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RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/31/2009 2:33:06 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

Honestly?
Ignore the person, pull me around him and we can walk on. I'll respect that.
If it gets violent and he hits you or me, bet my hand is allready on my taser. I know I can draw my weapon faster then you can talk someone out of trying to hurt us. Get out of my way, I'll take care of that. You call the cops.

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(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 41

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 7/31/2009 10:49:44 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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Do we hold physical strength in high regard.
****I don't know about anyone else but I do. It's not the only trait I hold in high regard (As an example, I think intelligence is turbo-sexy!)

Lets give an example, you are walking with your dominant and some drunk comes up to pick a fight, would you have more admiration for a dominant who walked away or had a fight.
****Depends. Wussing out of a fight is different from evading it. If my partner (Dominant or not) wussed out, oh, big problems as I would question their willingness to protect me and the value they place on my safety. Evading it, okay.

In a fight would winning make a difference to your attitude to them?
****Hmmmm, whenever I've contemplated My Man fighting on my behalf, I envision him winning. Having contemplated a partner who gave a dear friend a 'limp fish handshake', I felt kinda ill at the implications and thought a bit less of him ('Course, he did lots of other things that went along with that). If my Parnter took a beat-down and fought his ass off, I'd respect that. If he acted like some delicate little flower, that would be a problem.

Do you think resolving an issue with violence is a trait associated with dominance?
****Not necessarily but I think that if a situation requires violence to keep me/us safe and a Partner fails to prove he's up for it, I would look very dimly upon that.
I make no bones about the fact that I would like a partner who would kill to protect me if need-be.
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 42

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/1/2009 1:37:52 PM

Lostkitten3

Posts: 179
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

I would definitely have more admiration for the Dom that can talk him down and get him help. A taxi home perhaps, or his group of friends.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 43

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/1/2009 1:49:11 PM

Lostkitten3

Posts: 179
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

This sounds to me like a reasonable solution. In my mind, a Dominant man is in control, more or less of a situation. He doesn't ned to "kick ass" only to keep me safe. I would expect him to do only what is necessary to get me out of the situation safely, and then himself as well. I suppose this is also the definition of a gentleman.

Given, on further contemplation, that a drunk would not have the presence of mind for a discussion, do what is necessary to avoid him and get away from him. Even if that means sending me to call the police.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

you're right Apocalypso, in real life very few situations are obvious.

I can tell you that I have, in fact, been in that situation -- midnight... down town... obviously drunk guy let's me know he wants my wallet... guy begins to reach into pocket.

I'm not one prone to physical violence but this was pretty cut & dried for me. I "disabled" him promptly then continued on my way to the light rail and went home. I didn't see any particular reason why I should incur any additional risk and "disabling" him wasn't any chuck norris move... the guy had almost disabled himself with alchohol. Palm-strike to the solar plexus (which I missed and think perhaps broke a rib judging from the sound). He went down and I moved on.

So even me, the generally nonviolent guy found violence a tidy solution to that situation. Had the guy been a little less drunk it would've been more complicated since my MA training is about 2 decades stale now so the risk factors would've been very different. Carol would've been horrified not only at the violence but at the fact that I left him there to heal or not without much concern one way or the other. On the other hand, she'd have been safe.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 44

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/1/2009 3:02:00 PM

bashfulhuck

Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline

So here is my take on things from the perspective of the very large, stong man that has alot of training, and combat experience. Violence for the sake of violence I absolutely abhor. I would never raise my hand to another person in an attempt to truly harm them unless I had a very good reason. That being said, in this day and age, where people just seem to want to shoot, stab, or gang up on other people, sometimes just for a kick, if I am accosted, or I think my people are in any kind of immediate physical danger, I will do whatever I have got to do to protect myself and my people. But I will also only use the minimal amount of force needed to do so.
I'm not a cave man, I have discipline and restraint. But I'm also the guy that would never hesitate should the need arise. Some drunk trying to pick a fight, unless he's already swinging, just isn't much of a threat to me. Some guy coming up to me on the street that threatens me or mine and wants to take our property, he's going to get taken down. Somebody actively attempts to do harm, and they are getting very hurt, very fast. Today, I don't have time to determine if that person is armed, if confronted, my first thought is that they are and they will use it.
For the people I'm around, the confidence, the ability to protect, the strength, those are admirable things. But also, honor, restraint, discipline, and mercy are also admirable. Generally speaking, I don't really have much to worry about with people picking fights. I spend most of my time around friends, and they are all built like me, and have the type of presence I have. And that has great value to us, because we would rather never have to cause another person harm.
I admire pacifists, but I certainly would not be considered one of them.

