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Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 9:21:31 PM

spokanesub85

Posts: 46
Joined: 7/27/2009
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Strap-on play is one of the only things I won't do. Its not due to some insecurity about my sexuality, or because of the pain (in fact, I'm quite a masochist). Its because I am a medical professional, and I believe it is not healthy. I a just wondering if this is a problem for a majority of Dommes. I have been turned away before because of this.

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RE: Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 9:23:15 PM

NormalOutside

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Are you asking for a vote?

I would say it's a matter of preference, just like any other sexual activity. Some are into it, and some aren't. Put it on your profile as a hard limit and carry on.

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RE: Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 9:26:29 PM

spokanesub85

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I have it as a hard limit on my profile, I'm just trying to get a general consensus to see if it makes me less desirable as a sub.

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RE: Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 9:34:52 PM

DePubed

Posts: 71
Joined: 6/23/2009
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Can you help explain why being penetrated by a strap-on is not healthy from a medical perspective? I dont see why a strap-on would be any different from anyone using a buttplug or a dildo or, for that matter, getting it up the ass from a real cock. Why would a strap-on be un-healthy medically.

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Post #: 4

RE: Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 9:43:24 PM

spokanesub85

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Joined: 7/27/2009
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Maybe I should have been less specific and said I think anything being forced into the anus is unhealthy. I guess if it wasn't going to deep it wouldn't lead to any permanent damage, but if it was going to deep I believe it could do damage to the bowels.

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Post #: 5

RE: Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 9:57:25 PM

manxcat

Posts: 673
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An awful lot of people would be very damaged if that were the case. There would have been many, many, many articles and warnings to gay men especially, and the populace in general if this were the case. Do you really think some homophobic doctor would not have given real evidence if this were the case.
Then again there are high colonics, which go much deeper than any strap-on could. and is a semi-medical procedure.
Face it, it is your own feelings about it, not medical concerns. So like NO said, as a preference, put it as a hard limit and carry on.
Whether it makes you less desirable, possibly, but for the right mistress, it will not be a problem.
Good Luck in your search.

manxy

(in reply to spokanesub85)

Post #: 6

RE: Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 10:05:18 PM

DavanKael

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You're a medical professional and you won't do strap-on sex because you believe it's detrimental but you're a masochist/into pain (Which usually is inflicted via some level of damage). Do you notice how those assertions rather contradct one another?
I've had a few penises in said orifice and the largest one I can think of found its way there most often. Occasional bleeding during and briefly after, nothing substantial. Musculature, slightly altered but not in a negative way, just different: all of my orifices are nice and snug. I've done a couple of guys with strap-ons ranging from average in size to about 9 or 10" and at least 6 to 7 inches around and I don't believe there was ever any bleeding (If so, very minimal), though if you use some of the harder silicone toys, it can increase the internal sensation of bruising for a day or so afterward (Similar to what one may sometimes feel from anal with a real penis).
Your argument, imo, holds no water and I have a pretty strong medical background and had over a decade of interest in strap-on play before I actually got to do it, so I've done demented amounts of research.
As with putting a penis in an anus: finesse, skill. Very important.
And, check out www.puckerup.com, Tristan Taormino is a fabulous educator regarding anal.
Best wishes and let us know what your real reason for not wanting it is,
Davan

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(in reply to spokanesub85)

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RE: Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 10:15:20 PM

spokanesub85

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Joined: 7/27/2009
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As far as pain causing damage, lots of things are painful but not really long-term harmful. I suppose if being fucked with a strap-on was a turn-on for me, I would overlook the potentially damaging effects and do it anyway. Other pain-causing events are enough of a thrill for me that I suppose I overlook the damage. Its a risk/reward thing. As far as lots of people being damaged by anal play, yeah, I've thought of that, I never meant to assert that it is obvious, severe damage, but subtle damage caused by repeated episodes over a long period. I've also never had anal sex with a woman for that reason.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 8

RE: Strap-on play - 7/28/2009 11:45:40 PM

DavanKael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spokanesub85

As far as pain causing damage, lots of things are painful but not really long-term harmful. I suppose if being fucked with a strap-on was a turn-on for me, I would overlook the potentially damaging effects and do it anyway. Other pain-causing events are enough of a thrill for me that I suppose I overlook the damage. Its a risk/reward thing. As far as lots of people being damaged by anal play, yeah, I've thought of that, I never meant to assert that it is obvious, severe damage, but subtle damage caused by repeated episodes over a long period. I've also never had anal sex with a woman for that reason.

