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RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/20/2006 9:44:10 PM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I've met a few that have SOME of these qualities... but this Master... this one man.. is the only one I've met.. that has all these... and a few more.


that's interesting because i would say that my one man has all of these qualities and more than a few others as well.

There are more than our two men who have these qualities - there are good, worthy men in the world. i met mine qutie by accident when i was distracted and almost missed him completely. it was he, the man he is, that made me pay attention.

i do think that as you are, as you say, very new, it bears repeating, as wonderful as a man may be - mine included - he is still a human.

newflowers

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/20/2006 9:49:09 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
2. They make no demand to be called "Master" etc. until a collar is considered, and perhaps not even then. They certainly do not choose "MasteroftheUniverse" nicks and demand every woman address Them as such.


This might have more to do with exposure and experience than how Domly or Masterful they are. In the beginning, almost all the Tops learn that newness in a dom is not considered a virtue in the community, so they quickly don the robes of LordMasterDomlyDom and cap their pronouns to show everyone just how domly (and, hence experienced) they really are. I have known many a bright, well-intentioned and good hearted dom who has fallen into that trap...but once they pick up a bit of actual experience, they figure out that you don't need to (as Disco Stu puts it) advertise.

On the other hand, there are some folks wh have been around a long time and still have yet to figure it out...I think the BDSM gods provide them as comic relief.

Taggard



Hey Taggard... I think that you may have hit the nail on the head...

comic relief... good one... I agree...


1st Girl Phoenix

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/20/2006 9:51:57 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

i have found a few things to be true about Doms and Masters:

1. They have impeccable manners, at all times. (Apart from protective moments, etc.)

2. They make no demand to be called "Master" etc. until a collar is considered, and perhaps not even then. They certainly do not choose "MasteroftheUniverse" nicks and demand every woman address Them as such.

3. They are kind and compassionate, answering people in trouble (even of their own making) with sound advice.

4. They are financially stable, whether pauper or prince.

5. They never ask me for free advice.

6. Whatever They have chosen to do for a living, They do so well and confidently.

7. They never pressure me to agree in advance to something which exceeds my limits.

8. In disagreeing with someone, they discuss the point of contention, and refrain from attacking the poster (even when doing so would be fun).

9. They are never self-important; They post as Their own opinion, not The Way It Should Be.

10. They always seem to see Themselves as works in progress, open to new experiences and to learning.



Himself has 8 out of 10, but he does have other qualities not listed, so that works well for me. :)

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/20/2006 10:06:17 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newflowers

quote:

I've met a few that have SOME of these qualities... but this Master... this one man.. is the only one I've met.. that has all these... and a few more.


that's interesting because i would say that my one man has all of these qualities and more than a few others as well.

There are more than our two men who have these qualities - there are good, worthy men in the world. i met mine qutie by accident when i was distracted and almost missed him completely. it was he, the man he is, that made me pay attention.

i do think that as you are, as you say, very new, it bears repeating, as wonderful as a man may be - mine included - he is still a human.

newflowers


Oh I can agree with this... met mine on accident too... as far as I go.. seems he "stalked" me for a bit before leting me know he was even interrested in me... and then I didn't even notice that... I wasn't looking... my girlfriends had to slap me up side the head basically to take notice.. LOL

But yes.. he's human.. makes a few mistakes now and then.. but hell.. so do I.

I know there are others out there as well... like I said.. this was the only one I PERSONALLY ever met. Didn't mean to imply there wasn't others out there the same way.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to newflowers)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/20/2006 11:09:15 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

"Domliness and Masterfulness"

i am VERY new to BDSM and yet i have found a few things to be true about Doms and Masters:

1. They have impeccable manners, at all times. (Apart from protective moments, etc.)

2. They make no demand to be called "Master" etc. until a collar is considered, and perhaps not even then. They certainly do not choose "MasteroftheUniverse" nicks and demand every woman address Them as such.

3. They are kind and compassionate, answering people in trouble (even of their own making) with sound advice.

4. They are financially stable, whether pauper or prince.

5. They never ask me for free advice.

6. Whatever They have chosen to do for a living, They do so well and confidently.

7. They never pressure me to agree in advance to something which exceeds my limits.

8. In disagreeing with someone, they discuss the point of contention, and refrain from attacking the poster (even when doing so would be fun).

9. They are never self-important; They post as Their own opinion, not The Way It Should Be.

10. They always seem to see Themselves as works in progress, open to new experiences and to learning.

candystripper


*strikes a pose....*

Heeeeerrrre I come to save the DAAAAYYYYY!!!