(in reply to Lostkitten3)

Post #: 45

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/1/2009 3:19:19 PM

FawneTwo

Posts: 98
Status: offline

I respect a man who has the ability to evaluate a dangerous situation and act on it effectively. That said, I admire courageous men with athletic ability and skill.

(in reply to bashfulhuck)

Post #: 46

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/1/2009 4:15:27 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: roland23
As a species, we humans definitely need to eveolve. This is about the law of the jungle, right? Who is the toughest, who can frighten with just one word or even a look.

In short, "yes". The sad truth roland is that when the barbarians come knocking at the gate and they aren't looking for a lively evening's discourse then it really is all about the law of the jungle... well... as noted, a certain amount of dominance can also change the tenor of a situation. But even that is merely implied aggression.

Just to give you a less clear cut example (and also one from my own life), you drive up to the convenience store and outside you see 3 large men in an altercation with a woman. There's much gesturing, screaming, then one of them grabs her forceably by the arm and she vainly tries to pull away. So at that point am I to be "evolved" and avoid the possible confrontation? No matter what I do, if I intercede with that much testosterone already flowing, I am absolutely risking a full-on physical brawl. If I just call the police, they are absolutely not going to arrive in time to save her from whatever was going to happen next -- this was in real time.

My actual answer was to pull the car in, get out and stare at them meaningfully as I held my cell phone up. They decided the 911 call wasn't worth the trouble for them and the guys departed. But really that was just luck. They could've just as easily jumped me and suddenly I'm in a very unevolved violent moment.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to roland23)

Post #: 47

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/2/2009 12:30:24 AM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: roland23
As a species, we humans definitely need to eveolve. This is about the law of the jungle, right? Who is the toughest, who can frighten with just one word or even a look.

In short, "yes". The sad truth roland is that when the barbarians come knocking at the gate and they aren't looking for a lively evening's discourse then it really is all about the law of the jungle... well... as noted, a certain amount of dominance can also change the tenor of a situation. But even that is merely implied aggression.

Just to give you a less clear cut example (and also one from my own life), you drive up to the convenience store and outside you see 3 large men in an altercation with a woman. There's much gesturing, screaming, then one of them grabs her forceably by the arm and she vainly tries to pull away. So at that point am I to be "evolved" and avoid the possible confrontation? No matter what I do, if I intercede with that much testosterone already flowing, I am absolutely risking a full-on physical brawl. If I just call the police, they are absolutely not going to arrive in time to save her from whatever was going to happen next -- this was in real time.

My actual answer was to pull the car in, get out and stare at them meaningfully as I held my cell phone up. They decided the 911 call wasn't worth the trouble for them and the guys departed. But really that was just luck. They could've just as easily jumped me and suddenly I'm in a very unevolved violent moment.

Yeah, but regardless of how it turned out, you did the right thing. The best thing you could have done, as intelligent as it was courageous. I don't know how that could have been handled better, given what you had to work with. Very nicely done; my hat's off to you.

That's what I like about conceal/carry laws, and a big part of the reason I decided to get a permit. In a situation like that, stepping out of the car and chambering a round in a Colt .45, while holding the cell phone in your other hand with a smile on your face, is covering your bases about as completely as they can be covered, and at the very least would probably have given you considerably more peace of mind than you apparently felt with only a handful of cell phone. Assuming you're not opposed to conceal/carry and the use of firearms in such circumstances, in which case I apologize if my suggestion goes against the grain of your personal beliefs.

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 48

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/2/2009 12:38:28 AM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Daddy turned around, looked him right in the eye and just said "What?" Guy took a few stumbling steps back and muttered "nothing" and took off like a bat out of hell. He was never hit, never yelled at, wasn't pushed, just looked at and asked "What?"

It's not about violence but there's a certain AIR, a manner, a strength and power. Anyone can pick a fight, some can actually win. But to diffuse a potential dangerous situation with a look and a single word - THAT'S true dominance to me. I still can't believe how that night made me feel safe, protected and loved.

I agree with this 100%. And dammit, I AM jealous. (But happy for Rainfire...)

