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Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 5:36:18 AM

Dannigirl

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Joined: 1/17/2005
From: United Kindom
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I had been with Master for 8 months of total bliss, we were so well matched apart from our ages it was uncanny, we sat alike, layed on the bed alike and laughed at the same things, then he says we can no longer be together because he has to think of his future (He is younger) and I cant give him what he needs !!!. How the hell am i suposed to deal with that ?. I am so broken hearted, rejected and unhappy !!.

Post #: 1

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 5:56:11 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dannigirl

I had been with Master for 8 months of total bliss, we were so well matched apart from our ages it was uncanny, we sat alike, layed on the bed alike and laughed at the same things, then he says we can no longer be together because he has to think of his future (He is younger) and I cant give him what he needs !!!. How the hell am i suposed to deal with that ?. I am so broken hearted, rejected and unhappy !!.

*shrug*
sounds to me like he got what he wanted...a piece of ass.

You are 42 years old; it's not like you have not been around the block a few times. Stop bitching and just move on with your life.

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Post #: 2

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:03:42 AM

OttersSwim

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Joined: 9/1/2008
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I am sorry that you are in a rocky place right now. I am wondering how much younger than you he is, and if that should have been taken into account when you two got together. Someone in my life is dealing with a similar situation - last year, love of their life...this year, just "the girlfriend" as the person in question wants the white picket fence and 2.5 kids...

The point is, things change and so do people. Intense emotions like love can cause examination, internal dialog, and sudden bouts of everything from clarity to stupidity. Sometimes it is fear, sometimes it is understanding where you really want to be in your life.

What he said to you at the time, he likely meant every word. But things change, and so do people...and you have to take the time you need to grieve and to heal...and then move on with your life. *hugs*

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Post #: 3

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:05:26 AM

Dannigirl

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/17/2005
From: United Kindom
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thanks for that,Irishmist, i really needed someone to be bitchy !!!. I hope you never go through this and have some selfish person make you feel ten times worse. I have not been round the block, some of us have morals !!. Thanks again !!!

< Message edited by Dannigirl -- 7/24/2009 6:09:47 AM >

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 4

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:08:10 AM

Dannigirl

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/17/2005
From: United Kindom
Status: offline

thankyou Ottersswim, i did at first say no cos of age gap but he is very persuasive, and we did gel so well, just seems i start to get on with my life and am happy and someone yanks the rug from under my feet !.

(in reply to Dannigirl)

Post #: 5

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:15:01 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dannigirl

thanks for that,Irishmist, i really needed someone to be bitchy !!!. I hope you never go through this and have some selfish person make you feel ten times worse. I have not been round the block, some of us have morals !!. Thanks again !!!

That was bitchy?

Dayum

I must be slipping

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Post #: 6

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:25:13 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dannigirl

I had been with Master for 8 months of total bliss, we were so well matched apart from our ages it was uncanny, we sat alike, layed on the bed alike and laughed at the same things, then he says we can no longer be together because he has to think of his future (He is younger) and I cant give him what he needs !!!. How the hell am i suposed to deal with that ?. I am so broken hearted, rejected and unhappy !!.

quote:

I had been with Master for 8 months of total bliss, we were so well matched apart from our ages it was uncanny, we sat alike, layed on the bed alike and laughed at the same things, then he says we can no longer be together because he has to think of his future (He is younger) and I cant give him what he needs !!!. How the hell am i suposed to deal with that ?. I am so broken hearted, rejected and unhappy !!.

Danni,

There is always some lack of content in many posts that makes a valid apprasil difficult such as age difference and time lapse before you accepted a "slave" relationship. If you care to add those I would be pleased to comment on the situation. If not Good Fortune to you.

CP

(in reply to Dannigirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:30:34 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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Time, thats how you are meant to deal with it. If someone doesn't want you then they don't, for whatever reason. I have just come out of a relationship that lasted a similar length of time and had a sizable age difference and I couldn't give him what he wanted (though my guess is that in that respect we differ)

It sucks but never mind, I know that sounds blase but at the end of the day quicker its over quicker you can get on and find someone more suitable.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Dannigirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:32:44 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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Okay, Danni, please translate. Is "thinking of the future" a British euphemism for "get a wide and settle down and have some kids"? If not, I have no clue what he told you.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 9

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:39:52 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dannigirl

I had been with Master for 8 months of total bliss, we were so well matched apart from our ages it was uncanny, we sat alike, layed on the bed alike and laughed at the same things, then he says we can no longer be together because he has to think of his future (He is younger) and I cant give him what he needs !!!. How the hell am i suposed to deal with that ?. I am so broken hearted, rejected and unhappy !!.

Just accept his words and decision.
It's hard to deal, but it's just something you have to do. He decided you were not compatable and that's all there is to it. Allow yourself to grieve and feel all the emotions that come with it and then eventually, move forward. There will be someone else who you are compatable with, just give it time... just like you give this period time.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Dannigirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 6:43:54 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dannigirl

I had been with Master for 8 months of total bliss, we were so well matched apart from our ages it was uncanny, we sat alike, layed on the bed alike and laughed at the same things, then he says we can no longer be together because he has to think of his future (He is younger) and I cant give him what he needs !!!. How the hell am i suposed to deal with that ?. I am so broken hearted, rejected and unhappy !!.

