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Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 8:40:14 AM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

I really want ot understand the draw of Online training ?

I see so many , not all , are seeking before meeting they want to start online. Is this just a scam ? Do people really get to know someone that well online and really meet eventually? What is your reward for being involved in this without meeting the other person first? I would really liek to hear others feelings and experiences on this !!!

Post #: 1

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 9:21:48 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Well BDSM starts in the mind.

Control, domination and power exchange all are mental constructs.

So it does not take too much of a leap to see how on line could be powerful and transformative to a neophyte.

Dont forget when you play on line, you are not playing with a computer, but with a PERSON on the other end of the computer, the computer is just a tool like a flogger is a tool.

If the person is skilled, and invested and the the other person is also invested, one can have very intense interactions with all the levels of control that can be utilized.

Homework assignments
Tasks
Rituals
Tribute and devotions
Play
Orgasm control
Journaling

In many ways the flogger, needles and paddle part of my play is not as intense as the emotional investment, passionate authenticity, and transformational transperancy that I insist on in my play. Its the crawling into the head of my pet of having my head crawled into, that gets me off.

Does this answer your question?

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 2

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 9:24:17 AM

TurboJugend

Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

I really want ot understand the draw of Online training ?

I see so many , not all , are seeking before meeting they want to start online. Is this just a scam ? Do people really get to know someone that well online and really meet eventually? What is your reward for being involved in this without meeting the other person first? I would really liek to hear others feelings and experiences on this !!!

No...doesn't need to be a scam
You never know people 100% not even in real life...but online it is much harder I guess. I did meet people from Cm in reallife and they were very real. Training was online and reallife....but started online with some.
Ofcourse you should learn to know eachother first. You don't serve just anyone. Follow your feelings...but keep your head clear.
Your reward as sub..should be the pleasure you give your Dominant (or the other way around).

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 3

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 5:57:08 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave
What is your reward for being involved in this without meeting the other person first? I would really liek to hear others feelings and experiences on this !!

In your question you assume that they haven't "met" the person. But in your mind, "meeting" involves physically. When I interact with someone online, I DO consider it a meeting and I don't think of the person as a stranger. As crouchingtigress said, D/s at least is in the mind and such things carry quite well over long distance communication media. Obviously, they more physical sensations do not.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 4

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 6:28:30 PM

BalletBob

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Online, you get to know a person more, over time. You get to find out their likes and dislikes. I met MADAM online, and stiked up a pretty good friendship. We found out what each other liked, and she had me do things till we finally got to meet in person. Which was great, since I dressed like she had told me to do before hand, and pleased her even more.

And then like me, if there aren't many RT people around, you do what you can do, and get by.

Missing it, sub BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 5

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 6:40:35 PM

frazzle

Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

Conversation starts online, see if our interest match up. Move very quickly to phone, then meeting, to see if that spark is there.

Talking online doesnt have to mean cyber or training, its an avenue to see if compatibility is possible. If our likes and dislikes are at polar oposites, then we say goodbye and dont meet.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 6

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 6:48:47 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Online training

It's a crock. Usually employed by people who can't / don't want to meet IRL, often because they are in a relationship, are living a lie, using someone else's face, etc. Tell 'em you're happy with online training, but a cup of joe first, and 99.99999% will disappear. The remaining .00001% isn't worth the hassle.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 7

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 7:46:22 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Training & discipline requires enforcement... you do not have real control online. They aren’t locked in cage, chained to the wall or subject to anything more than mutual voluntary fantasy.

BDSM fantasies online… maybe. Training? I think not.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 8

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 8:25:13 PM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

Sir ResidentSadist, if i may humbly ask, what would you be training a person for by locking them in a cage or chaining them to a wall. i am not being a smart a** and no disrespect intended. it is an honest question.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 9

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/21/2009 8:58:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

We met online and stayed that way until we had a better sense of each other. Until we had talked about enough stuff and at sufficient length that I felt comfortable enough to meet him. Until we knew enough to establish a certain baseline of compatibility.

But as for training, he doesn't go into any formal training. As stuff came up that he didn't like, he would address it. A cottage garden as opposed to an espaliered fruit tree or a bonsai if you will.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 10

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/26/2009 8:51:59 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

There are a lot of things to learn in a cage. You will make self-discoveries from the emotional freedom of real imprisonment. Real imprisonments, whether caged or chained, are your proof of surrender and trust is created by having your very life become totally dependant on your partner. Here are some links with much more detail.
-=Caged Perspectives=-
-=She is caged, any questions?=-

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

Sir ResidentSadist, if i may humbly ask, what would you be training a person for by locking them in a cage or chaining them to a wall. i am not being a smart a** and no disrespect intended. it is an honest question.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 11

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/26/2009 9:30:44 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Reading and imagination go a long way.

The "Online Collar" is what I don't get.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 12

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/26/2009 9:42:57 PM

Apocalypso

Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline

It's not my thing and it sounds like it isn't yours. (Personally I see the net as a way of making initial contact before meeting in real life).

