RE: What is so bad about a temper? (Full Version)

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TurboJugend -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 2:13:14 PM)

quote:

Temper is a sign of weakness

Not to complain about your opinion ofcourse, but couldn't it be just a sign of beeing human.
If you attack someone it is indeed bad...but aren't there levels of "bad" temper?

( I mean we have crying as weakness..temper...soon we can't have any emotions anymore  lol)



kdsub -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 2:16:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TurboJugend

quote:

Temper is a sign of weakness

Not to complain about your opinion ofcourse, but couldn't it be just a sign of beeing human.
If you attack someone it is indeed bad...but aren't there levels of "bad" temper?

( I mean we have crying as weakness..temper...soon we can't have any emotions anymore  lol)


Of course it is being human...but it is a weakness in all cases...and if possible should be avoided.

Butch



TurboJugend -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 2:24:17 PM)

Agree it should be avoided....perhaps as non-english person I look different at the word weakness...
sounds so absolute...
people can be forced/bullied to the edge..and they get a bad temper then...not sure ( for me) ..if I see such as weakness..
then it is more like a natural reaction..



IronBear -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 2:29:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Temper is a sign of weakness... the inability to control oneself or those around you. What ever you can do when angry you can do better when in control of your emotions.

I am often weak sad but so.

Butch



I disagree with this in the context it is posted. Temper/Anger are part of human emotions, however the person who allows temper to rule him or her is displaying weakness. Rule the temper and channel it into something positive and that displays strength.



kdsub -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 2:42:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Temper is a sign of weakness... the inability to control oneself or those around you. What ever you can do when angry you can do better when in control of your emotions.

I am often weak sad but so.

Butch



I disagree with this in the context it is posted. Temper/Anger are part of human emotions, however the person who allows temper to rule him or her is displaying weakness. Rule the temper and channel it into something positive and that displays strength.



You will be stronger with your anger controlled ... you will be able to think better. Unless you mean channeling as in controlling. Anger clouds logical thinking in all cases and will weaken you.

Butch



beargonewild -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 2:46:49 PM)

As I see it, a temper out of control is a sign of weakness. When a person is able to control a temper and able to channel it to something productive then it is an asset. A person who has learned not to allow their temper to flash out of control is a much better person I believe. A temper which causes a person to react in blind anger, say things which can't be taken back coupled with saying things which shouldn't be said to another is a sign of weakness, a weakness in that person's character.



TurboJugend -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 2:52:31 PM)

In some cases the mind doesn't have the urge to think but wants physical defense ( or just scare people off?). So I guess temper might have a use..that makes you stronger by pumping hormones around.
Might temper switch to survival instinct?


just for  info
quote:

Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion, but learning how to deal with it in a positive way is important.

from anger management
one can urgue what a positive way is..when agry..it can be smashing someones face..lol


just thinking..
to judge about temper in a person..shouldn't we know what the cause is?
Temper sounds similar to hate....hate is bad...... Is hate a weaknes? perhaps...but sometimes understandable if you look at what a person  has gone true.

ok..bed time now..thinking to much...lol
sleep well 



janiebelle -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 3:16:36 PM)

FR
The temper/anger/emotional upset thing is part of life.  Things piss us off.  We get mad.
And then what?  How you control that anger or temper is what counts.
If you "kick the dog" (figuratively, calm down, PETA), cool...no harm comes to anyone.
If you lose your shit and hospitalize someone you claim to love...not cool.  It's about choosing appropriate outlets for your anger.  It's not about trying to bottle it up and pretend you never get temperamental.
j



leadership527 -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 3:24:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub
You will be stronger with your anger controlled ... you will be able to think better. Unless you mean channeling as in controlling. Anger clouds logical thinking in all cases and will weaken you.

Wow, much as I am not particularly fond of anger and violence, even I am the first to admit that sometimes I let my rage just go ahead and develop a full head of steam and I'm perfectly fine with that being the absolutely correct response. In very limited situations, anger and violence are, in fact, the perfect tools for the job.

You're mistake here is in thinking that logic is necessarily the best tool for every job. Heck, I'm a logic sort of guy and I don't agree with that. Carol who doesn't live one iota in the world of logic would be confused and/or amused by that viewpoint.



littlewonder -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 3:26:57 PM)

I guess I'll be one of the naysayers who finds a temper to not be attractive in a person at all.

Sure we all get angry but what you do with that anger makes a world of difference. A person with a temper is violent, will hurt someone in some manner and are simply foul beings to be around. I have no desire to be around such people and I do everything within my power to stay as far away from them as possible.

Temper=loss of control



WickedZer0 -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 3:37:10 PM)

Bad tempers, as in uncontrolled anger, bore me. Witnessing someone losing their temper makes them seem crazy, usually because I can't grasp why they are so upset. Usually the reason seems trivial to me, if, for instance, someone killed my dog, I'd most likely lose my temper. Fortunately, my dog is fine.



catize -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 3:42:56 PM)

Anger is an emotion; it is not a ‘weakness’.  Feelings are facts.  If it is there it needs to be admitted to and dealt with. 
 
quote:

Anger clouds logical thinking in all cases and will weaken you.
 
So does happiness or sadness.
If you really think about it, all emotions are loss of control.  We cannot help what we feel, but we can control how we express our feelings. 



