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Where are the masochistic men? - 7/22/2009 4:13:32 PM   
TNstepsout


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Ok I'm not crazy super sadistic, but I like to cane and spank and pinch and bite and you know- the usual *g* and I like a little yelping and yipping and jumping and squirming and such but.... I keep hearing from "sensual subs".  Some of them say they would endure it if it pleases me but that's just not as much fun.  Seems the guys are into a lot of other stuff but I'm not meeting that many who actually enjoy a good ole fashioned beating.  Is it a guy thing?
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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/22/2009 4:20:31 PM   
Politesub53


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No Ma`am its a location thing, trying to find someone local with the same wants and needs must be a nightmare unless you are in a big city. Oddly enough i find some types of pain, and I havent tried many, can indeed be sensual. I had someone use clothes pegs on my nipples, alternating with kisses, after a while i couldnt tell which was which.


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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/22/2009 6:57:21 PM   
GambitLeBeau


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I say take advantage of their dislike of pain- it means they actually after suffer for you. And it becomes an effective punishment, unlike with certain subs who can be bratty just to get a flogging or a spanking.


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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/22/2009 7:09:21 PM   
subspacious


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Just speaking from my point of view, it's better to start out tame and gradually push limits than advertise myself as a pain slut and wimp out when I can't handle what she wants to do.

I do like pain but I'm not really sure how my tolerance compares to other sub males. So, I've never really been sure whether to class myself as a masochist, as I don't want to misrepresent myself or disappoint.

What I do know: light pain can actually feel good... heavy pain does not, but can unleash some powerful and beautiful emotions... really heavy pain, I am just squirming for it to stop. But again, what's heavy to me, might be light to someone else (you say CBT and I think of clothespins and rope, not anvils and piano wire...).

Statistically I have no idea what the "typical" male sub is like. I think the only lesson here is to insist on open and honest communication, and don't give up searching for what you want.

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/22/2009 7:49:47 PM   
TNstepsout


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Well Ok I guess that makes sense.  It's just when you hear the girls talk they love being caned and flogged and paddled and the show off their bruises and marks and it's a real thing to take pain and enjoy it.  But with the guys it's not even discussed much. I guess I was just curious if anyone else had noticed- or maybe they are just more quiet about it when they do like pain? 

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/22/2009 8:31:07 PM   
subspacious


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Hm, I don't know -- I guess I am paying too much attention to the Dommes!

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/22/2009 8:34:17 PM   
LadyPact


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I'm sorry I can't help, TN.  If you'd have seen the males strutting their marks at Thunder, your thoughts on where they are might have changed.  

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/23/2009 8:25:16 AM   
XYisInferior


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Ok I'm not crazy super sadistic, but I like to cane and spank and pinch and bite and you know- the usual *g* and I like a little yelping and yipping and jumping and squirming and such but.... I keep hearing from "sensual subs".  Seems the guys are into a lot of other stuff but I'm not meeting that many who actually enjoy a good ole fashioned beating.  Is it a guy thing?


Obviously, not all submissive men are masochists, and so many masochists tend to be caught up more in their own thrill ride than actual submission. I suspect a rather large portion of self-labeled "submissive" men aren't looking for much more than soft psychodrama and kink, too, so it's really confusing to discern the gamut of ideal candidates for a dominant Female with sadistic leanings.

As an aside, I'd suspect causing pain to a submissive male that didn't like it too much might be devilishly entertaining to more than a few. One thing for sure is the "yelps" and "yips" will be pure and so much easier to draw out. Pure pain and the shivering fear of it is perhaps far more entertaining than watching the orgasmic gyrations guys who like pain a little too much. But perhaps that's more the realm of mental sadism.

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/23/2009 9:50:08 AM   
thetammyjo


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I agree the energy is much different between a submissive, a masochist and a slave for the sadist.

With subs I find it kind of annoying to do SM so I tend to be more artistic, combining pain and pleasure.

With a masochist I have to push myself and I get a workout that makes me feel great physically.

With a slave I don't have to push and I won't get as much a workout but psychologically the buzz is much greater for me.

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/23/2009 11:47:06 AM   
SweetSubBoy1985


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Im not really sure if I am a masochist or not, I am interested in corporal punishment and domestic discipline, and if that includes a cane, strap, paddle, flogger, etc I suppose it is about the level of pain. In my case thought the humiliation, and embarrassment, is as important as the actual pain.

Not sure if I answered anything...

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/23/2009 12:08:32 PM   
PrincessDonna


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It's making sure that each party contacting you understands what THEY are as there is such a huge difference between sub,  mas. total power exchange is the difference.,

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/23/2009 9:47:57 PM   
hardbodysub


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I think there are a lot of guys like me who don't like pain per se, but enjoy being used by a woman who enjoys giving pain. Their excitement comes from the domination, the feeling of being controlled, rather than the actual act or the pain itself. Actually, the fact that they DON'T like the pain is actually what makes it exciting to them.

Does it matter to you whether they like it because of the pain, or because of the control?

