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abuddingdom -> RE: Views on the "Age Question" (8/8/2009 11:41:44 PM)
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Ahh, the age old age question again.....
I said most of this in another thread sometime back but here I am perusing the boards in the wee hours & might as well do it again so, here goes again : I'll be 58 in a little over a month&have run the gamut of age difference with the opposite sex. Afew weeks before my 18th birthday I began an almost 3 year relationship with a woman who was 34. We popped each others BDSM cherry & were very much D/s, though we didnt know the acronyms(which I dont think had even been thought up by anyone yet) or terms. Other than a vague awareness that there were swingers groups around there was no community of kinksters, literature was around but not readily available, & there sure was no internet world to sign on to&seek guidance. We made everything we were doing up as we went along. Most of my relationships after that had kink in them, some more than others, & until my late 20's most of them were with women anywhere from one or two up to several years older than me. The pendulum swung rather suddenly & when I was 28 I for several months had an 18 year old girlfriend. That I was emotionally much closer to 18 than 28 likely helped. They were all younger after that, including my ex-wife who was 12 years younger. That 12 year age difference was virtually no factor in the failure of our marriage as far as I could tell, though my pretty one has recently made some observations&valid suggestions(she does that sometimes) which is making me rethink things. So, moving along , after that imploded about 5 years ago(after almost 20 years of wild ups&downs)I took some healing time then got back in the game. Life is short, people......I was with afew women, all afew yeras younger but nothing remarkable age difference wise, then I fell in with a 25 year old(I was 55 - get out the calculator&do the math). NOone was as suprised as me at that turn of events. I was also suprised that majority of people that I knew didnt have any issues with it- most said if we enjoy each other then go for it. We hung out off&on for better part of 2 years& were compatible sexually&intellectually - a lot of common interests. But, importantly&likely relevently, we both agreed that we were flinging&had no longterm aspirations. Then I got together with my pretty one, who is 15 years younger(& not only smarter&wiser but more experienced than me in this world), about a year&a half ago& am living the lifestyle&will never leave this path.
Whats it all mean? Hell if I know, other than age can be just a number. I'm not saying it is just a number, but that it can be.....If seeking I wouldnt actively seek anyone much younger than me but I wouldnt dismiss the idea though before I for the most part was pretty dismissive of the idea. I highly highly doubt that I'd be compatible with the vast majority of women 30 years younger than me but you never know what life is going to throw at you. I do know, though, that though my body ages I'm still youthful & I still want to&can&do things that a lot of guys my age&younger cant&dont.
I've had this discussion many times&what I've found, informally&for what its worth,is that despite the stereotype of cougars prowling the planet(& I'm not suggesting that women with younger guys are cougars or anything else with negative connotations, hence the word sterotype) most women I know say that other than perhaps a brief fling they wouldnt want to be with younger guys - they dont feel as if there would be anything - other than you know what -with which to relate. Most guys I know would love to be with younger women&dont care whether they'd relate but most know its only a fantasy.
Finally, I really like what pleasuredancer says about "seasons". This is getting way off the topic, but.....I lived my life with similair feelings about my headspaces&life experiences then I seriously lost myself in that afore mentioned marriage. I dont want to digress but I was blinded to how unhealthy we were for each other & only started to see it once we got apart&only started to know it once I started getting myself back. Heh! That could be one of the many definitions of co-dependence. It'll never never ever happen again, but enough digressing&back to the "seasons" thing. In the literal sense I live in & have spent most of my life in an area which has 4 distinct seasons. I had been becoming less tolerant of Winter as each Winter came&went but the last few years have come to peace with the old man. But in pleasuredancer's philosophy, yes , some seasons are past, & wont be back. I'll never care about sports&teams&statistics&the like as I once did, & I'll never stick my thumb out & hitchhike around& across my country again. I hope to yet do some serious traveling but my season of needing to run, to run fast&hard simultaneously toward&from something undefined & not even being conciously aware of it is past. My seasons of pushing that chemical envelope as far as I can, of putting notches on my belt, of keeping my ears perked for the lastest who did what to who , of being unwilling to be alone are all long past. I'll never again have a season of co-dependence. I fairly recently used the "seasons" metaphor in an important&vital way in my life.When my pretty one moved into my house last year we'd known each other for 2 seasons, literally- the previous Spring&that Summer. We decided to do it while instant messaging several hundred miles apart during a brief seperation. We were both wary but due to many circumstances, not the least being our affection for each other, we both knew it was a good idea for both of us to try this. Anyway, it was almost Labor Day weekend & I said lets try it for a season. Summers about to turn into Fall(which is my favorite season)&we'll see where we're at when Fall starts turning into Winter. Dont gag on that readers, unless you want to, lolol!! Afew seasons down the road we're still moving, still growing, still doing it.We even dare to make plans. Life's short, & there's only so many seasons. I've lived 57 Falls, & though I plan on living a long long time how many Falls, or Winters Springs or Summers will I see? A lot less than 57......
If you've read this far, thank you&good night...........
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