What you're saying doesn't make sense, though. People have been placing penises into anuses and pseudo-phalluses into anuses for thousands of years rarely is any substantive damage caused.
If you're concerned about a little bit of bleeding, well, then never have vaginal sex with a woman again 'cause she can get torn up. You see what I'm saying: you're being reactionary.
I already gave dimensions but I'll go a bit futher into the realm of TMI for the sake of debunking this falacy that you hold. I am a petite female 5'. As I noted, I keep my pieces parts in good, snug order. Okay, so at 5', the largest penis I've had anal sex with (In my body, I mean, not using a strap on on someone else) was about 8 inches and quite thick. So, about 7 1/2 of those penises would comprise my entire height. Pretty big dick compared to my stature.
I was with that guy about a year and a half. We had anal sex, I'd imagine, at least 100 times. The first time, I thought, "I can't imagine this orifice is ever going to work for its other purpose again." But things were back to normal within a couple of days. There were many, many times that we indulged said act and there was no pain, only intense pleasure.
Again, I tell you, from personal experience, that unless someone's out to really do you harm or they have no idea wtf they're doing anal sex shouldn't do you any substantive damage.
Also, you may have the misperception that all anal sex is violent and harsh. Not the case, not at all. Having a man completely at my mercy, moving his body the way I desire, pounding into him, saying lots of wonderful things to let me know just who that ass belongs to is great. So, too, is it great to be very tender and easy with a man as I fuck him.
I think you're wigged by stereotypes and unfounded fears.
And, hey, it may not be for you but, then men I've shared it with have enjoyed it immensely, I enjoy it immensely and it would be a negative on my wish list if a partner flatly refused as it's an act I take and give great pleasure in.
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to spokanesub85)

Post #: 9

RE: Strap-on play - 7/29/2009 12:01:27 AM

spokanesub85

Posts: 46
Joined: 7/27/2009
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You make good points, and are obviously more experienced in the matter than I. Still not something I am interested in, but I guess that's my problem I have to deal with.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 10

RE: Strap-on play - 7/29/2009 12:41:36 AM

AlexandraLynch

Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
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It wouldn't be a problem for me, personally, as a mistress. But then again, I don't own a strapon and am in no rush to buy one.

While I admire your care and caution, as someone who has enjoyed anal sex as the receptive partner, the only thing I ever warn people about is the fact that occasionally under the effects of endorphins one can make decisions which leave one sitting down with great care for a couple of days, and so there is no such thing as either too much patience and stretching or too much lube. But I had a third degree tear the last time I had a baby, and so have to be careful not to rupture the scar again. It's prone to that. For some people, the soreness is probably fun, just as for some people lingering marks remind them of the fun they had.

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RE: Strap-on play - 7/29/2009 10:17:10 AM

DavanKael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spokanesub85
You make good points, and are obviously more experienced in the matter than I. Still not something I am interested in, but I guess that's my problem I have to deal with.

Thank you.
I'm glad you're not hanging your objections on matters medical anymore.
As you're not my partner, not something with which I'll concern myself over-much.
I will say that, in general, a partner with a limit about something I enjoy very much would make themselves less desirable via that facet, however, I don't 'do' casual play (Not judging anyone who does) so if I wind up loving someone again who isn't into it (My ex- tried to make me feel as if there was something wrong with me for wanting it: never got a finger in that boy's ass, let alone a strap-on, in 17 years together) I'll have to deal but given the choice, it's something happily on the sexual menu. :>
Best wishes with that which you seek.
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to spokanesub85)

Post #: 12

RE: Strap-on play - 7/31/2009 9:56:28 PM

flowerchicknz

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Joined: 4/23/2009
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As a rule of thumb your anus can take strapons the same size as the buttplugs you train on. The bigger the plug, the bigger the surprise strapon sex.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 13

RE: Strap-on play - 8/1/2009 5:00:59 AM

MsStarlett

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Joined: 12/23/2007
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Ok. Backing up to the original question, "Does it make you less desirable as a sub." Not to everyone. Lots of Dommes enjoy it but not all of us do it. There is nothing in the FemDom Charter that we must all wear black leather corsets, stilettos and strap ons. To each her own.

