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RE: stay flexible - 7/30/2009 8:53:59 AM   
wineDineNtieMe


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/9/2009
Status: offline
I don't know what I would do in this situation. I can tolerate a lot, but I think my suspicious nature would take over in this scenario forcing me to believe there was a wife, girlfriend or another s-type in his life.

Also if I'm gonna drive 2+ hours one way, the last minute-ness might be a deal breaker even without the suspicion. I think I would want definitive advanced notice, but that's just me.


_____________________________

When everything feels like the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive.
-Goo Goo Dolls, Iris

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: stay flexible - 7/30/2009 9:07:55 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maia09

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

If its not what you want walk away seems to be the favored response around here. i dont want to walk away because things are not the way i want them. If that was the case i would change my profile to Dominant. i have talked with him and will continue to bring it up on occasion if he will allow it. Any suggestions on how to deal with it. Or may be why a Master would do that. Sometimes an understanding of why seems to help.


Greetings hallieB. i see you identify yourself as slave. i don't know what your perception of slave is or, more importantly, what your Master's perception is. For me, slavery is about surrender. That means i surrender my conditions, my need to be treated how i perceive is fair, considerate etc. It really doesn't matter what anyone here thinks. i recommend looking into your own heart.

Rather than ask your Master why He handles weekends the way He does, you may learn more by asking Him what His concept of slavery is. He is doing as He wishes to do. To me, that's what a Master does. As a slave who trusts my Master, i find much value in accepting how He does things and learning from it. i learn many things like humility, greater obedience and i learn mostly what is pleasing to Him, not if He's accommodating my wishes. But that is MY relationship and may not suit you. It took me a long time to stop questionning why He this and how come He that. Now all i need to know is it's what He wants.



This is along the lines of what I was thinking.

To me, a slave chooses the person they wishes to give themself to based upon compatibility and shared ideas of what that relationship will be. Then they submit. Period.

All too often the biggest problem, as I see it, is lack of communication prior to the choice. Lack, on BOTH parts, of exactly WHAT is expected. Too many assumptions are made.

Now, the OP has obviously chosen her master. She submitted to being his slave. Either there was not enough communication prior, or someone has drasically changed their expectations without communicating them.

If the OP values the relationship, more communication needs to happen. Expectations need to be clearly understood. If she cannot submit to his expectations of her, or he cannot own a slave with the expectations she has, then it's done. Cut the losses and move on.

As always, the key is communication.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to maia09)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: stay flexible - 7/30/2009 4:02:29 PM   
Falkenstein


Posts: 187
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
Dear Hallie,

You may be in your relationship a slave, submissive, pet or armchair, but before that, and more importantly, you are a lady. This cannot go away, the rest can.

The way he treats you is definitely not the way to treat a lady and it is inacceptable. Your master could playing some psycho-game with you to keep you unsure, vulnerable, week. Or he is just incapable of organizing his own life. In both cases this has to stop.

I would ask him for a firm schedule over the next month and nail each weekend. If you cannot get a firm schedule, look around you: you continent is full of guys who would believe their own luck if owning a gal like you.

HAND

Henry

_____________________________

Henry,

Part of that power which still
Produceth good, whilst ever scheming ill.

(in reply to hallieB)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: stay flexible - 7/30/2009 5:23:48 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

We are 150 miles apart so i only see him on the weekends, i am not allowed to assume i will see him every weekend, i have to ask permission. i am supposed to give him as much advance notice as possible if i cant make it due to family obligations, work or just plain natural circumstances. When i ask him if i may come see you this weekend i dont get a straight answer, he says we will see or i would like for you to stay flexible. Be ready incase i want you to come. Here it is after midnight friday and i dont know if i will be going tomorrow or not. i get so frustrated. Wouldnt you think by friday evening he would know if he wants me to come saturday. What are your thoughts on the matter?


My thoughts are, it doesn't really matter what anyone but you & your Master think.  But since you asked, if I had to ask permission each weekend to see Sir, I would certainly want to know by, say, Thursday if I was going to or not, esp. if I had to drive like two hours each way to manage it.  "We will see" or "I'd like for you to say flexible" would drive me nuts, if it meant not knowing until the last minute.  I'm the kind of person that likes to know a little ahead of time where I'm supposed to be, because not knowing ahead of time would stir up my anxiety disorder.  Sir & I know that we'll see each other every weekend, unless something really important comes up like work.  If I never knew until the last minute, I would feel like I was just a booty call & I can say that that would not last long.  As far as letting me know "who's boss" in the relationship, the simple action of my asking permission and Him either saying yes or no would be sufficient to let me know that.  You need to sit down with him and discuss how you feel about what he is doing and see if you can come to a mutually agreeable decision on how to handle the situation in the future.  If you can't, you need to decide whether you are truly compatible or not.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to hallieB)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: stay flexible - 7/30/2009 6:29:04 PM   
hallieB


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline
i want to thank everyone who took the time to read and respond to my post. Your words of wisdom and encouragement are very much appreciated.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 45
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