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RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 2:32:56 PM

Apocalypso

Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
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If I may throw a complication into this hypothetical...

If the aggressive drunk is reaching for something that may or may not be a knife, would most submissives prefer that

a) a dominant tries to talk him out of it still, possibly resloving the conflict peacefully, but also running a risk that a weapon may be used if he still attacks

or

b) a dominant attempts to do something to disable him before this can happen, stopping him getting further towards producing what may be a weapon. But obviously completely abandoning the chance of resolving the situation with violence.

I'm just not sure all situations have an obvious 'right answer' in the way some seem to think.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 21

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 2:42:29 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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My answer remains the same.

Since I would be smacking the drunk up side the head anyway, the man at my side had better be prepared to do some head banging too.

Besides...we all know how much I love a good fight

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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Post #: 22

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 3:37:35 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I would find him hotter for walking away than fighting.

When I was really young I thought the "bad guy" was hot, he would always "uphold my honor" by getting into a physical altercation. I've learned as I've matured that this had nothing to do with my honor and everything to do with his need to all macho and angry.

Yeah...no longer hot to me. I now look at those types of men and think "doofus".

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 23

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 5:17:58 PM

wineDineNtieMe

Posts: 52
Joined: 7/9/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

If I may throw a complication into this hypothetical...

If the aggressive drunk is reaching for something that may or may not be a knife, would most submissives prefer that

a) a dominant tries to talk him out of it still, possibly resloving the conflict peacefully, but also running a risk that a weapon may be used if he still attacks

or

b) a dominant attempts to do something to disable him before this can happen, stopping him getting further towards producing what may be a weapon. But obviously completely abandoning the chance of resolving the situation with violence.

I'm just not sure all situations have an obvious 'right answer' in the way some seem to think.

I dunno, I've had a family member killed about a 18 months ago when he walked away from some guys with guns. When you're talking weapons or potential weapons that's a whole different ballgame.

_____________________________

When everything feels like the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive.
-Goo Goo Dolls, Iris

(in reply to Apocalypso)

Post #: 24

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 9:32:18 PM

MMagic

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

My answer remains the same.

Since I would be smacking the drunk up side the head anyway, the man at my side had better be prepared to do some head banging too.

Besides...we all know how much I love a good fight

I gotta say...I love a good fight too, lol

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 25

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 9:40:34 PM

MMagic

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
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Well hmmmmm....

I often say to Sir that we are Bonnie and Clyde re-incarnated. Whatever powers that be decided to toss us together must be really bored or a whole other kinda Sadist/Masochist.

That being said, Sir and i are very alike in personality so if said drunk or attacker came up looking for trouble, that's just what they'd find. He does laugh when I talk about who's gonna get the 'business' from me and calls me 'tiny' but knows if there is trouble I'm in it with him and no way I'm letting him defend 'Us/us' without me helping him.

So I guess no, defending my honor is probably not a turn on for me. Now what I do find attractive is how he deals with *me*. I'm more than a handful and realized long ago that I have a very dominating personality. But I am submissive because I desire to bend to one man only. The fact that he's able to silence me with a glance is much more sexy than him fighting off a band of bad guys. I just have to work on not grinning at him when I get the glance. I SO love when he does that I can't help but grin.

I also admire the way he takes charge in situations where I'm a little bereft as to what to do. Oh and the long eyelashes and lovely abs don't hurt either. I'm so gonna get in trouble for this post <still can't stop grinning>

< Message edited by MMagic -- 7/29/2009 9:41:35 PM >

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West

(in reply to MMagic)

Post #: 26

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 10:28:07 PM

janiebelle

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/29/2009
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So a pretty prolific thread has got me thinking about what we as submissive admire in dominants. Do we hold physical strength in high regard?
I do.

Lets give an example, you are walking with your dominant and some drunk comes up to pick a fight, would you have more admiration for a dominant who walked away or had a fight.
"Pick a fight" covers a lot of ground. If he's just a drunk idiot who likely has no idea what he's doing, I would expect a dom to blow him off. If he's a drunk engaging in an actual assault, it is a different story. You have to meet that kind of force with superior force to stop the assault.

In a fight would winning make a difference to your attitude to them?
Not unless he wussed out and cried like a girl.

Do you think resolving an issue with violence is a trait associated with dominance?
The inclination to resolve an issue with physical violence? No
The ability to resolve an issue with physical violence? On a prmial level, I have to admit, yes.

(in reply to MMagic)

Post #: 27

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 10:34:15 PM

janiebelle

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline

If I may throw a complication into this hypothetical...

