RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it?

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Leonidas -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 12:00:17 PM)
The way that I live isn't play. It's just how I live. I won't compromise how I live in any way that matters for anyone. I will make compromises, from time to time, out of respect for the sensitivities of my neighbors, regardless whether I think those sensitivities are backward, or not. I think that's called maturity. Partner on a Leash: In 20 years I don't think I've ever had a girl try to bolt on me in public, so they usually aren't necessary. It's one of those cases where me not putting a slave on one really doesn't impact how I live in any real way, but does respect the sensitivities of my neighbors. Playful but firm spanking: Can't think of an instance where a spanking later would be terribly less effective than a spanking now. I see nothing wrong with a playful swat on the ass in public in most cases. Gagged: If I can't shut the slut up without one, I'll leave her at home. Partner following behind in an obvious submissive posture: I require this all the time. Nobody notices or much gives a shit. The last two are kinda N/A for me. Some communities, I think, take a lot of pride (no pun intended) in being "in your face". I think it comes from an internal sense of inferiority, personally. I don't have a bone in my body that feels the need to prove myself to anyone. I do think that showing a little respect where there is no real cost to you is, again, just the mark of a mature adult.

DomImus -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 12:18:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah So Fuck Em, I could give a shit less if something I do Offends you and if I get arrested then so be it. But I'm tired of the idea that my rights to be who I am are somehow less important than anyone else's and that I am somehow supposed to be more responsible than them because of the nature of the lifestyle I engage in. Or the worst of all, that I am SUPPOSED to make sure everyone in the world who could ever possible be affected my by actions CONSENTS to me doing it Your rights do not exist in a vacuum. Yours is a very selfish attitude that I hope most folks who visit here do not share. As for the OP's question... some of us are obviously a bit more considerate than others.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 1:12:56 PM)
quote: My Point is to bring up the Hypocricy of the situation. If it is okay for a Baby to feed on her mothers Breasts why then should it be wrong for a Dom to have a Lactating slave put breast milk in his coffee? Is the same purpose not being met? Um... I don't think it's the same thing... not the same thing unless, by some freak of nature the Dom is an infant. Breasts are biologically for the feeding of infant offspring, and the process of public nursing is the -normal- use for mammary glands. Having fun with them is cool, but you can't exactly call it a biological necessity. Having Daddy Warbucks get a squirt in his coffee from his fancysub across the table at home -- now that's fun... but in a restaurant... see to me, that is just rude... Like pooping in the living-room. DC

Missokyst -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 1:35:52 PM)
[sm=applause.gif]

agirl -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 1:35:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leonidas The way that I live isn't play. It's just how I live. I won't compromise how I live in any way that matters for anyone. I will make compromises, from time to time, out of respect for the sensitivities of my neighbors, regardless whether I think those sensitivities are backward, or not. I think that's called maturity. Partner on a Leash: In 20 years I don't think I've ever had a girl try to bolt on me in public, so they usually aren't necessary. It's one of those cases where me not putting a slave on one really doesn't impact how I live in any real way, but does respect the sensitivities of my neighbors. Playful but firm spanking: Can't think of an instance where a spanking later would be terribly less effective than a spanking now. I see nothing wrong with a playful swat on the ass in public in most cases. Gagged: If I can't shut the slut up without one, I'll leave her at home. Partner following behind in an obvious submissive posture: I require this all the time. Nobody notices or much gives a shit. The last two are kinda N/A for me. Ditto.....from here. I live in a place where you'd have to go spectacularly out of your way tooffend. People smile with encouragement at breast-feeding mothers and aren't scared witless by the sight of a nipple or a suckling infant. (I must admit the whole idea of expressing milk before you go out in public was amusing) I have a fair amount of Steel's attitude, frankly. The thing that will raise eye-brows around here is violence or aggression. Unless you're an obnoxious, loud, rude, attention-seeking twat, you can pretty much live and be whatever way you want to in public. People just wander on by, otherwise. agirl