I also, however, love the dominant man who can -- and will -- rip the panties right off me. :::swoon:::

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 49

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/2/2009 10:21:08 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda
Yeah, but regardless of how it turned out, you did the right thing. The best thing you could have done, as intelligent as it was courageous. I don't know how that could have been handled better, given what you had to work with. Very nicely done; my hat's off to you.

Yeah, but the point here is not what a cool guy I was. The point is that as a civilized, evolved, caring and sensitive man of the 90's yada yada, I like to avoid violence. On the other hand, whatever the heck was going on with that woman was just plain unacceptable to my also civilized and sensitive self. When the barbarians drop by to dance, they call the tune.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda
That's what I like about conceal/carry laws, and a big part of the reason I decided to get a permit. In a situation like that, stepping out of the car and chambering a round in a Colt .45, while holding the cell phone in your other hand with a smile on your face, is covering your bases about as completely as they can be covered, and at the very least would probably have given you considerably more peace of mind than you apparently felt with only a handful of cell phone. Assuming you're not opposed to conceal/carry and the use of firearms in such circumstances, in which case I apologize if my suggestion goes against the grain of your personal beliefs.

I'm not averse to shooting thugs. My own opinion is that once someone opts out of society and chooses to become a barbarian, I have no issues treating them like one. Fundamentally, that means I no longer see them as human and so things like "remose" go out the window. And yeah, in this situation it would've been nice given that all three guys were bigger than me and undoubtedly meaner. But truly, these situations happen so rarely to me... maybe once every 5 years... the risk factors of owning a handgun just aren't worth it to me.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)

Post #: 50

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/3/2009 11:38:57 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Do we hold physical strength in high regard.

I do, yes.

Lets give an example, you are walking with your dominant and some drunk comes up to pick a fight, would you have more admiration for a dominant who walked away or had a fight.

We experienced a situation in which we were kissing on the wharf and some punk said something rude. My owner stepped back and shot him a look, then returned to kissing me. The guy said something crude after that. My owner took a step in his direction and said, "Say something else." The guy quickly scurried off. I loved that. The situation was dealt with, my owner wasn't intimidated, and the guy left.

In a fight would winning make a difference to your attitude to them?

Depends what you consider "winning." Fights scare me. I wouldn't want to see him in one. If he was in one for the purpose of protecting me/us, then I would be grateful he stood up to the situation.

Do you think resolving an issue with violence is a trait associated with dominance?

No. It is a trait that is sometimes called for, sometimes not, depending on the situation. I am not dominant, but I own a weapon and would use it if someone came bursting through my front door.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 51

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/4/2009 12:07:33 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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*tacklesmooches Bashful* Good to see you!
[/hijack]

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(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 52

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/4/2009 2:24:04 AM

Freakgirl4

Posts: 98
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline

Do I hold physical strength in high regard?Not exactly--altho I love it that He is much taller than me.

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 53

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/4/2009 3:43:48 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Do you think resolving an issue with violence is a trait associated with dominance?

hello Lily,
This is so much not a yes or no answerable question.

I think that knowing when an issue needs to be resolved with violence and acting on that is associated with dominance... just as knowing that MOST issues do not need to be resolved with violence and acting with their intellect and other abilities is also associated with dominance.

Wishing you will,
sunny jo

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Post #: 54

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/4/2009 3:48:58 AM

slaveToKnight

Posts: 100
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline

I don't think winning or losing a fight would make a difference to my attitude to my Master. I think the intelligence to use that violent ability (or not) is a trait associated with a good dominant.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 55

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/4/2009 10:53:36 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

grappling with a drunk?? - what a waste of time and energy.

if i was steered firmly across to the other side of the street away from the drunk id know i was in safe sane hands.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 8/4/2009 10:54:28 AM >

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 56

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/7/2009 11:23:58 PM

poeticfreak

Posts: 80
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: roland23
As a species, we humans definitely need to eveolve. This is about the law of the jungle, right? Who is the toughest, who can frighten with just one word or even a look.

In short, "yes". The sad truth roland is that when the barbarians come knocking at the gate and they aren't looking for a lively evening's discourse then it really is all about the law of the jungle... well... as noted, a certain amount of dominance can also change the tenor of a situation. But even that is merely implied aggression.

