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sexual deprivation - 7/26/2009 10:02:36 PM   
rednicky


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Once I enter a relationship, I want to deprive a Dominant male of having sex with me, for this is my delight. Sexual deprivation gives me a sense of power, especially when depriving someone of something who feels he is entitled to it. And a loooot of Doms, once in a relationship, feel they are entitled to have sex with their subs whenever they want. And there is nothing wrong with that. IMO, that's how it should work. I mean they 'are' the Doms. But in the case I'm presenting to you, I am one who chooses to deny him this 'right', stripping him of his power.

But this does not mean I am a Domme. I don't want to take the power away from male sub because, by submitting to me, he's already agreed to give up his power unto me. That's no fun and that grants me absolutely no power. I want to take the power away from someone who feels he should be the one in control, and I want to leave him frustrated and confused. Frustrated enough to have my lack of interest in sex virtually ruin his whole day but not frustrated enough to end the relationship, which would otherwise be perfect were I willing to give up some sex.

I wouldn't just flat out tell my Dom "No sex for you". No man in his right mind would really enter a relationship knowing that there would be almost no intimacy. But I'd avoid sexual things that men usually use to initiate sexual moods. We wouldn't even so much as talk about sex. I'd be more interested in what his favorite foods were or if he likes this show. For example, when we'd go out we'd have a lot of fun, but I wouldn't flirt or give him sexy stairs. I wouldn't kiss him or hold his hand. I wouldn't go over to his place after a certain hour. A lot of sex happens at night. Especially first time sex between couples. So I'd make sure I'm home by 6:30. If he asked me about it, I'd shrug and simply say "I just like to take things slow". He'd understand that until I keep things 'slow' for about 3 months without so much as a long embrace. He can't really address it sense it might translate into him pressuring me. Especially if he had already asked me earlier in the relationship and I had already told him "I like to take things slow". So where does that leave him? And it's pretty hard to Dom when no sex or intimacy is involved.

Guys, I'm actually curious to know what you'd do if you did find someone who was great to be around but, without actually saying so, allowed no intimacy at all. We all know that you upstanding Doms would let the sub go at her own pace once a relationship is established so that she's comfortable and doesn't feel pressured. But what if this period lasted 4 months without even a single hint of desire for sexual activity on her end? What would you do? Better yet, is there a proper term for what I am describing (no, not cock tease)? Are there others out there who do this?

The very idea of all of this really gets me going and I want to get a Dom so frustrated and annoyed that he sort of 'snaps' forgets about initiation and just takes what he wants (almost like rape). I feel like that would be the best sex ever. Angry, unforgiving, "I gotta have it, you tease" sex. I just want to know if I'm alone in all of this. I've heard of Dominants depriving sex from submission and I've heard of mutual deprivation (sexless marriages?). But I want to ind out more about 'this'. At one time I was simply telling potential suitors that I wanted rough, monkey sex that resembled rape. But that wouldn't be genuine. It'd be a show. He'd know what I'd want and he'd give it to me. I'm looking for pure animalistic behavior that drives men to such a thing as rape, but within a budding relationship. I want him to really not be able to help it. Not to simply want to fulfill my fantasy. I wanna see what tips a guy over the edge the causes his desires take control, whether his partner likes it or not.

I didn't mean to write a Novella on this but I am quite curious and wanted to be as clear as possible. maybe I might find others like me.

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/26/2009 10:06:08 PM   
DavanKael


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If you're calling the shots, the Dominant male is not the Dominant, unless he's agreed to you topping for a set period of time which is not what you appear to be discussing. 
  Davan

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/26/2009 10:09:03 PM   
smilinguy


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Were I a dominant in that situation, I'd get my needs met elsewhere possibly by collaring another slave, but definitely by finding a partner willing to share intimacy. I'd probably renegotiate the relationship too, and make it clear that I'd get my needs met elsewhere. Likely at that point the collared slave would be in a service relationship only. I'd be fine with that so long as the slave remained obedient and I remained willing to be responsible for the slave. If that slave decided to try something else besides witholding sex or someother service, then It would be time to uncollar that slave.

< Message edited by smilinguy -- 7/26/2009 10:22:22 PM >

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/26/2009 10:21:09 PM   
rednicky


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Well davan, we wouldn't 'know' that I'm calling the shots and that I'm actually depriving him. He'd just think I'd want to take the relationship slowly until I'm ready to take that step to intimacy.

and smile is one vote for breaking up with a woman who moves slowly.

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/26/2009 10:26:01 PM   
lusciouslips19


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Hmmmm? I d say get rid of the manipulative bitch!

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/26/2009 10:27:09 PM   
smilinguy


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Actually I'm one vote for breaking up with a woman who isn't obedient. The slave's job is just to obey. The Master/Mistress' job is to be responsible for that slave mind body and soul. If the slave feels it necessary to try and control the Master/Mistress then they aren't willing to be obedient. Sooner or later the Master/Mistress will know something is up. Time to end the relationship.

< Message edited by smilinguy -- 7/26/2009 10:28:08 PM >

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/26/2009 11:08:53 PM   
antipode


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quote:

we wouldn't 'know' that I'm calling the shots and that I'm actually depriving him


So - manipulative, for which you'd need a fairly thick guy. Why you would want someone who isn't the brightest.. I have a tendency to boot folks that behave strangely and won't communicate about their behaviour - permanently. If I wanted games I'd have stayed in New York, and stayed married.

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 3:28:12 AM   
ranja


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I think the word indeed is cock-tease and manipulative bitch... even though you think you go about this ever so innocently...