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/24/2009 7:17:51 AM   
subinchico


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You should be able to find some on this site.  Also craigs-list, fetlife, and www (type in masochistic men) in a search using google.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Ok I'm not crazy super sadistic, but I like to cane and spank and pinch and bite and you know- the usual *g* and I like a little yelping and yipping and jumping and squirming and such but.... I keep hearing from "sensual subs".  Some of them say they would endure it if it pleases me but that's just not as much fun.  Seems the guys are into a lot of other stuff but I'm not meeting that many who actually enjoy a good ole fashioned beating.  Is it a guy thing?


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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/24/2009 7:25:42 AM   
LadyEllen


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I know the whereabouts of one masochistic man - a real painslut who just cant get enough; its a challenge to make him want to stop and for me to stop when I think its enough, and for me to come up with new and inventive ways to make him gasp, dance and squeal (though there's rarely any of that latter).

Since this type seems to be in short supply however, I am not prepared to reveal his location, but he is a member here.

E

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/24/2009 7:47:55 AM   
OttersSwim


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So I am wondering if you are not dealing with relatively new people who frankly are not sure what they could take or how much they might enjoy it? 

I was that way when my Lady and I first started out.  I was willing to try things but was very leary of making any bold statements for fear of misrepresenting.  Thus far, there has been nothing that I have not enjoyed and my ability to take a beating is getting better...still not anywhere near a true maso, but I like what She does! 

Besides, those painsluts are a lot of work!  Trust me, I've seen those guys - work work work just to get any sort of mark or reaction, I mean, are you sure you want to have to work that hard?  You do a session, having to hit your hardest over and over, and pretty soon -you've- got repetitive motion disorders in your arms and shoulders and you are buying your chiropractor's new boat all by yourself!

Who's really the masochist?


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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/24/2009 7:49:36 AM   
vasha


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the marks i get are a badge of pride that i gladly willingly show off to anyone interested. is like a "i took this!" kinda thing. i just wish they lasted longer more of the time. heck, ild even show off the marks to vanillia's to watch em weird out.  can be fun. then again, i freely admit to being somewhat twisted

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/25/2009 6:53:52 PM   
monkeymeat


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This is kind of funny, because it reminds me of when male rubberists post in a familiar forum, wondering why their partners merely "put up"
with heavy rubber and do not necessarily feel drawn to it.

LOL, it's sort of ironic now that I think about it.
But pay no attention to me. 
I'm new here and have zero credential power.

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/25/2009 9:22:19 PM   
MsStarlett


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They are out there!  You just have to keep wading through the vanilla guys pretending to be subs so you'll 'force' them to have sex with you until they just can't stand it any more... and then you'll do it again.  *sigh*

I think I stumbled onto a new pain slut.  I'm testing him out tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.


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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/26/2009 7:39:40 PM   
TNstepsout


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Hey, it's tomorrow now!!!!

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RE: Where are the masochistic men? - 7/27/2009 4:12:21 AM   
MsStarlett


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LOL!  Yes, it's actually day after tomorrow now.

We had fun yesterday.  At least I had a ball.  It's been a while since I got to swing a flog.  It always does tend to leave me wanting more.  As mentioned by other posters, I'm not sure he's a pure masochist... but he does have good potential.  He did very well for a first session.  I was quite giggly and couldn't stop tapping my feet with pent up energy while I let him rest and cool off when I thought he had had enough.  (Yeah, I have a rather odd version of Domme space.)

For me, first sessions are always about feeling out what a new boy actually does enjoy and how far they can go.  Mind you, most of my experience has been essentially 'one night stands' at conventions, so I have a tenancy to push for as much as I can get.... Most of the time, I rarely get a boy past a good OTK with my hair brush, digging my nails into his back during otherwise vanilla sex or some light bondage with ass play.  It's always GREAT to find someone who will come to my dungeon and actually take a beating.  Ghod that was fun!

This one is way more vocal than my Westie was.  I like that.  Very satisfying.  Although I was a bit annoyed with myself because I misplaced my 'training collar', the choke chains that I had would not fit over his head and his hair was to short for me to get a good, firm hold.  It's difficult to control a new boy who moves around to much when there is no place to get a good grasp on the situation.  I'll just strap him down when he gets that new spanking bench made for me.  That will make life easier for both of us when I have better equipment more suited to his preferences.

My Westie prefered electrical, puppy and ass play, bondage and light CBT.  He was also very good at taking a beating in any possition.  Wall-e enjoys humiliation, watersports, heavy CBT and trampling with some seriouse foot/shoe fetishes.  He only takes a light beating because it makes me happy.  So those two never required any larger dungeon furniture.  Now that I have the space and someone willing to let me unleash my desires to flog until I'm out of breath... We need the bench to help support his larger frame.  He looks kind of silly kneeling on my fur covered fainting couch.  Besides. That's MY spot!

I must admit I was a touch disappointed that I didn't get to leave a few more marks on the new boy.  But he said he did keep a couple of small ones on his ass.  It tickled me how much he HATED my bundled canes, but those are the best at leaveing a little reminder.  And he did say that the prolonged flogging left his back and shoulders so sore he could bearly brush his hair this morning.  That's a good thing.

I can't wait to get him back up there.  I would go buy another training collar, but the big red one has been worn by all my favorites before they got their 'real' collars.  Even my vanilla husband has worn that one.  It's sort of traditional.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
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