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Additional Profile Criteria - 7/22/2009 8:58:24 PM

reify

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

I'm new to the forums, and I don't know where this thread really belongs. So, please bear with me.

I propose a profiling criteria that allows "professional" people to be listed separately from "lifestyle" people. It might simplifies things greatly for many people. For example, do a search for female dommes in New Jersey. You'll find a list of 17 proffessionals out of 20 listed on a page. I'm not quite sure how it might be in other areas, but many of these "professionals" seem like phonies trying to extort money. It'd be nice to not have to run into their profiles repeatedly. After looking through six pages, I'll find 10 lifestyle mistresses. If I'm lucky.

Additionally, it would be nice if I could search for sexuality based on a "checkmark" system. It's inefficient to have to sort through lesbian mistresses profiles manually. Indeed, many have to resort to spamming "NO MEN NO MEN NO MEN NO MEN NO MENNO MEN NO MEN!!!". So, I want to be able to search for straight or bisexual, non-professional mistresses.

Furthermore, it would allow proffesionals to provide listings to people who are willing to spend $500/ hr. It could only aid the efficiency of their business. No more "non-serious" people looking for the services of mistresses who "don't operate charities".

< Message edited by reify -- 7/22/2009 9:33:34 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/22/2009 9:30:12 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

Additionally, it would be nice if I could search for sexuality based on a "checkmark" system. It's inefficient to have to sort through lesbian mistresses profiles manually.

This already exists. There is a drop down box labelled "They are seeking" It is on the 3rd row of search criteria boxes, all the way over on the right next to the Photo only, Relocatable only and Videos only checkboxes.

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Post #: 2

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/22/2009 9:31:45 PM

NormalOutside

Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline

I agree with the OP's concerns. Most threads like this (started by me, or others) that I've seen tend to disappear. In the several years I've been using the site, almost no changes have been made.

Perhaps it's a case of "if it basically works, don't mess with it"?

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Post #: 3

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/22/2009 9:35:51 PM

reify

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

Thanks, Arpig, that one concern is addressed! I don't know how I managed to overlook that button hundreds of times...

But my concerns about professionals still exist...

(in reply to NormalOutside)

Post #: 4

RE: Additional Profile Criteria - 7/22/2009 9:50:43 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

It'd be nice to not have to run into their profiles repeatedly. After looking through six pages, I'll find 10 lifestyle mistresses.

This is what the block and hide buttons are for, isn't it? Use them, and you won't see the profile again.

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Post #: 5

RE: Additional Profile Criteria - 7/22/2009 10:15:21 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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Or try entering "lifestyle" in the text or City box.

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Post #: 6

RE: Additional Profile Criteria - 7/23/2009 1:35:41 AM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR, after read thru

This may come as a shock to you, OP, but lots of professional BDSM providers are also lifestyle participants as well . . .. . In my experience, many of those who have been pros in the past or currently are part of the skeleton of the out-&-organized kink 'community', teaching classes, running munches & both 'public' dungeons & private play parties . . . . .

As was said above, the issue your OP presents is what the hide button is for . . . . . . The tools are there for flexible use.

You also might note that there are plenty of 'purely lifestyle' kinksters who appreciate professionals, & view the overt or covert disrespect of professional BDSM providers with distaste . . . . . .

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Post #: 7

RE: Additional Profile Criteria - 7/23/2009 2:44:00 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

I'm with DemonKia on this one.

I've served in a lifestyle capacity a couple of Pro-Dommes and I have the utmost respect for the work they do and the crap they have to put up with. Furthermore I've witnessed the dedication and also considerable contributions they make to everyone in general at munches and lifestyle events, sometimes involving significant effort and costs on their part.

I also have nothing against 'tribute' dommes, and I'm fairly sure that some of these guys who are bitching about their presence would be tempted to take tributes themselves if ever there was a market of women prepared to pay male submissives for their services.

I just find it funny that there are those among us who are or would be excluded from mainstream society who are so quick and willing to exclude others from WIITWD basically because it doesn't suit them.

However experience has taught me that a 'live and let live' attitude is far more beneficial to the community as a whole than 'dog eat dog'.

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Post #: 8

RE: Additional Profile Criteria - 7/23/2009 3:30:16 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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I actually agree, IC has that system (pound signs for their professional profile and linked up to their non professional one) I can't imagine that it is a hard thing to set up.

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Post #: 9

RE: Additional Profile Criteria - 7/23/2009 6:03:42 AM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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I would suppose this is what sets CM apart from other BDSM networking sites. If all of them were opererated in the same manor, there would be folks complaining that all the sites are alike. Pick a site that works best for you, and leave it at that for the other sites.

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Post #: 10

RE: Additional Profile Criteria - 7/23/2009 10:59:36 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

Well I supposed it would help all those people who are unable to deal with anyone else until they've managed to stereotype and pigeonhole them and have everything arranged into neat little classifications and pigeonholes a bit like socks in a drawer.