On some level he was dishonest with you.
He did not tell you what it was he was looking for (or you did not hear him because you were in total bliss).

Time will repair and you will find someone you are more compatible with.

I am sorry you are going through this sadness.

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(in reply to Dannigirl)

Post #: 11

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:20:23 AM

Dannigirl

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/17/2005
From: United Kindom
Status: offline

it was four months before i accepted his or was offered his collar, and the age difference was 20 years, but i never act my age and he was very mature, we were just good together, and now this !!!, It just hurts so much !!

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 12

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:33:49 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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He's 22 years old for fuck's sake. 8 months is forever at that age. He's too young to feel comfortable telling his parents that his new gf is their age, bringing you home for Thanksgiving etc. He may well be thinking about having kids in a few years, and he can't do that with you.

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Post #: 13

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:34:09 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

On some level he was dishonest with you.
He did not tell you what it was he was looking for (or you did not hear him because you were in total bliss).

She's 42, he's 20 years younger at 22.

Did you know what you wanted for the rest of your life when you were 22? The majority of people did not. You're also assuming that he told her " You're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with".

I think it's more a case that she didn't ask and he didn't tell.

So, at 22 he probably knows that someday he wants to get married and have kids. At age 42, pregnancy would not be a walk in the park. But, if he's not ready to get married and have kids right now, let's say he waits 6 years....she's now 48.

To the OP, I sympathize with your pain. But, I will say after you've grieved, you should probably sit down and figure how you ended up here. You need to ask more questions about core values and life goals when you become seriously involved with someone.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/24/2009 7:52:30 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Post #: 14

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:42:38 AM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

WOAH, 42?

Woman, your an adult. Speaking as a 23 year old here, leave us kids alone. We DONT know exactly what we want at this age. I fucking promise you that. thankfully I'm smart enough to admit it. Get with someone who has lived life and knows what they want. He needs someone around his age who he can grow with...thats not you. You expect a college kid to know what the fuck is up with his life?

I dont know what the fuck is up with MY life.

I'm 23, I've learned..a good bit of stuff about this lifestyle, only because I had DAMN good teachers, and I'm annoyingly ambitious. But I damn well know, I compairatively dont know shit about life in general, compaired to someone your age.

Go play with the big boys darling....they are much more fun anyway.

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Post #: 15

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:45:55 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

She's 42, he's 20 years younger at 22.

Did you know what you wanted for the rest of your life when you were 22? The majority of people did not. You're also assuming that he told her " You're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with".

I think it's more a case that she didn't ask and he didn't tell.

So, at 22 he probably knows that someday he wants to get married and have kids. At age 42, pregnancy would not be a walk in the park. But, if he's not ready to get married and have kids right now, let's say he waits 8 years....she's now 48.

Of course not; however it was stated after I posted that there was a 20 yr age difference between them.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:47:21 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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There are reasons most May/December romances are old men and younger women. Physical abilities, mental and emotional maturity, societal pressures, just to name a few.

I am not saying it's fair or right. Just explaining what I've seen. A 22 yo woman is going to find it easier, not always a walk in the park, but easier to tell people she is dating a 42 yo than a 22 yo guy is going to, talking about his 42 yo girlfriend.

My 30 yo son is now living with a woman that is 38 or 39. They've been dating for around (not sure because he kept it on the low down and I don't snoop) two years. My daughter, his stepfather, and I, just met her about two months ago and we just met her 19 yo daughter last weekend. The other two girls that have been in his life, I met within a few months of the relationship beginning. They were both a year or two younger than he. While I think the woman he is seeing now is far better for him than the previous two, I don't know if the relationship will last due to the age issue.

It can be a tough one.

I just wanted to add.......I do tend to end up in relationships with s-types that are considerably younger. Both women in my life were my kids age or younger. And most I've gotten close to and considered having in my life have been younger. Not because that is ALL I will consider, just the way it's happened for whatever reason.

I never expect forever. I know better. If it happens, faaaaaaabulous, but I know the realities and do not expect it. That might be why I am able to stay friends, and occasional fuck buddies, with my one living ex.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/24/2009 7:51:44 AM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:51:34 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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Can I just say that SunnyFey does not speak for all younger people. I think age gap relationships can work, and I certainly don't think that they should never even be attempted it can be an experience if nothing else.

Also to be honest I know people in their 50's who don't know what they want to do with the rest of their lives, thats not always an age thing

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 18

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:58:36 AM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
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Fair enough Lilly, I agree with you on that.

I was most likely a little rash when I said all of us dont know what we want......lets go with at least 50% have no clue what we want.

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Post #: 19

RE: Does it get any easier ? - 7/24/2009 7:58:36 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

I think age gap relationships can work, and I certainly don't think that they should never even be attempted it can be an experience if nothing else.

Relationships with an age gap of more than 10 years fail at a higher rate than relationships that do not. So, yes they can work, but chances are that they won't. And it certainly won't if both parties don't ask the necessary questions.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 20

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