DemonKia -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 1:44:38 PM)
FR, after read thru & for me this discussion keeps circling around consent & being respectful, & what goals I have for the outcomes of my behaviors. I don't use the poor behavior of bigots to justify my behaving provocatively. For example, my grandmother is a huge racist, serious right-wing ideologue. I long ago decided it was a pointless waste of my time & energy to try to change her mind, & that provoking her bigotry, et alia, just brought me down to her level. So I don't bring brown-skinned paramours out to the farm & smooch them in front of her, cuz that's the kinda reactionary crap she adores. For her, that would all be ammo for her own cultural warfare & bigotry, she's a queen of spin & self-serving victimhood, & all that kinda nonsense. I mostly just keep all such stuff away from her, & consequently I keep most of myself away from her, cuz she disapproves of just about everything about me, if she knew. I choose to not give her the power to disapprove of me, it's really none of her business to do so. I'd rather, from a more pro-active perspective, seek out the company of those who can love & appreciate who & what I am. I'm a huge fan of productive, constructive rebellion that actually does move the culture forward, but not all revolution has that effect. In my opinion quite a bit of attempted insurrection is pointless posturing, or even counter-productive, creating a resistant reaction in the other . . . . . Ah. & an interesting side-note has come up. How do things change? How do ideas, morals, et alia change? Here's the unpleasant truth I determined for myself: some of it is people changing their minds over their lifespans, but I've come to think that's the lesser model. The preponderance is that the 'stupid old ideas' are clung to by minds that die, & the newer generations preferentially choose at higher rates the 'newer better idea's . . . . . Einstein's very radical ideas are a great example of this, for me. The 'old guard' of Euclidean physicists did not really change their resistance to this quantum stuff Einstein was proposing, it was the up-&-coming new, younger physicists who tested his ideas, that were persuaded that he had a better explanation than what had existed before. Eventually, all the old minds clinging to that purely Euclidean framework died, opening up the intellectual space to this new quantum augmentation to the Euclidean framework.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 1:55:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomImus quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah So Fuck Em, I could give a shit less if something I do Offends you and if I get arrested then so be it. But I'm tired of the idea that my rights to be who I am are somehow less important than anyone else's and that I am somehow supposed to be more responsible than them because of the nature of the lifestyle I engage in. Or the worst of all, that I am SUPPOSED to make sure everyone in the world who could ever possible be affected my by actions CONSENTS to me doing it Your rights do not exist in a vacuum. Yours is a very selfish attitude that I hope most folks who visit here do not share. As for the OP's question... some of us are obviously a bit more considerate than others. My Attitude is to be afforded the same rights that everyone else is afforded. If we will rally for Mothers to Breast Feed their Chidren why will we not rally for our own right to maintain our personal relationship ideals without fear. Take into account the Cultural Beliefs of Those from India. Arranged Marriages still exist and are STILL common place. My Brothers wife's brother was in an arranged marriage and it was arranged when he was 9 years old. It is seen in public and there are people who are seriously against it, does that mean we have the right to chastize it and suggest it not be done? I mean lets go back just 50 years and lets discuss all the other things that were considered WRONG to do in public. Black and White people together. Inter Racial Relationships of any kind for that matter. Homosexuality of any kind flaunted in public got people killed. Oddly enough just 70 years ago a Husband pulling his wife from a building and in public making it clear that she is in trouble was COMMON PLACE. and 100 years ago, at least in the west it was common to find whores in bars and it was well known what happened in them. So lets get something straight your Morality has nothing to do with my Selfishness. My Desire to Express myself and not be Repressed by your moral structure shows I am a FREE THINKER and not som mindless atomaton for the social idea of right. I Deside what is right for me, not you and not your values, I decide what I do. It is a shame that you would think that being an Individual is being selfish. And I feel worse about that than anything else that has been discussed on this thread so far. quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: My Point is to bring up the Hypocricy of the situation. If it is okay for a Baby to feed on her mothers Breasts why then should it be wrong for a Dom to have a Lactating slave put breast milk in his coffee? Is the same purpose not being met? Um... I don't think it's the same thing... not the same thing unless, by some freak of nature the Dom is an infant. Breasts are biologically for the feeding of infant offspring, and the process of public nursing is the -normal- use for mammary glands. Having fun with them is cool, but you can't exactly call it a biological necessity. Having Daddy Warbucks get a squirt in his coffee from his fancysub across the table at home -- now that's fun... but in a restaurant... see to me, that is just rude... Like pooping in the living-room. DC In this day and age Breast Milk is NOT a Necessity either in fact most formulas are able to get very close (Althought I agree nothing is BETTER than Breast milk) The Benificial effects of breast milk are the same in a 40 year old as they are in a 4 month old. There is no LOST Nutrient value from age to age. Sure some of the other aspects are lost as the older persons Immune System has already evolved but NUTRITIAN wise there is no difference it is JUST as nutritional for both parties. Where I can admit that seeing it in a restraunt would be quite the spectacle I don't think it is anymore wrong as I find a mother whipping out a tit and poppin it in a childs mouth as being right. In this day and age you have OPTIONS and a Mother who chooses not to express her milk made the choice to breastfeed . Just as I made a choice not to be in what society expects my relationship. If the christians can hold hands and the catholics can kiss and the mormons can prey at the table before every meal can you tell me why it would be wrong to have my wife kneel at my feet after a meal until I finish eating? (No I don't do this, in fact I don't really do anything in public that would make anyone bat an eyelash, I might spank my wife but it's a loving gesture and no different than anything else I see other young lovers do. I may not DO the overtly Kink Related things in public but I will DEFEND the right to do so with anyone as it is NO different than any other expression of self or individual right to expression) Steel