What you have is a mental hang up about it. That's ok. That can be worked through IF it's important to your Domme. Do you enjoy ass play of any kind? If so, why is a strap on any different? Or to you think that the anus is and "Exit Only" portal? Did you ever want to have anal sex with a woman? Why is it "Ok" for her to do it and not you? Have you ever had a prostate exam? Did it embarrass the hell out of you? Was it worse because you kind-a liked it? Are you afraid that if you like things in your anus stroking your prostate that you might be gay? These are the kinds of questions that you need to ask yourself. (I'm sure if we stop and think longer, we can come up with others.)

Personally, I used to have BIG hang up over strap ons. I didn't like them. As a female supremist, I found it an offencive concept that a woman can't be Dominant without a penis because "The Power is in the Penis", not the heart, mind and soul of the human. Long story short, I was prejudist against them because I thought that the use of a 'prosthetic' ment that I was in some way "not enough" with my female parts. (The bizarre thing with me was the fact that I didn't have this hang up about other types of ass play. But that's a different story.)

Want to know how I got over it? I had to start looking at it from a different angle. I had long discussions with a good bisexual sub who explained that it had nothing at all to do with my mental hang ups. He explained that it just feels good and it is an act that he enjoyed with people he loved and respected. You need to stop thinking of it as a torment and consider it one more way to express your intimant feelings. It's just a different form of sex, like oral. Let's face it, I enjoy anal sex and I don't even HAVE a prostate. All those gay men throughout the centuries can not have been totally wrong. There had to be something pleasurable about it. A strap on is a way for a heterosexual man to enjoy that pleasure with a female.

On the medical side... as with anything... BE CLEAN! I like to use a condom on my insertable toys. Start with a small one (if you can FIND a small one *eye roll*) In fact, start with butt plugs. Buy your own off the internet and use it in private so you are not embarrassed about it. Don't share with others, keep it clean and you'll feel better about it. If you find that you enjoy the sensation, go with that mind set. It's not gay. It just feels good. Then you might want to try the next step.

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the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
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RE: Strap-on play - 8/1/2009 6:01:53 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

love strapon play i must say

it does feel good being fucked by your lady when she wears a strapon ...love the look when she walks in wearing that big 10 in cock of hers as its dangling inbetween her sexy legs

we both know where its going with that big smile on her face

love how she lubes up my ass first as i kneel doggy style before her ..to feel her fingers in me getting me ready to accept her cock really kicks in my submissive side ...talk about being in a vulnerable position before her love a lady in control

then she lubes up her cock and as i look back in the mirror the moment she slides in the head she has me right where she wants me

love to feel it go all the way in as she goes slow at first making sure im ready for her to fuck me ...then after the first minute she starts fucking me good with it as she rams it in and out ...love how that feels

yes im always clean for her enemas before are a must i feel ..it makes anal play that much more enjoyable for the both us knowing i am clean for her

for those who love strapon play ...try having her fist you next ...the moment she slides in you with her fist ...that feeling is amazing indeed

great way to submit to a lady when she fucks you and fists you i must say

love a lady in control ..have fun and enjoy mal

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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RE: Strap-on play - 8/1/2009 12:10:48 PM

MsStarlett

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Gees. I have missed you Mal. *hugz*

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Strap-on play - 8/1/2009 12:19:44 PM

GYPZYQUEEN

Posts: 730
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spokanesub85

. I a just wondering if this is a problem for a majority of Dommes. I have been turned away before because of this.

PROBLEM??for a majority...??
IT is a preference or criteria that some DOMMES have when seeking a sub

If you have been turned away then this was their preference.

IT is a LIMIT for you and is to be respected.
If you were turned down then your limit was respected
You do not have to do anything you don't want to.

I have had several say NO ANAL ever ever ever...and did not discount them due to inaccessability of a hole.
THEY are a WHOLE person....

GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 8/1/2009 12:21:11 PM >

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Post #: 17

RE: Strap-on play - 8/1/2009 12:50:48 PM

PeonForHer

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Nothing. I said nothing.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 8/1/2009 12:51:47 PM >

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RE: Strap-on play - 8/1/2009 4:02:31 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
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*giggle* You can send it to me in a PM, Peon.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 19

RE: Strap-on play - 8/1/2009 5:06:03 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
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No, no . . . I did a joke on something that GQ had said, then realised that GQ had already done the joke herself and, in fact, had done it better. Take no notice of my last. I was a different man when I wrote it.

Moving swiftly on:

One eensy medical problem does spring to mind. I've heard that long-term botty-rogering can lead to piles. Or, at least, it did in the cases of a couple of friends of mine. Presumably the answer is not to skimp on the old axle-grease?

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