If the aggressive drunk is reaching for something that may or may not be a knife, would most submissives prefer that

a) a dominant tries to talk him out of it still, possibly resloving the conflict peacefully, but also running a risk that a weapon may be used if he still attacks

Talking down an armed assailant is best left to HRT negotiators.

b) a dominant attempts to do something to disable him before this can happen, stopping him getting further towards producing what may be a weapon. But obviously completely abandoning the chance of resolving the situation with violence.

This. Even if it means merely getting out of the way so I can draw on the rat bastard. An assailant's weapon can be drawn and brought into play much faster than the eye and brain can process a reaction.

I'm just not sure all situations have an obvious 'right answer' in the way some seem to think.

QFT. Situations that may or may not require physical force to resolve are very fluid in their nature. And while most of us would like to predict we'd take the moral high ground, when it comes down to the safety of us and ours, we might just find ourselves reacting with extreme prejudice.

j

(in reply to janiebelle)

Post #: 28

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/29/2009 11:27:55 PM

BoundDragon

Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline

I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever. If I was in trouble (and I mean real trouble) my master would defend me with no question. We have agreed though that I can fight my own battles and handle things unless they get beyond me.

I do not condone violence and always seek out alternative but I am also a realist and sometimes I understand you are left with no options.

I love sirs big strong arms, but wehn I think about them it is more to do with them overpowering me, and holding me so close, so tight.

What I do seem to be drawn to are his eyes, they are so piercng and I swear they can see right through me and into my soul. I love that so much.
Lastly, even before a relationship started between us he was looking out for me and helping with my welfare.

He is perfect for me

(in reply to janiebelle)

Post #: 29

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 1:21:33 AM

Saezure

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2005
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Now, now besos...can't go giving away My mesmerizing secrets!...get to bed!

(in reply to BoundDragon)

Post #: 30

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 2:07:21 AM

VanityFix

Posts: 141
Joined: 7/20/2009
Status: offline

So a pretty prolific thread has got me thinking about what we as submissive admire in dominants. Do we hold physical strength in high regard?
i enjoy the idea of being physically overpowered, but beyound that only in day to day uses such as carrying groceries which doesnt take alot of strength.

Lets give an example, you are walking with your dominant and some drunk comes up to pick a fight, would you have more admiration for a dominant who walked away or had a fight.
each situation is different, id respect anyone who handled it as best they could, and avoided conflict

In a fight would winning make a difference to your attitude to them?
yes, i would surrender myself to the drunk as property/trophy if they won

Do you think resolving an issue with violence is a trait associated with dominance?
yes, not a good one but intimadation with violance is often used to assert dominance in many places in life.
in bdsm i dont think kicking the shit out of your sub is ok, but things like inflicting pain could be seen as violence, ex. your sub is bad and your punishing them with spankings which they hate, is that a violent act?

(in reply to Saezure)

Post #: 31

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 3:51:21 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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So a pretty prolific thread has got me thinking about what we as submissive admire in dominants. Do we hold physical strength in high regard.

Lets give an example, you are walking with your dominant and some drunk comes up to pick a fight, would you have more admiration for a dominant who walked away or had a fight.

Neither really. I'd expect him to do the sensible thing...whatever that might be at the time.

In a fight would winning make a difference to your attitude to them?

If you mean a physical altercation, not in the least. I don't really see many situations as *win or lose*, anyhow. Sometimes things don't work out in your favour, no matter what tack you take, it doesn't equate to winning or losing.

Do you think resolving an issue with violence is a trait associated with dominance?

No.

agirl

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 32

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 6:53:12 AM

MMagic

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saezure

Now, now besos...can't go giving away My mesmerizing secrets!...get to bed!

<pretends to be asleep, complete with fake snores and everything. Secretly plots to post more, telepathically>

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West

(in reply to Saezure)

Post #: 33

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 6:59:02 AM

fadedshadow

Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

If I may throw a complication into this hypothetical...

If the aggressive drunk is reaching for something that may or may not be a knife, would most submissives prefer that

a) a dominant tries to talk him out of it still, possibly resloving the conflict peacefully, but also running a risk that a weapon may be used if he still attacks

or

b) a dominant attempts to do something to disable him before this can happen, stopping him getting further towards producing what may be a weapon. But obviously completely abandoning the chance of resolving the situation with violence.

I'm just not sure all situations have an obvious 'right answer' in the way some seem to think.

i would prefer the second one. you can never be too careful

_____________________________

your living nightmare

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Post #: 34

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 7:28:21 AM

Apocalypso

Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle
QFT. Situations that may or may not require physical force to resolve are very fluid in their nature. And while most of us would like to predict we'd take the moral high ground, when it comes down to the safety of us and ours, we might just find ourselves reacting with extreme prejudice.