What? WHAT???

Oh damn, y'all are laughing at me now.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/20/2006 11:18:47 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

That was poorly written; what i meant was there are times to be rude, even aggressive. For various reasons.

candystripper


I know a few people who have impeccable manners and are extremely charming even when they are dealing harshly with offenders. They nay even be in the scene I don't know, never asked them, however they are certainly Dominants and naturally elicit obedience or at least compliance by their presence.

However I suspect that the majority of Doms/Masters wouldn't score highly on that list.



_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 12:42:51 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Fellatio is an accountrement, not the main course? *hopeful*


Ha!

(grumble… scratching penelope off my favorites list…)


(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 5:48:38 AM   
PenelopePitstop


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DestinyCommander


quote:

ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop

they're here: they're just all taken *grrr*


Many may be taken, but not all. And there are new ones every day...

-- Des



They're here: they're just all taken, or are several hundred miles away. *grrrr*

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to DestinyCommander)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 5:56:38 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop
11. Fellatio is an accountrement, not the main course? *hopeful*


OK another moment where my keyboard had good reason to be thankful I didn't have a mouthfull of coffee when I read something

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 6:19:36 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

"5. They never ask me for free advice.




candystripper


What is wrong with asking for advice?

Perhaps you mean your legal skills, I just found the "never" a strong word, for how is a Dom to fulfill no 10 if he doesn't ask for advice?

Oumae


< Message edited by Oumae -- 2/21/2006 6:20:09 AM >

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 6:23:26 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		Candy, thanks for taking the time to write your thoughts on Doms. In a way this relates to the ethics thread. I said there that I don’t have absolute values because it depends on the person and situation, but I more or less try to model my life as you described your perfect Dom.

Admittedly, I don’t always come near that sketch, but a smudge now and then does not ruin the drawing. Everyone does not catch my errors, hopefully, but I know about them. My performance resembles a Monet painting. It is kind of blurred, but not a bad thing to view.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 6:39:20 AM   
subgem


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/20/2006
Status: offline 		Candystripper,
i just wanted to compliment you on a lovely, optimistic, well expressed post. thank You for writing it, your descriptive words warmed me from the inside out.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 6:51:05 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		The only thing I find surprizing about this thread is that some seem to think it is asking for too much?

Take out a few words, like 'always' and 'never' so as to allow for the fact that Doms are human and humans don't always get things right ALL the time and I really don't think it is a lot to ask for.

Might take a while to find but there are a number of such people out there. There are examples on this very board, Ironbear for one, John Warren for another! and if you extend it to Dommes as well then Hathor and Phoenix are but two who spring to mind. They are out there to be found

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to subgem)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 7:16:10 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I will admit candy, you make Me at times walk away and reflect---as I read this, I smile, for I believe they are not words for Doms...


but words for humanity.


_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 11:03:30 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I will admit candy, you make Me at times walk away and reflect---as I read this, I smile, for I believe they are not words for Doms...


but words for humanity.




Yeah... this makes sense.

And I agree... though Master has these traits... "never" is sometimes replaced by most times.

I on the other hand.. fall short.. but i'm working on it..

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 6:46:05 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Sheesh mate I'm not in the same league as John.. I guess I rate somewhere in the area of 3 or 4 out of 10 by my reconing. Still like all other aspects of my life, it is a work in progress which can never be finished to my satisfaction while I reside in this plain or existance.



_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 6:50:18 PM   
NeedToUseYou


Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline 		I'm the ten not listed LOL. Does that still count as 10 out of 10.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 7:30:01 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I wouldn't trust or feel comfortable dealing with anyone that "perfect". Without a few flaws what would there be to learn and laugh about? I'd prefer someone more human than the person described on your list.

I don't mean to be negative but I think you should prick them with a pin and see if they bleed or just leak oil. :)

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 7:30:13 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm the ten not listed LOL. Does that still count as 10 out of 10.


(laughing) And award me at least a 12 on the leader board.

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 8:46:22 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

However I suspect that the majority of Doms/Masters wouldn't score highly on that list.

IronBear


Apart from temporary set-backs and other unusual circumstances, would You, Sir, consider a Man a Dom or Master if He failed to possess these qualities? Is a Man a Dom or Master merely because He likes submissive women? i guess the real debate is whether "Domliness and Masterfulness" is achieved or self-awarded. And the tangent then becomes who decides, which is endless and without resolve. So all i can say is this is what "Domliness and Masterfulness" mean to me.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 2/21/2006 8:47:35 PM >

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 40
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