MusicalBoredom -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 3:54:19 PM)

–noun 1. a particular state of mind or feelings. 2. habit of mind, esp. with respect to irritability or patience, outbursts of anger, or the like; disposition: an even temper. 3. heat of mind or passion, shown in outbursts of anger, resentment, etc.
I think most of us agree but use different uses of the word.  As seen above, the word temper can be an emotion or an expression on an emotion.  Yes, everyone has feelings and gets a angry.  No, everyone doesn't have "outbursts of anger."






Joseff -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 4:00:12 PM)

I have to look at temper from the point of view of the blacksmith. I understand that the usage of the word has changed in some cases, but the term originates in metal working, and when used as an allegory, fits very well. When something is made from metal, it is hardened by heating to a specific heat, then cooled quickly. This leaves the metal very hard, but inflexible. it will break before it bends. By applying heat again, the metal is softened slightly, allowing it to flex. Metal with a good temper will bend a little under pressure, but will return to its original shape. Metal with a bad temper, may snap, or it may bend and remain bent. If metal is placed under enough pressure, often enough or long enough, it can lose its temper, which will render it useless for whatever task it was meant to perform. If you are having trouble undeerstanding this post, just replact the word "metal" with "a person".



MstrPBK -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 4:24:18 PM)

I was going to respond in a another direction on this thread, but Joseff's history of the term Temper was worth my read. Thank you for sharing that history.

On to my post ...

When I was young (5 to 10 years of age) I had an uncontrollable temper - it was VERY dangerous. Sometime between 10 and 11 my temper snapped and I slammed my bedroom door. NOT to the door frame but to the wall. Rather than bouncing it drove it's way through the sheetrock. That got my attention. i realized that if I did not control my anger I could get into some REAL trouble and from that day forward I have always been mindful of just how angry I can get. This is another reason why I do not my anger out on any slave I might have.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA



Roselaure -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 5:20:26 PM)

When I think of someone as "having a temper", I take it as meaning they are prone to angry outbursts.  I do not care to be around those who cannot control their emotions, especially a Dominant to whom I am submitting.  There are no "good" or "bad" feelings, it's all in how we express them.  Passion does not equate to lack of self control.



IronBear -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 5:30:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

You will be stronger with your anger controlled ... you will be able to think better. Unless you mean channeling as in controlling. Anger clouds logical thinking in all cases and will weaken you.

Butch



Seems that we have a slight communications glitch, I thought it was abundantly clear as supported by my earlier post on this thread that channelling or diverting anger into positive used even like using the rope bound poler I have in my yard for a punching target or a sword on a pell which releases all negative energy in a positive (exercise) manner doing some task and using anger/temper as a driving force and making me feel happy as well as the household feeling happy. Anger is an emotion and like all emptions can be positive or negative. Some fool lays a hand on my wife or attacks members of my home, I get angry, very angry, no temper involved. Indeed witnesses tell me I go dead white and my eyes change colour and I am icy cold. Not Anger, Not temper just using the bad situation to make the offender's day and more really bad, painful and unsightly to look at. All in cold blood. Even this is a positive thing for it notifies other fools what will happen if they misbehave and it probably saved the offender from much worse if the neighbourhood finds out or even jail time. I was once told "In order to learn you must suffer" I have found this to be true.



kdsub -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 6:24:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub
You will be stronger with your anger controlled ... you will be able to think better. Unless you mean channeling as in controlling. Anger clouds logical thinking in all cases and will weaken you.

Wow, much as I am not particularly fond of anger and violence, even I am the first to admit that sometimes I let my rage just go ahead and develop a full head of steam and I'm perfectly fine with that being the absolutely correct response. In very limited situations, anger and violence are, in fact, the perfect tools for the job.

You're mistake here is in thinking that logic is necessarily the best tool for every job. Heck, I'm a logic sort of guy and I don't agree with that. Carol who doesn't live one iota in the world of logic would be confused and/or amused by that viewpoint.



Now see if you have the temper controlled... you can play as mad as you want if that is the face you want to show.

Butch



lovingpet -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 6:33:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub
You will be stronger with your anger controlled ... you will be able to think better. Unless you mean channeling as in controlling. Anger clouds logical thinking in all cases and will weaken you.

Wow, much as I am not particularly fond of anger and violence, even I am the first to admit that sometimes I let my rage just go ahead and develop a full head of steam and I'm perfectly fine with that being the absolutely correct response. In very limited situations, anger and violence are, in fact, the perfect tools for the job.

You're mistake here is in thinking that logic is necessarily the best tool for every job. Heck, I'm a logic sort of guy and I don't agree with that. Carol who doesn't live one iota in the world of logic would be confused and/or amused by that viewpoint.



Now see if you have the temper controlled... you can play as mad as you want if that is the face you want to show.

Butch


Could you expand on this kdsub? I posted a thread kind of in this vein last week. The responses were helpful, but didn't delve into this. Whether by CM mail, here, or on my thread, I would like to hear your thoughts. Thanks

lovingpet



kdsub -> RE: What is so bad about a temper? (7/29/2009 6:53:40 PM)

Nothing special... nor do I always have the ability to do it... but often it is useful to have someone think you are angry... Your anger often inspires fear or lack of confidence in an opponent… It is all part of the game. Very useful in the sub dom relationship.. or in life.

Much has been said about channeling anger… this I don’t need or want. Strong emotions will often muddle clear thinking. In situations that would normally inspire anger or fear I purposely clear the anger from my mind and TRY to change the situation to problem solving. I often become quiet and my concentration increases.

This technique is also useful on the job to reduce stress and increase productivity...and this says nothing of helping you handle pain.

It has always proven beneficial to me.

Butch



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