But you know I'm a member of a playwrights' website which doesn't differentiate between professional and amateur, two acting websites neither of which make any sort of distinction, and now more recently a photographer's website - again no differentiation.

But then again playwrights, actors and photographers don't quite carry the same sort of social stigma or arouse prejudices from those who perceive Pro-Dommes to be making money from using their bodies and who are therefore not much different nor better than hookers and prostitutes.

I might have a different opinion here had there been threads citing rent boys providing professional services (including both domination and submission) to het, gay and bi men but no, as almost invariably it's the domme who is cited as the example.

Hence as my reasoning is simple deductive thinking this might explain why I hold the opinion above.

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Post #: 11

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/23/2009 11:34:59 AM

slaveboy291

Posts: 329
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

I agree with the OP's concerns. Most threads like this (started by me, or others) that I've seen tend to disappear. In the several years I've been using the site, almost no changes have been made.

Perhaps it's a case of "if it basically works, don't mess with it"?

The people who ran World Championship Wrestling had the same approach.

And now it's out of business, partially due to the "never change anything" attitude.

Ain't broke, don't fix it.

But sometimes it needs a little tweeking.

(in reply to NormalOutside)

Post #: 12

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/23/2009 11:58:35 AM

TurboJugend

Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

Ain't broke, don't fix it.

what isn't broken can't be fixed :P
but you can try to make it better

(in reply to slaveboy291)

Post #: 13

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/23/2009 5:30:43 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Paid sites get more updating because they have more money to pay the programmers. Free sites like this have much smaller budgets.

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Post #: 14

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/23/2009 7:35:36 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR, after read thru

Laziness. All these people not wanting to make use of the 'hide' feature strike me as lazy. They can't be bothered to do anymore work than they have to, & they're gonna whine to high-heaven & issue forth dire predictions about CM's imminent demise if what they think should be done isn't implemented, immediately . ... . .

(In very whiny tone of voice.) "CM, save me from having to look at the profiles of professional BDSM providers, I can't use the 'hide' button, it's too much to ask of me. CM, hear my supplication, I am psychic & I know this site is on the road to ruin if it doesn't do what I tell it needs doing. All these professional dominants are making the site unusable for me & my needs are preeminent over everyone else's. & I'm so smart about how a site should be run that I really oughta run my own site, but yet I'm not, I'm here whinging about how lazy I am . . . . "

What, did you think CM was gonna FedEx the BDSM soul-mate of your choice to your door, after you were done picking him or her out?

Also, I note that CollarChat (the site on which these complaints are being made about CollarMe, a different, related site) has a forum for professional BDSM services & wares to be advertised . . . . . . Hmmmmmmm . . . . .

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 15

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/24/2009 7:22:31 PM

reify

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

FR, after read thru

Laziness. All these people not wanting to make use of the 'hide' feature strike me as lazy. They can't be bothered to do anymore work than they have to, & they're gonna whine to high-heaven & issue forth dire predictions about CM's imminent demise if what they think should be done isn't implemented, immediately . ... . .

(In very whiny tone of voice.) "CM, save me from having to look at the profiles of professional BDSM providers, I can't use the 'hide' button, it's too much to ask of me. CM, hear my supplication, I am psychic & I know this site is on the road to ruin if it doesn't do what I tell it needs doing. All these professional dominants are making the site unusable for me & my needs are preeminent over everyone else's. & I'm so smart about how a site should be run that I really oughta run my own site, but yet I'm not, I'm here whinging about how lazy I am . . . . "

What, did you think CM was gonna FedEx the BDSM soul-mate of your choice to your door, after you were done picking him or her out?

Please don't be so judgemental. Or pissy. Or rude. But if you want to be negative, I guess I can't stop you.

I spend 2-3 hours every other day, reading and sifting through every profile in my area. I send measured and specific messages to every dom who seems interesting. I'd put in more time, but I don't have any more. I've been doing this for a year and a half now.

Additionally, a simple proposition and justification isn't the same thing as whining. I saw something resembling a problem presented a valid, applicable solution and followed it with a justification. You read and see what tone you want to see. That's fine.

Thank you arpig, for pointing out the "hide" function. I have managed to not see that and I'll begin using it!

(in reply to DemonKia)

Post #: 16

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/24/2009 7:31:05 PM

slaveboyforyou

Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

I spend 2-3 hours every other day, reading and sifting through every profile in my area. I send measured and specific messages to every dom who seems interesting. I'd put in more time, but I don't have any more. I've been doing this for a year and a half now.

Why don't you try using that 2-3 hours online to get out of the house and meet some folks? Women are out there my friend. Trust me, A LOT of them are curious about this sort of thing. Besides, dating is fun. Even if it is with someone completely vanilla. If you really want to meet only kinky people, try your local BDSM groups. I know y'all have them up there in New Jersey.

(in reply to reify)

Post #: 17

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/24/2009 7:55:13 PM

reify

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

quote:

I spend 2-3 hours every other day, reading and sifting through every profile in my area. I send measured and specific messages to every dom who seems interesting. I'd put in more time, but I don't have any more. I've been doing this for a year and a half now.

