowing one another well. But.. it was at a weak moment when, i liked him.. i wanted to get to know him more. and i fully believed..if i did not comply -- he would be gone believing i was a fake and wannabe. So.. i complied and he's gone anyway.

So...i have been left feeling.... well... like a first class ass.

live and learn.

sugarpops, you are classifying the WRONG party as an ass. and that's not being nice to asses, who are very nice animals once you get to know them.

you were being yourself...a little bit silly and a little fiesty, and he got all butthurt because his idea of being a dominant is rigid and not allowable for the submissive to be playful. dear gods, i'd go insane....TheEngineer and i, the last thing before bed is me telling him a couple of really bad jokes. and he laughs every time.

you met a person who didnt mesh with who YOU are, is all. and both of you count in the relationship, even if its a deliberately unbalanced one as most BDSM relationships are.

kitten, still tickled because TheEngineer rode in like a white knight to rescue her from a situation yesterday.

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RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/14/2009 7:52:33 AM

curiousINct

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/18/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rayne221

So...i have been left feeling.... well... like a first class ass.

I'm sorry that you feel (felt? hopefully it's passed already) this way.

FWIW the comment you made that started this whole 3 day thing made me laugh out loud. I hope you find someone who appreciates your sense of humor.

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Post #: 51

RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/18/2009 4:08:37 AM

Mistressbinature

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingFemDom

Have any of you submissives been tested before being allowed to begin training or serving a dom? If so, how?

I am a FemDom who asks the same 3 email questions to all my prospective submissives before I'll spend time chatting with them any further. I test subbies this way because:
1. I'm not going to devote my limited time on subs who refuse to do what I say from Day 1. If a sub won't even answer a question, how can I have confidence he'll open up in other ways?
2. Assuming the sub doesn't know the answer already, he'll have to research it. I figure that if a guy is not curious enough to learn something new, I'm not the right Dom for him anyway.

Thoughts?

I will give the OP the benefit of the doubt that she merely mis-spoke and chose il-advised wording, I understand the OP's reasonable expectation that the potentential answers and even reseaches questions to a point. However, if. the OP did indeed believe the highted portion, I would conclude that the potentional did not gift the OP with his/her submission. Nor did the OP did accept said gift, therefore, she is expecting the potentional to submit to a non consentual act which appears to make the OP look pompus and displaying the atitudes of what is commonly, in the lifestyle as a" wantabee". In addition, the proper, respectful term for a submissive is submissive not subbie

Subbies by definition by the on-line version of the Urban dictionary is as follows

""Subbies" are thought to be a form of opiate derived from a painkiller called Subatex. As of October 2006, usage is not particularly widespread but is however becoming an increasing problem among youths in Britsh towns and cities. Subatex is manufactured in Hull, England by Recket Benckiser. "

If we, as the dominants expect the actions and behaviors of our submissives to be beyond reproach, we must hold ourselves just as accountable

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RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/19/2009 5:50:39 AM

peterjohns100

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/6/2008
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There are too many frauds on this site: girls who are really either fraudulently trying to cream money off gullible men (eg my sister is very ill, please send money so l can get someone to take care of her and come to you) or girls who are really just tarts looking to sell online or real time for money. One first test is to check them out and ask to see them immediately on webcam so that you can check they are who they say they are. From the frauds this normally scares them off straightaway. It does not cause slaves genuinely looking for a position since they accept they will need to be checked out before being relocated.

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RE: How Some Doms Test Subs - 7/19/2009 1:47:40 PM

Mistressbinature

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: peterjohns100

There are too many frauds on this site: girls who are really either fraudulently trying to cream money off gullible men (eg my sister is very ill, please send money so l can get someone to take care of her and come to you) or girls who are really just tarts looking to sell online or real time for money. One first test is to check them out and ask to see them immediately on webcam so that you can check they are who they say they are. From the frauds this normally scares them off straightaway. It does not cause slaves genuinely looking for a position since they accept they will need to be checked out before being relocated.

Attempting to get a submissive on a cam is not a viable solution as it ultimely proves nothing. very few subs allow cams right of the bat or even at all and that has nothing to do if they are genuine or not

< Message edited by Mistressbinature -- 7/19/2009 1:48:10 PM >

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