So you get off on having a man desire you and you want to make that last as long as possible... building his desire until he spoils it by either leaving you for someone who will give him what he needs or by taking what he wants from you which will quite likely make you scream rape, because it is imo very unlikely that you will actually appreciate that outcome.

It seems you do not care about sex, you do not trust any man to be able to give you a good time, so you tease them until they prove you right... what a pity and what a waste.
I would advise you to be more truthful for a more honest and fulfilling relationship.

I think you are playing dangerous and stupid games that are frustrating for both you and your victim it shows a grand lack of respect for your partner and yourself.

i wish you all the best... you need it

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 3:33:07 AM   
littlewonder


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Why again do you consider yourself a sub/slave?

All I can say is good luck to you! You'll need a lot of it!

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 3:45:40 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


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OP:
it sounds lke you  are fascinated with the process that occurs in a man's brain around desire..want..and sexual urge and need..
It is a facinating thing yes..and  this "game": goes on a  lot..and has for centuries..
since the club and cave days saw their end

It may be a kink trip for you and something you want to carry out..in order to push
a man to a "real" scenerio rather than a negotiated rough one..and I understand your reasoning actually...

It is a fine line there between rape and close to rape and I urge you to be careful in your planning...
and WHO you engage with and HOW and WHO may get hurt..


GQ


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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 3:50:46 AM   
WyldHrt


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Another vote for "manipulative". You aren't waiting until you feel comfortable, you are taking advantage of the fact that many male Ds want their subs to be comfortable. Using that to your advantage, you make them jump through hoops while you get off on the fact that you are apparently controlling someone who self identifies as a Dominant, all the while pretending that you are submissive.

And the rest of us wonder where the "On your knees, bitch" emails come from...


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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 4:01:47 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

we wouldn't 'know' that I'm calling the shots and that I'm actually depriving him. He'd just think I'd want to take the relationship slowly until I'm ready to take that step to intimacy.
it is never a good idea to assume your partner is an idiot that believes your bullshit.

< Message edited by sirsholly -- 7/27/2009 4:02:03 AM >


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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 4:03:36 AM   
LaTigresse


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Were I the guy, you wouldn't be MY sub or slave. Unless of course you were either very good company, good at cooking, cleaning and other things I needed from a s-type. I can always get sex, even kinky sex from another.

So yeah, no big deal. I would just ignore your cock tease attempts, leave you to clean house while I went out and banged another.  I might even come back and tell you about it, in detail.

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 4:09:42 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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Abusive Behavior to Provoke Abusive Behavior.

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 4:12:47 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Abusive Behavior to Provoke Abusive Behavior.
Does that really work? Hmmmmmm....so if i stick my foot out and trip Hubby as he walks in the door......

HollyDePainSlut


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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 4:15:49 AM   
Whenready


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Quotes: Guys, I'm actually curious to know what you'd do if you did find someone who was great to be around but, without actually saying so, allowed no intimacy at all.

I call them "friends". But that's not the whole picture here, is it?

We all know that you upstanding Doms would let the sub go at her own pace once a relationship is established so that she's comfortable and doesn't feel pressured.

No, we go at My pace..... I don't have a problem with a sub being comfortable, but...My pace not hers.

But what if this period lasted 4 months without even a single hint of desire for sexual activity on her end? What would you do?

Better yet, is there a proper term for what I am describing (no, not cock tease)? Are there others out there who do this?


Cock tease...manipulative...dishonest....bratty...but not submissive. This would fairly shortly be followed by "Goodbye". (you DID ask...)

A forceplay scenario is one thing - but this isn't it. I can see....the Dom holding Himself back until..."OK I have to have her.... " but thats not what you are talking about. I fail to see how you call yourself submissive. Good luck - I ratehr suspect you might need it.

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 4:18:21 AM   
thishereboi


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If I were the prospective master, I would demote your ass to barn slave and you could keep the chickens company at night while I found a more mature woman to keep me warm at night.

But you are honest about your wants and hopefully any one looking for a possible relationship with you will see this thread first. It could save them a lot of time. Maybe you should post a copy of the op in your journal?

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 4:41:01 AM   
seekerof


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Not trying to hijack the thread- but  …. Where did you get the “Sexy Stairs” ?!? That is just what I need in my remodel!


BTW- you are an idiot.

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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 4:45:18 AM   
barelynangel


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Sounds to me like the op is a very bitter, angry woman who needs to get some help for she to me is one of those game players and manipulators who will use the pretense of the dynamic to achieve a type of "payback" agenda against Men who are the leaders of the supposed dynamic.

To me, if you have to play games and lie, and be dishonest of your intentions in a relationship, you shouldn't be in a relationship because people who are trying to go honestly into the relationship don't need your games and crap.

Lying and false understanding is not the way to achieve a desire or maintain a relationship.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 7/27/2009 4:47:20 AM >


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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 5:02:11 AM   
Lashra


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Personally, I do not like playing games such as this because they usually end up being a train wreck. My sub has sex with me but if he did not, he would be a service sub and would understand when I brought in a sex slave to fill that role he left vacant. With me a service sub is just that, someone who performs service and I do not even look at them in a sexual way.

It sounds to me as if you really want to push someone into taking what he wants. Now this may sound like a hot fantasy to you, but rape is not about sex, it is about control and violence is used to gain that control. If that is your gig then more power to you. But just be careful what you wish for, you may just get it. Many rape victims do not live to tell their tale.

~Lashra


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