It makes some people happy, so fair enough.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 13

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 2:58:28 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

But Sir ResidentSadist the on-line master could surely suggest that his subject empties out a kitchen cupboard (dressed appropriately of course) and when said cupboard is empty and scrubbed clean she might fold herself inside it for a set period of time using an egg timer... would she not learn the same things as being locked in a cage by you? Would you still not have the power for having her do as you suggest/order... would you not be entertained by reading her detailed report after she completed her task?

Is the idea of submitting or Dominating not always only in the mind?

If you lock a real person in a real cage and she starts saying her 'safeword' would you not have to let her out? who is the boss then?

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 14

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 2:59:17 AM

baddman

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline

I know online can be very powerfull too. I have done both, online and realtime. Those who say online is just for players, do not have the imaginotion or power to own the other ones mind. Naturally online need intrest on both sides.

Training can be a hell of lot more than the touch of a whip...

(in reply to Apocalypso)

Post #: 15

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 4:13:27 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Online is to ME, nothing more than an interactive, D/s, fantasy, role playing game. Not my cuppa.

Whatever works for other people, just not something I have any interest in.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 16

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 4:44:14 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Well BDSM starts in the mind.

Control, domination and power exchange all are mental constructs.

So it does not take too much of a leap to see how on line could be powerful and transformative to a neophyte.

Dont forget when you play on line, you are not playing with a computer, but with a PERSON on the other end of the computer, the computer is just a tool like a flogger is a tool.

If the person is skilled, and invested and the the other person is also invested, one can have very intense interactions with all the levels of control that can be utilized.

Homework assignments
Tasks
Rituals
Tribute and devotions
Play
Orgasm control
Journaling

In many ways the flogger, needles and paddle part of my play is not as intense as the emotional investment, passionate authenticity, and transformational transperancy that I insist on in my play. Its the crawling into the head of my pet of having my head crawled into, that gets me off.

Does this answer your question?

That makes some sense to me, but until I meet someone and make a connection with them, I am not going to submit to them or form any kind of real relationship. At that point if they want to use the computer as a tool, I could see it. But to be totally online and never meet would not be enough for me.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 17

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 4:49:25 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

But Sir ResidentSadist the on-line master could surely suggest that his subject empties out a kitchen cupboard (dressed appropriately of course) and when said cupboard is empty and scrubbed clean she might fold herself inside it for a set period of time using an egg timer... would she not learn the same things as being locked in a cage by you?
If I had a sub, I would rather have my own kitchen cupboards cleaned out. She can clean her own kitchen on her off time.

Would you still not have the power for having her do as you suggest/order... would you not be entertained by reading her detailed report after she completed her task?
If I wanted to read reports, I would take up teaching. I want to see the look on her face when she crawls in there with no idea when I might let her back out.

Is the idea of submitting or Dominating not always only in the mind?
Not sure what the question is here.

If you lock a real person in a real cage and she starts saying her 'safeword' would you not have to let her out?
Of course I would and thankfully I would be there in the room with her, so I could hear that safeword and not sitting at my keyboard waiting for her to email her report back to me.

who is the boss then?
I am

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 18

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 4:57:18 AM

SirLost

Posts: 142
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline

Quoting myself from an e-mail I had sent;

I live in a distant country where I'm deprived of people those I can build a relationship like I want with. I don't deserve being labeled as a scammer or cheater just because I don't live in your country, I know I'm better than many people you can meet real time.

I think a good Dom must be able to control his sub with his mere words, without benefitting from the punishments based on physical interaction.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 19

RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 5:23:44 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Sir Lost, you're not looking close enough to the individuals around you. And it's on you for not looking for people nearest you physically. Not anyone else. "Good D-types" are able to control with their words, because the physical reactions of rejecting orders sucks. Outright punishment isn't what I'm talking about. In any relationship, when things aren't right between the people involved, closeness with a partner becomes limited. The same is true for power based relationships. And when you're used to actually feeling your head getting petted on or cuddling up with your partner and suddenly you can't because it's not emotionally comfortable to do so, you get your shit straight quick.

As for the OP, the online "relationship" is a scam. There's a reason that your body physically creates different chemicals when you physically interact with an individual as opposed to the lack of that chemical production when you're just typing away at a screen. And lets look at the stereotypes. "RT" relationships often end up with people living together or having some sort of no-n kink based intertwining. This cannot happen in "online only" relationships. Thus the actual repercussions of being an asshole aren't real. Turn off your computer and it's done. Period. Kick your partner out, crash their car, not buy groceries, end or damage the relationship in one way or another and shit happens.

The idea that some individuals have that "online" is somehow an acceptable comparison to a real relationship is incredibly unhealthy and a growing concern for the APA (American Psychology Association). The next generation of shrinks are already discussing how to aid clients with social dysfunction disorders in overcoming this misconception.

Here's some citations to help you out:

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6VDC-42DX1HP-3&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=3f96b779b4f998f588a6c046d691f952

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6VDC-4569XS7-2&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=b3d596d2ec55f4c45e71345199164a01

http://www.liebertonline.com/doi/abs/10.1089/cpb.1999.2.403

And these are the "light" reading versions. Feel free to use your local library's access with EBSCO Host to read the full studies and their findings.

As previously stated, "online relationships" are not only not real, they're unhealthy.

boi

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to SirLost)

Post #: 20

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