JonnieBoy -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 1:58:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemonKia Huh. This is as good a time as any to point out that there are two distinct definitions of 'public play'. One is exhibiting ones kink stuff in front of a non-consenting audience, & the other is restricting those displays to a consenting audience. All of your examples seem to fit into the non-consenting audience category, & I don't involve non-consenting entities in my kink. But I love a good play party & / or 'public' dungeon . . . . . . (Possibly more than two definitions of "public play") Non consenting audience ? (I'll use that phrase a good few times just for fun regardless if there's a "non consenting" audience or not, because it will make me smile to do so ... and I was taught by someone wise that smiling is good for you/one) Pirate

justme1980 -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:08:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leonidas The way that I live isn't play. It's just how I live. I won't compromise how I live in any way that matters for anyone. I will make compromises, from time to time, out of respect for the sensitivities of my neighbors, regardless whether I think those sensitivities are backward, or not. I think that's called maturity. Partner on a Leash: In 20 years I don't think I've ever had a girl try to bolt on me in public, so they usually aren't necessary. It's one of those cases where me not putting a slave on one really doesn't impact how I live in any real way, but does respect the sensitivities of my neighbors. Playful but firm spanking: Can't think of an instance where a spanking later would be terribly less effective than a spanking now. I see nothing wrong with a playful swat on the ass in public in most cases There may be legal ramifications if this were done in public. Gagged: If I can't shut the slut up without one, I'll leave her at home. Partner following behind in an obvious submissive posture: I require this all the time. Nobody notices or much gives a shit. The last two are kinda N/A for me. Some communities, I think, take a lot of pride (no pun intended) in being "in your face". I think it comes from an internal sense of inferiority, personally. I don't have a bone in my body that feels the need to prove myself to anyone. I do think that showing a little respect where there is no real cost to you is, again, just the mark of a mature adult.

justme1980 -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:15:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: My Point is to bring up the Hypocricy of the situation. If it is okay for a Baby to feed on her mothers Breasts why then should it be wrong for a Dom to have a Lactating slave put breast milk in his coffee? Is the same purpose not being met? Um... I don't think it's the same thing... not the same thing unless, by some freak of nature the Dom is an infant. Breasts are biologically for the feeding of infant offspring, and the process of public nursing is the -normal- use for mammary glands. Having fun with them is cool, but you can't exactly call it a biological necessity. Having Daddy Warbucks get a squirt in his coffee from his fancysub across the table at home -- now that's fun... but in a restaurant... see to me, that is just rude... Like pooping in the living-room. DC I might assume that exposing one's breast in public would bring a charge of indecent exposure