Just to give you a less clear cut example (and also one from my own life), you drive up to the convenience store and outside you see 3 large men in an altercation with a woman. There's much gesturing, screaming, then one of them grabs her forceably by the arm and she vainly tries to pull away. So at that point am I to be "evolved" and avoid the possible confrontation? No matter what I do, if I intercede with that much testosterone already flowing, I am absolutely risking a full-on physical brawl. If I just call the police, they are absolutely not going to arrive in time to save her from whatever was going to happen next -- this was in real time.

My actual answer was to pull the car in, get out and stare at them meaningfully as I held my cell phone up. They decided the 911 call wasn't worth the trouble for them and the guys departed. But really that was just luck. They could've just as easily jumped me and suddenly I'm in a very unevolved violent moment.

you took a higher road than i would have, tire irons aren't just for flats

_____________________________

I have believed the best of every man. And find that to believe is enough to make a bad man show him at his best, or even a good man swings his lantern higher.- yeats

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 57

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/8/2009 1:31:27 AM

VanIsleKnight

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline

Do we hold physical strength in high regard.
- Yep. I find a physically strong and capable woman -very- attractive, erotic, and enticing. But that's because the first woman I ever saw that I liked was Michelle Pfiefer (sp?) as Catwoman. However I'm not a fan of super muscular woman that are in weight lifting competitions, feminine curves and looks are still very much hard-wired into me.

Lets give an example, you are walking with your dominant and some drunk comes up to pick a fight, would you have more admiration for a dominant who walked away or had a fight.

Scenario specific. Assuming that she took control of the situation before I could do anything, I would have admiration whether she walked away or fought. Some situations you can't talk your way out of, some situations you have to defend yourself. I'd be fighting right alongside her for however long it took for us to escape. If she decided to punish and be malicious... well... I'd be more afraid of her then anything and lose some respect for her, and probably be looking at our relationship a lot closer.

In a fight would winning make a difference to your attitude to them?

Realistically, a bit. Yes. If it came to fight or flight and flight wasn't an option, I'd feel pride for my Mistress if she won the fight. And a little awestruck. I think that people tend to sugarcoat and politically correct things when it comes to violence, in an effort to show evolution. If it comes down to it though, I think people would feel -something- powerful towards a lover/dominant/what-have-you who came fresh from a fight in victory.

Do you think resolving an issue with violence is a trait associated with dominance

Dominance in the sense of BDSM? No. Dominance in the sense of the generic meaning of the word, sometimes. That's how various groups of people in the past and present were ran. Whoever was the biggest, strongest, and toughest was typically the leader, not the smartest. Personally I'd take smart over big and dumb any day.

_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 58

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/8/2009 3:22:38 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

`fr`

While violence (and, really, any sort of danger) has been rare in our time together, what I admire is the fact that Michael puts himself between me and whatever the danger (real or imagined) may be. Sometimes that means he shoves me behind him or grabs my arm to prevent me from continuing forward if I don't see the danger, etc. It's his instinct to protect me above himself. Would he win in a fight? Probably not. He's pushing 60, has medical issues and is much more a lover than a fighter, but he's also from the Bronx, New York, so I wouldn't want the theory tested. He's got courage. He defends me and protects me instinctually. That's good enough for me. Regardless of what may happen in a round of fisticuffs, that makes him a winner in my book.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 59

RE: Ohh you are so big and strong - 8/8/2009 4:58:27 PM

sabis

Posts: 136
Joined: 6/29/2005
From: Midwest, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Do you think resolving an issue with violence is a trait associated with dominance?

Simple answer: No.

Longer answer: I am given a great deal of comfort with the secure knowledge that my Owner could employ a variety of violent means to safeguard me in any given situation. The key word there is 'safeguard'. If keeping me safe meant walking away, he would walk away. If swift and overwhelming violence would safeguard me, he would do so, without a second thought or a moment's lost sleep.

Violence as conflict resolution is not a Dominant trait. Perceiving the best course of action to keep what He owns, safe, is.

In His service,

~sabis
Owned by Cumulus

Post Script: Is physicality something very yummy? Oh, hell yes. Are demonstrations of the capability for violence very yummy? Again, hell yes. Would I view him differently after witnessing such a thing? No, the view would be the same - the curve of my lips wrapped around the base of his groin. ;)

< Message edited by sabis -- 8/8/2009 5:00:41 PM >

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 60

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