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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 7/31/2009 10:52:18 AM

Loki45

Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Vertical hood piercing.

http://www.ringsofdesire.com/q_tip.html

Wouldn't that be VHP?

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'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 7/31/2009 10:54:21 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Loki45

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Vertical hood piercing.

http://www.ringsofdesire.com/q_tip.html

Wouldn't that be VHP?

VCH -
Vertical Clitoral Hood

(in reply to Loki45)

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Post #: 62

RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 7/31/2009 11:48:25 AM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
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"Some here have suggested an mental abnormality, which I am not competent to judge, but doubt. Other said that she was unfit for a submissive relation, which is excessive since other submissive aspects of common life or plays went well (I answered that too).
Would you be cranky in such a situation or just impatient and eager to please? "
---Falkenstein

i might be cranky if He denied me a fun hobby i enjoyed (the masturbation) and not given me some other fun hobby to replace it with (an entirely different physical/mental activity).
Is impatience considered a feminine and desired quality by you? You seem to suggest that waiting to orgasm until you were present made her more feminine. To me, impatience in general is neither a feminine or a submissive quality in the Platonic ideal sense. And while being impatient about sex is an occasional enjoyable thing--being kept in this state perpetually might make me cranky as well, as i would become both impatient and bored or annoyed with my constant state of impatience simultaneously.
I still have a disconnect as to the difference between delay and denial. I read your OP and later comments as "you wish to deny her the option to orgasm when you are not present" and think of delayed orgasm as the slowest possible build up towards orgasm during the actual physical act of sexually stimulating a person. Perhaps my definitions (Oi vey, definitions!) are specifics of my own and simply don't coincide with other people's on the matter.
Would i be eager to please? Certainly, i sub. Unless i was looking for more strange and unusual ways for Sir to try to deny me the possibility of touching myself "down there" because i thought it a great treat to get "punished" for misbehaving, more attention for the control mechanism not working or i thought that vein that popped out above His temple when He was irritated was especially cute. Which i would mention at some point, as i wouldn't want to play any fun games with Sir if he didn't know the rules too, it wouldn't be fun then, it'd be just games.

As for other's mentioning health issues . . .
The important bits i took away from RedMagic's post on sex addiction was this sentence, not merely the suggestion of mental instability itself:
" You have to understand why she behaves the way she does, and deal with those motivations."
An excellent guideline for dominating an individual, rather than dominating one's idea of "sub".
I believe Mercnbeth was indicating PSAS, correct? For a trite overview:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=3676562&page=1

Apologies for the ridiculous length of this post.

< Message edited by petmonkey -- 7/31/2009 12:05:11 PM >

(in reply to Falkenstein)

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Post #: 63

RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 7/31/2009 1:40:50 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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petmonkey,
yeah, that was beth of Mercnbeth bringing up the PSAS. thanks for the link...trite, indeed, but at least someone else is making folks aware of it (besides this slave) and that's not a bad thing.

the absolute best part of the article, for this slave, is this gem:

quote:

...Frightened by her suicidal thoughts, Dearmon committed herself to a psychiatric hospital

"And the nurse came in and said, 'Honey, I wish I could stay home and masturbate all day long.'

I'm like in the psychiatric ward because I'm going to take my life and, and here you are belittling me," Dearmon said...

it really does exemplify the lack of understanding...even in the medical community...for what women with PSAS can go through.

(in reply to petmonkey)

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 7/31/2009 2:38:23 PM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
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Thank you for responding, beth!

[i actually had a difficult time finding a link that wasn't trite and was somewhat current, so i went with "somewhat current"]

< Message edited by petmonkey -- 7/31/2009 2:46:55 PM >

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 7/31/2009 4:29:50 PM

Falkenstein

Posts: 187
Joined: 7/22/2009
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My dear Lilly,

if I only knew, or at least had a reasonnable clue.

We had otherwise a good relationship both on the vanilla and M/s levels. My orders were followed, we both got real good kicks of the scenes. As she often said afterward "my legs are still shacking from pleasure", which I will take as the ultimate compliment.
I, on the other side, was a very happy Master... during the weekends or vacations, which are thanks god, long in Europe. During the workdays evening, her "edge" was just absent and she was more "fullfilling her duties". Another member spoke about "having her howl like a coyote until dawn". But when the coyote already howled during the daylight, there not much voice left for the night.

It was a good but not perfect time. We had to part for other, geographical and career reasons and are still in a friendship, of complicit kind, based upon the good time we enjoyed together, and even more about the bad time we had to weather together.

However, it is in my nature that I cannot stand an unsolved problem, especially when I get a kick out of the solution. I am, iin that respect, a pervert geek.

Be seing you

Henry

_____________________________

Henry,

Part of that power which still
Produceth good, whilst ever scheming ill.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

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Post #: 66

RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 8/17/2009 6:32:21 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

     A lot of women get "orgasm control" waaaay to much. I would hope that its more of a problem in the vanilla world, than in the D/s world- but sadly, if I had to bet $20 I might bet that the ratio of unsatisfied women is about the same from one to the other- especially with all the clueless newbies we seem to have around lately.
   I mean of course, that they are unwittingly being "denied" orgasms by bumbling, incompetent lovers.... Now of course a woman is responsible for making sure she gets off one way or another, but if her lover is no help in that area he is likely to be jettisoned.
   To be clear: waaaay too many women have not had nearly enough satisfying (meaning orgasmic and otherwise fulfilling) sex in their lives, and are actively seeking someone with whom they can climax well and often. To put yourself in the category of just another lover who impedes her sexual satisfaction while he gleefully takes his own, is a great way to really piss off a woman.