SteelofUtah -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:21:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justme1980 quote: ORIGINAL: Leonidas Playful but firm spanking: Can't think of an instance where a spanking later would be terribly less effective than a spanking now. I see nothing wrong with a playful swat on the ass in public in most cases There may be legal ramifications if this were done in public. Can you tell me how? We are refering to an Existing Relationship in which the Dynamic is in place. I Live in the Mormon Mecca and I swat andi's ass all the time.... AND YES I have even done so in front of Police, and at City Events like the 4th of July Park Extravaganza and other things. In Fact can you Site an ACTUAL ARREST, That led to Trial or Legal Interaction that cam from a Spank on the Ass. See this is the kinda thing that drive me nuts. The Fear Driven what we do is WRONG Mentality. Seriously GO TO PUBLIC RECORDS and look up BDSM in your area. See if you find more than 1 or 2 cases per year. IF THAT. Honestly what Law is being Broken? Battery and Assult require more than a swat on the ass. Are we talking about an Over The Knee Spanking with a Hair Brush?? Well that is a different story and even then it usually requires that the Victim press charges. If when being questioned in an arrest you admit that it is something the two of you engage of consentually you will find it hard to find a Judge that is willing to take it to Trial. Don't just take my word for it CALL an attorney. Call the DA, Go Online and ASK an Online Legal Advice Source. What you will find is that as it is possible for any act you do to be attempted to be procescuted by the state when it comes to the DA most consentual battery cases are left alone as it is too hard to prove any law has actually be broken because of the letter of the law. Seriously educate yourselves. Steel

susie -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:21:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justme1980 quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: My Point is to bring up the Hypocricy of the situation. If it is okay for a Baby to feed on her mothers Breasts why then should it be wrong for a Dom to have a Lactating slave put breast milk in his coffee? Is the same purpose not being met? Um... I don't think it's the same thing... not the same thing unless, by some freak of nature the Dom is an infant. Breasts are biologically for the feeding of infant offspring, and the process of public nursing is the -normal- use for mammary glands. Having fun with them is cool, but you can't exactly call it a biological necessity. Having Daddy Warbucks get a squirt in his coffee from his fancysub across the table at home -- now that's fun... but in a restaurant... see to me, that is just rude... Like pooping in the living-room. DC I might assume that exposing one's breast in public would bring a charge of indecent exposure Breastfeeding is not "exposing a breast". I don't know about anywhere else but in the UK breastfeeding would not be classed as indecent exposure nor should it ever be.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:23:15 PM)
Susie I agree, but then again I don't see the exposing of the breasts as Indecent Exposure Period. Steel

agirl -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:29:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justme1980 quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: My Point is to bring up the Hypocricy of the situation. If it is okay for a Baby to feed on her mothers Breasts why then should it be wrong for a Dom to have a Lactating slave put breast milk in his coffee? Is the same purpose not being met? Um... I don't think it's the same thing... not the same thing unless, by some freak of nature the Dom is an infant. Breasts are biologically for the feeding of infant offspring, and the process of public nursing is the -normal- use for mammary glands. Having fun with them is cool, but you can't exactly call it a biological necessity. Having Daddy Warbucks get a squirt in his coffee from his fancysub across the table at home -- now that's fun... but in a restaurant... see to me, that is just rude... Like pooping in the living-room. DC I might assume that exposing one's breast in public would bring a charge of indecent exposure Not if you live in Europe. agirl