Absolutely. And, even if the situation is read completely correctly, for me the moral high ground is the solution that uses the least possible violence. Which isn't always the same as no violence.

I'd rather not associate with people who kick off with anybody who looks at their girlfriend. But I'd also rather avoid people who'll stand back wringing their hands while I'm on the floor being repeatedly kicked in the head.

There's one exception to the latter. A good friend of mine is a pacifist. And I don't expect him to get involved in a physical fight if I'm attacked. And I accept that I should stand back if he is, because he'd rather be killed than have another human being hurt on his behalf. Thankfully, the second has never happened. I'm not sure I'd do the right thing if it did.

And if a submissive posting to this thread is like my friend, they have my utmost respect. That kind of noble selflessness fills me with something approching awe. I couldn't ever be with you, because I couldn't deal with the idea of standing back while somebody I cared about that much was badly hurt in front of me. But I have nothing but applause for your principles.

But if that's not you, you can't then say "always talk them out of it, never use violence". Because you aren't accepting the possible consequences.

Linking this to the thread that inspired this, one thing we should never do is kid ourselves that violence, real street level violence, is glamourous, sexy or exciting. Anyone who thinks that should meet my brother. Ask him what it's like working A&E on a Saturday night.

I believe violence is sometimes necessary. But that doesn't change the fact that it is always nasty, brutal and ugly.

I've been in a fair few fights, for what I believe to be good reasons. And we 'won' most of them. Needed? Yeah. But I still can't shake the vague feeling of having done something a bit grubby.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to janiebelle)

Post #: 35

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 8:55:58 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I like it that my Master is phycsially stronger than i am. I feel so safe and protected. I know he will not let anyone hassle his girl. For the situation posted. As long as the drunk was unarmed Master would just ignore him. If he peristed in bothing us Master would tell him "back off " or something like that. I have more respect for a guy who will try to avoid violence. However if Master had to fight he would kick his ass. So winning is a forgone conclusion.

Resloving a suitation with violence is not a trait i associate with dominance. Sometimes violence is unadvoidable though.

Master protects me, if he has to fight he will do so. He would perfer to aviod sitiation like that then fight. Cause fighting usually causes more trouble then it's worth

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Apocalypso)

Post #: 36

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 11:04:54 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

Linking this to the thread that inspired this, one thing we should never do is kid ourselves that violence, real street level violence, is glamourous, sexy or exciting.

*sigh*
Even I can agree with that. And I like violence; but dayum...even I don't want anything to do with the kind of violence that I grew up with on the streets of Chicago...yes, I would try my best to walk away from those kinds of confrontations.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Apocalypso)

Post #: 37

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/30/2009 11:38:58 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Physical strength is a turn on for me. Fighting when you have the opportunity to walk away is stupid.

A karate instructor once said: Talk your way out, walk your way out, run your way out. Fighting is when there are no other options.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 38

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/31/2009 1:40:09 PM

roland23

Posts: 241
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

As a species, we humans definitely need to eveolve. This is about the law of the jungle, right? Who is the toughest, who can frighten with just one word or even a look. What a nightmare. It also makes it clear to me that the toughest, biggest and most macho guy gets the girl. Perhaps the reason so many of us have had problematic relationships is because we look like we could not defend our women. Or our cave. Or our pet woolly mammoth. I prefer to walk away or use diplomacy. If that fails I call friends from the Middle East!

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 39

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/31/2009 2:17:18 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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you're right Apocalypso, in real life very few situations are obvious.

I can tell you that I have, in fact, been in that situation -- midnight... down town... obviously drunk guy let's me know he wants my wallet... guy begins to reach into pocket.

I'm not one prone to physical violence but this was pretty cut & dried for me. I "disabled" him promptly then continued on my way to the light rail and went home. I didn't see any particular reason why I should incur any additional risk and "disabling" him wasn't any chuck norris move... the guy had almost disabled himself with alchohol. Palm-strike to the solar plexus (which I missed and think perhaps broke a rib judging from the sound). He went down and I moved on.

So even me, the generally nonviolent guy found violence a tidy solution to that situation. Had the guy been a little less drunk it would've been more complicated since my MA training is about 2 decades stale now so the risk factors would've been very different. Carol would've been horrified not only at the violence but at the fact that I left him there to heal or not without much concern one way or the other. On the other hand, she'd have been safe.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Apocalypso)

Post #: 40

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