Why don't you try using that 2-3 hours online to get out of the house and meet some folks? Women are out there my friend. Trust me, A LOT of them are curious about this sort of thing. Besides, dating is fun. Even if it is with someone completely vanilla. If you really want to meet only kinky people, try your local BDSM groups. I know y'all have them up there in New Jersey.

Oh, I do! I work eight hours every day. I play tennis, study, and chill with friends. At the end of my day, late at night, like now, I put in the time sifting through profiles.

When I'm less busy in August, I'm going to take my free time to the city and hit up munches!

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)

Post #: 18

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/24/2009 7:59:03 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: reify

I spend 2-3 hours every other day, reading and sifting through every profile in my area. I send measured and specific messages to every dom who seems interesting. I'd put in more time, but I don't have any more. I've been doing this for a year and a half now.

Then why not just face facts? I mean, you could play bingo, bet on horse races, play a one armed bandit, or visit a casino just as much as you're trying to find that ideal relationship via a website on the Internet - it all amounts to the same thing - you're trying to hit the jackpot (i.e. find that ideal relationship) with the odds stacked against you.

You seem to think that if you put in a certain amount of effort then you're guaranteed some sort of return. This would apply of course if you're shopping for groceries online, but I don't think you've come here looking for potatoes. Trying to find and develop a relationship involves a lot of risk and a certain amount of luck. That's why you don't find insurance policies for long term relationships and marriages.

Slaveboy above hit the nail on the head. You need to get out more into the real world and start meeting people and you will probably get much further than sitting at home browsing profiles and writing cmails, and it'll probably be a lot more fun too.

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Post #: 19

RE: Additional Profile Criterea - 7/24/2009 8:25:53 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

The offense is as much in the taking as in the giving. & my offense was aimed at those who disdained the offered solution of using the oh-so-flexible 'hide' feature. If you choose to interpret my remarks as applying to you, that is your choice . ... . . (I've bolded & increased font size on the pertinent word that allows the reader to opt in, or not . . . . . )

Part of hanging out on any online fora is the regular opportunities to experience & / or participate in sarcasm & other scathing wit, both valid forms of expression. I thought I was being hysterically funny, actually, channeling my inner Python there . . . . . *shrugs & chuckles* . . . . Still think that was a pretty funny post . . . . .

Also, note that the conversations that emanate from an initial posting are not solely & exclusively focused on the OP, & many OPs concern matters much discussed here . . . . . Exposure to previous similar discussions might alert the canny user to potential flammage points prior to posting. I, personally, flame up in defense of professional sex services of all kinds, & around these parts that frequently takes the shape of verbal bitch-slaps at the dog-pile that regularly occurs on professional BDSM providers, without showing any understanding of how those persons engaging in that work fit into the overall out-&-organized kink 'community' . . . . .

& specifically, re-reading the thread between the OP & my bitchy (I prefer bitchy to pissy, cuz, well, I am a bitch & it would be so dishonest for me to pretend otherwise at this late juncture) posting, one might note that there were dire imprecations implied for the fate of CM if whatever wasn't done, other than the OP . . . .

& reify, if you'd like to engage in positive conversation, might I suggest you address your thoughts about my initial response to your OP . . . . . . . Or, alternately, if you are looking to only encourage viewpoints in agreement with your perspective, then I'd suggest you only engage in dialogue with those who agree with you & ignore the rest of us . . . . .

quote:

ORIGINAL: reify

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

FR, after read thru

Laziness. All these people not wanting to make use of the 'hide' feature strike me as lazy. They can't be bothered to do anymore work than they have to, & they're gonna whine to high-heaven & issue forth dire predictions about CM's imminent demise if what they think should be done isn't implemented, immediately . ... . .

(In very whiny tone of voice.) "CM, save me from having to look at the profiles of professional BDSM providers, I can't use the 'hide' button, it's too much to ask of me. CM, hear my supplication, I am psychic & I know this site is on the road to ruin if it doesn't do what I tell it needs doing. All these professional dominants are making the site unusable for me & my needs are preeminent over everyone else's. & I'm so smart about how a site should be run that I really oughta run my own site, but yet I'm not, I'm here whinging about how lazy I am . . . . "

What, did you think CM was gonna FedEx the BDSM soul-mate of your choice to your door, after you were done picking him or her out?

Please don't be so judgemental. Or pissy. Or rude. But if you want to be negative, I guess I can't stop you.

I spend 2-3 hours every other day, reading and sifting through every profile in my area. I send measured and specific messages to every dom who seems interesting. I'd put in more time, but I don't have any more. I've been doing this for a year and a half now.

Additionally, a simple proposition and justification isn't the same thing as whining. I saw something resembling a problem presented a valid, applicable solution and followed it with a justification. You read and see what tone you want to see. That's fine.

Thank you arpig, for pointing out the "hide" function. I have managed to not see that and I'll begin using it!

< Message edited by DemonKia -- 7/24/2009 8:29:04 PM >

(in reply to reify)

Post #: 20

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