BKSir -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:34:19 PM)
Tolerate? It does my heart good when I see a pet/sub being walked on a leash, with their head held high and proud to be there, wearing that collar. Spanking. More people need to do it. To their subs, to their kids, to the worthless parents who don't keep their unruly monsters in a muzzle. Gagged? Not sure about that, but, if they're comfortable with it, sure. See above comment on "muzzle". Following... Awesome. My pet isn't precisely "expected" to do it, but, it comes naturally to him, so, wonderful. Good boy. Fliers and business cards? Why not? If you're not interested, walk away. Just like I do when I see a flier for a concert I don't give a shit about. What I DO hate, is the damned tonsil licking that some people do. Now, if you're at a play party or something, where it's expected and/or is the norm, fine. Have fun. But, when I'm in a restaurant, putting a fork full of food into my mouth, I don't want to fucking see you (general 'you' by the way, not specific 'you' to anyone here) putting someone's tongue in yours! The only tongue I want to see in the store, is in the meat counter and comes from a beefcritter. It's called tact. You don't want to see me kissing my partner in public, what makes you think I want to see that shit from you? And that crap about "Oh, but we're a heterosexual couple, so it's okay.". NO! No it's not. I don't want to see a guy kissing a girl, I don't want to see two guys or two girls snogging in public, I don't want to see two friggin WATERMELONS kissing... well... okay, I might want to see that, just out of curiosity. But you get the idea. Now, light little kisses, pecks on the cheek, things like that, sure, fine, who cares. Again though, tact. There's a difference between a quick kiss and trying to taste someone else's esophagus.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:38:36 PM)
I do in public what is in keeping with My standards, I remove Myself from things that are not---I don't raise a hissy because what I do may offend someone else--like when I praise the moon, the Christians get into a holy tizzy.

Aswad -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:48:17 PM)
Public displays of human affection - should we tolerate it? Hell, yes. But only for people who search the archives. This thread has been reincarnated umpteen times. Health, al-Aswad.

agirl -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:57:45 PM)
If a guy spanked a girls arse in London, he'd probably get a standing ovation. agirl

SteelofUtah -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:59:18 PM)
Note to self: Look into moving to London Steel

LadyPact -> RE: Public BDSM - should we tolerate it? (7/12/2009 2:59:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: DomImus quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah So Fuck Em, I could give a shit less if something I do Offends you and if I get arrested then so be it. But I'm tired of the idea that my rights to be who I am are somehow less important than anyone else's and that I am somehow supposed to be more responsible than them because of the nature of the lifestyle I engage in. Or the worst of all, that I am SUPPOSED to make sure everyone in the world who could ever possible be affected my by actions CONSENTS to me doing it Your rights do not exist in a vacuum. Yours is a very selfish attitude that I hope most folks who visit here do not share. As for the OP's question... some of us are obviously a bit more considerate than others. My Attitude is to be afforded the same rights that everyone else is afforded. If we will rally for Mothers to Breast Feed their Chidren why will we not rally for our own right to maintain our personal relationship ideals without fear. Where I can admit that seeing it in a restraunt would be quite the spectacle I don't think it is anymore wrong as I find a mother whipping out a tit and poppin it in a childs mouth as being right. In this day and age you have OPTIONS and a Mother who chooses not to express her milk made the choice to breastfeed . Just as I made a choice not to be in what society expects my relationship. If the christians can hold hands and the catholics can kiss and the mormons can prey at the table before every meal can you tell me why it would be wrong to have my wife kneel at my feet after a meal until I finish eating? (No I don't do this, in fact I don't really do anything in public that would make anyone bat an eyelash, I might spank my wife but it's a loving gesture and no different than anything else I see other young lovers do. I may not DO the overtly Kink Related things in public but I will DEFEND the right to do so with anyone as it is NO different than any other expression of self or individual right to expression) Steel OK, Steel. So My expressions of the interactions of My dynamic should be just fine at a restaurant. By your line of thinking, since expressing breast milk should be a suitable sign of some part (you've yet to say what, other than nutritional value) of a BDSM dynamic, tell Me exactly where you draw the line? If a male Dom requires his lactating slave to pull her breast out to offer her milk for his coffee, tell Me what the difference is in that for one person's dynamic, and a different exchange in another. Say My boy and I enter the same restaurant. After dinner, I put his glass under My skirt, fill it with urine, put it in his hand, and give it to him to drink? Suppose this is our ritual and expression between us because he is to consume My fluid at every meal. I could do this with no public nudity in any fashion. It could be argued that certain nutrients also pass through urine, though not the same as those in breast milk. Do you suppose this should be ok as well? (Like you, no, I don't do this and/or if I did, the public would never know it.)

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