Wake up and smell the coffee. Women are tired of their satisfaction being pushed aside in favor of a man's. It is heartbreaking when your lover just doesn't care enough about you, to care that you haven't orgasmed, and that the sex hasn't been deeply fulfilling and satisfying for you.

Orgasm control just doesn't work the same for women as it does for men, because we get it all the time. Its so last year. Its so ten years ago. Its so twenty, forty, fifty, its so hundred years ago
Women are actively seeking and demanding men who can pay attenion to their dreams,to their desires, and to there sexual needs for true intimacy and sexual satifaction. We're making up for lost time. Therefor if you can't give it, we're done.

lol... Amen.

I've always wondered why it doesn't occur to some male dominants that by exercising their right to lots of blow jobs and fast, hard sex whenever they want... that their sub ends up deprived of physical satisfaction.

I figure it can only be one of two things... either they are selfishly clueless, or they don't care. Either way, it's not good for the sub.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 8/17/2009 6:54:06 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Loki45

I have yet to meet a guy who wasn't thrilled at being able to make his girl howl like a coyote 'til the sun comes up.

Sure, but I've met plenty who aren't so thrilled if they actually have to put any work into it.

Unfortunately, for those same men, "work" equals having to actually pay attention, listen, remember, and spend more than 30 seconds of effort.

If a woman is lucky, she can get a guy to do that one time. Repeat performances rarely happen spontaneously.

"What? I was supposed to remember all that? And you want to do it again? Sheesh... it's only been a couple of months!

Why don't you just suck my dick?"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loki45

As different as every woman is, the conversation on what feels good and what doesn't is not an optional conversation, D/s or not.

lol... As if.

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 8/17/2009 7:55:18 PM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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LOL well if they can convince the girl she can simply cum when he crooks an eyebrow without so much as touching her flesh, the job is done. He gets all the BJ's he wants and with one easy look he just compels her to cum so he can roll over and sleep, knowing his job is done.
Heh

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loki45

I have yet to meet a guy who wasn't thrilled at being able to make his girl howl like a coyote 'til the sun comes up.

Sure, but I've met plenty who aren't so thrilled if they actually have to put any work into it.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 8/18/2009 1:00:25 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

LOL well if they can convince the girl she can simply cum when he crooks an eyebrow without so much as touching her flesh, the job is done. He gets all the BJ's he wants and with one easy look he just compels her to cum so he can roll over and sleep, knowing his job is done.
Heh

lol... That explains why so many doms are interested in training their subs to cum on command.

Personally, I've always thought cumming on command was the lazy man's way out.

(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 8/18/2009 9:56:18 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
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I know that if asked not to touch "his Clit" I simply don't. Period. I may arouse a bit but I stop myself from cumming. Simple really. Then I am excited beyond belief to see him. But not because of the denial, because he will release all of that pent up need. I simply follow him. Period. Nothing more or less. He likes orgasm control and being able to make me cum when he wants... funny how I love it. We make a perfect match.

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I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 8/19/2009 7:52:14 AM

ranja

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Joined: 11/1/2007
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Did she ask permission before masturbating?
Did you give permission to masturbate but not to cum?

Did you not want her to cum without you present as a general boring blanket rule or was it intance by instance... did she maybe get turned on and thought oh well i'll just fiddle a bit but i will stop intime... and then she got nicely carried away and stopped ok the first time and maybe the second time and then thought oh i'll just have a little more... and tipped herself over the edge...

Did she know that you wanted to give her an orgasm yourself that evening? or was there no arrangement for the evening but a vague promise and maybe you would be tired from work and want to go to bed early so she took care of herself.
Why did she tell you? did she describe it as an accident or did she put it to you as a challenge?

why was she not feeling a bit naughty about her failure to obey and pleasantly feminine and submissively trying to 'make up' to you for taking liberties?
Why did you not exactly find out how and when she got herself turned on... how she touched herself... maybe made her show you... and most importantly did you make her tell you in explicit detail precisely what she thought about while frigging? and exactly which thought she came on?

i prefer to think of orgasm control more as orgasm awareness

(in reply to Falkenstein)

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 8/19/2009 9:07:53 AM

UncleNasty

Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cdub2U

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Tell her not to do it, if she does punish her, then tell her again if she does time to reassess the relationship. Simple. You should not need to 'do' anything other than ask.

My point exactly
I generally do not "tell" but request... They have quickly learned that to not follow my "request" is extremely painful, enough where is only happens once! I feel it is far better to teach than punish (unless it for fun!).

I use a "request" or a "suggestion" in similar ways. They really aren't those things, just politely phrased in those ways.

And I agree that if she isn't complying I would be reappraising the relationship.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to Cdub2U)

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RE: Orgasm control through clit bondage - 8/19/2009 9:50:16 AM

mnottertail

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I think if you were to clip a vicegrip on that little fucker, it would slow her down some, don't you?

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